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Checkpoint Jokes

18 checkpoint jokes and hilarious checkpoint puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about checkpoint that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Checkpoint Short Jokes

Short checkpoint jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The checkpoint humour may include short checker jokes also.

  1. I was playing roadrash and cop caught me The game resumes from the checkpoint in real life, if you can tip the cop well.
  2. What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life And you're starting back off at your last checkpoint.
  3. What do Mario Kart and the West Bank have in common? Checkpoint! Checkpoint!
    Checkpoint! Checkpoint!
    Checkpoint! Checkpoint!
  4. Why do Palestinians hate playing Mario Kart? Checkpoint!
    Checkpoint!
    Checkpoint!
    Checkpoint!

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Checkpoint One Liners

Which checkpoint one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with checkpoint? I can suggest the ones about passport and certificate.

  1. Why don't Palestinians like racing video games? Because of all the checkpoints.
  2. Jesus Saves ... before every checkpoint, or else he has to start all over.
  3. Why did the stormtrooper always let Jedi nuns through the checkpoint? Force of habit.
  4. Anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint... if you c**... your car into it.

Checkpoint joke, Anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint...

Cheerful Fun Checkpoint Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about checkpoint you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean confirmation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make checkpoint pranks.

Soviet Curfew

A man in Moscow is walking home after his day at work and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and tells him to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.
What did you do that for? he asks.
Curfew violation, the other guard says.
Curfew violation? Curfew isn't for another half hour!
I know. That's my friend. I know where he lives. He never would have made it.

Jewish man gets stopped at a checkpoint in Ireland by two Irishmen with rifles.

Jewish man gets stopped at a checkpoint in Ireland by two Irishmen with rifles.
"Eh, what are ya, protestant or catholic?"
Man: "I'm jewish!"
Guard: (pauses, confers with fellow guard)
"Jewish catholic or jewish protestant?"

A warning to be careful about drunk driving..

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many pints before progressing on to Tequila. Not a good idea.
Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the car park and took a taxi home.
On the way home, I passed a police checkpoint on the freeway. The cops were pulling over cars and performing breath tests. Because I was in a taxi, they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as....
I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..

I'd been out drinking, and knew I'd had way too much to drive my car safely.

I knew there was a breath testing checkpoint between the bar and my place, so I decided to take a bus. Sure enough, when the bus reached the checkpoint we were waved through. This morning though when I woke up, hungover as b**..., there was a d**... bus on my lawn and I don't know what the h**... is going on

I went to a bar for a New Year's celebration and took a cab home.

I went to a bar for a New Year's celebration and took a cab home. Came upon a DUI checkpoint, and when they saw the cab, they just waved us pass. After a while I made it home safely, which is surprising because I've never driven a cab.

Three Muslim women are sitting talking...

The first one says, "I miss my eldest son Ahmed. He was martyred in Iraq last year."
"Oh I know," says the second women, "I miss little Hamza. He drove a car-bomb into a Syrian checkpoint six months ago."
The third woman nodded, "Me too. My Omar was a s**... bomber in Gaza, so sad."
The first woman shook her head sadly. "Kids these days. They blow up so fast."

The last time I went through a TSA checkpoint at an airport I was wearing my contact lenses.

The TSA guy looked at my driver's license, looked at me, and looked at his my driver's license again. He started to turn to get his supervisor. I said "if you want, I'll put my glasses on, I have them with me." He looked bewildered, but he cleared me through all by himself.

Now I understand the whole Superman / Clark Kent thing.

r**... husband and wife are smuggling a couple skunks across the border.

As they approach the border checkpoint the wife panics..."what do I do with these?!" she exclaims while frantically fumbling the skunks
"Quick now Mary Ann, hide them under your skirt!" said the red-neck husband in between his beer c**....
"Now, now whattabout the gadaym stink?!" says Mary Ann...
"If they die, they die hunnycakes"

Checkpoint joke, Jesus Saves