Chauffeur Jokes
61 chauffeur jokes and hilarious chauffeur puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chauffeur that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chauffeur Short Jokes
Short chauffeur jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chauffeur humour may include short taxi driver jokes also.
- Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it...
- My friend just hired a limo for £1000 but it didn't come with a driver Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it
- My friend has been a limo driver for 20 years and has never had a customer. All this time and nothing to Chauffeur it.
- I spent all my cash renting a limo and it didn't come with a driver. Wasted all that money and nothing to chauffeur it.
- A company just rented me a limo for $300, but I just found out that it doesn't come with a driver. So I have a limo but nothing to chauffeur it.
I'll show myself out.., - I spent all day working on a bunch of puns about limousine drivers. But I still have nothing to chauffeur it.
- My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver ! Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it
- fire the chauffeur! Wife: "I'm gonna fire our chauffeur!!! He's such a pathetic driver, this is the third time he almost got me killed...."
Husband: "Dear, lets give him another chance." - Did you hear about the limo driver who drove for 20 years but never found a client? All that time wasted with nothing to chauffeur it.
- Did you hear about the guy who blew his entire lottery winnings on a limousine? He had nothing left to chauffeur it.
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Chauffeur One Liners
Which chauffeur one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chauffeur? I can suggest the ones about cab driver and bus driver.
- I hired a Russian chauffeur the other day... his name was Pikup Andropov
- I had to fire my driver today So now I have all this money, and nothing to chauffeur it.
- The limo driver opened an animal hide gallery. The chauffeur show furs
- I used to be a personal driver in France But now I have nothing to chauffeur it...
- I really want to drive private or hired cars. But I don't have anything to chauffeur it.
- Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs? Because they're good at picking their drivers.
- You know how they say that people can drive you crazy? My wife is my chauffeur.
- Did you hear about my Russian chauffeur? His name is Pikop Andropov.
- Why was the cab driver contemplating his life? Because he had nothing to chauffeur.
- What do you call a hard working man from whose chauffeur is from seoul? Korea driven.
- The taxi driver worked dilligently for 45 years but he had nothing to chauffeur it.
- What do you call a limo driver who gets his car stolen? Nothing to chauffeur.
- What drives the rich & powerful to r**...? their chauffeurs
- What do you call a chauffeur who has s**... with his clients? A screwdriver.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Chauffeur Jokes
What funny jokes about chauffeur you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean limo driver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chauffeur pranks.
OC: What does a limo driver and a hairy stripper have in common?
They both get paid to chauffeur. (show fur)
Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer?
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
I'm pretty sure this is the joke that will yield me my fortune.
Did you hear about the limo driver who went 25 years without a customer?
All that time, and nothing to chauffeur it...
My friend got a nice new ride, but no one wants to drive him around in it
Now he's got all that car and nothing to chauffeur it.
For Valentines Day my friend got a set of bracelets, a chauffeured ride around town, free meal and place to spend the night and still complained.
probably because he was arrested.
A woman holding her baby gets on the bus
The chauffeur looks at it and says:
"That has to be the most ugly baby I've ever seen!"
Furious, the woman walks to the back of the bus and says to a man next to her:
"The driver just rudely insulted me!"
The man says:
"You don't have to allow that! Go and say something to him. While you do that, I'll hold on to your monkey."
A large car with chauffeur
A boyfriend is watching TV when his girlfriend walks into the room
Gf: "I want to go to the mall to go shopping, wanna bring me?"
Boyfriend sighs
Bf: "How would you like it if you went in a large car with a chauffeur?"
Gf: "That sounds great!"
Bf: "Well, the bus leaves in 5 minutes."
My new Rolls Royce
I just bought a vintage Rolls Royce, but the budget didn't cover a driver.
So I spent all that money, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it.
Microsoft's designated Chauffeur was killed
in a car accident. Unfortunately he was to blame for it...
Now, the company needs a driver update.
Why did the actor that employed a dwarf to drive him around never get any role?
Because he had too little to chauffeur himself.
Why shouldn't you spend all of your money on an invisible limousine?
Because then you won't have anything to chauffeur it.
My friend was a limo driver and he couldn't find any people to pick up...
All this time and nothing to chauffeur it.
An aristocrat Bostonian lady hired a new chauffeur. As they started out on their first drive, she inquired:
"What is your name?"
"Thomas, ma'am," he answered.
"What is your last name," she said. "I never call chauffeurs by their first names."
"Darling, ma'am," he replied.
"Drive on - Thomas," she said.
(Rapp, Albert 1951. On the Origins of Wit and Humor. New York: Dutton. Pages 49-50)
I've been a limousine driver for 25 years
All that time and I've got nothing to chauffeur it
Trump fires his chauffeur
"You're fired! This is the second time this week you've almost killed me!"
"Please, Mr. Trump, give me one more chance"
Prince Philip had a car accident and his Range Rover was written off.
All that money and nothing to chauffeur it
A wealthy woman comes back home to her husband...
A wealthy woman comes back home to her husband, she is panting and shaking.
_Wife:_ We have to fire the chauffeur, it's the second time he's tried to kill me!
_Husband:_ Come on, honey. You gotta give him another chance!
New user: "How come my new printer doesn't work in Linux?" Linus: "You need the right driver."
"My chauffeur's outside."
Sean Connery was very rude to his guests, and treated his driver terribly
I went to his house once and he didn't even offer me a seat. He just kept asking if I wanted to s**... on his chauffeur
Big dreams
Some people wanna have enough money to buy a bike. Others a car. Others would like to be rich enough to hire a chauffeur. However I dream bigger than that, I wanna be able to afford an ambulance ride in the United States
car service outrage
I recently paid $300 for a limousine and I just found out the fee doesn't include a driver.
I can't believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.
I bought a very expensive limousine but couldn't afford to hire a driver.
Spent all my money and had nothing to chauffeur it.
I once hired a limo but when it arrived, the guy driving it walked off!
I said "Excuse me? Are you not going to drive me?"
The guy told me that the price didn't include a driver…
… so I'd spent £400 on a limo and have nothing to chauffeur it!
I once hired a limo
*I once hired a limo but when it arrived, the guy driving it walked off!*
*I said "Excuse me? Are you not going to drive me?"*
*The guy told me that the price didn't include a driver…*
*… so I'd spent £400 on a limo and have nothing to chauffeur it!*
I bought an expensive limousine but had no one to drive it.
Spent all that money and nothing to chauffeur it.
