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Chart Jokes

68 chart jokes and hilarious chart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is about chart jokes – funny one-liners about different kinds of charts like pie chart, flow chart, eye chart, periodic chart, Gantt chart and bar chart! Read about funny exam jokes, BMI and checkup jokes for a good chuckle.

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Funniest Chart Short Jokes

Short chart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chart humour may include short graph jokes also.

  1. For Valentine's Day I made a chart of past relationships.... It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.
  2. A Polish guy goes to the eye doctor The doctor holds up a chart: K Z S Y X W K P G and asks the man if he can read it. "Read it?" he says, "I *know* the guy!"
  3. A Russian Goes For His Eye Examination The doctor places an eye chart before him and asks if he can recognize what's written.
    The Russian: Are you kidding me? That's my cousin's name
  4. The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart.. ..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla.
  5. A Welsh man goes for an eye test. Doctor: Can you read this chart from top to bottom please.
    Welshman: Read it!? I know the guy!
  6. I noticed the ship's navigator was scribbling on the table and not the map which made think.... ...this guy is off the chart!!!
  7. Not fat, just short. According to the BMI chart, at the doctors office, I don't need to lose 25 pounds! I do need to grow about six inches but hey, it beats dieting!
  8. Apparently the Japanese made a pie chart showing how afraid they are of Godzilla... then one of them made it their national flag.
  9. I've just finished a graph charting my previous relationships... It has an Ex axis and a Why axis.
  10. At 14.6%, Nevada occupies the No.1 spot on the American Divorce Chart. It's a bad state of affairs.

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Chart One Liners

Which chart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chart? I can suggest the ones about plot and drawing.

  1. So according to this BMI chart... I am too short.
  2. Here's a pie chart on procrastination.
  3. I plotted all of my past relationships on a chart It had an ex axis and a why axis.
  4. I made a chart of my past relationships It had an ex axis and a why axis
  5. Why was the spreadsheet afraid of its chart? Because it has multiple axes.
  6. My girlfriend is like infinity. Off the charts, but only a concept.
  7. How do woman keep track of their mentraul cycles? Flow charts.
  8. I wrote a song about drawing maps, but it never made the charts.
  9. The Japanese flag is a pie chart... ...showing how many of them are afraid of Godzilla.
  10. What do you call a teacher who doesn't allow the use of tally charts? Taliban.
  11. How can you chart all the lies your parrot tells? A poly graph.
  12. What color do you use when you're recycling a chart? Chartreuse
  13. This BMI chart is telling me I'm too short. What should I do? Should I eat more?
  14. Started comparing overweight people using a graph Created a Guntt Chart
  15. Did you hear about DJ Excel? Everyone says he's off the charts!

Eye Chart Jokes

Here is a list of funny eye chart jokes and even better eye chart puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Polish person went to have their eyes tested. The eye test chart read: N Y X C S F R U Z. The optom asked, 'can you read any of those letters?' 'read it?' the polish person answered, 'i know him!'
  • Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.

Pie Chart Jokes

Here is a list of funny pie chart jokes and even better pie chart puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Today at work I beat my boss over the head with a pie chart. I've been charged with a graph-aided assault.
  • Pie Charte are useless except for one thing They're great at visualising round numbers
  • Yo mama so fat... When she saw a pie chart in math class, she probably ate it.
  • A nutritionist delivers a talk at a weight loss convention. "Now, I did have a big red pie chart behind me, but apparently, you all like Strawberry."
    Please don't kill me.
Chart joke, A nutritionist delivers a talk at a weight loss convention.

Chart joke, A nutritionist delivers a talk at a weight loss convention.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about chart can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of chart puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Chart Jokes

What funny jokes about chart you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean draw jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make chart prank.

A man is at the doctor's office...

...and the doctor, looking at his chart, says "You're going to have to stop m**...."
"Why?" the man asks.
The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to give you an examination!"

So I'm sitting in the exam room at my doctor's office...

I'm waiting and waiting. For nearly 20 minutes I wait before he comes in. When he comes in he starts going through my chart. He is flipping through each page, stopping to look at me after each page. He turns to me and says "Dave, you're going to have to stop m**...." I ask him "why is that, Doc?"
He says "Because I'm trying to give you an exam."

At The Eye Doctor's

A woman went to her optometrist for an exam. The doctor turned the exam chart on the wall and asked her to read it. she replied that she couldn't see anything. He increased the size to 6″ and asked her to try again. Still nothing.
So he enlarged it again to a foot. Still cant see it. out of frustration he pulled out his manhood, and asked if she could see it. She said Oh yes Dr i can see it quite clearly.
He said, Just as I thought, you're cockeyed.

A man is sitting in the doctor's office...

A man is anxiously waiting in the doctor's office.
When the doctor arrives, he looks at the patient's chart and says " Sir, you need to stop m**...".
Confused the man asks "why?"
The doctor replies..."I need to examine you".

I was sitting in a doctor's office getting an examination

The doctor was reading through my chart and said, "You should stop m**...."
"Why?"
"Because I'm trying to give you an examination."

A Polish man goes to the eye doctor...

A polish man goes to the eye doctor. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters:
C Z Y N Q S T A S Z
The Optometrist asks „Can you read this?
„Read it? , the Pole replies, „I know the guy!

A Polish guy went to check his vision...

**Doctor asked** - *can you read any of those letters? read it for* me.
The eye test chart: C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z
**Polish guy** - *Oh god, I know that guy!!*

A Polish man was at the Eye Doctor to test his sight, and looked at a chart with the following letters:

G U O Y L V B J I T D A Z C K
Doctor: Can you read the letters?
Polish Man: Of course i can read it, I know the guy!

My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.

MAN: Give it to me straight, Doc...am I dying?

DOC: *looking at medical chart* "Everyone's dying."
MAN: "Well yes, but what about me specifically?"
DOC: *Looks up* "You're, like, the Usain Bolt of dying."

So, I had a doctors appointment yesterday.

I was sitting in the exam room in the paper gown when in walks the most gorgeous doctor I've ever seen. She picked up my chart and looked over it for a few minutes. Finally, she looked up and said, "Mr. Cow, you're going to have to stop m**...." I said, "Why?!" She said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!!"

A polish man goes to the optician...

Optician: "could you tell me what it says on this chart?"
Polish man: "tell you!? I went to school with him!"

A man goes to the doctor for an annual checkup

When the doctor walks in he looks at the man's chart and says although it is awkward, I believe you are the right age for a prostate exam.
The man sighs, bends over the table and drops his drawers.
Now just to let you know this may cause an e**..., warns the doctor.
I think I'll be fine, the man replied
I wasn't talking about you.

How do you keep track of the multiple religions fluctuating their need for more and more of your time?

With a Varying Degrees of Differen-Culty Chart.

I checked my BMI chart the other day.

It would appear that I'm too short.

I went to the doctor today for a checkup and he showed me on a chart that I'm 20 pounds overweight.

But, I pointed out that using his very same data, *I'm not overweight.* I just need to be 3 inches taller.

Doctor Joke

Doctor: What brings you here?
Patient: My car hahaha
Doctor: \*writing in chart\* not s**... active

My doctor was having trouble writing notes in my chart.

He kept scribbling, frowning, shaking the pen.
I said "Hey, doc! That's not a pen, it's a thermometer!"
He shouted "My God! Do you know what this means?"
"Dear God, what?"
"Some a**...'s got my fountain pen!"

A Trip To The Doctor

A man is sitting in an examination room when his Doctor walks in reading his chart.
"Sir, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop m**...." Says the Doctor.
"WHAT!?! WHY!?!" Exclaims the man.
The Doctor looks up and says "Because I'm trying to read this chart and you're distracting me."

A recent Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license

He first had to take an eye exam. The optician led him to an eye chart and pointed to a row with the letters-
'C Z W I M T O S T A C Z'
Can you read this? The optician asked.
Read it?! The Polish man replied. I even know the guy!

Nitpicking

To resolve conflicts between management and staff, I brought both sides together and asked employees to jot down key words on a flip chart. One participant complained about management's tendency to interfere and wrote the word nitpicking. A manager leaped to his feet to ask, Shouldn't there be a hyphen between nit and picking?

I've decided to stop going to my doctor now I've found out he's into astrology

I went to get the results of a scan and all he had to say was "I've consulted your chart and I can see Cancer is rising in Uranus".

A nurse goes to make a note on a chart, but when she reaches into her pocket, she pulls out a r**... thermometer.

Annoyed, she mutters to herself, "d**..., some a**... has got my pen."

Doctor's news

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: I'll take the bad news first.
Doctor: I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but there was an error in your chart and I'm afraid we cut off the wrong leg.
Patient: WHAT THE HECK?!? That's not bad news. That's TERRIBLE news. What incompetent fools! You've ruined my life!!!
Doctor: Now hold on. You haven't heard the good news. I'm pleased to tell you that upon further study it turns out your other leg's going to be okay!

Doctor

A busy doctor is reading a chart by a patient.
The nurse says, Doctor, you really should not carry a thermometer behind your ear like that.
The doctor takes the thermometer, frowns and says, Darn! Some a**... has my pen .

Chart joke, Doctor

jokes about chart

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these chart jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.