Great Chase Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
Just got 15 Valentines cards! It's left me completely breathless...
The security guard in Clintons Cards gave me quite a chase
A Trooper tries to pull over this guy...
When he just speeds up and a chase ensues, when the trooper finally manages to pull him over, he asks him "didn't you see me trying to pull you over? Why did you take off?" To which the guy responds "sir, a while back my wife ran off with a trooper & I was afraid you're bringing her back"....
Running from a bear...
A hiker surprises a large Grizzly in the woods. The Bruin gives chase and as the man crashed blindly through the brush, he suddenly finds himself standing on a precipice overlooking a deep canyon. The bear is nearly upon him when the man in desperation shouts to the heavens, "Lord, give this bear some religion!" At that moment the bear drops to his knees in earnest prayer, "Our heavenly Father, Thank you for this meal I'm about to receive..."
A Blonde A Brunette and A Redhead trespassed onto a farm
later a farmer came to chase them out so they all went hiding in the barnyard. The redhead hid with the pigs and said "oink" "oink", the brunette hid with the cows and said "moo" moo", and the blonde hid under a potato sack and said "potato" potato"
So a man walks past a Häagen-Dazs...
... when he notices the store owner hastily chasing some robins who were just relaxing under the sun.
The man inquired "Why did you chase them away? They were just trying to get some sun".
The store owner replied "True, but they're Baskin Robbins"
What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds?
Chevy Chase.
During the shooting of a movie...
Director: Now we'll let the lion out of the cage and he'll chase but don't worry he won't eat you.
Actor: What makes you so sure?
Director: It's in the script.
Actor: Has the lion read the script?
70 year old man asked his wife...
Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself,
Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
I had a dog that always used to chase people on motorcycles
In the end I had to take the keys off him
This is how good my dog is, LOL.
I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don't chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers.
You can explore chase speed reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chase overtake dad jokes. There are also chase puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My dog used to chase after people on bike
So I took the bike away from him.
I had to chase a mugger after he stole my wallet
He really gave me a run for my money!
I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes.
It amazed me how s**... and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
Why did the chip chase the sauce?
To ketchup
Why did the dog chase the bulldozer?
It doesn't like Cats.
Why are rubber tires black?
So the police know what to shoot at during a chase
A n**... man broke into a church this morning...
After a 30 minute chase, the police finally caught him by the o**....
More girls chase after me everyday than Leonardo, Channing Tatum and Ronaldo combined
-Bus driver
Chase releases new feature option to have your balance text to you daily
I just wish they didn't add "lol" at the end of it.
I just watched a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered and his son is left physically disabled...
...Then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Finding Nemo is a real thriller!
My friends are baffled that I gave up the single life for my European wife and wonder why I don't chase girls anymore.
It's because she keeps me in Czech.
If the last Wolverine movie is a cross country chase...
then why isn't it called Logan's Run?
I just got over 15 Valentines cards! It left me breathless...
The security guard at the Hallmark store gave quite a chase.
Everyone always told me to chase my dreams
Now Emma Watson has a restraining order against me.
My friend asked me why would you chase a girl that already has a boyfriend?
I replied I would rather compete against o**... than the whole world
The best soccer team in the world
We will put g**... as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.
Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.
Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.
And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.
My dog likes to chase people on a bike.
I got frustrated from all the complaints so I took the bike away from him.
What is the difference between a pet dog and a pet tree?
The bark is much quieter and throwing a stick for it to Chase is seriously messed up
TIL a tiger would chase down your vehicle leaving his family behind, but a lion would never do that.
Because it would hurt his pride
What does a catfish chase after?
A string ray!
I was once chased by a group of angry feminists
Luckily there was a flight of stairs so I was able to get out of their grasp
dog keeps chasing people...
I've really had it with my dog, says a guy to his neighbour. He'll chase anyone on a bicycle.
Hmmm, that is a problem, says the neighbour. What are you going to do about it?
Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!
If you are chased by a bunch of Taxidermists
Don't play dead
The girl I'm dating said she wanted to be treated like a princess.
So I hired some paparazzi to chase her and she died in a car c**....
If you're ever chased by a pack of taxidermists
DO NOT play dead.
My dog loves to chase people on bikes.
I finally had no choice but to take his bike away.
My dog used to chase after everyone who went past my yard on a bike
It was so bad that I had to take away his bike.
If you're ever being chased by a bear or a cougar, quickly lay on the ground for 5 seconds.
Have you ever heard of the 5 second rule?
I once saw the police running after a man in his underwear
It was a brief chase.
Did you know that dogs chase their tails clockwise in the southern hemisphere and counter-clockwise in the northern hemisphere?
It's called the Corgi-olis Effect.
Dog Chasing People On A Bike
My dog used to chase people on a bike like crazy. It was so bad, I had to take his bike away.
So my dog used to chase people on bikes a lot.
It got so bad that I decided to take his bike from him.
My dog used to chase people on a bike
It got so bad I had to take his bike away
Just won the most exciting rock papers scissors match I've ever had
The cop said "Papers" I said "scissors" and inmeditaly after that I drove the f#@€ away.
He must have been crazy for a Rematch because he chase me for 10 min!
How to make girls chase you ?
Take their purse and run.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot
Yeah,my dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
My date and I had moved onto the topic of movies...
"I love car chase action scenes", she said.
Me, a fruit stand vendor: "I think we're done here."
How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the garden
I Was Chased By a Serial Killer
He backed me into a corner. There's nothing you can do! You're about to die!
You sound just like my doctor!
Had to chase away a perverted peeping tom from my neighbour's window today
Nobody steps on my patch
A cop lights me up for speeding
Im driving down the road and a cop lights me up
So I took off and made him chase me awhile..
Finally I give up and pull over.
The cop walks up and says, "Look, its the end of my tour, Im tired,
I dont feel like doing paperwork, If you give me a good excuse, Ill let ya go"
So I say "Last week my girl left me and ran off with a cop,
I thought you were trying to bring her back"
Movies
Friend 1: I just watched a film in which a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and has to chase thr kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Friend 2 : Uhhh....what was it called?
Friend 1: Finding Nemo
I finally realise why it's called a wild goose chase
You're taking a gander somewhere you shouldn't.
A 90 Year Old gentleman visits the doctor's office and says
**"Doc, I want to live another 20 years"**
The Doctor asks:
*"Do you drink?"*
**"No"**
*"Do you smoke?"*
**"No"**
*"Do you do any drugs?"*
**"No"**
*"Do you chase women?"*
**"No"**
*"Then why do you want to live another 20 years?!"*
The amount of Valentine's day cards I got this year has left me breathless.
Turns out the card shop has a security guard and he gives a good chase.
I was being chased by a criminal but thankfully I had some strawberry spread
I was able to jam the door shut
What would you say to someone when you're busy looking for Captain Marvel's cat?
That you're on a wild Goose chase.
Two d**...
I walked past a K9 police unit ghe other day and said to my girlfriend: Look, this doggy is walking around with two d**....
To my credit, both policemen checked under the doggo before attempting to chase me.
Warning: Dad joke for kids inside.
What do Skye, Chase, Marshall and Rubble use to power their vehicles?
Paw Petrol.
I once chased out a guy who was trying to steal meat cooking in one of the ovens
You meet a lot of strange people at the Morgue
Every time I chase the birds away from our backyard, my wife gets triggered.
She calls it my crow aggression.
Living to 90
So a guy asks his doctor, "Do you think I'll live to 90?"
The doctor says, "Well, that depends. Do you drink?"
"No."
"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"Do you gamble?"
"No."
"Do you chase women?"
"No."
"Well," says the doctor, "let me ask you this: Why the h**... do you want to live to 90?"
I have the world's most frustrated pet
My turtle likes to chase cars.
My father used to chase skirts all over the world...
But when he got to Scotland, oh boy was he surprised.
Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70
When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered, "Why should I be upset? Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."
Girls always want guys to chase after them
But when I'm holding a knife, apparently it's wrong
If you are being chased by a serial killer.
Both of you are running for your life.
During a police chase a man left a car in an embankment at the side of the road
The police say he ditched it.
Who is Ghlislane Maxwells favorite American Football player?
Chase Young
TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed.
It's called gluten tag.
What do you call a deer with no legs ?
Anything you want, it can't chase after you
Today I got 150 Valentines cards, I was totally shocked and breathless
The security guard at Hallmark gave quite a chase!
People keep telling me to chase my dreams
Why would I run toward a math test I didn't study for when I'm n**...?
A 70 year old man asked his wife: "do you feel sad when u see me running after the young girls?"
wife replied : no, not at all. every dogs chase cars they can't drive
Dropped $10 and the wind caught it, I had to chase it down the road..
I never caught it but I had a good run for my money.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?
You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.
My crush: I like car chase action scenes.
Me, a fruit stand vendor: I think we're done here.
I was chased out of a gender reveal party yesterday...
How was I supposed to know it was just about the baby?
A bear dad and a bear mum are getting worried as they found their cub doesn't like meat...
So, the dad showed him how to catch salmons from a river, roared, and bite them with his sharp teeth.
Showing no interest at all, the cub turned to his mum.
The mum then showed him how to chase a rabbit, grabbed the rabbit on its neck, and bite on it.
The cub seems excited this time, he chased a smaller rabbit, grabbed it on its neck, showed his teeth to it, and roared, "give me your carrot".
My dog used to chase people on a bike all the time.
It got so bad that I finally had to take his bike away.
In the northern hemisphere, small dogs chase their tails clockwise, but in the southern hemisphere, they chase them counter-clockwise.
This is due to the corgiolis effect.
I was being followed last night, so I drove all the way to the police station.
"Well done for handing yourself in," said the officer. "You gave us a good chase."
