Chemistry Jokes

168 chemistry jokes and hilarious chemistry puns to laugh out loud. Read science jokes about chemistry that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Chemistry jokes are a form of humor that revolves around the concepts of chemistry, including molecules, atoms, elements, the periodic table, and bonds. These jokes often require some knowledge of chemistry to fully understand, which makes them popular among chemistry enthusiasts, students, scientists, and geeks with a love for science. The chemistry-themed jokes can be shared anywhere, anytime, but they are especially suitable at science parties, gatherings of chemistry students, or just casual chats between friends who share a love for chemistry. They add a fun and humorous twist to the often complex world of chemistry.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Chemistry Short Jokes

Short chemistry jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chemistry humour may include short chemical jokes also.

  1. My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
  2. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  3. I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
  4. How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ? Just ask them to read this word: unionized.
  5. Don't drink water while studying... Why?
    Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.
    Note: My first attempt. Thanks.
  6. A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
  7. I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution.
  8. My friends told me to stop making chemistry jokes, but then I told just one more I got no reaction, and now all my friends Argon
  9. My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.
  10. For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

Share These Chemistry Jokes With Friends

Chemistry One Liners

Which chemistry one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chemistry? I can suggest the ones about atomic and physics.

  1. It turns out my high school Chemistry teacher was right.... Alcohol IS a solution.
  2. I'd like to apologize for all of my terrible chemistry jokes. All of the good ones argon.
  3. So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes. I replied "Periodically"
  4. I was going to say a chemistry joke... But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction.
  5. How often are chemistry jokes posted to reddit? Periodically
  6. They say alcohol isnt the answer. But chemistry says it is a solution.
  7. I blew up my chemistry experiment Oxidants happen.
  8. Why did the physics teacher breakup with the biology teacher ? There was no chemistry
  9. Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab? Because it will create pandamonium
  10. Organic chemistry is difficult Those who study it have alkynes of trouble
  11. I have so many Chemistry jokes to tell I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction...
  12. Trying to think of a good chemistry pun But all the good ones argon
  13. How often do you make chemistry jokes? Periodically
  14. Once I told a Chemistry joke. There was no Reaction.
  15. Two students became friends in chemistry class... ...It was a good bonding experience.

Chemistry Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry teacher jokes and even better chemistry teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting? They didn't have any chemistry.
  • The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution. I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.
  • Teacher and student Chemistry teacher: Did you know protons have mass?
    Student: 😳 I didn't even know they were catholics.
  • As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door. He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!
  • Chemistry teacher: can you give me the formula for water? Student: h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-. Chemistry teacher: where did you get an idea like that? Student: you told us the other day it was h to o.
  • What does a chemistry teacher says when gold bar fells on his/her feet? Auuuuuuu!
  • I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied "Oh man, I slapped my neon that one"
  • My chemistry teacher exploded when he caught me goofing around in the lab I accidentally made nitroglycerin.
  • What did the Japanese chemistry teacher say when he mixed sodium and nitrogen? NaNi???
  • What do you do with a chemistry teacher when they die? You barium

Chemistry Physics Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry physics jokes and even better chemistry physics puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Biology tell me you're 70% water. Physics tells me that you're 99.99% empty space. Chemistry tells me that you're 60% oxygen. But I'm telling you that you're a 100% CUTIE!!!
  • Why did the biology teacher and rhe physics teacher break up? Because they had no CHEMISTRY.
  • Why don't biology and physics get on? They lack chemistry.
  • Why does Physics hate Biology? Because they have no Chemistry
  • Why do Physics and Biology teachers never get along? Because they have no chemistry
  • Why did the the chemistry teacher and the physics teacher break up? The chemistry teacher was abusive.
  • How physicists see other sciences: Biology: squishy physics
    Geology: slow physics
    Computer Science: virtual physics
    Psychology: people physics
    Chemistry: impure physics
    Math: physics minus the units
  • My male biology teacher was going out with my female physics teacher. He had the Biology
    She had the Physics
    Sadly, they split up. There wasn't any Chemistry between them.
  • Love is chemistry... s**... is physics.
  • Two quantum mechanics professors had s**... They must have had physical chemistry.
Chemistry joke, Two <a href="/quantum-jokes.html" title="Quantum jokes">quantum mechanics</a> professors had s**...

Chemistry Professor Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry professor jokes and even better chemistry professor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The chemistry professor says to his students: "There's deadly gas in this bottle. What steps do we take in case it breaks?"
    "Fast steps"
  • My Chemistry Professor told me that Hydrofluoric acid and Hydrochloric acid are the perfect buffer system. Her accusations are baseless.
  • My Chem professor said he'd give bonus points for the most original chemistry joke on the final, hit me with your best shot!
  • I complimented my chemistry professor, who's from Germany, "Sir, you're so effervescent." He replied, "Did you effer see me when I effer vasn't?"
  • A chemistry professor was arguing with his wife. He said, "Now see, If you are not a part of the solution then you are a part of the precipitate.
  • A German chemistry student holds up a small vial of HCn. The professor asks him if he's done with the lab.
    He says, "Yes, professor, this is my final solution."
  • What do you call a fat chemistry professor? A significant figure.
  • TIL that my chemistry professor is a z**... I walked in on him while he was in his lab

Chemistry Lab Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry lab jokes and even better chemistry lab puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person.
  • If you're not supposed to eat in a chemistry lab Then why do most of the elements end in yum?
  • I was in chemistry class with my lab partner... ...and asked him if he wanted some sodium bromide, but to my disappointment, he said
  • A chemistry lab is like a rave some drop acid and some drop base.
  • Why are chemistry labs a good workout? Because they make you Buffer.
  • Why did Dyslexic Noah dies in the chemistry lab? He thought that the bottle labels NaOH is his water bottle.
  • I was walking in a chemistry lab. I tripped on some acid.
  • What's the best type of table for a chemistry lab Holmes? Elementy, dear Watson.
  • Why Did Superman Save a Burning Chemistry Lab? He was trying to save Krypton
  • What makes Skrillex skillful at the chemistry lab? He rocks at *dropping the base.*

Chemistry Love Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry love jokes and even better chemistry love puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do people say love is like chemistry? Because you can put it in someones drink
  • I'd love to tell you a chemistry joke But I know I wouldn't get a reaction
    And all of the best jokes Argon
  • What's the worst thing you can say after someone says I love you? See ya in chemistry.
  • I finally found an unexpected love in chemistry class. Carbon-dating is totally worth it, guys.
  • If Love is like Chemistry. I am a noble gas.
  • I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
  • Chemistry One Liner I'd love to tell you a chemistry joke, but I heard they were argon.
    As seen on a bridge at my local university.
  • In a Dating Site profile: "Looking for love and chemistry." Doesn't quite have the same ring as: "Looking for h**... and drugs."
  • Love is a matter of chemistry, s**... is a matter of physics.
Chemistry joke

Cheerful Fun Chemistry Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about chemistry you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean biology jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chemistry pranks.

Joke for chemistry nerds ;)

Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says:
-We don't serve noble gases here!
Argon doesn't react.

What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em?


Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line)

Enough to break the ice, how's it going?

I know its old but I have not seen it on here
So, wanna hear a Chemistry Joke?

Nevermind, all the good ones Argon

Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until...

Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until he tries to explain the difference between molarity and molality...

Chemistry joke about dry ice.

There are two guys: Bob and Steve. Bob is carving "Drink Coke" into a block of dry ice. Steve asks "why are you carving drink coke into that block of dry ice?" Bob replies "I just heard about this thing called subliminal advertising and I thought I would give it a try."

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.
Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.
The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.
Chemistry puns Im in my element.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!
Edit 1 just thought of this.
What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?

What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ?


Chemistry Humor...

"What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214129×10^23 pieces?"

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

Chemistry Joke

This came to me while studying for an exam....
**What did Sodium say when Hypobromite said that it wanted to bond?**
Sodium said "NaBrO"

What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common?

Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO
Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.

Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene?

Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D
I came up with this myself. I'm so proud.

My friend asked me if I liked Chemistry jokes...

So I said "Sodium Hydrogen Bromine Oxygen"

Chemistry Hotel

So I was driving down the road, getting pretty tired on my way home and saw a sign that said "Chemistry Hotel"
the sign said:
*"Cheap Day Rates, and Even Cheaper NO3-'s"*

Johnny, Billy and Jimmy are discussing girls at their high school.

Johnny said, Mindy Carlson let me kiss her in the playground after Math—she's one of the greats.
That's nothing, said Billy, Madison let me kiss her with tongues in the gym after Chemistry—she's a Hall-of-Fame-girl.
Little Jimmy just shook his head. You know Becca Sampson? She'll go down in history.

Chemistry joke thread?

I'll start:
I was at -273.15°C one time. It was OK.
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium
I'm sorry guys there really are no good chemistry jokes: all the good ones argon.

I was going to make a chemistry joke...

but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction.

I was about to tell a hilarious joke about chemistry..

..but last time I did, I couldn't handle the reactions.

A chemistry teacher is having problems with her desktop...

So she asks the class:
"How do I unfreeze my computer?"
After a few seconds, one student raises their hand and responds:
"What's the melting point?"

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first orders some H2O, the second exclaims "I'll have some H2O too!
The bartender, deciding not to be a dinosaur hammer, gives the scientist water instead of showing off his chemistry skills, preventing the second scientist from dying.

Chemistry Joke!

Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.
The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."
"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.
"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.

So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class

Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her b**... is sodium fine.

I'd like to tell you guys a chemistry joke

But based on my experience so far in this sub, I'm sure I won't get any reaction


You know... I wanted to make a chemistry joke,but...
...I knew I wouldn't get a reaction.

If you're ever having trouble with Chemistry, just remember...

Bleach is a solution

My friend told me a chemistry joke

"Do you know any chemistry jokes?
I do but they're all boron."
I have to say, I slapped my neon that one.

Little Ahmed comes home from school.

His mother asks him:
"So what did you do in school today?"
"We were experimenting with explosives in chemistry class." replies Ahmed.
"What are you going to do in school tomorrow?"
"What school?"

The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge.

They only have periodic tables.

In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl

- Mary, what is H2SO4?
- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.
Quickly, Johnny says:
- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!

According to chemistry,

Alcohol is definately a solution.

Students are smart

Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.

Favorite lame chemistry joke

Argon walks into a bar, bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve noble gasses here".
Argon didn't react

I tried to ask Google for some good chemistry jokes.

But it just kept returning "Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Oxygen Fluorine Fluorine."

I told a chemistry joke the other day...

I thought it was good personally, but the reaction was disappointing!

If chemistry has taught me anything...

It's that alcohol is always a solution

My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.
So I did.
1) Connery
2) Craig
3) Brosnan
4) Dalton
5) Lazenby
She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.

His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.
The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.

People tell me "Alcohol isn't a solution"

But why should I listen to someone who clearly flunked chemistry?

Chemistry Jokes

Me :Is it a crime to throw Sodium Chloride at a woman?
Judge: Yes, that's assault
Me: I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says to the bartender "I'll have a H20". The second one says "I'll have a H2O as well", making sure to not have his order confused with H2O2.

The second chemist died anyway, because the bartender was a chemistry student who had been waiting his whole life for this.

I want to tell a good chemistry joke

But not sure if I would get a good reaction from it

Bumped into my old Chemistry teacher yesterday fact I knocked him right over.
You should have seen his reaction.

For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid.

I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.

Short Chemistry Joke For You All

What are the elements of life?

Lithium and Iron

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.


A chemist walks into a pharmacy...

With a pained expression the chemist asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalicylic acid.
The pharmacist looks confused as he asks, "You mean aspirin?"
The chemist, still in pain replies with exasperation, "Yes! I can never remember that word." (Credit to Mr. Wilgus, my high school chemistry teacher 43 years ago.)
[edit for formatting]

I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake

We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."

The cake burst into tiers.

Chemistry joke, I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake

jokes about chemistry