cheapest Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cheapest puns

What is the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls, they're under a buck.

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What is the cheapest meat?

Deer testicles.

They're under a Buck.

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Whats the cheapest type of meat?

Deer balls, they are under a buck

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I've just ordered an empty cardboard box from Chernobyl.

It was the cheapest microwave I could find.

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What are the cheapest kind of nuts?

Deer nuts, they're under a buck.

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The toilet brush

A man walks into a store looking for a toilet brush. The store owner shows him a variety of brushes at various pricepoints. The man thinks for a little while, then buys the cheapest one.

The next day the man is back at the store. "Were you unhappy with your purchase?" asks the shopkeeper. "We have other models that might work better."

The man agrees and buys a little more expensive one.

The next day the man is back yet again. The shopkeeper, visually puzzled on how a toilet brush can be such a big deal, asks "What's the matter, didn't like the new one either?"

"Well" replies the man. "To be honest it *was* pretty effective. But I gotta say, I prefer toilet paper!"

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( !Dark Humour!) A guy walks in the local whorehouse...

...
says I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money. The guy behind the counter says
How bout the $1.95 cent special?
The customer says ok , and he paid,
headed to the room.
When he opened the door, he found this beautiful whore spread out, just waiting for him.
He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her.
Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears.
He freaked, omg she's sick!
He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happening,
and the guy says
hey John!
The dead one's full again!

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NSFW - Young man goes into a bar after a bad day

A young man goes into a bar and orders six shots of the cheapest vodka. The bartender pours them up and watches as he downs them all. He says, "It looks like you've had a tough day."

"Yep," the young man replies, "I found out my big brother Frank is a homosexual."

"Oh, I see." The bartender leaves him to stew over his troubles.

The next day, the young man comes in again and places the same order.

The bartender asks, "Still worried about your big brother Frank?"

"Well, yes, but today I found out my big brother Bill is also queer."

The next day the young man comes in again and places the same order and the bartender says, "Surely you don't have another brother you found out is a queer."

"Oh no," the young man replies, "today I found out my dad is gay, too."

"Well, it sounds like you've had a rough week. You better be careful though, all that cheap vodka will cause your ass to burn."

"Is that right? And here I was convinced it was the sex."

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Which country has the cheapest prostitutes?

Vietnam. Because over there you need 20840 dongs to make a dollar.

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A guy walks into a whorehouse

He says I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money. The guy behind the counter says How bout the $1.95 cent special? The customer says ok , and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful whore spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, omg she's sick! He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happening, and the guy says hey John! The dead one's full again!

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My company put me up in the cheapest hotel...

I called down to the front desk and said "I've got a leak in my sink."

They said "Go ahead."

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Lifehack .

1. Hire the cheapest prostitute you can find.
2. Take her to a swingers club.
3. Switch with someone's hot wife.

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A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator.

The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. The investigator then follows the wife around. A few days later, the husband finds a note on his car's windshield. He opens it and it reads: *"Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."*

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A wife goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot for the family pet

The wife is given an option and since she doesn't have too much money goes for the cheapest one and wonders why it is cheap. The owner tells her it is because it is from a brothel.

When she arrives home the parrot says: "Another new brothel for sex"
Then when the daughter arrives the parrot says: "A new face has come"

Then when the father comes home, the parrot says: "John, I haven't seen you in weeks, would you like the usual?"

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A very lonely, poor man goes to a brothel.

He sheepishly asks for their cheapest prostitute, admitting that he doesn't have much money. "That's no problem," he's told, "go down the corridor to the door at the end." Following the instructions, he finds himself in a dark room with a girl already in bed waiting for him. He strips off and starts having sex with her, but she spits in his face. He's taken aback, but figuring she's cheap for a reason he carries on. She keeps spitting on him though, and after a few minutes he's had enough, leaves the room and complains to the madam. Apologising, she leans into her office and yells "Dave, the corpse is full."

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The Cheapest Whore You Got

A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money. The guy behind the counter says How bout the $1.95 cent special? The customer says ok , and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful whore spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, omg she's sick! He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happening, and the guy says hey Joe! The dead one's full again!

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My Irish friend Paddy just told me that he robbed a shop last night.

"What did you get?" I asked.

"26 pictures," he smiled, showing me. "The cheapest one is worth over $180,000."

I said, "Dude, these are from an real estate agents."

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A politician needs to hire a engineering company to build a bridge in his city. He's got offers from companies from three different companies:

A Chinese, an American and a Brazilian company.

The representative from the Chinese company says: "I'll do it for $3 million dollars. One million for the workforce, one for supplies and one for my profit. It's cheapest price you will ever find".

The representative from the American company says: "I'll do it for $6 million dollars. Two million for the workforce, two for supplies and two for my profit".

The Brazilian guy says: "I'll do it for $9 millon dollars".

The politician, very surprised, says: "What? Why is it so expensive?"

And the Brazilian answers: "3 million for me, 3 for you and 3 to have the Chinese guy build the bridge".

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So two guys need a car

Two guys head to the car dealership to see if they can get a car, the salesmen shows them a few cars and even the cheapest one is out of their price range, the car salesmen says well follow me I have something that might work and shows them a camel. The two guys after thinking about it decide to take the camel home. The next day they go back to the dealership and explain they lost the camel and want a refund, the car salesmen asks how they could lose a camel. So they explained we were at a stop light and a car pulls up and says hey look at those 2 assholes on that camel so we got off to check it out and the camel ran away.

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What's the cheapest meat available?

Deer testicles, it's under a buck.

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Chinese PI

A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

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A Statistician takes his wife to fancy restaurant

It's their wedding anniversary so the very first thing they do when they sit down is order the most expensive wine in the entire establishment. The waiter, absentmindedly, accidentally grabs a glass of good wine, and a glass of their cheapest, most disgusting wine. As he's leaving after setting them down he hears the wife say to the husband

"This is the best wine I've ever tasted!" to which the husband replied "Really? This tastes like actual horse piss"
Concerned, the waiter returned to the table and asks how the wine tasted

Looking at his wife's glass then his own, the statician replied "It's alright"

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Finally, he had made the perfect AI, a superhuman intelligence, waiting for his orders ...

Finally, he had made the perfect AI, a superhuman intelligence, waiting for his order. It would do whatever he told it to do, and it would do so in the most effective, fastest and cheapest way possible. So he thought, and thought and finally said to the robot, "Robot, I don't want to see any suffering in this world, ever."

Promptly, the robot grabbed the nearby icepick and thrust it in his eyes.

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A guy came to my bar the other day and told me "hey man I don't have much money, can you just give me your cheapest shot?"

. . I said "Yeah, your ugly and your mom dresses you funny".

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Smart blonde joke

Whoah, I know. Here it is: so a blonde walks into a bank and asked to borrow a $500 loan. The bank needs some colleratal so she gives the bank her Rolls Royce. After a couple of months she comes back and promptly pays the loan back. The bank clerk asked why she borrowed the money if she could pay it back easily.
She said, "cheapest parking in San Francisco."

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What's the cheapest meat on the Market?

Dear balls. They're under a buck.

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Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator?

Because they all add up!

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What's the cheapest kind of meat?

Deer testicals they're under a buck.

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United would be the cheapest prostitute.

Even if you don't have enough money when you hop on, they'll still jerk you off.

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Guy walks into a bar...

Guy: I'll take a PBR.

Bartender: draft, bottle, or tallboy?

Guy: what's cheapest?

Bartender: you are.

*don't know if original, but just popped into my head as I sit here drinking my PBR 😊

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That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest. -Henry David Thoreau

Masturbation

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I was looking for the best price for a flight from the UK to the US and found Air India is the cheapest..

Problem is i'm not sure if I can hold on to the outside of the plane for that long.

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Did you know that United Airlines has the cheapest prices!

Therefore, their prices are unbeatable!!!!!!..... but their customers aren't.

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"What wine do you have at this restaurant that you would recommend for an arts student?"

"Vodka. The cheapest brand. And show me the money in advance."

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What's the name of the cheapest vasectomy provider?

UnderCutters

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What are the most funny Cheapest jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cheapest? Well, here are the best Cheapest dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cheapest pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes