The Best 85 Chef Jokes

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of chef jokes. From cooking puns to funny one-liners, we've got something for everyone. So whether you're a budding chef or a seasoned pro, we're sure you'll find something to make you smile.

Top 10 Funniest Chef Jokes and Puns

How does a chef get to work?

He woks.

Little Boy Prayer

A little boy was eating in a restaurant for his birthday, when he started eating without a prayer. His parents turn to him and say, we say a prayer before eating in our house! The little boy replies, yeah, that's in our house but here the chef knows how to cook!"

What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef?

"Oh no! I've made a huge MooseSteak!"

An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking

To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.

Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.

The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.

The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.

jokes about chef

Have you heard about the Italian chef?

He pasta way

Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?

He got crΓͺped out.

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.

Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

Chef joke, Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

Why could the chef not cook a tree branch?

Because he used a non-stick pan.

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

Looks like we have debris all over the place

What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day?

A hug and a little quiche.

Greatest situational joke I've ever told...

A girl I know was talking about how her white mum was an Indian chef, which my other friend couldn't quite grasp and said "How can your mum be an Indian chef if she's not Indian?"

I replied "You can be a pizza chef and not be a pizza".

Had a couple people in tears saying that so I thought I'd share it, might have been a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment.

You can explore chef kitchen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chef chef hat dad jokes. There are also chef puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant?

Because the steaks were too high.

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

A recently married couple...

A recently married couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. When the food was served, the husband said, "The food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: "Honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home. Won't you do that here?"

Husband: "That's at home sweetheart. Here the chef knows how to cook."

how many chefs does it take to change a,light bulb ?

one to do it, and five others to tell him how they did it differently in their last kitchen.

Why was the chef fired?

He was caught stroganoff

Chef joke, Why was the chef fired?

Just been sacked from my job as a chef for stealing

I've always been a whisk taker.

Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work?

Little seizures

A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant

The man says to the chef:
"Gee, this steak is rubbery!" And the chef replies "thank you very much!"

What do you call a mentally retarded chef?

A slow cooker

A world renowned chef undercooked the meat

It was a rare misteak

Why did the French chef commit suicide?

he lost his huile d'olive

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

"Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

Why did the french chef go to the police?

Escargot stolen.

How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef?

He spent his day cutting up vegetables

What do you call an eerie French pastry chef?

A crepe.

Chef joke, What do you call an eerie French pastry chef?

A man's car breaks down outside a monastery.

The monks take him in and give him dinner--a fantastic dinner, of fish & chips. Best fish & chips he's ever had.

So he goes into the kitchen to compliment the chef. He says to one brother, "Excuse me, are you the fish friar?"

"No," he answers. "I'm the chip monk."

What is a chefs weapon of choice?

A salt rifle

A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, "How does the chef prepare the chicken?"

The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"

Couple in a Restaurant – Joke

Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…

As the food was served, Husband said:
The Food looks delicious, let's eat.

Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.

A chef, a clockmaker, and a thief walk into a bar, but the bartender says he doesn't get the joke.

They all say, "It's okay, these things take thyme."

Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta away
We cannoli do so much,
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today gone tomato.
How sad he ran out of thyme,
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset, Cheese still not over it.
You never saussage a tragic thing.
some people just want to watch the world burn!

A couple go to a restaurant...

And when their food arrives, the husband says

"Wow, this looks great! Let's dig in!"

Without another word, he starts devouring his plate. Meanwhile his wife glares disapprovingly at him.

"At Home, you *always* say grace"

Swallowing, the husband replies.

"Honey, that's at home. Here, the chef actually knows how to cook"

Why did the French chef kill himself?

He lost his huile d'olive

What do you call the salad of an epileptic chef?

A seizure salad.

How did the Italian chef die?

He past-a-way

Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?

He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.

What do you call a chef with one eye?


Who was the Pharaoh's favourite chef?

Gordon Ramesses

A chef lost one of his legs in a kitchen accident...

... now all he cooks is Lean Cuisine.

What did Bob Marley say to the chef?

What Jamaican?

The husband and the wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant

A few minutes later, the dinner was served.

Husband: The food looks great. Let's eat.

Wife: But honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home.

Husband: That's at home, sweetie. I'm sure the chef here knows how to cook.

A man and a woman are in a restaurant...

When their food arrives, the man exclaims Well this looks delicious! Let's eat

But don't we have to say prayer first? Says the woman

Honey, we do that at home. Here the chef knows how to cook

I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs

Wrong plaice, wrong thyme

What do you call an Egyptian chef?

Gordon Ramses.

Did you hear about the Italian Chef?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. He was a real pizza work. You never sausage a guy. Sad about his brother, the broadway actor, in jail because he tried to rigatoni. His friend, the french chef, didn't make it to work- he couldn't make the escargot.

I work in a restaurant that only serves cannibals.

I'm head chef.

Did you hear about the depressed French chef?

He'd lost the huile d'olive.

So j made a joke up

A master chef dies goes to heaven. Immediatly he finds himself in the kitchen doing what he loves. He begins cooking all the foood just like he did when he was alive. Finally he gets a strange order, a steak well done sprinkled with holy water. So he asks whats up with this order.

For Christs steak Micheal.

Did you hear about the Boston chef who died?

They could not find the sauce of his illness

How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month?

He started a swear jar.

How many chefs does it take to stuff a turkey?

One, but you really have to cram him in there.

I called a Chinese restaurant,

the man replied " Hello, I am Wan King the chef."

I replied "It's OK, I'll call you later."

I used to know an Italian chef.

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.

I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.

it was a farfalle from grace.

A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested.

He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.

Dad Joke

My dad - who was a chef - always referred to the cheese knife as "the lesser implement". Once I was going to ask him "Dad, what's the greater implement?" but I just stopped myself in time.

I asked a chef if he ever served a steak raw..

He said yeah but it's rare.

A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

I used to be on of those chefs who shouts and swears a lot

But then I discovered oven mitts

I wanted to be a chef.

I figured it would add some spice to my life.

I was watching Australian Master Chef last night...

Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered...

I thought... That's odd, normaly in Australia they boo meringue

This is a portuguese joke so idk how well it will be in English but...

A man orders rice and beans in a restaurant. When his meal comes he notices a little fiber in his food and tells the waiter. The waiter then explains theres nothing to worry about, its just from the sack of beans. However the man still insists on getting another plate. The waiter, complying, yells out to the chef "yo beans, make another plate".

My best friend was a chef. He called last week to say that he found a hidden message in his herb and spice rack. He was quite paranoid and later that day he was found dead.

I should have believed him when he said his Thyme was running out.

My fortune teller is such a fraud, said my dad would live a long life but he died at 51

I wish my dad could live longer like our chef who completed 73 years yesterday.

The head cook was also a proud linguist. He boasted to his team that he'd finally figured out that champagne and sugar are the only words that sound like "sh" without starting with "sh".

The assistant hesitated for a moment then replied-
"Chef! Are you sure?"

A chef asks an employee to grab him some cilantro

He quickly grabs the herb and returns to his boss. When he returns the chef is busy doing something and can't take the cilantro right away.

Give me a second, he says

Take your time, the employee responds patiently.

The chef snaps back I told you to give me a second! Also I asked for cilantro!

I put my blood, sweat, and tears into my work, and this is the thanks I get.

The restaurant is not pressing charges but I'll be lucky to find work as a chef again.

A man goes to a restaurant and has the most delicious turkey he's ever tasted...

He asks the chef, "How do you prepare the turkeys?"

The chef replies, "Oh, nothing special, we just tell them they're gonna die."

Why was the French chef contemplating suicide?

Because he'd lost the *huile d'olive.*

What does an upset chef make food with?


Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

Yeah, he pasta way

You hear about the chef who died

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. His wife is really upset cheese still not over it.

me: onion rings and a bottle of wine for the table

**waiter:** white or red?

**me, trying to impress my date:** whichever onion the chef prefers

Miss Joan asks her 3rd grade students what their parents do for a living

Emily happily raises her hand and say : "Daddy's a mechanic and Mommy is a teacher like you !"

Jason then replies : "Well, my dad is a chef and my mom is her accountant"

And so on, every child answers to their best until it is little Billy's turn, who suddenly bursts into tears.

Miss Joan asks him why he's crying so much and Billy wails : "my papa is dead !"

"Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry... But what did he do before dying ?"

"Well, he was like *arglhblargahrgablar*"

Why did the Catholic chef sanitize his crucifix while preparing Sunday brunch?

To prevent cross-contamination.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that was in a car accident?

He pasta way

A king's chef was sentenced to death, after serving terrible food one too many times...

On the day the sentence was to be carried out, the chef brought one of his cakes and presented it to the headsman, in the hopes it would encourage him to make the death quick and painless.

When the headsman returned home, his wife asked how the proceedings had gone.

"Awful taste but great execution."

The police raided the kitchen of a restaurant where the chef was preparing Eggs Benedict

He was arrested for poaching.

I heard that there's a chef attempting to combine macaroni with a potato pancake

I mean, it's not impastable, but it's not very latkely either.

Job interview

How did that new chef do at his job interview in your Chinese restaurant?

Not good. He could talk the talk but he couldn't work the wok.

Sad news about the chef at my favorite Italian restaurant

A doctor cannoli do so much and unfortunately he pasta way.

A Mexican guy and his pet otter go to a restaurant . . .

A Mexican guy and his pet otter go to a restaurant, sit down at a table, and place their order. They are in for an early dinner and are the only customers. The chef looks down at the order slip and says incredulously: who comes to a restaurant and orders a whole raw fish? . His sous chef scans the restaurant, sees his only two customers, and replies: it's either Juan or the otter .

Blonde Joke.

A Blonde went for a pizza.

The chef said, would you like it cut into four slices or eight?

Blonde said, four please.

There is no way I could possibly eat eight slices.

What do you call a Jedi Italian pastry chef?

Obi Wan Cannoli

Tongue anyone?

A man went to an ethnic restaurant for lunch and asked the waiter if there were any specials that day. The waiter beamed and said, we do have a marvelous tongue salad which our chef is very expert at preparing. The man said I would never eat anything that came out of a cows mouth. I'd rather die.
Without expression, the waiter said Then how about an egg?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chef culinary jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chef cook piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes