The Best 34 Charm Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Charm jokes. There are some charm negligee jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these charm lovely puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Charm Jokes and Puns

45 year old charming guy

Having recently turned 45, I thought I had lost all the appeal and charm I used to have with the ladies, until today that is. At my local gas station, the pretty young girl who has served me every other day or so for several weeks asked for my number. I was taken aback. I explained how I was flattered but was perhaps a bit too old for her and that if I were 20 or so years younger I would happily take her up on her offer, I explained how love and sexual attraction, when intertwined, can be exciting and that I hadn't felt this way in years and asked that she save her love for someone who will truly care for her and respect her not only as a woman, but as a person.

. . . . "No," she said. "Your pump number, sir."

The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physicist while he chugs the last of his beer...

The strange charm of a top down bottom's up

Third time's a charm...

Is a much darker phrase in Germany

Charm joke, Third time's a charm...

Would a charming vampire be a neck-romancer?

An identity thief and a rapist get convicted in a poor town...

The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the rapist in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."

Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake?

He had a reptile dysfunction

What is Jeb Bush's campaign slogan?

Third time's the charm

Charm joke, What is Jeb Bush's campaign slogan?

LPT: How to tie an extremely difficult knot

Just put it in your pocket. Works like a charm with my headphones every time.

I'm at an awkward weight

I'm fat enough to not look good with my shirt off, but not fat enough for it to become part of my charm.

I'm caught between a rock and a lard place.

I keep a photo of my mother flexing inside the charm of my necklace

Because she is a strong, in the pendant woman

The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having sex with a mortal woman...

He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there, gasping and panting, shaking, and exhausted from the most incredible sex she's ever had in her life. She can't even speak. All she can do is stroke his chest with a trembling hand. He understands her point, though. He was amazing.

"I've got a confession to make," he says. "I'm actually Thor."

"You're thor!? I'm tho thor, I won't be able to thit down for a week!

You can explore charm necklace reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean charm athletic dad jokes. There are also charm puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How many sexual orientations does a physicist have?

Six: Up, Down, Strange, Charm, Top and Bottom.

Maybe you need to try a magic poultice.

I heard they work like a charm.

Have you ever looked down on a quark when it is at the bar?

Oh, the strange charm of that top down bottoms-up.

Third times the charm...

...said god before he accidentally created down syndrome.

A charming man walks into a bar and shouts: "THE QUEEN IS DEAD, BOYS!"

The barman says: "Too soon, Morrissey"

Charm joke, A charming man walks into a bar and shouts: "THE QUEEN IS DEAD, BOYS!"

What do you call a necklace with a writing utensil shaped charm?

A pen-dant

A guy asks his friend how he lost so much weight.

His friend says, "I took up drinking and driving. It works like a charm!"
The guy says "Oh man, you need to stop, you're going to get yourself killed!"
His friend replies back, "Yeah, it was a bit of a crash diet."

A woman looks at herself in the mirror in disgust.

Woman: I feel really horrible. Look at me, old, fat and ugly. I think I have lost my charm.

Man: Hmmm, well it isn't all bad.

Woman: What do you mean?

Man: At least you have perfect eyesight.

A student asks a scientist about the types of quarks...

A student asks a scientist about the types of quarks. The scientist replies "Up, Down, Charm, Top, Bottom"

The student says "I think you missed one?" The scientist replies "Huh, thats Strange."

Sinatra is diagnosed with schizophrenia...

He goes to see a psychologist and starts talking about his split personalities.

One is the charismatic singer who can perform and woo crowds with his talent and charm.

The other is Steve, who is reserved and shy and can't even speak in front of a more than a few people.

He starts off talking, timid and soft spoken.

The psychologist stops him and says Listen, first I'm gonna need you to be Frank with me

As a good luck charm my baseball team eats taco bell before every game.

To help us get more runs than our opponent.

A quantum physicist and his friend go out for ice cream.

"What's your favourite flavour?" asks the friend.

"Charm," replies the physicist.

His friend looks at him.

"Why is it that whenever I ask you a question," begins the friend, "your answer is always strange?"

"Well it's strange *now*," the physicist protests, "shouldn't have waited a picosecond."

Why World War 3 will be the end

Because third time's a charm.

Beauty and charm of British women

Beauty and charm of British women made the best sailors, explorers and adventurers from British men.

Why does nobody like the Charmin bears?

Because they can be real asswipes.

I cut the prong off a fork and am wearing it on a necklace for luck.

As they say, third tine's the charm.

I honestly think that words can bring people to their knees, even in very tense situations where a fight can break out any second

Just say "I have a gun" and it works like a charm

A woman wearing a necklace with an airplane charm notices a guy starting at her chest

She asks him "Do you like the airplane?"

He say "No, I like the airport!"

The Tourist

An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.

Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve one table at a time."

Why are charming pirates always the richest?

Because they get all the booty

Did you know that nobody's having intercourse at the Quantum gay club?

Apparently, all tops turn into bottoms.

That explains the weak interaction.

We're witnessing the world in decay.

It's strange, and I find no charm in it.

Ok, I'm out.

I'll be having some Lepton tea.

My wife left me after I slept with my third cousin

Guess the third time isn't a charm.

What did Charmander say to Pikachu after seeing him surf?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the charm hex jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working charm hexed piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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