Cheetah Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma?

A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause

A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.

Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?

One student raises their hand,

The cheetah is faster dandelion.

Teacher - 'Use dandelion in a sentence'

Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'

What's the worst animal to play cards with?

A cheetah.

Because it'll rip your fucking face off.

Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"

Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"

Jamaican student: "the cheetah is faster dandelion"

*Everyone dies*

A Jamaican is asked, use Dandelion in a sentence ...

He then says ...
"The cheetah is faster dandelion"

Teacher: "Use the word dandelion in a sentence"

Student: "De cheetah is faster dandelion"

Why does a tiger make such a good girlfriend?

Because its not a cheetah.

A english teacher asked the class...

... Use the word 'dandelion' in a sentence.

The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -


De Cheetah is fastah dandelion'

It was the end of the sixth day of the Creation and God summoned Adam and Eve.

God: Adam, Eve, I have a very important decision for both of you to make. Throughout the day I have created the beasts of the land and have bestowed upon them traits and abilities. I have given flight to the birds, speed to the cheetah, the ability to breathe underwater to the fish of the sea, and so forth.

Now I have only two traits left, one for each of you. You get to choose between yourselves which one you will take for your gender.

Eve: So what do we have to choose from?

God: The first is the ability to pee while standing up and the-

Adam: OH OH OH! THAT ONE! I WANT THAT ONE!

God: Very well. Adam, you and every man after you will urinate standing up. Eve you get multiple orgasms.

I saw this guy trying to hit on a Cheetah

Just then I thought He's trying to pull a fast one

Which side of a cheetah has the most spots?

The outside.

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'dandelion' in it.

Jamaican: Da Cheetah ran faster dandelion

What does a cheetah call Usain Bolt?

Fast food

Smart Chihuahua

A Chihuahua was lost in the jungle. Walking along he saw a dead bear. He didn't even know what to make of it. Suddenly he heard something off in the distance. Knowing it was a predator he thought quickly, speaking out loud to himself he said "Killing this bear wasn't as hard as it looked.... Kinda gets me in a blood thirsty mood."

The Cheetah who had shown up tracking the scent of meat and not knowing what a Chihuahua was, decided he better not risk it and turned around taking off into the jungle.

A monkey overhead saw the whole thing. Thinking he could barter a deal from the Cheetah for protection he took off after the Cheetah to inform him of the ruse.

The cheetah was furious and decided to go back and kill that chihuahua slowly and painfully.

The chihuahua having seen the monkey and figuring out his plan was waiting. About the time the cheetah got in ear shot he said to himself "Now where is that damn monkey? I told him to bring me back something else to kill."

A teacher asked a Jamaican kid in class to use the word dandelion in a sentence

The kid said The cheetah is faster dandelion

What do you call an unfaithful feline?

A cheetah.

so a cheetah and a lion decide to have a race

The cheetah wins and the lion says "you're a Cheetah"
the Cheetah says 'nah you're Lion'

Why is Hitler's Favorite Animal the Cheetah?

Because they are the Facist animals within existence.

Did you know that..

The Cheetah is faster Dandelion

You cant expect an honest person to beat Usain Bolt...

Only a cheetah can.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank?

He ran away so fast that he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race...

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race to see who's the fastest in the animal kingdom. The cheetah wins. The lion say "Hey, you a cheetah!" The cheetah says "Nah, you lion."

Buddy of mine just told this to me

A lion and a cheetah set off on a foot race too see who was the faster animal.The cheetah ended up winning and the lion complained. "Hey you a cheetah". The cheetah says back "Nah you a lion".

I have the heart of a lion and the legs of a cheetah

Needless to say, the zoo doesn't want me back.

Why shouldn't you trust big cats?

They are a bunch of lion cheetah pussies.

Why did the giraffe leave her boyfriend?

He was a Cheetah!

A cheetah and a lion are racing in Africa

After the cheetah easily wins, the lion complains: "Man, you're a cheetah" and the cheetah says: "Naw man you're a lion".

So the teacher asks

So the teacher asks an African student to use the word dandelion in a sentence.
The student says: the cheetah can run faster dandelion.

Ba-dum-tss.

what do you call a cat that copies off others' exam papers?

a cheetah

Did you hear about the cat that took a shortcut?

It was a real cheetah

Investment question

If a leopard and a cheetah both had companies, which stock should you buy?

A: The leopard's, because cheetahs never prosper.

Dandelion

Teacher:"Can you make a sentence with dandelion."

Little johnny:"The cheetah is faster dandelion."

As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah,

I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed

If Tarzan and Jane were Irish what would that make Cheetah?

The designated driver....

I dated a furry once

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah

There aren't that many casinos in Africa.

Cause there are too many cheetahs.

And if you meet one who claims he isn't a cheetah, he's probably lion to you.

What does a dead cheetah means to Tarzan ?

A new thong !

Why did that animal's wife get a divorce?

Because he was a cheetah.

Would a cheetah cheat on his wife?

No, but a tiger would.

What do you call a married cougar?

A cheetah.

American teaching class of young foreign exchange students

"Okay class, can any of you use the word Dandelion in a sentence?"

A young boy from Ghana raises his hand and says

"The cheetah is fasta dan-de-lion!"

Why was the poker game at the zoo cancelled?

Some believed that there was a cheetah among them.

What are the funniest cheetah jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Cheetah? Well, here are the best Cheetah puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Cheetah pick up lines to share with friends.

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