The Best 62 Cheaper Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cheaper jokes. There are some cheaper faster jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cheaper insure puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cheaper Jokes and Puns

Why is every gender equality officer female?

Because it is cheaper.

The french invented a new bulletproof vest

That is just as efficient as a regular one but much cheaper: it only covers the soldiers' backs

I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses...

Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!

Cheaper joke, I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses...

Telegram

A dog walked into a telegraph office and said, Woof, woof… woof, woof, woof … woof, woof, woof, woof!

The telegraph operator looked at the dog. Do you know , said he, If you add another 'woof' then the cost of the telegram will be cheaper?"

The dog looked at the telegraph operator and answered, But that wouldn't make sense now, would it?

A husband and Wife from the States visit the Holy Land...

During the trip the wife tragically dies. A funeral director in Israel tells the husband that she can be buried in the holy land for $500, or shipped back to the US for $4000. The husband immediately says, "Let's ship her back to the states." The funeral director asks why, when it's so much cheaper to bury her her. Husband says "Someone else came back to life after 3 days being buried here before, I'd rather not take that chance."


I tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling cause

it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:

1. Your tap water is too hard.

2. Get a water softener.

3. Your dog has ringworm.

4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

5. Your daughter is using cocaine.

6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better.

Cheaper joke, Computer diagnosis

Have you guys heard the secret about butter?

I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...

BONUS:

What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback

*BUHDUMCHHH*

Why is a university Philosophy Department always cheaper to fund than the Math Department?

The math department needs paper, pencils, and a wastebasket.

The philosophy department only needs paper and pencils.

What do you call a dead baby on the side of the road?

Cheaper than a prostitute.

Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons?

Because of inflation

You can explore cheaper quicker reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cheaper price dad jokes. There are also cheaper puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Chemistry Hotel

So I was driving down the road, getting pretty tired on my way home and saw a sign that said "Chemistry Hotel"

the sign said:

*"Cheap Day Rates, and Even Cheaper NO3-'s"*

People who live in Flint should drink gasoline.

It's cheaper than the water and guaranteed unleaded

I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin

Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.

Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?

All their luggage is carrion.

Mom, why am I getting Christmas gifts in July?

Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.

Cheaper joke, Mom, why am I getting Christmas gifts in July?

My friend took his grandmother to one of those health spas where tiny fish eat all the dead skin...

It cost him $300, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral...

So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...

The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be

The Nintendo Lite-Switch


I took my grandmother to a place that for only 45$ they put you in a bath filled with fish that eat the dead skin off :)

It was cheaper than cremation or a burial!

Why is the right twix bar always more expensive ?

That's cause the left uses government funding to make food cheaper for everyone.

Why did Donald Trump decide not to build The Wall and just take a Xanax instead?

Because it's a cheaper and faster cure for hispanic attacks.

I took my grandma to a new spa..

I took my grandmother to a new spa where they have little fish eat away at your dead skin for only $40.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having a funeral.

An Irishman and Donald Trump are reading an article about brain transplants

It says you can get you can a brain transplant from a Irish man for €5000 cheaper than an american.

Trump says "This proves that America is the greatest country ever and Americans are the smartest people ever"

"No it doesnt" says the Irishman "It just means an Americans Brain hasnt been used as much"

Last year I gave over $15,000 to Charity.

I have to find a cheaper hooker...

Can't afford condoms?

Use latex gloves instead. They're cheaper, and you can use them five times.

Women are like fine wines

You can get them cheaper if you go abroad

I fancy having a bit of Rabbit for my dinner tonight.

Could anyone tell me if it's cheaper from a Butchers or a pet shop.?

My girlfriend said she found some new condoms she wanted to try using...

but I still think it'll be cheaper to keep having sex with the used ones

Lost my job at the pet store on the very first day

A lady came in to buy a spider, I told her she could get one cheaper off the web

Dark

I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.Β 
Β 
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

I took my dad to one of them spas where the fish eat your dead skin.

It was Β£30 but cheaper than a funeral

I always tip pregnant waitresses more.

It's cheaper than child support.

Last week I took my grandma to the spa

For 20 bucks they have this tiny fish that eat off your dead cells. It was way cheaper than funeral

With petrol prices now at Β£1.30 a litre

...it's actually cheaper to buy cocaine and run everywhere instead

Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.

Not today, satin.

Not today.

I think it's inappropriate for men to make fun of the gender wage gap; to ignore and minimize it, or to make cheap jokes about it.

Also, you could easily find some women to make those same jokes way cheaper.

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

I used to call my ex Gillette, because she was the best a man can get...

Until I realized I can get better for cheaper.

The other day, we took my Grandpa to one of those spas where the fish eat your dead flesh.

It's a lot cheaper than cremation.

They said a hooker would be cheaper than a girlfriend in the long run.

But it still cost me my marriage.

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

Mommy, why do I get Christmas presents in August?

Mom: They are cheaper than chemotherapy.

What is cheaper? Deer nuts or beer nuts?

Deer nuts, because they are always under a buck.

Crude Oil massage

Barber : shoul I massage ur head ?

Me : ok, which oil will u use ?

Barber : Almond Oil is for 250β‚Ή

Me : herbal oil ?

Barber: 150β‚Ή

Me: Coconut Oil

Barber : 100β‚Ή

Me : anything cheaper than this ?

Barber *to his helper* : chhotu, get that barrel of crude oil

A guy tried lifting 40 pound dumbbells

"This is too much." He decided.

He spent his money on cheaper dumbbells

Took grandma to a spa where they have fish eat your dead skin

It was cheaper than paying for a funeral.

I've been smoking weed for most of my life, and today I quit cold turkey.

I'll make do with the much cheaper chicken cold cuts and put the extra money towards buying more weed.

Cheaper Pub in the World

Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint;

β€ŸThat will be $0.05 please sir .

β€ŸWow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too

β€ŸCertainly, that will be $0.03 sir .

β€ŸDamnnn, OK and a packet of crisps .

β€Ÿ0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together .

β€ŸThis is astonishing, can I speak to the owner of this place, I would like to thank him .

β€ŸOh, not just now, he is busy, he is upstairs with my wife .

β€Ÿ...What is he doing upstairs with your wife?

β€ŸSame thing I'm doing down here with his business .

So I did some research...

and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...

Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.

I was on a trip to Dubai, and in my stay, I met a rich man

Over time, we actually became friends, and he told me about this shoes company he owns.
He said:

Each pair of shoes we manufacture costs us about 2$, and we manage to sell them for 250$

What?! this is insane, why is it so expensive, ? I asked

Well I actually tried to make them cheaper for 25$ each

Then what happend?

People stopped buying them

After calling 5 different home security companies...

....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.

My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together

We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.

It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular funeral.

A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who ticks a box that says they promise not to eat shellfish.

They call it their No Clams Bonus.

An old man is talking to his grandson about how things were cheaper when he was a boy

He said that when he was a boy he could walk into a shop with Β£5 and walk out with a loaf of bread and milk coffee a tub of butter some bacon a pack of cigarettes and a news paper. The boy said that's amazing can I do that. The old man said no. You can't do that nowadays there are too many security cameras.

My wife asked me why Russia has paid family leave while the US does not...

I explained that in Russia life is hard and adults need to be incentivized to produce more kids.

But in America, if we want more kids, we just have to let some immigrants out of their cages. Much cheaper.

I came into some money today.

A tissue would have been cheaper.

Why is every "Gender Equality Officer" a female?

They're cheaper.

A 7 year old kid happily asks him mum

Kid: Mummy, why am I getting my Christmas present on 18th August?

Mum: Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy, son.

Why is it cheaper to throw a party in a haunted house?

Because the ghosts will bring the boos

Damn

A guy was planning his holiday with his travel agent...

Last year you suggested The Maldives and when I returned my wife was pregnant. The year before that you suggested a safari in Africa and when I returned my wife was pregnant. And before that you suggested Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant. Can you suggest somewhere cheaper this year so that I can take her with me!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cheaper buy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cheaper cheap piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes