chemistry Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious chemistry stories

What are the best Chemistry puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Chemistry? Well here is a complete list of Chemistry to have fun with:

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.


A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.


Old joke, still funny

A genius senior in high school takes a chemistry test. He gets his score back and is shocked he missed exactly one question and thus would not be accepted to his university of choice. He is especially bummed because the question he missed was How many valence electrons does a Hydrogen atom have? In his haste to complete the test, he had answered 2.
Depressed and despairing, he takes a walk alone along a beach and is lost in thought when he trips on a metal object in the sand. Picking it up, he finds it to be a bronze oil lamp, and as his fingers brush the surface of the lamp, a genie suddenly appears. The genie thunders, I can grant you any one wish, but you must answer now. What do you desire? The student eyes light up and immediately replies, I wish I had gotten that question right, and the universe explodes.


For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.


So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes.

I replied "Periodically"


You're not supposed to understand, it's.. (science joke)

A student is in biology lecture when the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's chemistry."

So the student later takes a chemistry lecture and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."

So the student later takes a quantum mechanics course and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."


Chemistry Joke

I hate telling noble gas jokes there's never a reaction.


I was going to say a chemistry joke...

But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction.


Chemistry joke about dry ice.

There are two guys: Bob and Steve. Bob is carving "Drink Coke" into a block of dry ice. Steve asks "why are you carving drink coke into that block of dry ice?" Bob replies "I just heard about this thing called subliminal advertising and I thought I would give it a try."


Final Exam

The Final Exam

There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to school until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The
guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thought this was going to be easy. Then they turned the page. On the second page was written...

For 95 points: Which tire? _________


Chemistry Joke!

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.


I blew up my chemistry experiment

Oxidants happen.


I know its old but I have not seen it on here
So, wanna hear a Chemistry Joke?

Nevermind, all the good ones Argon


Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab?

Because it will create pandamonium


Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!

Edit 1 just thought of this.

What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?


Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line)

Enough to break the ice, how's it going?


What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.


A chemistry joke.

Helium walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases in here."

Helium doesn't react.


Chemistry Joke

This came to me while studying for an exam....

**What did Sodium say when Hypobromite said that it wanted to bond?**

Sodium said "NaBrO"


How often do I joke about chemistry?



Want to hear a chemistry joke?

He He He He He


Because of my cake here are a few physics jokes...

1.) Two kittens are on a roof which one falls off first?

The one with the lowest mew.

2.) what happens to electrons and they lose all the energy?

They become Bohred

3.) People call me lazy but I am just overflowing with potential energy.

4.) Did you hear about the man that was cooled absolute zero?

He is 0k now.

5.) I hear Chemistry jokes periodically, but Physics jokes have more potential.

6.) My Chemistry teacher threw Sodium Chlorite at me, is that considered a salt?

7.) √−1 2³ Σ π

It was very delicious.

Hope you enjoyed them.


I have a few chemistry jokes

I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.


Two students became friends in chemistry class...

...It was a good bonding experience.


Chemistry Humor...

"What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214129×10^23 pieces?"



Chemistry jokes

1. Did you hear about the chemist who got cooled to -273.15°C? He's 0K now.

2. What's the most electronegative state? Fluorida.

3. Wanna hear a joke about sodium bromite? NaBrO

4. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses here!" He doesn't react.

5. What do you call a king's fart? Noble gas.

6. What did the scientist say when he discovered 2 isotopes of helium? He He

7. What's the chemical formula for water? HIJKLMNO

8. I would post more but all the good ones Argon.


Joke for chemistry nerds ;)

Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says:

-We don't serve noble gases here!

Argon doesn't react.


So I tried to make a chemistry joke....

but there was no reaction.


Chemistry Joke

Potassium and Oxygen went on a date.
It was OK.


Element Jokes (CHEESY)

Two chemistry students are walking together.

The first student asks the second, "Can you tell me what the symbol for Potassium is?"

The second student replies, "K."


The two students are studying together after class.

"Do you remember the symbol for sodium?" the first student asks the second.

"Na," he replies.


The two students are working together again.

"Did you memorize the symbol for Nobelium?" the first asks the second.

"No," he tells him.


The second student is telling the first student about neptunium.

"Thanks for all the information you've given me," the first student says to the second.

"Np," the second student responds.


What's a sheep's favourite element?



How do you make element soup?

Mix Sulfur, Oxygen, Uranium, and Phosphorus into boiling water and stir.


Do the Spanish love Silicon?



How do you sing the element song?

Just repeat "Lanthanum" over and over again.


What's Santa's favourite Christmas present to get?

3 atoms of Holmium.


How often do I make a chemistry joke?



What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em?



What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ?



Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until...

Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until he tries to explain the difference between molarity and molality...


Any good chemistry jokes?

A ketone and a primary amine walk into a bar and yell "Let's get Schiff based!"

Why couldn't the hemiacetal maintain a healthy relationship with his family?
He wasn't very stable and was never seen without alcohol.

An organic chemist wanted to reduce a ketone, but not the adjacent aldehyde. His partner suggested that he treat the aldehyde with ethylene glycol to form a cyclic acetal in order to protect the aldehyde from reduction, but he did not listen. He proceeded with the reaction, and both the ketone and aldehyde were reduced.
"This sucks," says the chemist. "I really wanted that aldehyde."
His partner says "Well, if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it."


I was gonna make a chemistry joke...

But all the good ones Argon.


I'd share a chemistry joke...

But all the good ones argon.


You fall asleep in lecture

and when you wake up you cannot remember what class you are in. A demonstration is happening at the front of the class. How do you figure out where you are?

If the demo moves its biology, if it stinks its chemistry, and if it doesn't work its physics.


I was trying to come up with a Chemistry joke...

But all the good ones Argon


Why do people say love is like chemistry?

Because you can put it in someones drink


I would tell you a Chemistry joke...

But all the goods ones argon


A student asks his chemistry teacher

Student: Do we get zinc sulfate when zinc reacts with sulfate?

Teacher: I zinc SO


No chemistry

An enzyme asks a tall, cool glass of milk out on a date. The enzyme takes the milk out to a fancy steakhouse and later to an ice cream shop for dessert. At the end of the night, the enzyme asks, "So, you wanna come up to my place for some coffee?" The milk says, "Sorry, this isn't what I'm looking for. I gouda go," and leaves. The enzyme curses under his breath, "Spoiled bitch."


Why did Walt and Skyler get divorced?

There was no chemistry.


Why does the dyslexic Spanish speaker have a poor self image?

His chemistry teacher told him he was mostly made of cabron.


Terrible Chemistry Joke

Timmy was a Chemist
But now he is no more
What he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4


I would tell your a chemistry joke

But all the good ones argon


I was going to tell a joke in chemistry class today

but I couldn't think of one. All the good chemistry jokes argon.


I would tell a good chemistry joke right now

But all of the good ones argon


The Real Iron Man (Chemistry Joke)

My dad and I were talking and figured out who the real Iron Man is.
Ferrous Bueller



You've read some of the best chemistry jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty chemistry gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these chemistry jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

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