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Cheaper Jokes

122 cheaper jokes and hilarious cheaper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cheaper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover economical and affordable jokes with results quicker and cheaper than you ever thought possible. A must-read for anyone looking for a laugh without breaking the bank.

Funniest Cheaper Short Jokes

Short cheaper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cheaper humour may include short cheapest jokes also.

  1. My daughter wants a pet spider for her birthday I went to the pet store, and the owner said "that'll be $200 please", I said "$200?, it'll be cheaper getting one off the web".
  2. After calling 5 different home security companies... ....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.
  3. I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
  4. Why is it cheaper to throw a party in a haunted house? Because the ghosts will bring the boos
  5. Dark I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. 
     
    It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
  6. A 7 year old kid happily asks him mum Kid: Mummy, why am I getting my Christmas present on 18th august?
    Mum: Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy, son.
  7. After seeing the price of insurance these days I've decided it's cheaper to just get robbed
  8. I took my grandma to a new spa.. I took my grandmother to a new spa where they have little fish eat away at your dead skin for only $40.
    It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
  9. I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses... Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!
  10. My daughter asked for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet store. They cost $30! That's way too expensive.
    I can get one much cheaper off of the web.

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Cheaper One Liners

Which cheaper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cheaper? I can suggest the ones about easier and affordable.

  1. Why is every gender equality officer female? Because it is cheaper.
  2. Mom, why am I getting christmas gifts in July? Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.
  3. Why are diversity officers in progressive companies always women? Because it is cheaper.
  4. Why is every "Gender Equality Officer" a female? They're cheaper.
  5. What is cheaper? Deer nuts or beer nuts? Deer nuts, because they are always under a buck.
  6. Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons? Because of inflation
  7. I tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling cause it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.
  8. Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures? All their luggage is carrion.
  9. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.
  10. Drink dont drive Liquor is cheaper than gas
  11. Women are like fine wines You can get them cheaper if you go abroad
  12. I always tip pregnant waitresses more. It's cheaper than child support.
  13. I came into some money today. A tissue would have been cheaper.
  14. What's cheaper than a wall? Landmines.
  15. Took my Grandma to a nibble fish spa.. It's cheaper than burial or cremation!

Cheaper Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny cheaper than jokes and even better cheaper than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The other day, we took my Grandpa to one of those spas where the fish eat your dead flesh. It's a lot cheaper than cremation.
  • Why is the right twix bar always more expensive ? That's cause the left uses government funding to make food cheaper for everyone.
  • Mommy, why do I get Christmas presents in August? Mom: They are cheaper than chemotherapy.
  • Chemistry Hotel So I was driving down the road, getting pretty tired on my way home and saw a sign that said "Chemistry Hotel"
    the sign said:
    *"Cheap Day Rates, and Even Cheaper NO3-'s"*
  • Can't afford condoms? Use latex gloves instead. They're cheaper, and you can use them five times.
  • I took my grandmother to a place that for only 45$ they put you in a bath filled with fish that eat the dead skin off :) It was cheaper than cremation or a burial!
  • People who live in Flint should drink gasoline. It's cheaper than the water and guaranteed unleaded
  • Why did Donald Trump decide not to build The Wall and just take a Xanax instead? Because it's a cheaper and faster cure for hispanic attacks.
  • The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be The Nintendo Lite-Switch
  • A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who ticks a box that says they promise not to eat shellfish. They call it their No Clams Bonus.
Cheaper joke, A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who <a href="/ticks-jokes.html" titl

Quirky and Hilarious Cheaper Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about cheaper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean faster jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cheaper pranks.

The french invented a new bulletproof vest

That is just as efficient as a regular one but much cheaper: it only covers the soldiers' backs

Telegram

A dog walked into a telegraph office and said, Woof, woof… woof, woof, woof … woof, woof, woof, woof!
The telegraph operator looked at the dog. Do you know , said he, If you add another 'woof' then the cost of the telegram will be cheaper?"
The dog looked at the telegraph operator and answered, But that wouldn't make sense now, would it?

A husband and Wife from the States visit the Holy Land...

During the trip the wife tragically dies. A f**... director in Israel tells the husband that she can be buried in the holy land for $500, or shipped back to the US for $4000. The husband immediately says, "Let's ship her back to the states." The f**... director asks why, when it's so much cheaper to bury her her. Husband says "Someone else came back to life after 3 days being buried here before, I'd rather not take that chance."

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

Have you guys heard the secret about butter?

I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
BONUS:
What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback
*BUHDUMCHHH*

Why is a university Philosophy Department always cheaper to fund than the Math Department?

The math department needs paper, pencils, and a wastebasket.
The philosophy department only needs paper and pencils.

With oil prices falling...

Burning the midnight oil just got cheaper.

Motel Deal

My wife and I were travelling cross country when we stopped in a tiny town for the night. There was only one motel.
I walked into the office and asked the clerk, "How much for one night?"
He answered, "Sixty dollars."
"Sixty dollars?" I shouted. "Don't you have anything cheaper?"
"Sure," he said. "You can get a room for half price if you don't mind making your own bed."
I agreed that this was fine.
So they put us in a room with a pile of lumber and a hammer and some nails...

A woman gave birth in a Barnes & Noble.

Out of habit, the parents looked over the newborn baby, then went home and bought a cheaper baby on Amazon

Manufacturing Landmines

I started manufacturing Landmines in my basement thinking that it'd be cheaper than buying them, but it still cost me an arm and a leg

What do you call a dead baby on the side of the road?

Cheaper than a p**....

I don't support the gay lifestyle in San Francisco

It's way too expensive there. They should move to somewhere a lot cheaper so they can save more money.

My friend took his grandmother to one of those health spas where tiny fish eat all the dead skin...

It cost him $300, but it was a lot cheaper than a f**......

Why are radios cheaper in Scotland?

Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried.

Who sell the products cheaper – a manufacturer or a distributor?

The store guard.

I finally found out why guys get married

because wives are cheaper than spending all you're money on w**....

So Donald Trump is only getting $1 a year as president?

You could probably get an immigrant to do a better job for a cheaper price.

So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...

Cashews are expensive, almonds are expensive. Peanuts are cheaper. How about deer nuts?

You find them under a buck.

Why is going to a football game cheaper than going to a concert?

With the concert, you get to see Nickelback but with the football game, you get to see your quarterback.

Trump shut down an Obamacare provision which gave people better and cheaper access to contraceptives.

While becoming the best case as to why contraceptives are extremely necessary in the first place.

My girlfriend asked if she could get plastic surgery on her face.

I told her "Honey, why would you ever feel the need to get plastic surgery?
Paper bags are much cheaper."

I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having a f**....

An Irishman and Donald Trump are reading an article about brain transplants

It says you can get you can a brain transplant from a Irish man for €5000 cheaper than an american.
Trump says "This proves that America is the greatest country ever and Americans are the smartest people ever"
"No it doesnt" says the Irishman "It just means an Americans Brain hasnt been used as much"

Last year I gave over $15,000 to Charity.

I have to find a cheaper h**......

What's the difference between the Justice League reshoots and unlocking all the heroes in Battlefront 2?

One was only slightly cheaper than the other.

I fancy having a bit of Rabbit for my dinner tonight.

Could anyone tell me if it's cheaper from a Butchers or a pet shop.?

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, why am I getting a Christmas gift in August?"

The mom answers:
\- Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.

My girlfriend said she found some new condoms she wanted to try using...

but I still think it'll be cheaper to keep having s**... with the used ones

Lost my job at the pet store on the very first day

A lady came in to buy a spider, I told her she could get one cheaper off the web

I took my dad to one of them spas where the fish eat your dead skin.

It was £30 but cheaper than a f**...

My son kept begging me to take him to an aquarium...

So I brought him to a McDonald's. There's tons of big whales and it's much cheaper!

Bananas are like foreign-country workers.

They're best yellow, but a lot cheaper if you buy the black.

Last week I took my grandma to the spa

For 20 bucks they have this tiny fish that eat off your dead cells. It was way cheaper than f**...

With petrol prices now at £1.30 a litre

...it's actually cheaper to buy c**... and run everywhere instead

Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.

Not today, satin.
Not today.

If you ever want to host a great but inexpensive party, have it in some catacombs.

I hear it's cheaper for Wights.

I think it's inappropriate for men to make fun of the gender wage gap; to ignore and minimize it, or to make cheap jokes about it.

Also, you could easily find some women to make those same jokes way cheaper.

I used to call my ex Gillette, because she was the best a man can get...

Until I realized I can get better for cheaper.

Beer cheaper than water in Oakland.

Unfortunately there's a catch, you have to go to a Raiders game.

They said a h**... would be cheaper than a girlfriend in the long run.

But it still cost me my marriage.

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50
Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

There is one advantage to being an anti-vaxxer.

Child cemetery plots are way cheaper than adult ones.

Crude Oil massage

Barber : shoul I massage ur head ?
Me : ok, which oil will u use ?
Barber : Almond Oil is for 250₹
Me : herbal oil ?
Barber: 150₹
Me: Coconut Oil
Barber : 100₹
Me : anything cheaper than this ?
Barber *to his helper* : chhotu, get that barrel of crude oil

Audi's are more expensive than they have to be.

The German luxury car maker could sell much cheaper cars if they stopped shipping them with all those extra accessories that the owners never use anyways, like rear view mirrors, turn signals, side-view mirrors...

What type of parachute did the depressed person bought?

The cheaper one, because the cheaper it is, the more likely it is to last a lifetime.

I bought a coin press from the UK

It was cheaper to ship from UK to EU than to buy locally.
But now that I'm looking at the manual, it doesn't make cents.

A guy tried lifting 40 pound dumbbells

"This is too much." He decided.
He spent his money on cheaper dumbbells

Took grandma to a spa where they have fish eat your dead skin

It was cheaper than paying for a f**....

I've been smoking w**... for most of my life, and today I quit cold turkey.

I'll make do with the much cheaper chicken cold cuts and put the extra money towards buying more w**....

Cheaper Pub in the World

Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint;
‟That will be $0.05 please sir .
‟Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too
‟Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir .
‟Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps .
‟0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together .
‟This is astonishing, can I speak to the owner of this place, I would like to thank him .
‟Oh, not just now, he is busy, he is upstairs with my wife .
‟...What is he doing upstairs with your wife?
‟Same thing I'm doing down here with his business .

So I did some research...

and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...
Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.

I was on a trip to Dubai, and in my stay, I met a rich man

Over time, we actually became friends, and he told me about this shoes company he owns.
He said:
Each pair of shoes we manufacture costs us about 2$, and we manage to sell them for 250$
What?! this is insane, why is it so expensive, ? I asked
Well I actually tried to make them cheaper for 25$ each

Then what happend?
People stopped buying them

My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together

We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.
It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular f**....

An old man is talking to his grandson about how things were cheaper when he was a boy

He said that when he was a boy he could walk into a shop with £5 and walk out with a loaf of bread and milk coffee a tub of butter some bacon a pack of cigarettes and a news paper. The boy said that's amazing can I do that. The old man said no. You can't do that nowadays there are too many security cameras.

My wife asked me why Russia has paid family leave while the US does not...

I explained that in Russia life is hard and adults need to be incentivized to produce more kids.
But in America, if we want more kids, we just have to let some immigrants out of their cages. Much cheaper.

Cheaper joke, My wife asked me why Russia has paid family leave while the US does not...