The Best 29 Chas Jokes

You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?

You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.

If you're ever chased by a pack of taxidermists

DO NOT play dead.

Chastity Belt

So, this guy was going to Crusade. He put on a chastity belt on his wife, gave the key to his best friend and said, "if I don't come back in 3 years, set her free." He starts off on his horse. After a while, he sees a big cloud of dust behind him. Someone was riding his horse really fast. So, he waits. The horse catches up to him. It's his best friend.

"You gave me the wrong key", yells his friend.

I was chased out of a gender reveal party yesterday...

How was I supposed to know it was just about the baby?

If you are being chased by a serial killer.

Both of you are running for your life.

Chasing your dreams is a terrible idea...

At least that's what my restraining order says.

I had to chase a mugger after he stole my wallet

He really gave me a run for my money!

A Chassidic Jew walks into a bar...

He's wearing a long black frock coat, his ear locks are curled and dangling, and he's got a large bullfrog just sitting on his shoulder. The bartender turns around, sees him, and says, "hey, where'd you get that thing?" The bullfrog croaks, "in Brooklyn, there's hundreds of them!"

I Was Chased By a Serial Killer

He backed me into a corner. There's nothing you can do! You're about to die!

You sound just like my doctor!

I often chastise my conservative grandpa for stereotyping black people..

I mean how rude it is to pick on jobless people raised by single mothers...

I was once chased by a group of angry feminists

Luckily there was a flight of stairs so I was able to get out of their grasp

Had to chase away a perverted peeping tom from my neighbour's window today

Nobody steps on my patch

If you are chased by a bunch of Taxidermists

Don't play dead

Chaste and Nike

Q. Why do the chaste not wear Nike?

A. Because they're never ready to "Just Do It".

I was being chased by a criminal but thankfully I had some strawberry spread

I was able to jam the door shut

If you're ever being chased by a bear or a cougar, quickly lay on the ground for 5 seconds.

Have you ever heard of the 5 second rule?

Chase releases new feature option to have your balance text to you daily

I just wish they didn't add "lol" at the end of it.

I keep chasing my dreams

Then I realise I'm on a treadmill

I once chased out a guy who was trying to steal meat cooking in one of the ovens

You meet a lot of strange people at the Morgue

I always chase my Dreams

With hard liquor.

If you're being chased by a pack of taxidermists.

Don't play dead.

If you're chased by two poorly distinguished clauses

make a dash for it

How did Chastity Bono become Chas Bono?

By removing the tity

chasing tornados is fun

until you catch one.

If you get chased by a monster, you can hide out under there.

I just made you think underwear

I was chasing a squirrel in my back yard. The squirrel ran up a tree.

My car was totaled.

I always get chased by good ideas

But I'm faster

If being chased by the cops

Chase Elliott will never win a Sprint Cup Series race.

He will win a Monster Energy Cup Series race.