A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
De brie was everywhere.
Edam!
(Kill me)
Thankfully I was only hit by da brie
Fromage
There was de-brie everywhere
How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
Why did the cookie go to hospital?
Because he was feeling a little crummy.
Why was the mushroom happy?
Because he was a fungi.
How do you organise a party in space?
You planet.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with.
Hear about the Italian chef?
He pasta way.
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing they just waved.
Did you hear about the movie constipated?
It never came out.
All that was left was debris.
Guy walks into a bar, sees a sign behind the counter that says: "Cheese Sandwich - $5; Handjob - $10."
Guy takes a seat, and looks at the woman tending the bar and asks, "'Scuse me, ma'am, but are you the lady who gives the handjobs around here?"
She smiles at him with a lusty look and replies, "Why yes sir, I am," leaning across the bar towards him.
Guy leans in a little closer, smiles, slaps a $5 bill on the counter and says, "Well, wash them hands and fix me a cheese sandwich."
It had beef.
but did you know Edam is made backwards?
It was destined for grater.
Q:What type of cheese do you use if you need to hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone
Q:What type of cheese do you use to make a Polar Bear come to you?
A:Camembert
Q: What type of cheese is made backwards?
A: Edam
Q:What type of cheese doesnt belong to you?
A: Nacho Cheese
They're just so grate!
De brie was everywhere.
Patty.
He decided to get a Provolone.
Parmesan, however, grate.
A Cheese Greater.
It just gets more expensive
Because Jesus took the wheel.
1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
2. A cheeseburger is better than nothing.
QED
They're called the Hallouminati
A muenster
Frenchman: I know how the man died. It was death by fromage, right?
American: No silly, not from age, from cheese.
Halloumi!
What sort of cheese would you use to entice a bear from a cave?
Camembert
What sort of cheese can hide a small horse?
Mascarpone
Why did the cheese get beat up by the stone?
Because the Roquefort back
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus?
Because he couldn't get his stilton
What did the mexican say to the cheese thief?
That's nacho cheese!
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese?
Limburger
What kind of cheese do you find in Psychiatric Institutions?
Emmental
I bought a load of smelly cheese for a dinner party the other day. It didn't go down to well, there's stiltons left...
What is a paedophile's favourite cheese?
Baby Bell.
What does a vain cheese say when it looks at itself in the mirror
Halloumi!
I was in the supermarket yesterday and someone threw cheddar at the back of my head, I said "wow, thats mature"
Then someone covered me with milk,
I thought how dairy?
These are just a couple of cheese jokes I can remember, they aren't very good, I have some Feta.
Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese.
I thought that wasn't very mature.
He then ran over and pour milk all over my head.
I thought HOW DAIRY!!!
Debris was everywhere.
What cheese is Swiss cheese most afraid of?....Munster cheese.
What?! It's a cheesy joke!
She's lactose intolerant.
I once had a dream about cheese. It was all gouda until a muenster appeared and started chasing me
To get cultured
Edam
Mascarpone
A muenster attacked Emmenthal institution. Everyone cheddared with panic. There was de brie everywhere. It was no Gouda.
Because of the strong bries.
Cottage cheese
"Excuse me miss, this is a library."
^^"I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke," she whispered.
Because it was uncultured.
God: (creates cheesecake)
God: (While stuffing his face in front of the angels) Oh wow! This is so great!
Angel: Don't you think you should be sharing that?
—pause—
God:(creates lactose intolerance)
It's grate.
Aren't they grate?
Enough to break the ice
He's a Muenster.
"Oh grate!"
Person I just met: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I take professional headshots.
Person: Oh, you're a photographer?
Me: (tucks sniper rifle behind my back) No, not exactly...
Camenbert
Why, it's gotta be the one and only MOZARTrella.
Halloumi!
"Hey! That's nacho cheese!"
A grand bree
Does any one know any really cheesy but actually really funny christmas jokes? short ones as they are easier to send? struggling to think of any myself
That's not Gouda.
In a Parma-John.
Cheeseburger says: "Excuse me, can I have a pint of lager please?"
Barman says: "No sorry, we don't serve food."
The Hallouminati
Shredded cheese
It's much Feta.
It had grater plans.
My family spent all of today calling me by different cheese names. I told them I just wanted to be left provolone.
I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!
But everyone around you is lactose intolerant
A cheese grater
That's no gouda
Camembert
In a Swiss bank account.
K, so?
Because it filled it up with curds!
If *more cheese = more holes*
And *more holes = less cheese*
Does more cheese= less cheese?
Bill, I cant post to Youtube no more. All these average potatos on there are agitating me.
*Average Potatos?*
Yeah, you know. Them Common Taters.
Try Toeblerone.
Not much Gouda
There's de-brie everywhere ^^^I'm ^^^really ^^^sorry
He Double Gloucester.
Can I read your t-shirt... in Braille?
Four Liars and a Pothead walk into a bar...
And someone says, "Hey, look! It's the US Olympic Swimming Team!"
Me: Double cheese margherita with cheese burst crust and triple layer extra cheese.
They weren't let in because they were Under aged.
CHEESUS Christ!
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