The Best 80 Chemistry Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chemistry jokes. There are some chemistry benzene jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chemistry chemistry mole puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chemistry Jokes and Puns

Joke for chemistry nerds ;)

Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says:

-We don't serve noble gases here!

Argon doesn't react.

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line)

Enough to break the ice, how's it going?

Chemistry joke, Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line)

I was going to say a chemistry joke...

But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction.

For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.


I know its old but I have not seen it on here
So, wanna hear a Chemistry Joke?

Nevermind, all the good ones Argon

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

Chemistry joke, A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab?

Because it will create pandamonium

Chemistry joke about dry ice.

There are two guys: Bob and Steve. Bob is carving "Drink Coke" into a block of dry ice. Steve asks "why are you carving drink coke into that block of dry ice?" Bob replies "I just heard about this thing called subliminal advertising and I thought I would give it a try."

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!

Edit 1 just thought of this.

What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN

Two students became friends in chemistry class...

...It was a good bonding experience.

You can explore chemistry nitrate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chemistry ammonia dad jokes. There are also chemistry puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Chemistry Humor...

"What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214129×10^23 pieces?"

Guacomole.

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

Chemistry Joke

This came to me while studying for an exam....

**What did Sodium say when Hypobromite said that it wanted to bond?**

Sodium said "NaBrO"

I blew up my chemistry experiment

Oxidants happen.

So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes.

I replied "Periodically"

Chemistry joke, So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes.

What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common?

Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.

My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients

I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO

Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.


Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene?

Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D

I came up with this myself. I'm so proud.

My friend asked me if I liked Chemistry jokes...

So I said "Sodium Hydrogen Bromine Oxygen"

Chemistry Hotel

So I was driving down the road, getting pretty tired on my way home and saw a sign that said "Chemistry Hotel"

the sign said:

*"Cheap Day Rates, and Even Cheaper NO3-'s"*

I failed my chemistry lab exam.

I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.

When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience.

I said I was more of a cat person.

I was going to make a chemistry joke...

but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction.

A chemistry teacher is having problems with her desktop...

So she asks the class:
"How do I unfreeze my computer?"

After a few seconds, one student raises their hand and responds:
"What's the melting point?"

Chemistry Joke!

Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.

The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."

"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.

"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.

So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class

Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her booty is sodium fine.

Trying to think of a good chemistry pun

But all the good ones argon

Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting?

They didn't have any chemistry.

Teacher and student

Chemistry teacher: Did you know protons have mass?

Student: 😳 I didn't even know they were catholics.

Organic chemistry is difficult

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble

I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression.

Then I realized alcohol is a solution.

I'd like to apologize for all of my terrible chemistry jokes.

All of the good ones argon.

The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution.

I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.

It turns out my high school Chemistry teacher was right....

Alcohol IS a solution.

Why did the physics teacher breakup with the biology teacher ?

There was no chemistry

My friend told me a chemistry joke

"Do you know any chemistry jokes?

I do but they're all boron."

I have to say, I slapped my neon that one.

I have so many Chemistry jokes to tell

I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction...

My friends told me to stop making chemistry jokes, but then I told just one more

I got no reaction, and now all my friends Argon

Little Ahmed comes home from school.

His mother asks him:

"So what did you do in school today?"

"We were experimenting with explosives in chemistry class." replies Ahmed.

"What are you going to do in school tomorrow?"

"What school?"

The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge.

They only have periodic tables.

Chemistry teacher: can you give me the formula for water?

Student: h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-. Chemistry teacher: where did you get an idea like that? Student: you told us the other day it was h to o.

The chemistry professor says to his students:

"There's deadly gas in this bottle. What steps do we take in case it breaks?"
"Fast steps"

In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl

- Mary, what is H2SO4?

- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.

Quickly, Johnny says:

- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!

Students are smart

Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No

Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?

Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?

HeHe...

Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon

Favorite lame chemistry joke

Argon walks into a bar, bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve noble gasses here".

Argon didn't react

I tried to ask Google for some good chemistry jokes.

But it just kept returning "Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Oxygen Fluorine Fluorine."

I told a chemistry joke the other day...

I thought it was good personally, but the reaction was disappointing!

If chemistry has taught me anything...

It's that alcohol is always a solution

My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.

So I did.

1) Connery

2) Craig

3) Brosnan

4) Dalton

5) Lazenby

She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.

His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.

The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.

They say alcohol isnt the answer.

But chemistry says it is a solution.

People tell me "Alcohol isn't a solution"

But why should I listen to someone who clearly flunked chemistry?

Chemistry Jokes

Me :Is it a crime to throw Sodium Chloride at a woman?
Judge: Yes, that's assault
Me: I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says to the bartender "I'll have a H20". The second one says "I'll have a H2O as well", making sure to not have his order confused with H2O2.

The second chemist died anyway, because the bartender was a chemistry student who had been waiting his whole life for this.

Don't drink water while studying...

Why?

Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.

Note: My first attempt. Thanks.

Biology tell me you're 70% water. Physics tells me that you're 99.99% empty space. Chemistry tells me that you're 60% oxygen.

But I'm telling you that you're a 100% CUTIE!!!

I want to tell a good chemistry joke

But not sure if I would get a good reaction from it

How often do you make chemistry jokes?

Periodically

For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid.

I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.

Once I told a Chemistry joke.

There was no Reaction.

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.

OMg

A chemist walks into a pharmacy...

With a pained expression the chemist asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalicylic acid.

The pharmacist looks confused as he asks, "You mean aspirin?"

The chemist, still in pain replies with exasperation, "Yes! I can never remember that word." (Credit to Mr. Wilgus, my high school chemistry teacher 43 years ago.)

[edit for formatting]

I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake

We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."



The cake burst into tiers.

As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door.

He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....

I should mind my own bismuth.

How often are chemistry jokes posted to reddit?

Periodically

Chemistry joke

Proton and neutron were chilling in the nucleus one day, then proton asks neutron: Why you only hangout with me in here instead of electron?

Neutron replies: He was too negative to begin with.

Helium walks into a bar

Helium walks into a bar,

The bar tender says We don't serve noble gases in here. **Helium doesn't react!.**

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? ** HeHe **

I would make another chemistry joke but all good ones **ARGON**!

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like.. .. **OMg**

Can we please stop posting chemistry jokes?

I keep seeing the same jokes reposted periodically.

Here's one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans

Hall of Famer Al Kaline wore #6 throughout his career, which actually makes him slightly acidic.

Four students are in the car that breaks down

First student, engineering student, says "This is mechanical problem, there's nothing we can do."

Second student, chemistry student, says "You're wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline. There's nothing we can do."

Third student, electrical engineering student, says "No, there's problem with ignition. There's nothing we can do."

Last student, IT student, says "We should exit car, close the doors, come in and try again. Maybe that will solve the problem."

What happened to the all of the good chemistry puns?

The best chemistry puns argon.

My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid.

Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

I wanted to tell you a chemistry joke

but I didn't know how you would react

How often should you tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

I once made a chemistry joke....

It made no reaction.

I wanted to tell you a chemistry joke :)

But all the good ones argon.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chemistry chemistry lab jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chemistry chemistry love piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes