Cheering Someone Up Jokes
13 cheering someone up jokes and hilarious cheering someone up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cheering someone up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cheering Someone Up Short Jokes
Short cheering someone up jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cheering someone up humour may include short cheering up jokes also.
- Wife: I'm afraid our Neighbour died Husband: Who, Ray?
Wife: It's inappropriate to cheer when someone dies
(My 7 year old came up with this joke) - If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!
- Jokes to Cheer someone up Okay, my best friend is feeling down, and I want to help cheer her up. Give me your best jokes for the occasion!
- Someone told me I looked sad. In an effort to cheer me up he asked me to name one thing that was positive in my life. My answer? h**....
- so i finished work in the bus someone said:
whe are going so fast!
everyone cheered: Oh Yeah. So Fast. So Cool. Like in The Movie. Life is Beatifull!
>!and we all died in the car c**... :(!<
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Cheering Someone Up Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cheering someone up you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheer up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cheering someone up pranks.
Call Captain Planet
The residents of a town are fed up with all of the pollution from factories, littering, and toxic waste.
Finally, a townsperson says, "We need Captain Planet!"
A moment later, a superhero looking dude shows up and says, "Did someone summon me?
The townspeople rejoice, and cheer for their new savior.
The superhero gathers everyone together and puts together a basic strategy to fight the pollution.
Then he says, "Have fun, I'm outta here."
The townspeople are confused and ask him, "Well wait, when do you start doing all this?"
He replies, "Me? I don't do anything. You called for Captain Plan-it"
3 Swimmers are on the starting blocks at the Paralympic games
The first one has no arms, the second one has no legs, and the third one is just a head standing on the block.
The race starts, the first two swimmers jump in and start swimming, someone pushes the head in.
They go at it like crazy and finally the guy with no legs reaches the finish line.
Everyone cheers, he is so happy, but he looks around and sees bubbles coming from the water.
He dives and grabs the head that was underwater. The head coughs some water and says:
"I train for five years to swim with my ears and just before the start an idiot comes and puts a swim cap on me!"
You are one of us
A nun walks into a pub because she really needs the loo. When she walks in, the lights suddenly go out for a few seconds, and everyone starts to cheer. The nun hurries to the bar and asks if she can use the toilet. Yes of course, if you go to the left, the door will be on you right hand. But on you left hand there is a life-size statue of a n**... man. A leaf covers his... You know what. Oh, that's okay, I will just look in the other direction. The nun says. During this conversation the lights were going on and off, and every thime the lights did go off, everyone cheered. After she used the loo the barkeeper asks: Congratiolations! You are one of us now! Do you want a drink? the nun looks surprised and confused. One of us? she asks. Yes! the barkeeper answers, Every time someone lifts the leaf that covers that statue, the lights go off for a few seconds! Do you want a beer?
A rather long winded joke, read all of it to get the punchline...
Right, so there was this guy that lost his eye in a car accident, and after losing it he hadn't been out of his house much, aside from having to go shopping, because he was so embarrassed. One day his friends come over to his house, and they say "look man, you've got to come to the dance next week, it'll be fun, and you haven't done anything in ages." The man stubbornly refuses, until his friends stop pestering him about it, but the next day, they come back, and say "well, we've got a bit if a surprise for you... We've put together enough money to buy you a fake eye." The man says "that's great! thanks so much!" His friends then say, "but, you have to promise to come to the dance once you've got one. The man thinks it over, he's still a bit embarrassed, but eventually agree. So the man and his friends drive to the eye store and walk up to the man at the counter. "Hello," says one of the eyeless mans friends, "we're here to buy a fake eye for our friend here, do you have any in stock?" The nan at the counter says "we certainly do, and walks into the back of the shop, returning later with a box of beautiful glass eyes. "These a very good quality eyes," the man said "they're hand painted, and we have a match for pretty much any eye colour. "Great!" Says one of the mans friends, "how much do they cost?" "Well" says the man at the counter, "these are very good quality, so you're looking at around $1500 to $2000" "well" says the mans friend, "we don't really have that much to spend... Do you have any others?" "Certainly," says the man at the counter who puts the lid back on the glass eyes, walks into the back of the shop, coming back with a box full of plastic eyes. "These ones are also hand painted, but they aren't as well-painted as the glass eyes, and they aren't quite as matching, but they are still rather indistinguishable from normal eyes. "Right," say the mans friends, "how much do they cost?" "Um... These," says the salesman "will cost around $900" "sorry," says the man to his friend, "but we don't have quite enough for those, either. Do you have any more?" He says, turning back to the man at the counter. "We do have some wood eyes, says the man at the counter," he then produces a box from under the counter. "These wood eyes aren't hand painted, and won't be able to get a really good colour match, but we can find a passable colour, I'm sure." Says the man at the counter, " and they'll only cost about $120" "right" says the eyeless mans friend, "we'll take this one then." He takes a dark green eye from the box, and gives it to his friend, handing the man at the counter the money. The friends drive home, trying to cheer the eyeless man up, as they eye isn't entirely convincing. "It's okay," says the eyeless mans friend it'll be fine, it won't even be that light at the dance, and your eye won't show." So the man reluctantly goes to the dance the next week. Once arriving at the dance, the man sits alone in a corner until everyone else has a dance partner. The mans three friends come over to him, and encourage him to get a partner, "how about her over there?" The mans friend points to a woman sitting alone in a corner on the other side of the room. "Come on," prompts his friend "you can't have come all this way for nothing." "Alright," says the man, "I'll ask her to dance. As he walks over he realises the lady has a bit of a hunch back, and starts having second thoughts. "I'm no better" says the man to himself, and someone's up his courage and asks her to dance. "Would you like to have an dance" asks the man. "Would I!? Would I!?" Asks the woman. "Hunch back! Hunch back! Yells the man and runs back to the corner.
What's Behind The Fig Leaf?
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local h**....
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a n**... man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?
The Nun at h**...
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local h**....
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a n**... man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?'
I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.
I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.
I've suspected for some time now that my Mrs has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my Mrs. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.
Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from Halfords and try to repair it myself?
Cheers
Nineteen!
A guy gets fired from his job, and as he's walking home, head down, he hears someone yelling "Nineteen! Nineteen!" He looks around, and some w**... is jumping up and down in the middle of the street, pumping his fist in the air. "Nineteen! Nineteen!" Curious and with nothing better to do, the man walks over and asks him what's going on.
"Oh, I do this every day," the w**... says cheerfully. "It's great! You should try it."
"Nah... I just got fired and I really don't think anything can cheer me up."
"C'mon, just give it one try."
So the guy reluctantly agrees, stands next to him and half-heartedly jumps in the air, saying "Nineteen."
"No, no, you have to really commit to it. Like this: NINETEEN! NINETEEN!"
"OK, fine... Nineteen! Nineteen! ... You know, this really is making me feel better! NINETEEN! NINETEEN!" Just then, he makes an extra-high jump, and the w**... quickly bends down and yanks the manhole cover out from under him. "AAAaaaaaahhhh...." *splash*
The w**... puts the manhole cover back, looks around, jumps up in the air and yells "TWENTY!"