The Best 75 Chemical Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chemical jokes. There are some chemical neon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chemical my chemical romance puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Chemical Jokes and Puns

A man walks into...

A chemical store and asks the man there for some noble gas.

The man replies "sorry, we don't have Ne"

Four engineers in a car...

Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."

After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"

I'm inventing a glue and calling it James Bond...

It's a chemical agent.

Chemists in a pub

After a long day, two chemists, Bill and Bob, go to a pub to unwind. Bob says to the barkeeper, "I'll just have a glass of H^2 0." Bill chimes in, "I'll have a glass of water too". They take a seat as he asks Bob, "Why did you refer to water with its chemical composition?" Bob did not answer, fuming that his assassination attempt had failed.

jokes about chemical

Our baby's new nickname is Assad...

..because he keeps assaulting us with gas that is definitely in violation of the Chemical Weapons Convention.


In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was Well, I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step .

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says, "I'll have some H20."

The second scientist says, "I'll have a glass of water, too, Wh.. why did you say H20? Like, I know it's the chemical formula for water and all. but it's the end of the day and there's really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work."

The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.

Chemical joke, Two scientists walk into a bar

North Korean joke

A: There is a new power plant in Hamheung-si.

B: No, I'm just coming back from there, but I didn't see a power plant.

A: And there is a new chemical factory in Kimjeongsuk-gun.

B: I was there a week ago but I didn't see any factory...

A: Comrade! Stop running around and read the newspaper once in a while.

A software engineer, a chemical engineer and a mechanical engineer were riding along in a car.....

suddenly the car stopped. The mechanical engineer said "it must be a problem with the motor", the chemical engineer said "no it's most likely a fuel problem", then the software engineer said "maybe if we all get out, then get back in, it will start"

The Chemical Formula For Water

Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Student: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "What are you talking about?"
Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

Three engineers were driving down the road.

An electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. (Shut up, just go with it). Suddenly their car sputters to a halt.

The electrical engineer says it has to be a problem with the electric system.

The chemical engineer thinks it's a problem in the fuel system.

Then they both look at the Windows engineer... He just says, "Perhaps we should all get out and back in again"

You can explore chemical sulfur reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chemical carbon dad jokes. There are also chemical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What is the chemical formula of coffee?

Cobalt(II) Ferride

(CoFe2)

Little Johnny was in School

When the teacher asked the class "What is the chemical formula for Water?"
Johnny raised his hands and shouts "H I J K L M N O"
The teacher looks confused and asked Johnny if he was even listening in last weeks class.
Johnny Replied "Well you told us it was H to O last week"

Should I try an experiment with a dangerous chemical?

NaH,NO

How do you tell the difference between a Computer Scientist, a Computer Engineer, and a Chemical Engineer?

Ask them what PCB means.

Can Neon form a chemical bond with Indium?

NeIn.

Chemical joke, Can Neon form a chemical bond with Indium?

iPod Shuffle

Today, I was playing my iPod on shuffle. The song, "This is Not the End" by The Bravery came on. The next song was "This is the End" by She Wants Revenge. It was followed by "The End." by My Chemical Romance. As soon as the songs finished, the battery promptly died. I think my iPod left a suicide note.

Four Engineers get into a car.

The car won't start.

The mechanical engineer says: "There must be a problem with the gear box."

The electrical engineer says: "It must have a broken starter."

The chemical engineer says: "There must be something wrong with the fuel"

The IT engineer says: "Hey, let's all get out of the car and get back in."

A chemist and his friend go to lunch. When asked what they want to drink,the chemist says, "I'll have some H2O." His friend says "I'll have some H2O too"

When they get their drinks, they both are fine because the waiter is a sensible person who is able to distinguish the difference between the chemical compound H2O2, hydrogen peroxide, and asking to have water, like his friend.


I failed my chemistry lab exam.

I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.

Four engineers riding in a car -

it stalls. Mechanical engineer suggests a timing problem. Electrical engineer says bad spark. Chemical engineer offers poor fuel mixture. The computer engineer has no idea but "If we get out the car and get back in it may start

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye

Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.

What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band?

My Chemical Romance

What's a cow's favorite chemical?

molybdenum monoxide

MoO

I asked a guy if he knew what the chemical formula was for Sodium Bromate...

He said NaBrO3

A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water

Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water?

Me: HIJKLMNO

Teacher: What are you even saying?!

Me: You told us it was H to O!

Chemical joke, A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water

What is the legendary chemical?

HO-OH (Hydrogen Peroxide)

A car with 3 engineers and 1 computer scientist stalls on the freeway...

The mechanical engineer says: "lets check the carborator, it's probably the carborator"
The chemical engineer says: "its most likely the gas line, lets check that"
The electrical engineer says: "no, it has to be the car's circuts"
The computer scientist thinks for a minute and says: "lets all get out of the car and get back in"

What's the chemical formula for water?

A teacher goes up to a student and asks, "What's the chemical formula for water?"

The student goes, "HIJKLMNO."

Teacher: "What are you talking about?"

Student: "Last class you said it was H to O!"


2 scientists walk into a bar

the first one says: IΒ΄ll have a glass of H2O...

the second one says: iΒ΄ll have a glass of water too.... Wh... why did you say H2O ? Is there any reason to use the chemical formular outside the lab ?Doesn`t this just over-complicate things for no reason ? I really donΒ΄t think that was very smart...

the first scientists stares at his drink, angry, that his assassination plan has failed...

What was Stalin's favorite chemical equation?

HAmAr + SiCl

What are the chemicals in a midget's body that make them happy?

En-dwarf-ins

I'm a Chemical Engineer and I have some good Chemistry jokes.

... but I never get a good reaction.

Using chemicals to remove polish is fine...

But use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're suddenly Hitler!


What is Bashar al-Assad's favorite band?

My Chemical Romance.

Where do chemicals come from?

The chemistree.

yeah i wanna die

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first one says "I'll have some H2O"
The second one says "I'll have some water too, but you do realise you don't have to use the chemical term outside if the lab, right?"
The first scientist excuses himself to the bathroom, where he cries for a good give minutes, saddened because his murder plan failed

Me and my friend robbed a chemical plant last night.

We stole all their Alkaline.
Now all their base are belong to us.

Four engineers get into a car.. The car won't start

The Mechanical engineer says: "It's a broken starter".

The Electrical engineer says: "Dead battery".

The Chemical engineer says: "Impurities in the gasoline".

The IT engineer says: "Hey guys, I have an idea how about we all get out of the car and get back in".

Johnny? What is the chemical formula for water? The teacher ask.

Johnny: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O

Teacher : Well, no! Where did you get that from?

Johnny: Yesterday you said it was H to O

My brother was doing his homework when he asked me: What's the chemical formula for water? I said: HIJKLMNO he said: what are you talking about?

I said: well it's H to O

So I Submitted an Article to the School Newspaper

The article was written on the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. The article ended up being brought to the attention of the administrators. After about a month, the administration closed down the school due to "chemical risks." When the school reopened, it was disconnected from all water lines.

Teacher asks Little Johnny A Question..

Teacher: "OK class, who will give me the chemical formula for water?"

Johnny: "HIJKLMNO."

Teacher: "What on earth are you on about?"

Johnny: "Well you said yourself yesterday it was H to O!"

My friends all call me a chick magnet.

However due to my lack of ferromagnetic material in my chemical makeup I can can't seem to think of what repels all these girls.

What's the difference between a deadly chemical plant and a Syrian school yard?

I don't know, they just have me fly the drone

What is satan's favourite chemical?

Carbon. because it has 6 protons 6 neutrons and 6 electrons

What do you get when you cross Russian literature with balanced chemical equations?

Tolstoichiometry

What is the chemical formula of water?

The teacher asked.
Bob answered "H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O".
Teacher: "What is this?!"
Bob: "well you said H2O?"

What is the chemical formula for Holy Water?

H2OMG

During an exam, a student pokes the guy next to him and whispers, "pssst... is C the chemical symbol for chlorine?"

He whispers back, "Na, Cl you idiot!".

"OK thanks..." replies the student, "but why so salty?"

A teacher ask one of her students about chemical formula for water.

TEACHER : "Brandon, what is the chemical formula for water?"

Brandon : "HIJKLMNO"

TEACHER : "What are u talking about?!"

Brandon : "Yesterday you said it's H to O"

Why do hypochondriacs make for good chemical catalysts?

They overreact to all external stimuli!

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?

Johnny: H I J K L M N O

Teacher: Excuse me?

Johnny: Yesterday, you said it's H to O.

4 engineers repairing a car

*there are 4 engineers in a car but it doesn't start*

Mechanical engineer: the spark plug must be broken

Chemical engineer: there must be impurities in the gas

Electrical engineer: the contact must be broken

Computer engineer: what if we exit and enter the car another time?

What chemicals are best for keeping men away?

Deter-gents.

I wrote down on a piece of paper several books I wanted to read about substances that speed up chemical reactions, and told my kitten to go out and get them for me.



I gave my catalyst.

They say you can't reverse a chemical reaction

But the more bread I eat, the doughier I become.

engineers

4 engineers are traveling down a road when suddenly the car comes to a stop

The electrical engineer says "the battery died"

The chemical engineer says "we ran out of fuel"

The civil engineer says "the road shredded the tires"

The computer engineer says "why don't we get out of the car and then back in?"

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says I'll take a glass of H2O. The second says I'll take a glass of H2O too.

*Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water.*Β 

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a chemical factory worker?

Write down the word *'unionized'* and ask them to pronounce it.

A woman walks into a dry cleaners....

She says to the guy at the counter "Hopefully you have the expertise to apply a suitable chemical procedure to eliminate this unsightly blemish from my favourite frock."

He says, "Come again?"

She says, "No, it's mayonnaise this time."

By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

Formula for water

Chemical formula for water

The teacher asked, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
A student raises his hand and answers, "HIJKLMNO!"
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on earth are you talking about?"
Student answers, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?

Me: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Me: Yesterday you said it's H to O

Wet joke

It was chemistry class and the teacher asks-

"Can anyone tell me the chemical formula of water?"

Little Timmy raises hand.

"Yes, Timmy?"





"Hijklmno"

What's the chemical structure of Holy Water?

H2OMG

What chemical is released in your brain when you see something funny on the internet?

Dopameme

What's the difference between a pipe fitter and a chemical engineer?

They way they pronounce unionized.

Engineers

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down. The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas." The electrical engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The computer engineer said, "I think we should all get out and then get back in."

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start.

Mechanical engineer: it's a broken starter.

Electrical engineer: dead battery.

Chemical engineer: impurities in the gasoline.

IT engineer: hey guys, I have an idea how about we all get out of the car and get back in.

Medical science has come a long way.

There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the foreskin from new born males and create eyelids for those born without them. The procedure has been highly successful, although the children do look a little cockeyed.

How do chemical compounds cry?

They break down

What's seafarer's favorite chemical equation?

.

NaCl(aq) + NaCl(aq)
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
. C^7


~~ Saline, saline, over the seven seas ~~

Paddy goes for a job at a chemical factory.

Factory Manager: "Have you worked with chemicals before?"

Paddy: "Yes!"

Factory Manager: "Can you tell me what nitrate is?"

Paddy: "I'm hoping it is going to be Time and Half."

Four engineers get into a car.

Four engineers get into a car. the car won't start.

The mechanical engineer says :

"its a broken starter"

The electrical engineer :

"dead battery"

The chemical engineer:

"impurities in the gasoline"

The IT engineer:

"Hey guys , i have an idea how about we all get out of the car and get back in".

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chemical chemical equation puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chemical chemical reaction piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes