Cheated Jokes
146 cheated jokes and hilarious cheated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cheated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article looks at the phenomenon of cheated jokes, the humorous texts people send to those who have been cheated on. Read to see how humor can be a way to be loyal to someone wronged and for the wounded to take control of the situation.
Funniest Cheated Short Jokes
Short cheated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cheated humour may include short cheater jokes also.
- Trump tests positive for COVID-19. He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.
- Husband: I have cheated once Husband: I have cheated once
Wife: me too.
husband: 1st of Apriii....
Wife: 18th of June - My wife found out i was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding... She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again
- My ex-wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend! Honestly, I should have seen the signs.
- I've been cheating on my girlfriend with her twin, but it's OK because I can tell them apart. Brian has a moustache.
- Do you know how Chris Brown's girlfriend found out that he had been cheating on her? She found another girl's lipstick on his fist.
- I think my wife's cheating on me with my best friend. He's been miserable lately. Poor guy.
- Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said "You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said, "No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian." - I told my girlfriend I think she's cheating on me. She told me I sound just like her husband.
- My girlfriend thinks I'm cheating on her, and I'm getting tired of it. She sounds just like my wife
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Cheated One Liners
Which cheated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cheated? I can suggest the ones about caught cheating and betrayed.
- My girlfriend accused me of cheating I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
- A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood
- What did the Bulbasaur say when he found out his wife was cheating on him? Bulbasaur
- I could never cheat in a relationship That would require 2 people to find me attractive
- I cheated on you She: "I cheated on you"
He: "Me too"
She: "April, 1"
He: "March, 20" - Bill Gates to Melinda: "I'll never cheat on you again." "I give you my Word."
- I messaged my ex on the day before my exam. I asked if she had any good cheating tips
- What do you call a knight who cheats on tests? Glancelot
- I saw my sister on Tinder. Can't believe she's cheating on me.
- I cheated on a girl that was a bartender. I hope she gives me another shot.
- I saw my ex while taking a test today wonder if she cheated on that too...
- If I had a nickel for every time my ex wife cheated on me She would have taken that too
- Don't worry about straying from your diet today. It's Tom Brady's cheat day, too.
- Girlfriend: Are you cheating on me? Me: I don't get why you all ask the same question.
- What do you call a jaguar who cheats on his wife? A cheetah..
Cheated On Jokes
Here is a list of funny cheated on jokes and even better cheated on puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the rabbit suspect his wife was cheating on him? He kept finding different hares in his bed.
- My girlfriend keeps insisting that I'm cheating on her. She's starting to sound like my wife.
- I just found out my older wife was cheating on me Turns out she's not a cougar, she's a cheetah
- When I was a kid my younger cousin always cheated at freeze tag, So I wasn't surprised when I heard he got shot by the cops
- I read somewhere that 1 out of 3 people cheat I did the math, and there is a 5/9 chance that either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.
- I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for... She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.
- What's worse than your wife cheating on you with your brother? Your wife cheating on you with her brother.
Source: am from Alabama. - They told him: your girlfriend is cheating on you.. He wiped away his tears & asked : Which one ?
- My wife thinks I'm cheating on her with our babysitter... I think she's just bitter because she's never been able to have kids...
- Did you know that Stalin had a girlfriend that cheated on him? You know what, don't worry about it. She's out of the picture now anyway.
Entertaining Cheated Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about cheated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheating husband jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cheated pranks.
dr seuss cheated on his wife and she ended up killing herself.
One wife, two wife, dead wife, new wife
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three men die, and go to the pearly gates...
St. Peter walks up to the firsts, and he says: "You have lived a good life, but you have cheated on your wife many times. Confess here before your friends, and you will be allowed into heaven."
The man says: "I slept with a different woman every week of my ten-year marriage. I beg for forgiveness."
St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a bicycle. He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin.
The second man says:"I was married for five years, and I slept with a different woman as a lover each year. I beg for forgiveness."
St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a motorcycle. He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin.
The third man says: "I was married for a month, and stayed faithful throughout. Then my wife died, so I committed s**... so I may be with her."
St. Peter tells him: "I know. Follow me." He then leads him to a helicopter, and tells him to enjoy the ride. The man soon enough passes the other two men, who see him land a short distance away. They eventually catch up to him, and see he is crying.
The first two men ask him: "Why are you crying? You have no sins to atone for!"
The third says: "I just saw my wife... She was skateboarding."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wishes
A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.
"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."
"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."
The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *p**...!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"
"Yep," the genie said.
"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *p**...!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"
"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"
She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"
A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye.
She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, "Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."
The guy freaks out. He says, "I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle 3 years ago. You look familiar, but I just can't remember. Who are you?"
She says, "I'm your son's Sunday school teacher."
Bedside Wife
A man was sleeping on his deathbed he woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.
He says "Martha, I have something to confess to you."
She says "No dear, save your energy."
He says " I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."
She says " I know, I poisoned you."
a pregnant woman and a blonde woman...
are talking, and the pregnant woman says that she is pregnant with twins. So the blonde woman asks, "Oh my gosh! You cheated on your husband?? Who's the second father?"
A good joke I heard a while back
A man walks in a church crying and says to the priest " I killed my sister and hid the body. My guilt is killing me what should I do?" The priest responded
"Drink some holy water"
A second guy comes in sobbing and says " I cheated on my wife and I can't tell her." The priest responded
"Go drink some holy water"
A third guy comes on laughing and the priest asks " Why are you laughing?" The man responded
" I peed in the holy water."
2 Poles are watching a Football game...
There is an attack by one team and the first Polish dude says:
-I bet you 20 bucks he will not score
-You are on - Replies the second one.
The attack goes through and the person scores. So the the first
pole reaches for his wallet, but the second one stops him saying:
-I cheated a little, this is a rerun I knew he'd score, keep your money.
-I also watched the game before, though I am still surprised the goalie let the same goal happen twice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys died in a car c**......
There were these two friends, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them. St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied, "I was unfaithful to my wife one time." St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven. Now it was the second man's turn. St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied,"here's a picture of my wife, and I never cheated on her." St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven. After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, "I wouldn't be bragging if I were you. I just saw your wife on a skateboard."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the chemist say when his girlfriend cheated on him?
Dy h**...
GF cheated.Got her fb pass. Giving it away
A farmer finds a shoebox under his wife's side of the bed
The box contained two ears of corn and $4000. He went to his wife
Farmer: What's this?
Wife: I have a confession to make. Whenever I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the box.
The farmer gasps, then thinks "50 years of marriage...only twice..that's not too awful.
Farmer: What about the $4000?
Wife: Whenever I got a bushel I sold it.
My girlfriend cheated on me
I told her to leave the game.
A Marine received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home...
It read as follows:
---
*Michael*,
*I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is too great and too long. I must confess that I have cheated on you twice, and this situation is not fair for either of us. I'm really sorry.*
*Love, Elizabeth*
*P.S. Please return the picture you have of me*
---
The Marine, his feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they had of mothers, sisters, girlfriends, cousins, ex-girlfriends, or aunts they had. After a while he had obtained a sizeable collection, and so he stuffed them all 62 of them into an envelope, including the picture of Elizabeth, along with this letter:
---
*Elizabeth,*
*I can't quite remember what you look like. Please take your picture from the pile and return the rest.*
*Take care, Michael*
I would've felt a lot less cheated...
...if "Charlie's Angels - Coming Soon" was actually the movie they led me to believe it was.
This morning, I was diagnosed with depression in the head.
Me: I cheated on my girlfriend and she found out last night. We broke up.
Doctor: Is this the cause of your depression?
Me: No, I think the chair she threw at me did it.
What did Courtney Love say to Kurt Kobain after finding out he cheated on her?
*"I'll give you one more shot"*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend told me that if I ever cheated on her, it would be worse if it was with a black girl. I told her she was wrong.
It'd only be three-fifths as bad.
Company suspends sponsorship deal with Sharapova after she failed drug test
To protect Volkswagen's excellent brand image.
They can't affiliate with people who might have cheated.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Dutch and a Belgian are sitting in a bar, watching the evening news.
They see a woman ready to jump from the 6th floor, shouting "I'm going to jump, I'm going to jump!". The dutch says: "I bet she's gonna jump." The Belgian replies: "And I bet she won't." So they bet, and the woman jumps. Then the Dutch tells the Belgian: "I have to confess that I cheated, as I already saw it on the 1pm news." - "Me too", says the Belgian, "I saw it on the 1pm news already. But I did not think that she would be s**... enough to jump twice."
I cheated in the annual rabbit racing contest.....
I won by a hare
I cheated on my 24 year old girlfriend
I apologized and told her my mistress is half the woman she is.
"That's because she's 12!", said my girlfriend.
My boyfriend cheated on me
So I convinced him to get matching tattoos... he went first and I went home
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple have a lot of s**...
They challenge each other to see who can have the most s**... in a month. The woman wins.
Some say she cheated.
Two men take a test to see if they can apply to the same job.
Afterwards, the boss walks to the second person.
"We know you cheated off of [the first person]"
"How so?"
"On number 6, he said 'I don't know,' and you said 'I don't know either.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Afterlife for IRS Cheaters
Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a s**..., ugly woman for the next five years.
A few days later, as Tony's walking in the park with his s**..., hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. "John, what happened?" Tony asks.
"I have no idea," John replies. "I was told I have five years of amazing s**... to look forward to. The only thing I don't understand is why she always yells 'Damn income taxes!' whenever we have s**...."
Did you hear about the president that cheated on his wife with a piece of fruit?
He was impeached
Did you hear about the fortune teller that cheated at cards?
I guess that's how the tarotists win.
Teacher asked me if I felt any guilt having cheated through everything in my life.
I said I didn't since I have developed very strong copying mechanisms.
Woman in a bar says to her friend "My boyfriend cheated on me and i don't need a man like that"
Friend : Aww honey what happened
Woman : He said he prefers his wife sometimes.
Did you hear the one about the panda who cheated people of their money?
I heard he bamboozled them
My girlfried cheated on be with another guy
It was really a low blow.
My girlfriend cheated on me with a well-endowed guy.
I forgave her and took her back because I wanted to be the bigger man.
A lot of people keep saying to me Trump cheated the election.
Well, honestly we shouldn't be Russian to collusion's.
My girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend
And when I do the same, I am called a gay
My Bostonian girlfriend cheated on me with multiple people. I thought she wanted to get a bird...
... turns out she had a different cockatoo in mind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend just cheated on me with my best friend
I didn't know that they were into i**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I suspected my wife cheated on me at a Bill Cosby's house party last night...
"No, I didn't have s**... with Bill Cosby"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure I'd remember having s**... with Bill Cosby!"
I once cheated on a litmus test
They found out my answers were PHony though.
What happened to the woman who cheated on her boyfriend who was a cannibal?
He dumped her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Father, I have a confession to make. Yesterday I cheated on my wife with two 18 year old girls."
"Alright. When you get home, squeeze out 18 lemons and drink it all at once."
"And that will free me from my sin?"
"No, but it'll free your face from that dirty smile."
An award is given to families who have 10 children. A man and his wife have 9 children, the husband tells his wife that he cheated on her and that he has another child, he'll go get him and then they can enjoy the money together.
When the man is back home with the child he sees no one in the house. He asks his wife where are the kids? She replied each father came and took his child
My girlfriend always tells me that the one thing she won't tolerate is infidelity...
She would leave, no questions ask, if I ever cheated on her. Thankfully, my wife is a little more lenient.
If nuns cheated at video games...
...they'd prefer using god mode.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Native American girlfriend cheated on me.
Turns out she was a Navaho
My girlfriend asked me if I'd ever cheated.
I admitted that I had, and begged her not to tell my wife.
I cheated on my wife tonight. The guilt is really getting to me... maybe I should confess?
How do I tell her that when she was on the toilet, I took $5000 from the bank and put two houses on Mayfair.
A guy asks his mexican girlfriend if she ever cheated on him, she responds:
No, you're my only juan.
Since everyone knows he cheated, Lance Armstrong will only drink at home now.
He just can't handlebars anymore.
I will never date a woman that hasn't been cheated on before.
I'm not about to be the first person to do that to her.
What's the difference between my ex-wife and my diet?
My diet didn't leave me when I cheated on it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend found a hair on me
"You cheated on me!" She cried
"b**...," I said "I haven't cheated in this shirt."
If Gal Gadot ever cheated on me
I would apologise
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bush cheated using voting machines in Florida during the 2000 election
He s**... with the Al Gore rhythm.
My husband cheated
I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.
Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.
A man ask his wife to tell him how many time she cheated on him when he dies.
The wife accepts.
3 weeks later, the man fakes his death to see his wife reaction.
Wife: Babe, like I promised I'm going to tell you the truth. I only cheated on you twice. Once to get you that job at the bank and the second time to get you that promotion to director.
The man stands up immediately after hearing this.
Man: Honey, can you make me CEO?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend cheated on me while on her period.
The guy just fingered her, I caught him red-handed.
When your a german man and someond asks if you have cheated on your wife and if so how many women with.
Nein.
Stevie Wonder cheated on his wife.
So she rearranged all the furniture at the house.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends Irish wife stayed with him after he cheated on her. Everyone told her she was a fool.
But I guess she was just Dublin down.
I just got laser eye surgery and I can't help but feel cheated
Because I still can't see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I s**... up and cheated with the cute Australian girl from the local sandwich shop.
Now I'm trying to keep it strictly down under wraps.
If I cheated on my wife as much as she thought I did…
I would be more happily married.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once Santa's girlfriend cheated on him and he lost his mind
Now he shouts "h**... h**... h**..." at anyone he sees.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the wife apologise after she cheated on her husband?
Sorry I o**...-acted.
I just passed my ethics exam...
Of course I cheated
College life for introverts
1st year - People are so good to me. I feel I am respected a lot! Friends are bliss!
2nd year - People are distancing from me. I guess they don't like me. I've to find new people I suppose.
3rd year - Should I change my attitude to get friends? I don't know why I get cheated everytime I trust someone.
4th year - Who needs friends? People are useless. Solitude is the best.
I always cheated on my psychology tests...
I don't know what that says about me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Aparently 30% of males go on a diet before going on holiday. I cheated
And just took a fat girlfriend to the beach
[Oh, yeah?] My ex-wife cheated on me with a communist!
...there were so many red flags.
Why did the transgender couple break up?
One cheated on the other while they were abroad.
On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month
How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!
America cheated going to the moon
Did you know Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin cheated going to the moon?
They took a buzz cut.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Recently my gf cheated on me with a space alien
She said the s**... was out of this world
