Chemistry Jokes

Following is our collection of nitrate puns and benzene one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Chemistry jokes for adults, dirty ammonia jokes and clean biology dad gags for kids.

The Best Chemistry Puns

It turns out my high school Chemistry teacher was right....

Alcohol IS a solution.

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?


Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon

I failed my chemistry lab exam.

I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

Don't drink water while studying...


Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.

Note: My first attempt. Thanks.

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.

His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.

The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.

I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression.

Then I realized alcohol is a solution.

Students are smart

Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No

Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?

Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.

My friends told me to stop making chemistry jokes, but then I told just one more

I got no reaction, and now all my friends Argon

My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients

I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.

For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid.

I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.

I'd like to apologize for all of my terrible chemistry jokes.

All of the good ones argon.

So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes.

I replied "Periodically"

In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl

- Mary, what is H2SO4?

- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.

Quickly, Johnny says:

- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!

Chemistry Jokes

Me :Is it a crime to throw Sodium Chloride at a woman?
Judge: Yes, that's assault
Me: I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

I was going to say a chemistry joke...

But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction.

They say alcohol isnt the answer.

But chemistry says it is a solution.

Chemistry joke about dry ice.

There are two guys: Bob and Steve. Bob is carving "Drink Coke" into a block of dry ice. Steve asks "why are you carving drink coke into that block of dry ice?" Bob replies "I just heard about this thing called subliminal advertising and I thought I would give it a try."

The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution.

I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.

Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting?

They didn't have any chemistry.

I blew up my chemistry experiment

Oxidants happen.

I know its old but I have not seen it on here
So, wanna hear a Chemistry Joke?

Nevermind, all the good ones Argon

Why did the physics teacher breakup with the biology teacher ?

There was no chemistry

Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab?

Because it will create pandamonium

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!

Edit 1 just thought of this.

What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?

Chemistry Joke!

Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.

The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."

"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.

"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.

Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line)

Enough to break the ice, how's it going?

Favorite lame chemistry joke

Argon walks into a bar, bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve noble gasses here".

Argon didn't react

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

Organic chemistry is difficult

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble

Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene?

Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D

I came up with this myself. I'm so proud.

I have so many Chemistry jokes to tell

I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction...

My friend asked me if I liked Chemistry jokes...

So I said "Sodium Hydrogen Bromine Oxygen"

My friend told me a chemistry joke

"Do you know any chemistry jokes?

I do but they're all boron."

I have to say, I slapped my neon that one.

Trying to think of a good chemistry pun

But all the good ones argon

The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge.

They only have periodic tables.

Chemistry Joke

This came to me while studying for an exam....

**What did Sodium say when Hypobromite said that it wanted to bond?**

Sodium said "NaBrO"

How often do you make chemistry jokes?


What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common?

Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.

Teacher and student

Chemistry teacher: Did you know protons have mass?

Student: 😳 I didn't even know they were catholics.

Once I told a Chemistry joke.

There was no Reaction.

The chemistry professor says to his students:

"There's deadly gas in this bottle. What steps do we take in case it breaks?"
"Fast steps"

I was going to make a chemistry joke...

but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction.

Two students became friends in chemistry class...

...It was a good bonding experience.

I told a chemistry joke the other day...

I thought it was good personally, but the reaction was disappointing!

So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class

Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her booty is sodium fine.

Chemistry Humor...

"What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214129×10^23 pieces?"


Chemistry Hotel

So I was driving down the road, getting pretty tired on my way home and saw a sign that said "Chemistry Hotel"

the sign said:

*"Cheap Day Rates, and Even Cheaper NO3-'s"*

When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience.

I said I was more of a cat person.

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO

Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.

Joke for chemistry nerds ;)

Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says:

-We don't serve noble gases here!

Argon doesn't react.

Chemistry teacher: can you give me the formula for water?

Student: h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-. Chemistry teacher: where did you get an idea like that? Student: you told us the other day it was h to o.

I tried to ask Google for some good chemistry jokes.

But it just kept returning "Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Oxygen Fluorine Fluorine."

I want to tell a good chemistry joke

But not sure if I would get a good reaction from it

If chemistry has taught me anything...

It's that alcohol is always a solution

Little Ahmed comes home from school.

His mother asks him:

"So what did you do in school today?"

"We were experimenting with explosives in chemistry class." replies Ahmed.

"What are you going to do in school tomorrow?"

"What school?"

A chemistry teacher is having problems with her desktop...

So she asks the class:
"How do I unfreeze my computer?"

After a few seconds, one student raises their hand and responds:
"What's the melting point?"

People tell me "Alcohol isn't a solution"

But why should I listen to someone who clearly flunked chemistry?

My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.

So I did.

1) Connery

2) Craig

3) Brosnan

4) Dalton

5) Lazenby

She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says to the bartender "I'll have a H20". The second one says "I'll have a H2O as well", making sure to not have his order confused with H2O2.

The second chemist died anyway, because the bartender was a chemistry student who had been waiting his whole life for this.

According to chemistry,

Alcohol is definately a solution.

Biology tell me you're 70% water. Physics tells me that you're 99.99% empty space. Chemistry tells me that you're 60% oxygen.

But I'm telling you that you're a 100% CUTIE!!!

Love is chemistry...

Sex is physics.


You know... I wanted to make a chemistry joke,but...
...I knew I wouldn't get a reaction.

Short Chemistry Joke For You All

What are the elements of life?

Lithium and Iron

If you're ever having trouble with Chemistry, just remember...

Bleach is a solution

I'd like to tell you guys a chemistry joke

But based on my experience so far in this sub, I'm sure I won't get any reaction

What do you do with a chemistry teacher when they die?

You barium

I was about to tell a hilarious joke about chemistry..

..but last time I did, I couldn't handle the reactions.

What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em?


Bumped into my old Chemistry teacher yesterday fact I knocked him right over.

You should have seen his reaction.

All the good chemistry puns...


Two scientists walk into a bar

The first orders some H2O, the second exclaims "I'll have some H2O too!

The bartender, deciding not to be a dinosaur hammer, gives the scientist water instead of showing off his chemistry skills, preventing the second scientist from dying.

Chemistry joke thread?

I'll start:
I was at -273.15°C one time. It was OK.
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium

I'm sorry guys there really are no good chemistry jokes: all the good ones argon.

What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ?


There is an abundance of neon jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 77 funniest jokes and chemistry puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any nacl witze you can hear about chemistry.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes