Chees Jokes

What are some Chees jokes?

CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

Two cheese trucks ran into each other

De brie was everywhere.

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam!

(Kill me)

Cheese shop exploded

Thankfully I was only hit by da brie

How does cheese get more mature?

Fromage

A cheese factory just exploded...

There was de-brie everywhere

Cheesy Jokes/ Lame Jokes. They make my day.

How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

Why did the cookie go to hospital?
Because he was feeling a little crummy.

Why was the mushroom happy?
Because he was a fungi.

How do you organise a party in space?
You planet.

How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with.

Hear about the Italian chef?
He pasta way.

What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing they just waved.

Did you hear about the movie constipated?
It never came out.

A cheese factory in France exploded.

All that was left was debris.

Cheese Sandwich.

Guy walks into a bar, sees a sign behind the counter that says: "Cheese Sandwich - $5; Handjob - $10."

Guy takes a seat, and looks at the woman tending the bar and asks, "'Scuse me, ma'am, but are you the lady who gives the handjobs around here?"

She smiles at him with a lusty look and replies, "Why yes sir, I am," leaning across the bar towards him.

Guy leans in a little closer, smiles, slaps a $5 bill on the counter and says, "Well, wash them hands and fix me a cheese sandwich."

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

You probably know how most cheese is produced, and the steps taken to make the different varieties of cheese,

but did you know Edam is made backwards?

Why didn't the cheese get sliced?

It was destined for grater.

Cheese Jokes

Q:What type of cheese do you use if you need to hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone

Q:What type of cheese do you use to make a Polar Bear come to you?
A:Camembert

Q: What type of cheese is made backwards?
A: Edam

Q:What type of cheese doesnt belong to you?
A: Nacho Cheese

Who doesn't like cheesy puns...

They're just so grate!

The old cheese factory across town recently exploded.

De brie was everywhere.

What did the cheeseburger name her daughter?

Patty.

A cheesemaker is hard-strapped for cash...

He decided to get a Provolone.

Cheese is good

Parmesan, however, grate.

What is better than Cheese?

A Cheese Greater.

Cheese doesn't go bad

It just gets more expensive

Why is there no cheese in the menu for the Last Supper?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

Why is a cheeseburger better than eternal happiness?

1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
2. A cheeseburger is better than nothing.

QED

The cheese industry is led by an illusive, secret cabal

They're called the Hallouminati

What did the cheese go as for Halloween

A muenster

Cheese

Frenchman: I know how the man died. It was death by fromage, right?

American: No silly, not from age, from cheese.

What did the cheese say to the mirror

Halloumi!

Cheesy Jokes

What sort of cheese would you use to entice a bear from a cave?

Camembert



What sort of cheese can hide a small horse?

Mascarpone



Why did the cheese get beat up by the stone?

Because the Roquefort back



Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus?

Because he couldn't get his stilton



What did the mexican say to the cheese thief?

That's nacho cheese!



What is a cannibal's favourite cheese?

Limburger



What kind of cheese do you find in Psychiatric Institutions?

Emmental



I bought a load of smelly cheese for a dinner party the other day. It didn't go down to well, there's stiltons left...



What is a paedophile's favourite cheese?

Baby Bell.



What does a vain cheese say when it looks at itself in the mirror

Halloumi!



I was in the supermarket yesterday and someone threw cheddar at the back of my head, I said "wow, thats mature"

Then someone covered me with milk,
I thought how dairy?



These are just a couple of cheese jokes I can remember, they aren't very good, I have some Feta.

Cheese & Milk

Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese.

I thought that wasn't very mature.

He then ran over and pour milk all over my head.

I thought HOW DAIRY!!!

The cheese factory was destroyed today...

Debris was everywhere.

Cheese

What cheese is Swiss cheese most afraid of?....Munster cheese.

What?! It's a cheesy joke!

I'm not doing anything cheesy for my girlfriend on valentines day...

She's lactose intolerant.

Cheesy pun

I once had a dream about cheese. It was all gouda until a muenster appeared and started chasing me

Why did the cheese go to the museum?

To get cultured

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What's the best cheese to hide a horse with?

Mascarpone

Cheesy joke

A muenster attacked Emmenthal institution. Everyone cheddared with panic. There was de brie everywhere. It was no Gouda.

Why did the cheese board blow away?

Because of the strong bries.

What cheese lives in a small house?

Cottage cheese

"I'll have a cheeseburger with a large coke," The blonde girl requested.

"Excuse me miss, this is a library."

^^"I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke," she whispered.

Why didn't the cheesestick have any friends?

Because it was uncultured.

Cheesecake

God: (creates cheesecake)

God: (While stuffing his face in front of the angels) Oh wow! This is so great!

Angel: Don't you think you should be sharing that?

—pause—

God:(creates lactose intolerance)

As a cheesemonger, I spent a lot of time cutting cheese up in to little pieces.

It's grate.

Cheese puns...

Aren't they grate?

(cheesy pickup line) How much does a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice

Why is Cheese Frankenstein so scary?

He's a Muenster.

"Mr. Cheese, it's time for you to be sliced up into little pieces."

"Oh grate!"

Say cheese.

Person I just met: So, what do you do for a living?

Me: I take professional headshots.

Person: Oh, you're a photographer?

Me: (tucks sniper rifle behind my back) No, not exactly...

What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter?

Camenbert

Which cheese has the most musical talent of them all?

Why, it's gotta be the one and only MOZARTrella.

What did the cheese say to its reflection?

Halloumi!

What did the cheese vendor say to the robber?

"Hey! That's nacho cheese!"

What's a cheese race called?

A grand bree

Cheesy Christmas Jokes?

Does any one know any really cheesy but actually really funny christmas jokes? short ones as they are easier to send? struggling to think of any myself

What did the cheese maker say when he found out his dairy supply spoiled?

That's not Gouda.

Where do cheeses go to the bathroom?

In a Parma-John.

A cheeseburger walks up to a bar..

Cheeseburger says: "Excuse me, can I have a pint of lager please?"
Barman says: "No sorry, we don't serve food."

What cheese rules the world?

The Hallouminati

What cheese is greater than all others?

Shredded cheese

I don't like Cow's Cheese, I prefer Sheep Cheese.

It's much Feta.

Why didn't cheese want to be sliced?

It had grater plans.

A Cheesy Joke

My family spent all of today calling me by different cheese names. I told them I just wanted to be left provolone.

What did one cheese say to the other?

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!

When you're trying to be cheesy

But everyone around you is lactose intolerant

What's better than cheese?

A cheese grater

What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor?

That's no gouda

What cheese do you use to coax bear out of the woods with?

Camembert

It's the cheese police, you're under arrest. Looks like you've been keeping all your cheddar...

In a Swiss bank account.

What was the cheese dip's reply when Chip said Salsa was his best friend?

K, so?

Why did the cheese clog the toilet?

Because it filled it up with curds!

Cheese

If *more cheese = more holes*
And *more holes = less cheese*
Does more cheese= less cheese?

My Cheesy Redneck Joke

Bill, I cant post to Youtube no more. All these average potatos on there are agitating me.

*Average Potatos?*

Yeah, you know. Them Common Taters.

Like cheesy chocolate?

Try Toeblerone.

Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie?


Not much Gouda

A cheese shop was just bombed in Paris.

There's de-brie everywhere ^^^I'm ^^^really ^^^sorry

How did Mr Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

Cheesy pick up line

Can I read your t-shirt... in Braille?

Cheesy Late out-of-context Joke of the Day

Four Liars and a Pothead walk into a bar...

And someone says, "Hey, look! It's the US Olympic Swimming Team!"

What is the cheesiest line you ever said to anyone?

Me: Double cheese margherita with cheese burst crust and triple layer extra cheese.

3 Cheese Wheels Go To A Bar

They weren't let in because they were Under aged.

Who do the cheese people worship?

CHEESUS Christ!

How to make Chees jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Chees to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Chees? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Chees pick up lines to share with friends.

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