The Best 51 Cheeseburger Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cheeseburger jokes. There are some cheeseburger condiments jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cheeseburger pepperoni puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cheeseburger Jokes and Puns

Handjobs



A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:

"Cheeseburgers: $5

Fries: $3

Handjobs: $10."

He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?"

"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.

"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

A man walks into a burger joint

He sees a really pretty blonde lady working behind the counter. He looks at the menu, which reads

-Hamburger: $2.00
-Cheeseburger: $2.50
-Handjob:$25.00

He thinks for a second, then asks the woman "Are you the one that gives handjobs?"
She smiles and replies "I am."
"Great. Wash your hands. I want a burger."

So a girl walks into a library...

...and asks the librarian,"Can I have a cheeseburger and fries?"
The librarian says,"This is a library..."
"Sorry,"The girl whispers,"can I have a cheeseburger and fries?"

Cheeseburger joke, So a girl walks into a library...

A crusty old biker walls into a bar..

..and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:

Hamburger - 2.99

Cheeseburger - 3.99

Chicken Sandwich - 4.99

Hand Jobs - 19.99

The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a sexy little smile.

The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

Guy sits down at a diner

He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.

The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".


A blonde goes into a library.

She walks up to the head librarian's desk and says, "Hi! I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries, and a medium-sized Coke, please."

The librarian stares at her. "Miss, do you realize that this is a library?"

"Oh!" says the blonde. She lowers her voice to a whisper. "*I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries...*"

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger?

One if nobody's looking.

Cheeseburger joke, How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger?

Why can't Jesus eat a cheeseburger?

Because he's dead.

Blonde joke

A blonde went to the counter and told the lady "can i have a double cheeseburger, large fries and coke"

The lady at the counter said,"Excuse me this is a library"

The blonde replied by lowering her voice and speaking in a low soft tone," Mayi have a double cheeseburger, large fries and coke please?"

A gentleman walks into a library...

A gentleman walks into a library, goes over to the librarian and says, "I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.". Confused, the librarian replies, "Sir, this is a library!". The gentleman is very embarrassed. He softly whispers, "I'm terribly sorry. I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a small chocolate shake.".

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

You can explore cheeseburger steak reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cheeseburger handjobs dad jokes. There are also cheeseburger puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


An old man walks into a library and talks to the librarian

Old Man: Excuse me miss, can I have a chesseburger and fries please?

Librarian: SIR! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE YOU ARE? THIS IS A LIBRARY!

Old Man: O, well, (whispers) *can I have a cheeseburger and fries please?*

Yo Mama so fat her Patronus was a cheeseburger..

I made up a Stephen Wright joke.

I went to the drive-thru recently. The lady over the intercom asked what should could get for me. I told her I'd take a cheeseburger, medium french fries, and a large Coke. She told me I couldn't order that. I said, "Why not?". She said, "This is a bank."

How did the man solve the issue between a cheeseburger and a biscuit?

He brought them to the food court!

A blonde woman walks into a library

A blonde woman walks into a library and talks to the lady at the front desk and says " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."

The lady replies "Ma'am, this is a library."

The blonde looks around, then whispers " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."

(Credit goes to my dad for this one. He had another one that I can't remember but once I do I'm coming back to post it)

Cheeseburger joke, A blonde woman walks into a library

A cheeseburger walks up to a bar..

Cheeseburger says: "Excuse me, can I have a pint of lager please?"
Barman says: "No sorry, we don't serve food."

"I'll have a cheeseburger with a large coke," The blonde girl requested.

"Excuse me miss, this is a library."

^^"I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke," she whispered.

A polar bear walks into a restaurant..

The polar bear tells the waitress,
"I'll have a Diet Coke, a double cheeseburger and a-"
...

...

... "side of fries."

"What's with the long pause!?" The waitress asked.

The polar bear replied,
"I was born with them."


Where did the hamburger meet the cheeseburger?

At the meat ball.

What did the cheeseburger name her daughter?

Patty.

A blonde walks into a library

She says to the librarian, "I would like a cheeseburger with fries and a coke."

The librarian says the the blonde, "this is a library!"

The blonde whispers, "I would like a cheeseburger with fries and a Coke."

Good joke to drop on most people.

A man walks into a bar and see's a sign that says:
Hamburgers - $1.00
Cheeseburgers - $2.00
Handjobs - $10.00

So the man approaches the blond, busty, beautiful bartender and says: "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

She replies "I sure am, sugar!"

"Great. Wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

'Educational' refers to the process, not the object.

Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.

How do you smuggle a cheeseburger into prison?

Between 2 buns

A man walks into a library

Man: (loudly)Excuse me ma'am, can i order a cheeseburger?

Librarian: Sir this is a library.

Man: (quietly) Oh sorry, can i order a cheeseburger?

Guy walks into a bar...

There's a sign that says: Cheeseburgers - $1.50, Chicken Sandwich - $2.50, Hand Job - $10.00. He walks up to a very attractive barmaid and ask "Hey, are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purred, "I am." He looked her straight in the eye and said "Well, go wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

Why is a cheeseburger better than eternal happiness?

1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
2. A cheeseburger is better than nothing.

A biker walks into a bar...

...and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:

Hamburger - 2.99

Cheeseburger - 3.99

Chicken Sandwich - 4.99

Hand Jobs - 19.99

The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a sexy little smile. The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

A man walks into a library,

He approaches the librarian and says, I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.

The librarian says, Sir, you know you're in a library, right?

Sorry, he whispers. I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.

A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)

She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."

Give a man a cheeseburger, you feed him for a day.

A blonde girl walks into a library and loudly exclaims, "I'll have a cheeseburger with fries"

The librarian stares at her questioningly and says, "Madam, this is a library."

The blonde turns red with embarrassment and apologizes.

She leans in and whispers, "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries."

A man walks into a bar and a busty blonde waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

The man looks up at the menu above the bar and sees that it says, "Hot dog $2, Cheese burger $5, Hand job $10".

He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

She winks and replies, "Why yes I am".

The man says, "Well in that case, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger".

Rene Descartes goes to a restaurant and orders a cheeseburger.

The waiter says, "Would you like fries with that, sir?"

Rene Descartes replies, "I think not," and ceases to exist.

A man walks into a bar...

and on the menu he sees Hamburgers $5, Cheeseburgers $6, Handjobs $10. He walks up to the bar and a beautiful brunette comes to take his order. She seductively leans over the bar and asks the man, Can I get you something dear? The man says Are you the one that makes the burgers and gives the handjobs? She grins and says I sure am honey and winks at him. He says Great, can you wash your hands, I'd love a cheeseburger.

A man walks into a bar...

A guy walked into a bar and saw a sign that said:

cheeseburgers 3$

hotdogs 5$

handjobs 10$

He goes to the bar and asks the lady "are you the one that gives handjobs" and she said yes, then he replied "well wash your hands I want a cheeseburger

My coworker is in the hospital after eating a giant bacon cheeseburger.

It was mine.

I took my cheeseburger into the elevator.

Just taking lunch to the next level.

Managed to lose 1000 calories in five seconds...

...by dropping my cheeseburger :(

What Do You Call A Cheeseburger Without Pickles?

A Cheeseburger That I Wouldn't Want To Eat.

A Man walks into a library...

He goes up to the librarian and says politely, Excuse me, I'd like a cheeseburger and fries, please.

The librarian, completely shocked, replies: Sir...you know this is a library, right?

The man apologizes at once. Sorry, he whispers. I'd like a cheeseburger and fries, please.

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.

One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.

As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"

"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."

I went to a bar on the weekend and the sign read:

Hamburgers £1:00
Cheeseburgers £2:00
Hand Job £3:00 (Oh yesss!!)
I called the attractive blonde behind the bar across to enquire. "Can I help you?" she asked with a big smile. "I was wondering (I whispered) Are you the one who gives them ummm!! Hand Jobs?" "Yessssss" she almost purrs "I am" "Well wash your hands," I said "I want a cheeseburger!!"

I was eating a cheeseburger when I was confronted by a vegan.

The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.

At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.

A blonde goes to the counter and in a very loud voice declares, I'll have a cheeseburger, a small order of fries and a Diet Coke, please!

The lady behind the counter is astonished and says, Ma'am, this is a library.
The blonde apologizes and leans in close and says in a whisper, I'll have a cheeseburger, a small order of fries and a Diet Coke, please.

What do you call a cheeseburger that's on the move?

A slider.

My 10 year old nephew came up with this one, I think he nailed it!

A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

He looks up at the menu above the bar. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and Handjob $10.

He asks the waitress, "Miss, are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

She winks and replies, "Why yes I am." He says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

Which side of a glass of water does Gary Larson drink from?

Neither! He ordered a cheeseburger!

A frog goes into McDonald's and orderes a cheeseburger

The cashier looks at the frog and asks him: would you like flies with that sir?

The Library

This is one of my favorite jokes that NOBODY ever thinks is funny. It is funnier when spoken, but since I have no friends, Reddit will have to do.

Here it goes:

A guy walks into a library. He strolls up to the counter and looks at the librarian dead in the eyes and screams MA'AM I'LL HAVE A CHEESEBURGER A LARGE FRY AND A LARGE MILKSHAKE PLEASE!!!

The librarian shushes him and sternly says in a whisper, Sir! This is a library!

The man immediately apologizes and whispers,

So sorry, I'll have a cheeseburger a large fry and a large milkshake please

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cheeseburger blt jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cheeseburger hamburger piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes