The Best 25 Checkin Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Checkin jokes. There are some checkin boobees jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these checkin doublecheck puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Checkin Jokes and Puns
When checking out at Walmart I always pick the sexiest cashier...
I always end up at self checkout.
A man walks into an airport and says "cluck cluck bacawk"
...and the woman says "no sir, this is the *check*-in desk"
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me
She looked me dead in the eye and said, Window or
aisle?" I laughed in her face and replied, "Window or you'll
what?"
I was checking out at Tesco...
I was checking out at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one item on the conveyor belt... a box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring, but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So, to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said, "Looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages!".
So i was in the queue at the airport and the lady at check-in said "There is a four hour delay" I asked "Why's that?" "The pilot heard a funny noise from the engine..
And it will take us four hours to find a pilot who can't hear it" she said...
A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.
With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.
"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.
"No, sorry, that's our carrion"
I was checking in a hotel, and the guy at reception told me that my room was upgraded.
I said, Sweet!
Reception guy: Exactly Sir.
A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.
"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
I was checking out a Jewish girl the other day.
Her barcode wouldn't scan.
At the airport check-in counter
At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband.
The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them for sitting together.
"Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I *know* what I'm requesting!"
When checking in for his flight, the wedge-tailed eagle was asked: Would you like to check some baggage or purchase an in-flight meal?
The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.
You can explore checkin deposit reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean checkin hive dad jokes. There are also checkin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Air Postal Service
A man sets down three pieces of luggage at a very famous **International Airlines** (*that shall not be named*) check-in counter and says, "I want the brown bag to go to London, the black one to go to Paris," he said. "And keep the third bag here till my return from Australia next week for pick up."
The check-in clerk blinked. A supervisor standing behind him overheard the request and came up. "I am sorry sir, but we are not the **post office**," he said, "we can't do that."
"Why not?" the irate passenger said, raising his voice, "That's what you did the last time!"
Once again, I'm checking out this book "Greek Philosophers: From Aristotle to Zeno"
I've never finished it for some reason.
I was checking for lumps and found a perfectly formed pair of testicles.
God knows what they were doing in my mash potatoes though.
So I was checking out at the store the other day.....
....and the cashier told me my total was $12.47. So I gave her a ten and two ones. She said it wasn't enough so I dug around and gave her a quarter. Still not right she says, so I just grab everything in my pocket and put it on the counter hoping she could help.
As a white man in America, I don't understand change.
Checking your levels
A woman observes her husband as he enters the kitchen, opens the sugar box, looks inside and closes it. He does it again and again. So she asks him why?
He answers: "Because the doctor told me to check my sugar levels regularly."
I was checking out this ant hive, and found a hole with all their young, and the queen deep in thought and anxious.
Apparently, it was her brooding chamber.
Checking out the birth facility
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"
A man brings his dead dog along for an international flight
The check-in attendant tells him:
"Sir, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave either your dog or your backpack."
"What? Why can't I bring both?"
"Rules say only one carrion per customer."
What's a rooster's first stop at a hotel?
The check-in
An Indian couple goes through the Airport Check-in...
Handling Agent: ''How old are you?''
Man: I'm dirty, and my wife is dirty-too
A bloke with one leg is at an ATM
A passerby stops and asks, do you need help mate?
the bloke replies: "Nahh mate cheers jus' checkin me balance"
I think the girl at the American Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, Window or aisle.
I laughed right in her face and replied, Window or you'll what?
I was checking my testicles this morning, and while they weren't exactly the same . . .
. . . I wouldn't say there was a vas deferens
A man walks up to the airport check-in counter...
The check-in agent asks,
"How much baggage do you have?"
The man responds,
"Lots, how much time do you have?"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the checkin fuckin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working checkin beehive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.