Chelsea Jokes
32 chelsea jokes and hilarious chelsea puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chelsea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are Chelsea Football Club jokes funnier than those about other teams? Read this article to find out about some of the most hilarious Arsenal, Christie, and Leaker jokes involving Chelsea FC and check out the best Chelsea Handler jokes. Learn about the name and the kitman, physio, and Russian connections of Chelsea and find out which jokes always make people chuckle!
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Funniest Chelsea Short Jokes
Short chelsea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chelsea humour may include short arsenal jokes also.
- What's the difference between Mia Khalifa and Chelsea? mia Khalifa can handle 10 men at home.
- What do the ministry of magic and Chelsea fc fans have in common? They both find potter undesirable.
- From 2004-2015, Chelsea FC had the best goalkeeper in the world On second thought, Petr Cech that one
- The government have announced new measures to stop migrants from getting into England Henceforth, Chelsea fans will be in charge of security at Calais.
- Chelsea Clinton is so patriotic That she wore George Washington's wooden teeth for her speech last night
- With the transfer window now closed.... Chelsea signed Drinkwater whilst Everton signed drink driver.
- Barcelona FC, Chelsea FC, and Bayern Walk in a bar.... And at the end of the night, no one scores!
- Did Torres play for every other EPL club before Chelsea ? .... Because he never celebrated scoring a goal.
- Did you hear about what the military did whey they found out Chelsea Manning was the leaker? They tore her a new one.
- The manager for Chelsea FC swapped their defender for another one. The opponent scored 2 goals back to back straight after. "Oops, wrong sub.", said the manager.
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Chelsea One Liners
Which chelsea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chelsea? I can suggest the ones about strangle and salute.
- Why doesn't Chelsea Clinton have a brother or sister? Monica Lewinsky swallowed them.
- What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton
- Yesterday a Chelsea player refused to be subbed... Guess he's a Kepa
- What do you say when you see a Chelsea winger strangling someone? Choking Hazard
- Chelsea FC captain had a night to forget, his performance was Terryble
- Jenn and Jessica invite Chelsea out for lunch...
- What do you get when 42 goes into 45? Chelsea.
- Did you hear about the Chelsea team without a player? No Mata!!
- New info regarding the Chelsea e**... somebody dropped their Samsung 7
Chelsea Clinton Jokes
Here is a list of funny chelsea clinton jokes and even better chelsea clinton puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them. - Why was Chelsea Clinton an only child? Because Monica Lewinsky swallowed all her siblings.
- Why does Chelsea Clinton look up whenever she thinks about her father? That's where the Hubbell is.
- So Hillary Clinton decides to have the talk with Chelsea. She asks if Chelsea is s**... active yet to which Chelsea replies, "Not according to Dad."
Comical & Quirky Chelsea Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about chelsea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chelsea pranks.
Bill Clinton steps off of a helicopter onto the White House lawn
He's carrying a pig under each arm. A marine who's there to greet him says, "Nice pigs, sir!" Clinton responds, "Thank you! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." The marine replies, "Nice trade, sir!"
Nice pigs sir
A Secret Service agent is standing at the bottom of the stairs as President Clinton is leaving Air Force One, and can't help but notice that the President has a pig under each arm.
The Agent salutes and says, "Welcome back, Mr. President. Nice pigs, sir."
Clinton smiles and says, "These aren't pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got this one for Hillary, and I got this one for Chelsea."
The Agent says, "Good trade, sir."
Late Night Political Jokes
"Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 68 today. When asked what her favorite gift was, she said, 'Donald Trump.'" Jimmy Fallon
"They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'" David Letterman
"Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote." Seth Meyers
President Clinton shows up to Air Force One
President Clinton shows up to Air Force One with a pig under each arm.
The Marine sergeant, salutes him and shouts: "Nice pigs, sir"
Clinton looks at him and says: "I'll have you know these are genuine Arkansas razorbacks! I got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. What do you think about that?"
The sergeant salutes again and shouts: "Nice trade, sir."
Back in 1998, Chelsea Clinton was in high school and went out on a date one night.
Hillary set an 11pm curfew, but Chelsea didn't return to the White House until after midnight.
Hillary had waited up, and grilled her daughter over being late.
Her last question: You didn't have s**... with that boy, did you?
Chelsea: Not according to Dad.
