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Charlie Jokes

134 charlie jokes and hilarious charlie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about charlie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Catch some laughs with this selection of Charlie Jokes about Charlie Brown, Charlie Chaplin, Charlie Horse, Charlie Munger, Charlie and Boots, Charlie Kane and more! Learn about the funniest characters and what makes them unique. Laugh away with these jokes and anecdotes about Chas, Jackie, Willie and beyond.

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Popular Charlie Short Jokes

Short charlie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The charlie humour may include short ray charles jokes also.

  1. With all the negativity in the world today... ...at least charlie sheen is staying positive.
  2. After 6 months (or so) of listening to people talk with masks on I finally understand what Charlie Browns teacher was saying
  3. Charlie couldn't believe he was being let into the chocolate factory... His girlfriend had been dead against it for years.
  4. Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas? Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.
  5. What's the term for that light shimmer that you get when you finish on someone's face? The Charlie Sheen
  6. Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead. You know what they say.
    You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees.
  7. Why did Amber Heard and Charlie Sheen's secret lovechild take his father's name instead of his mother's? Because children should be sheen and not heard.
  8. What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen? Charlie Sheen's winning.
  9. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is quite unrealistic but at least they got one thing right The moment Charlie found that ticket all the scalpers started coming out.
  10. I wish people would kick the bucket more often Would sure make Charlie and the Chocolate Factory more interesting

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Charlie One Liners

Which charlie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with charlie? I can suggest the ones about billy and johnny.

  1. What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common? Bad blood.
  2. Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975? 'Cause Charlie don't serf.
  3. People keep asking me if I'm an alpha male or a beta male... My name is Charlie ffs.
  4. Charlie Sheen and Mike Tyson are in a car. Who's driving? The cop.
  5. I can't read Charlie Brown comics anymore... Turns out I'm allergic to peanuts.
  6. If you brag about listening to Charlie Puth, You just want attention.
  7. What did Gene Wilder name his drug smuggling operation? Charlie Up The Chocolate Factory
  8. What do you call a funny picture of Charlie Chaplin? A panto-meme
  9. New Charlie Sheen and lindsay lohan TV show. Two and a half kilos.
  10. What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP
    RIP Charlie Murphy
  11. Female ghostbusters? What about male Charlie's Angels?
  12. Why Can't Charlie Sheen Finish the Alphabet? Because when he gets to 'P' it burns.
  13. Guys, I know Charlie Sheen isn't winning right now. But at least he's positive.
  14. Why do other actors hate working with Charlie Sheen? Because he is bad with lines!
  15. How did Charlie Brown adaptively respond to snoopy's evemtual death? Good grief.

Charlie Sheen Jokes

Here is a list of funny charlie sheen jokes and even better charlie sheen puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • As bad as 2016 seems to be, it could be worse... You could have got a phone call from Charlie Sheen.
  • With all the negativity world-wide lately, it's nice to see Charlie Sheen has announced something positive
  • in these hard times, it's crucial to stay as positive as Charlie Sheen
  • Have you heard of Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohans new sitcom? It's called "two and a half grams"
  • Now I know why Charlie Sheen was always Winning... ...he was just being positive.
  • Several years ago, Charlie Sheen said "I'm Winning" ...even now he's still remaining positive!
  • How many drugs did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill two and a half men.
  • I'm trying to contact Charlie Sheen's brother... Does anyone have his emailio addresstevez?
  • If I was Charlie Sheen I would call my son.. Sexma.
  • What do C programs and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both have an std.

Charlie Brown Jokes

Here is a list of funny charlie brown jokes and even better charlie brown puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Charlie Brown decided to wear transparent pants one day... ...and when Lucy saw him she said "I always thought you were a blockhead, Charlie Brown, but now I can plainly see your nuts."
  • What did Charlie Brown say when he was in a work conflict? Good grievance!
  • Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
  • What does Charlie Brown on Halloween and a U.S. Marine finding out where hes getting deployed in 2004 have in common? They can both be heard dejectedly saying "I got a rock."
  • Why couldn't the child watch Charlie Brown? Because he was allergic to peanuts!
  • Wanna go see the new Charlie Brown movie with me? No thanks. I'm allergic to peanuts.
  • Lately, whenever I read a comic s**... about Charlie Brown or Snoopy I break out in hives. I think I'm allergic to Peanuts.
  • What do you call a Vietcong that's been hit by n**...? Charlie Brown
Charlie joke, What do you call a Vietcong that's been hit by n**...?

Charlie Chaplin Jokes

Here is a list of funny charlie chaplin jokes and even better charlie chaplin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I went to a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest, the guy who won was some German chap,
    the judges gave him perfect neins
  • Boy: Hey, you're Charlie Chaplin aren't you? Take this money to pursue your dreams. Mr. Chaplin: Danke!
  • Charlie Chaplin called I couldn't hear him though.
  • What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and Charlie Chaplin? One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the r**....

Charlie Bit Jokes

Here is a list of funny charlie bit jokes and even better charlie bit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • In the next few years we may get a sequel to "Charlie bit my finger" "Charlie fingered my bits"
  • Charlie! You bit my finger. And it's really hurt!
Charlie joke, Charlie!

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about charlie can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of charlie puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical & Quirky Charlie Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about charlie you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean frank jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make charlie prank.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Six hasn't been the same since he came back from Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Charlie hiding in the darkness, dead bodies hanging in the canopy, and remembers the smell of blood and gunpowder.
When he sees seven, he is reminded of those days.

What do you call it when Charlie Sheen's brother has s**... with him?

Emilio Incestevez

Charlie the Street Car Conductor

Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."

Dramatic Arts

Little Charlie has had his dreams set on becoming an actor, and, finally, he lands a part in the school play. He runs home after school to tell his dad. "That's fantastic!" his father replies. "Who do you play?" he asks. "Dad, I play a guy who's been married for twenty years!" His dad plants a hand on Charlie's shoulder, smiling sweetly, and says, "Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

Tough choice in Florida governor's race...

Charlie Crist and Rick Scott are standing at opposite ends of a theater when both men spontaneously burst into flames and there's only one fire extinguisher in the entire building!
Where would you hide the fire extinguisher?

What does h**... say when he gets a charlie horse?

*Mein Krampf!*

Two Ninjas

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?
Numchucks.

What did the Parisian shooters leave behind for next week's Charlie Hebdo?

An empty magazine.

Should I draw controversial drawings?

Charlie Hebdont

How much c**... can Charlie Sheen do?

enough to kill 2 1/2 men.

Charlie SHEENY legs

Amirite?

Please describe your p**... As a movie title e.g. Armageddon, the rock, Charlie and the chocolate factory...

What does Charlie Sheen say when he's having s**... with a Vietnamese Lady?

Nguyenning!

Did you hear the joke about Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth?

I guess I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.

Too soon?

Charlie Sheen's new show: "2 and a half T-Cells"

Charlie Sheen Says He Has h**......

Finally a positive in his life.

How did Charlie Sheen contract h**...?

He blew a Piston in his car.

If I have h**... I hope I find out from a Doctor, like Charlie Sheen did

And not from the TV, like his ex girlfriends did.

The news about Charlie Sheen having h**... is the only positive thing I have been reading in my Facebook timeline all week.

No pun intended.

TIL that Charlie Sheen got h**... after doing Two and a Half Men.

What grocery store does Charlie Sheen frequently visit?

Rite Aid

Do you think Charlie Sheen admitted to being h**... positive on national television...

because it was easier than making phone calls?

Charlie Sheen is like Ash Ketchum

BeBecause they both catch things

I dont know if anyone else remember this joke

- How much c**... did Charlie Sheen consume?
- Enough to kill two and a half men.

Studies show that one in two and a half men are h**... Positive

You can thank Charlie Sheen for that

A man got lost on a camping trip

A man got lost on a camping trip. Rescuers scoured the wilderness until a medical emergency team finally spotted a solitary figure across a wide chasm.
Charlie Smith, someone shouted, is that you?
Yes, it is, came the reply. Who are you?
We're from the Red Cross.
I gave at the office! Charlie shouted back.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my uncle Charlie

Not k**... and screaming like the passengers on his bus

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't remember if she had s**... with Charlie Sheen?

At first she wasn't sure, but now she's positive.

Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....

He tells her he wants to be a counselor, but isn't sure what direction to go.
She looks over his scores as says, "I think you'd make a good grief counselor."

What do Magic Johnson, Charlie Sheen and roughly 250,000 children in Africa have in common?

A continuing chance to create a better tomorrow.
You **sick** b**....

"Hey five-p**... Charlie, how do your pants fit?"

"Like a glove"

How much c**... did Charlie Sheen do?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project.

Each person was assigned a country to report on.
Wow! Lucy said. I got Italy!
Interesting exclaimed Linus. I got Germany.
With dismay, Charlie Brown said, I got Iraq.

John: My friend Charlie has stolen my girlfriend's number from my mobile 2 days ago.

Harry: What happened then?
John: Charlie Has been sending romantic texts to his own sister since last 2 days.

If the Charlie Rose scandal has taught us anything

it's that every rose really does have its thorn.

The Double Charlie Serve

Attention by Charlie Puth. A song about mario.

"Runnin round Runnin round Runnin round, throwing those turtles at my knee"

What did Charlie from Lost say to the clown from IT

It's not your boat

When I was 11 my Uncle Charlie used to r**... me everyday.

He said "If you ever tell anybody, I'm going to kill your parents."
I told everybody and he never killed my parents. I thought we had a deal?

My dad was babysitting my two children, so I called him later to ask how it was going.

Me: "What did they have for dinner?"
Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"
Me: "Charlie"
Dad: "Spaghetti"
Me: "What about Clark?"
Dad: "Spaghetti"
Me: "Ok ... So what time did they go to bed?"
Dad: "Which one? Charlie or Clark?"
Me: "Charlie"
Dad: "7:30"
Me: "And Clark dad?"
Dad: "Also 7:30"
Me: "If the answers are the same, why are you telling me them separately?"
Dad: "Well, I was the one looking after Charlie".
Me: "oh, who was looking after Clark then?"
Dad: "Me".

What do Charlie Gard and Jonbenét Ramsey have in common?

Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin meet...

ALBERT EINSTEIN:- What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... ... CHARLIE CHAPLIN:- It's true, but your fame is even greater! The world admires you, when nobody understands you!

Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, and Keith Richards walk into a bar.

The bartender, local drug dealer, and in house p**... all get measured for a new suit

Charlie Kirk, Ayn Rand and Gary Johnson walk into a bar.

They all die of lead poisoning because there's no goverment to regulate how much lead the barman is allowed to put into his drinks.

Did you guys know Charlie Sheen has a little sister, Fartma?

Does Charlie surf?

No, Charlie don't surf.

Despite being diagnosed with h**...

Charlie Sheen is remaining positive

Charlie Sheen just received an AA coin in relation to maintaining sobriety for a year

Next to his h**... diagnosis, this may be the second most positive experience of his life.

Charlie joke, Charlie Sheen just received an AA coin in relation to maintaining sobriety for a year

jokes about charlie

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these charlie jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.