Cheeseburger Jokes
68 cheeseburger jokes and hilarious cheeseburger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cheeseburger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Start your day laughing with these funny cheeseburger jokes! From double cheeseburgers to Randy Cheeseburgers, McSteaks and steaks, get your daily fill of humor with these puns and one-liners.
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Funniest Cheeseburger Short Jokes
Short cheeseburger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cheeseburger humour may include short cheese burger jokes also.
- I said to the customer, "So you'd like a cheeseburger?" "Yes," He said. "Well done." "Thank you," I said.
- A frog goes into McDonald's and orderes a cheeseburger The cashier looks at the frog and asks him: would you like flies with that sir?
- What do you call a cheeseburger that's on the move? A slider.
My 10 year old nephew came up with this one, I think he nailed it! - There's a joke working its way around the White House recently... ...It eats cheeseburgers in bed and wants to build a wall.
- Maybe I should have put more mustard on my cheeseburger In Heinz sight, I should have added more ketchup
- I was recently fired from McDonald's for helping myself to too many cheeseburgers I think I was misled about their "opportunities for growth"
- Why is a cheeseburger better than eternal happiness? 1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
2. A cheeseburger is better than nothing.
- Which side of a glass of water does Gary Larson drink from? Neither! He ordered a cheeseburger!
- "I'll have a cheeseburger with a large coke," The blonde girl requested. "Excuse me miss, this is a library."
^^"I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke," she whispered. - How did the man solve the issue between a cheeseburger and a biscuit? He brought them to the food court!
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Cheeseburger One Liners
Which cheeseburger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cheeseburger? I can suggest the ones about hamburger and burgers fries.
- How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger? One if nobody's looking.
- Why can't Jesus eat a cheeseburger? Because he's dead.
- Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef.
- What did the cheeseburger name her daughter? Patty.
- Managed to lose 1000 calories in five seconds... ...by dropping my cheeseburger :(
- How do you smuggle a cheeseburger into prison? Between 2 buns
- Give a man a cheeseburger, you feed him for a day.
- Where did the hamburger meet the cheeseburger? At the meat ball.
- I took my cheeseburger into the elevator. Just taking lunch to the next level.
- What do you call a well-mannered cheeseburger? A Pleaseburger
- At a courthouse Judge: Order, order.
Defendant: A cheeseburger, please. - The worst part about being vegan is the cheese It ruins the cheeseburger
- Cheeseburger!?!? I hardly know her!
- How many cow-lories does a cheeseburger have? Moo many...
- What do you call a cow with a broken leg? Cheeseburgers
Double Cheeseburger Jokes
Here is a list of funny double cheeseburger jokes and even better double cheeseburger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I hate it when I'm running on the treadmill and I accidentally hit the stop button... and I have to get off and go eat a bacon double cheeseburger.
Comical Cheeseburger Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about cheeseburger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean burger and fries jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cheeseburger pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo momma's so s**..., she ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's and said, "Hold the cheese."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building.
The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death.
That weekend at the f**..., the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me."
And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie.
As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it.
The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie.
The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied.
"He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**...
A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A crusty old biker walls into a bar..
..and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, b**..., beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a s**... little smile.
The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
Please read in Steven Wright's voice...
I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me.
"Why not?"
"You're at a bank."
Why does the house only have one window?
Cheeseburger
(joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)
A gentleman walks into a library...
A gentleman walks into a library, goes over to the librarian and says, "I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.". Confused, the librarian replies, "Sir, this is a library!". The gentleman is very embarrassed. He softly whispers, "I'm terribly sorry. I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.".
Guys I'm like next to Austria right now...
Hungary, I could really go for a cheeseburger...
I made up a Stephen Wright joke.
I went to the drive-thru recently. The lady over the intercom asked what should could get for me. I told her I'd take a cheeseburger, medium french fries, and a large Coke. She told me I couldn't order that. I said, "Why not?". She said, "This is a bank."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do r**... love cheeseburgers?
Because they are in bread.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Biker walks into a bar...
A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, b**..., beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a s**... little smile.
The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
Truck Driver and the Bikers
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call when two cheeseburgers kill themselves together?
McDouble s**...
'Educational' refers to the process, not the object.
Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a bar and sees a sign up behind the liquor display that says-
"Cheeseburger - $2
Chicken Sandwich - $3
h**... - $10"
The man immediately looks around, and sees a smoking hot blonde bartender serving some drinks to a group of guys across the way. As she returns behind the bar the man leans over and quietly asks " Um excuse me, are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes, yes I am" she said
The man quickly points to the kitchen and says "Go wash your hands I want a cheeseburger"
Technically speaking, Muslim-heaven can't have alcohol or cheeseburgers.
So why do they even call it heaven?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A biker walks into a bar...
...and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, b**..., beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a s**... little smile. The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
A blonde walks into a library, goes to the desk and asks could I please have a cheeseburger with French fries?
A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)
She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
A man walks into a fast food restaurant, followed by a priest.
What can I get you today? Says the cashier.
I'll have one cheeseburger and a kid sized chicken nugget portion please.
The priest asks the man What are you getting the kid sized portion for?
Well, says the man my lazy 7 year old isn't doing his chores and says he won't do anything unless I get him some chicken nuggets. He says he'll do anything after I get him some.
He'll do anything? Asks the priest.
Yeah, I reckon any kid would do whatever you want for a bit of junk food. Says the man jokingly.
The priest thinks long and hard and says to the cashier
I'll have 20 kid sized chicken nugget portions please.
A man goes into a fastfood resturant
He orders a cheeseburger and asks the server if it will be long
The cashier looks confused for a second and replies no. It will be round like all the others
What Do You Call A Cheeseburger Without Pickles?
A Cheeseburger That I Wouldn't Want To Eat.
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to a bar on the weekend and the sign read:
Hamburgers £1:00
Cheeseburgers £2:00
h**... £3:00 (Oh yesss!!)
I called the attractive blonde behind the bar across to enquire. "Can I help you?" she asked with a big smile. "I was wondering (I whispered) Are you the one who gives them ummm!! Hand Jobs?" "Yessssss" she almost purrs "I am" "Well wash your hands," I said "I want a cheeseburger!!"
I was eating a cheeseburger when I was confronted by a vegan.
The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.
At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.
The Library
This is one of my favorite jokes that NOBODY ever thinks is funny. It is funnier when spoken, but since I have no friends, Reddit will have to do.
Here it goes:
A guy walks into a library. He strolls up to the counter and looks at the librarian dead in the eyes and screams MA'AM I'LL HAVE A CHEESEBURGER A LARGE FRY AND A LARGE MILKSHAKE PLEASE!!!
The librarian shushes him and sternly says in a whisper, Sir! This is a library!
The man immediately apologizes and whispers,
So sorry, I'll have a cheeseburger a large fry and a large milkshake please
Crunches
I told my girlfriend today I really needed to lose weight.
She said "You need to do crunches"
I said "I do that already! I crunch cookies, I crunch pizza. I'm about to crunch on some cheeseburgers."
Doesn't seem to be helping...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(True joke) In 1960, after winning his olympic gold medal, Muhammad Ali went to eat at a fancy downtown resteraunt.
When the waiter came over Ali asked for a cheeseburger.
Shocked to see a black man sitting in the resteraunt, the waiter announced "We don't serve n**...".
Ali: "Well I don't eat them either, just give me my d**... cheeseburger".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is in diner with his two young boys...
The waitress comes to the table to take their order. The man says, "I'll have the chicken fried steak."
She jots that down and asks the oldest boy "What would you like, sweetie?"
The boys answers, "I'll have a g**... cheeseburger."
The father angrily backhands the boy.
The waitress asks the other boy, "What would you like, hon?"
The boy says, "Well... I don't know. But you can bet your sweet a**... I ain't gonna have a g**... cheeseburger!"
