The Best 46 Cheddar Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cheddar jokes. There are some cheddar cheesemonger jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cheddar calzones puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cheddar Jokes and Puns

Two knights stood to face each other

They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel

The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill

The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese

The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with that?!"

"That's easy," said the second knight. " It's extra sharp."

There's a drunk guy in line at the grocery store...

The woman in front of him has a block of cheddar cheese, a half gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs.

He stumbles up to her and says, "Why, you must be single!"

Rather surprised, she looks at him and replies, "Yes, I am single! You could tell that just from what I'm buying?"

Without missing a beat, the drunk guy says, "No, it's 'cause you're fuckin' ugly!"


1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.

2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.

3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.

4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.

5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.

6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.

Cheddar joke, Jokes/Puns!

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.

... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!

... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.

... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.

... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?

It's the cheese police, you're under arrest. Looks like you've been keeping all your cheddar...

In a Swiss bank account.

What's the difference between aged cheddar and regular cheddar?

The aged cheddar isn't as sharp as it once was.

I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please.

Oops. Wrong sub.

Cheddar joke, I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow m

How much lube should you buy to prepare to have sex with a McDonald's fry cook with a cheddar fetish?

About a quart to pound her with cheese.

my rapper friend likes to visit Wisconsin

hes love to get this cheddar

How do you get sharp cheddar cheese from cows?

You gotta make sure they're glass fed.

If I put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener

Will it come out sharp or shredded?

You can explore cheddar cheesemaker reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cheddar mature dad jokes. There are also cheddar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I'll have a foot long Italian with turkey and cheddar cheese.

Whoops, wrong sub

I was walking down the road when this bloke threw a lump of cheddar at me.

"That's not very mature" I said.

I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss...

Whoops, wrong sub

The other day a man in the pub started throwing cheddar at me

I told him 'that's not very mature'

why does the mafia always refer to money as cheddar

brie cause its gouda

Cheddar joke, why does the mafia always refer to money as cheddar

What kind of cheese do elderly people like to eat?

Mature cheddar

What did the Mexican say to the great cheddar bandit?

That's nacho cheese.

A kid threw a chunk of cheddar at me today

I didn't think that was very mature.

Fortunately, it wasn't sharp.

What does a Cracker say when his pockets are filled with cheddar?


I cut myself on a cheese stick

It was sharp cheddar

Why doesn't anyone trust the cheddar cheese?

Because it's no gouda.

A guy drove past me in his car and threw a lump of cheddar at me.

I thought to myself "That's mature!"

A friend from Mexico recently moved up to Wisconsin with me

Naturally, one of the first places we went was a cheese shop. He was being all tentative, only considering purchasing a small block of cheddar. He's never going to fit like that.

I said to him, Jesus, take the wheel.


I'm going to start a religious sect for people who love both bible study and varietals of cheddar.

It shall be called The Church of Cheesus Christ.

What do you call a convoy of trucks hauling cheddar?

A cheesy pickup line

What's a chef's preferred murder weapon?

Sharp cheddar.

My mom was at the airport on her way home from Wisconsin when she got stopped by TSA.

Ma'am, do you have any sharp objects in your luggage?

He proceeded to unzip her luggage and pulled out a block of cheese she had packed.

She smiled and said Just that sharp cheddar

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker...

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker.

"Sir, I am very hungry. I am willing to clean your entire cheese shop for a pound of cheddar. "

The cheesemaker thinks for a moment, decides, and nods. "Forthwith!"

The little boy grabs a broom and vigilantly begins cleaning.

At the end of the day, the little boy shows the cheesemaker his fine work. The cheesemaker, approving of the poor boy's efforts, hands him a pound of Swiss cheese.

"But I said I would clean your shop for a pound of cheddar!" protested the boy.

And the cheesemaker replies, "And I thaid for thwith."

A bloke chucked a piece of cheddar at me the other day

I said "that's not very mature is it"

I've been trying to make a joke about swiss cheese...

But the joke has too many holes.

I know that was a cheesy joke. Most people aren't really that fondu of them. It's rare for them to be gouda jokes. You may think of me as a muenster for these jokes, and that I could do cheddar than this. I mean no parm in these puns. Alright, I'm done. I'll asiago away now.

Why was the shredded cheddar mad when the teacher gave him an F on the test?

He felt he had been unfairly grated.

So, there I was buying cheese in a deli.

Me: what would you recommend?

Deli person: *describing cheeses*
Mozzarella is smooth and melts well.

Me: sounds good .

Deli person: cheddar is good for sandwiches if you're looking for a sharp tang.

Me: awesome, noted.

Deli person: Pepper Jack is like Monterey Jack cheese but has delicious pepper chunks in it.

Me: weird flecks, but ok!

One night my family was having dinner

We were having something Mexican but we had a box of white cheddar cheese itz, we always have some sort of chips or crackers.

My brother had a plate of just rice and he was putting the cheese itz on the rice. I was super confused until he said

Hey Zack, have you heard in our lord and savior, Cheese itz rice?

In the supermarket yesterday, some bloke threw a pack of mild cheddar at me.

I thought "that's not very mature".

I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.

Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."

I Have A Addiction To Cheddar Cheese

Don't Worry, It's Only Mild

How do you make sheep cheddar?

Ewes milk.

You won't find a cheddar joke.

I don't give 'edam about your joke, ita no guda.

Why do scrap salvagers like cheese so much?

Because they sort through de-brie to earn some cheddar.

I cut myself while eating cheese...

They weren't kidding when they said it was sharp cheddar

I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"

Heard that the government is putting chips in people

I call dibs on Cheddar and Sour Cream

A photographer was killed in a freak accident today.

When trying to take a group photo, a giant wheel of cheddar rolled over and crushed him.

Witnesses said people did try to warn him.

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him

To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him

My fencing opponent laughed at me for bringing a block of cheddar to a sword fight.

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cheddar cheese jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cheddar queso piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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