Chef Jokes
156 chef jokes and hilarious chef puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about chef that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of chef jokes. From cooking puns to funny one-liners, we've got something for everyone. So whether you're a budding chef or a seasoned pro, we're sure you'll find something to make you smile.
Quick Jump To
- Short Chef Jokes
- Chef One Liners
- Italian Chef Jokes
- Pastry Chef Jokes
- Sous Chef Jokes
- Swedish Chef Jokes
- More Chef Jokes
Funniest Chef Short Jokes
Short chef jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chef humour may include short cook jokes also.
- I just fired my sioux chef because I found out he lied on his resume. Turns out he's navajo.
- I'm thinking about opening up a swedish restaurant but my chef isn't actually Swedish Do you think anyone will notice I'm using an artificial Swedener on my food?
- What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef? "Oh no! I've made a huge MooseSteak!"
- I used to be on of those chefs who shouts and swears a lot But then I discovered oven mitts
- I was watching Australian Master Chef last night... Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered...
I thought... That's odd, normaly in Australia they boo meringue - A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please. There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slice.
- A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested. He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.
- A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant The man says to the chef:
"Gee, this steak is rubbery!" And the chef replies "thank you very much!" - Why did the accordion player become a chef? He knew how to whip up a great melody and mix it with harmony.
- What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded? What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?
Looks like we have debris all over the place
Share These Chef Jokes With Friends
Chef One Liners
Which chef one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chef? I can suggest the ones about restaurant and oven.
- I asked a chef if he ever served a steak raw.. He said yeah but it's rare.
- Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost his huile d'olive
- What is a chef's favorite gun? A-salt-rifle
I'll show myself out - What do you call the salad of an epileptic chef? A seizure salad.
- Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work? Little seizures
- Did you hear about the depressed French chef? He'd lost the huile d'olive.
- A world renowned chef undercooked the meat It was a rare misteak
- How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month? He started a swear jar.
- Who was the Pharaoh's favourite chef? Gordon Ramesses
- Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant? He got crêped out.
- Why did the solstice become a chef? It loved "cooking" in the heat!
- Have you heard about the Italian chef? He pasta way
- The dumpling chef always delivers, he’s truly aww-some.
- What is the sushi chef's dream car? rolls rice
- Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant? Because the steaks were too high.
Italian Chef Jokes
Here is a list of funny italian chef jokes and even better italian chef puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a Jedi Italian pastry chef? Obi Wan Cannoli
- Why wouldn't the Italian chef's car start? Because he had gnocchis.
- How did the Italian chef die? He past-a-way
- Italian Chefs can now get an exclusive software update for their Tesla It's been named Carpatchio
- What's an Italian chef's favorite speech? Spaghettysburg address.
- Sad news about the chef at my favorite Italian restaurant A doctor cannoli do so much and unfortunately he pasta way.
- Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way
- Did you hear about the Italian chef that was in a car accident? He pasta way
- An italian pastry chef was injured at work this friday We Cannoli hope he makes a full recovery.
- Why was the Italian chef locked out of his house? Because he had gnocchi.
Pastry Chef Jokes
Here is a list of funny pastry chef jokes and even better pastry chef puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call an eerie French pastry chef? A crepe.
- Why am I scared of french pastry chefs? They give me the crepes.
- How did the pastry chef do on the donut-making exam? She passed with frying crullers.
- Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? He'll dessert you!
- What's the difference between a belly dancer and an incompetent pastry chef? One shakes body parts and the other bakes shoddy tarts.
- If a chocolatier and a pastry chef have a child together, will they also make delicious food? Not Nestle Sara Lee
- What do you call a deep thinking pastry chef? A filosopher.
- Why did the captain execute the pastry chef? Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.
- They call me the Pastry Chef Because all your mothers came to get cream pies from me.
- What does the apathetic pastry Chef say? I doughnut care.
Sous Chef Jokes
Here is a list of funny sous chef jokes and even better sous chef puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a chef who's also a lawyer? A sous chef
- Did you hear about the assistant chef that got fired from the restaurant? He tried to sous.
- What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a cook? A sous chef
- Why can't sous chefs get girls? They're all beta cooks.
- Do you know what they say about sous chefs? They can dish it, but they can't take it.
- Why was Buddha a terrible sous chef? He spent too long contempt plating inert peas
- What do you call a Japanese female Sous chef? A Sous She Chef
- What's a lawyers favorite type of chef? A Sous Chef!
- What do you call the practitioner of a restaurant that aggressively goes after customers who leave bad Yelp reviews? The sous-chef.
- How does the sous chef set a baby on fire? Flambéby
Swedish Chef Jokes
Here is a list of funny swedish chef jokes and even better swedish chef puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant? Abort - Bort - Bort!
- What's Swedish Chef's evil twin's name? Swedish Jeff
- What are the Swedish Chef's two favorite singers? Fergie Fergie Fergie , Bjork Bjork Bjork...
- What is Swedish Chef's, from the muppets, favorite song? Bork, bork, bork, bork, bork, bork
You see me I be bork, bork, bork, bork. - (Utterly awful joke ahead) What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef? A borkmark.
- What did the Swedish chef use to spice up his sandwich? Norseradish.
- hi What did the failed Swedish chef say? All that hard Bork and nothing to show for it .
Witty Chef Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about chef you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean maker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chef pranks.
How does a chef get to work?
He woks.
Little Boy Prayer
A little boy was eating in a restaurant for his birthday, when he started eating without a prayer. His parents turn to him and say, we say a prayer before eating in our house! The little boy replies, yeah, that's in our house but here the chef knows how to cook!"
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking
To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.
Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?
He was making up for lost thyme.
Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.
*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*
A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth
The result was soup rising
Why could the chef not cook a tree branch?
Because he used a non-stick pan.
What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day?
A hug and a little quiche.
Greatest situational joke I've ever told...
A girl I know was talking about how her white mum was an Indian chef, which my other friend couldn't quite grasp and said "How can your mum be an Indian chef if she's not Indian?"
I replied "You can be a pizza chef and not be a pizza".
Had a couple people in tears saying that so I thought I'd share it, might have been a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment.
What's worse than finding hair in your food?
Finding out the chef is bald.
A recently married couple...
A recently married couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. When the food was served, the husband said, "The food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: "Honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home. Won't you do that here?"
Husband: "That's at home sweetheart. Here the chef knows how to cook."
how many chefs does it take to change a,light bulb ?
one to do it, and five others to tell him how they did it differently in their last kitchen.
Why was the chef fired?
He was caught stroganoff
Just been sacked from my job as a chef for stealing
I've always been a whisk taker.
What did the Native American do after culinary school?
He became a Souix chef.
What do you call a mentally r**... chef?
A slow cooker
Why did the French chef commit s**...?
he lost his huile d'olive
What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?
"Well, this was a waste of Thyme."
Why did the french chef go to the police?
Escargot stolen.
How do you know the Japanese mass m**... was a chef?
He spent his day cutting up vegetables
A man's car breaks down outside a monastery.
The monks take him in and give him dinner--a fantastic dinner, of fish & chips. Best fish & chips he's ever had.
So he goes into the kitchen to compliment the chef. He says to one brother, "Excuse me, are you the fish friar?"
"No," he answers. "I'm the chip monk."
What is a chefs weapon of choice?
A salt rifle
A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, "How does the chef prepare the chicken?"
The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"
Couple in a Restaurant – Joke
Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…
As the food was served, Husband said:
The Food looks delicious, let's eat.
Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.
A chef, a clockmaker, and a thief walk into a bar, but the bartender says he doesn't get the joke.
They all say, "It's okay, these things take thyme."
Who is second in command in the kitchen at a Native American owned restaurant?
The Sioux chef
Did you hear about the italian chef that died?
He pasta away
We cannoli do so much,
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today gone tomato.
How sad he ran out of thyme,
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset, Cheese still not over it.
You never saussage a tragic thing.
Because
some people just want to watch the world burn!
A couple go to a restaurant...
And when their food arrives, the husband says
"Wow, this looks great! Let's dig in!"
Without another word, he starts devouring his plate. Meanwhile his wife glares disapprovingly at him.
"At Home, you *always* say grace"
Swallowing, the husband replies.
"Honey, that's at home. Here, the chef actually knows how to cook"
Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?
He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.
What do you call a chef with one eye?
Chief
A chef lost one of his legs in a kitchen accident...
... now all he cooks is Lean Cuisine.
What did Bob Marley say to the chef?
What Jamaican?
The husband and the wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant
A few minutes later, the dinner was served.
Husband: The food looks great. Let's eat.
Wife: But honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home, sweetie. I'm sure the chef here knows how to cook.
A man and a woman are in a restaurant...
When their food arrives, the man exclaims Well this looks delicious! Let's eat
But don't we have to say prayer first? Says the woman
Honey, we do that at home. Here the chef knows how to cook
I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs
Wrong plaice, wrong thyme
What do you call an Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Did you hear about the Italian Chef?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. He was a real pizza work. You never sausage a guy. Sad about his brother, the broadway actor, in jail because he tried to rigatoni. His friend, the french chef, didn't make it to work- he couldn't make the escargot.
I work in a restaurant that only serves cannibals.
I'm head chef.
So j made a joke up
A master chef dies goes to heaven. Immediatly he finds himself in the kitchen doing what he loves. He begins cooking all the foood just like he did when he was alive. Finally he gets a strange order, a steak well done sprinkled with holy water. So he asks whats up with this order.
For Christs steak Micheal.
Did you hear about the Boston chef who died?
They could not find the sauce of his illness
A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.
They walk in and, being that he doesn't have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.
That's disgusting! o**... says to the other.
Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!
How many chefs does it take to stuff a turkey?
One, but you really have to cram him in there.
I called a Chinese restaurant,
the man replied " Hello, I am Wan King the chef."
I replied "It's OK, I'll call you later."
I used to know an Italian chef.
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.
I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.
it was a farfalle from grace.
What did the French chef say when he was sick and tired of misplacing his olive oil?
"I'm losing my huile d'olive."
Dad Joke
My dad - who was a chef - always referred to the cheese knife as "the lesser implement". Once I was going to ask him "Dad, what's the greater implement?" but I just stopped myself in time.
I wanted to be a chef.
I figured it would add some spice to my life.
This is a portuguese joke so idk how well it will be in English but...
A man orders rice and beans in a restaurant. When his meal comes he notices a little fiber in his food and tells the waiter. The waiter then explains theres nothing to worry about, its just from the sack of beans. However the man still insists on getting another plate. The waiter, complying, yells out to the chef "yo beans, make another plate".
My best friend was a chef. He called last week to say that he found a hidden message in his herb and spice rack. He was quite paranoid and later that day he was found dead.
I should have believed him when he said his Thyme was running out.
My fortune teller is such a fraud, said my dad would live a long life but he died at 51
I wish my dad could live longer like our chef who completed 73 years yesterday.
The head cook was also a proud linguist. He boasted to his team that he'd finally figured out that champagne and sugar are the only words that sound like "sh" without starting with "sh".
The assistant hesitated for a moment then replied-
.
.
.
"Chef! Are you sure?"
How did the pasta chef get locked out of his house?
He came home from work with gnocchi.
A chef asks an employee to grab him some cilantro
He quickly grabs the herb and returns to his boss. When he returns the chef is busy doing something and can't take the cilantro right away.
Give me a second, he says
Take your time, the employee responds patiently.
The chef snaps back I told you to give me a second! Also I asked for cilantro!
Did you hear about the Asian cuisine chef that dropped a dumpling on the floor?
He was charged with wonton endangerment.
I put my blood, sweat, and tears into my work, and this is the thanks I get.
The restaurant is not pressing charges but I'll be lucky to find work as a chef again.
A man goes to a restaurant and has the most delicious turkey he's ever tasted...
He asks the chef, "How do you prepare the turkeys?"
The chef replies, "Oh, nothing special, we just tell them they're gonna die."
Why was the French chef contemplating s**...?
Because he'd lost the *huile d'olive.*
What does an upset chef make food with?
Angrydients.
A panda walks into a restaurant
A panda walks into a restaurant. He is shown to his seat and orders some food. When he is done eating, he pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. The chef runs out of the kitchen and asks the panda "what did you do!?!?" The panda responds, "I'm a panda, look it up" and walks away. the chef looks on his phone and looks up panda. The first result says "pandas eat shoots and leaves"
What do you call the leader of Amazon Cooking?
Chef Bezos.
You hear about the chef who died
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. His wife is really upset cheese still not over it.
me: onion rings and a bottle of wine for the table
**waiter:** white or red?
**me, trying to impress my date:** whichever onion the chef prefers
