Charity Jokes
124 charity jokes and hilarious charity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about charity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your next charity event more fun and light-hearted with these hilarious charity jokes. Get the crowd in a good mood with some charity shop puns, charity auctioneer jokes, or even jokes about charity donations and charity cases. Whether you're having a yearly charity event or working for a charity like Oxfam, this article is sure to get everyone in the fundraising spirit and get the donations rolling in!
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Funniest Charity Short Jokes
Short charity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The charity humour may include short charitable jokes also.
- If I won 298 million, I'd give a quarter of it to charity. ...I'm not sure what I'd do with the other $297,999,999.75 though.
- I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
- Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?
- I like to think I'm a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. But when she's not working I give it to Destiny.
- I am starting a charity to teach short people maths. It's called making the little things count.
- Never give a donation to someone collecting for a charity marathon. They'll take the money and run.
- I won $3,000,000 from a lottery and donated one quarter of it to charity Now I have $2,999,999.75
- I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity. He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.
- Pavlov's dogs have started a charity for the holiday... It's called "The Salivation Army"
- If I ever win the lottery I'll give some of the money to charity. .....And if she isn't dancing that night I'll give some Destiny
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Charity One Liners
Which charity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with charity? I can suggest the ones about kindness and donation.
- I like to give a percentage of my earnings to Charity.... ......and other strippers.
- Why didn't Jesus start a charity? Cuz they're not for prophets.
- I met an atheist who worked for a charity It was a non-prophet organization
- I donated $100 to a charity for blind children Not like the kids will ever see any of it.
- Why don't clams donate to charity? They're shellfish.
- My dad says he donates to the African water charities Because he's got a well paying job.
- Buying Muhammed dolls for charity, all prophets go to kids in need.
- What do you call a charity that gives bread to the poor? A naan-profit!
- I raised money for charity by dressing up as Cruella De Ville. I had 101 donations.
- What's United's favorite charity? Doctors Without Boarding
- Why could the cardiac surgeon not stop giving to charity? He had a good heart
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- What do people say after they've finished donating wigs for charity? I'm out of hair
- Did you hear about the charity for dogs owned by farmers? It's called the B.I. NGO
- What does the charity run by cats do with their donations? Help out the kneady.
Charity Donation Jokes
Here is a list of funny charity donation jokes and even better charity donation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How to make a charity 1. find someone in need
2. Create an organization and donate all revenue to said someone
3. ???
4. nonprofit - Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status. He now goes by Mill Gates.
- I donated $100 to a blind children's charity... Too bad they won't ever see a penny of it.
- Do you guys wanna donate to my charity? It's a non profit organization called "Caw Caw Caw Caw"
It's four good caws - My coworker is asking for donations for his charity marathon But I'm afraid he's just going to take the money and run
- I won 300 million dollars in the lottery and decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. They sent me a letter saying "thank you for your 25 cent donation".
- My friend kept nagging me to donate one of my prepositions to charity. Eventually, I gave in.
- They say Jeff Bridges donated a good sum of money to charities after The Big Lebowski… The Dude Provides!
- Don't feel bad about not donating to blind peoples charities... They were never going to see it anyway.
- What does Xxxtentacion fans call a $100k donation to a charity A ticket to an all you can beat buffet
Charity Shop Jokes
Here is a list of funny charity shop jokes and even better charity shop puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife has been in a coma for two weeks now, and the doctor told me to expect the worst. So I had to go to all the charity shops and get her clothes back.
- The fuse had blown on a lamp I was throwing away and my mother suggested I give it to a charity shop I told her I couldn't do that, they'd only re-fuse it
- News has leaked of the title of Bruce Willis' next film, where he wears a nun's outfit he bought from a charity shop. Old habits die hard.
- A local charity shop has a unicycle on sale for £30 For a price like that, you can't fall off!
Charity Auctioneer Jokes
Here is a list of funny charity auctioneer jokes and even better charity auctioneer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in charity auctions for pride month They've been going left for years
Giggle-Inducing Charity Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about charity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean good deed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make charity pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Was solicited by a charity to donate my used clothing to starving people around the world. I said No Way!!
Anyone that could fit into my clothing, is NOT starving!!
A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief...
Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My younger brother told me this. Why don't c**... give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
I was going to go to the Alzheimer's charity run yesterday.
But I forgot.
A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome
...and call it Touch Downs.
I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My neighbour was about to lose his house.
So i decided to organise a neighbourhood wide charity o**... to help him.
It was truly awe inspiring to see the whole neighbourhood come together like that.
I, too, went to a mixed religion seminar...
...But in the hopes of learning more about charity. First I asked a Buddhist monk: "How do you decide what to give away and what to keep for yourself?" "Child's play", he said. "I draw a small circle in the ground, throw my money into the air, and what falls outside of the circle I give to Buddha". Next I asked a catholic priest. "Easy my son", he told me. "All I do is draw a small circle in earth, throw my money to the heavens, and what falls into the circle I give to God". Finally, I asked a Rabbi. "Simple!" he answered. "I throw my money into the air and what god wants, he takes!"
I want to start a charity where terminally ill people can request to sleep with hollywood celebrities...
I'll call it "Make A Wishbone"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane.
Gonna call it "Fundamental"
My cousins asked me to sponsor them in a charity race.
Boy did they give me a run for my money.
A friend convinces a jew to donate to charity...
The friend sees the jew put an envelope in the donation box and asks him
"How much money did you put in there?"
The jew replies "Money? Are envelopes really worth nothing nowadays?"
I said "My, what big eyes you have!"
Followed by "My, what big hands you have!"
And then "My what big teeth you have!"
My charity gig for children with disabilities did not start out well.
My local feminist charity is hiring. I found their recruitment slogan to be a bit counterintuitive...
"Girl power needs manpower."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the man who faked leprosy to get charity handouts?
It was a l**... con.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa. Well, I think it is a scam.
Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving.
People who eat vegetables are called vegetarians.
Remember that before you accept charity from a humanitarian.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an islamophobic charity organization?
A non-prophet.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am hosting a charity event for people who fail to reach c**... during s**...
If you can't come, let me know
Have you heard of U2's new charity?
it's pro bono
In an attempt to help the less fortunate, I want to start a charity where people can donate their lightly used weaponry, whether they be guns, knives, tanks, etc so that the poor and disabled can have a sense of security while living on the streets at an affordable price
It could be called the Goodkill
I wanted to see if I could become invisible to others
So I stood in the doorway of a supermarket holding a charity tin.
I used to work at a charity where nobody was allowed to mention Jesus
It was a non-prophet
A meteor shower destroyed the Red Cross headquarters.
All Perseids went to charity.
You are invited to a charity event to raise money for people who can't oragasm.
Let me know if you can't come.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last year I gave over $15,000 to Charity.
I have to find a cheaper h**......
I'm starting a charity for PhD students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates...
It's called "Doctors without Boarders."
Lobsters are greedy. They never give anything to charity. They're just shellfish.
But that's being too hard on them. Not everyone can afford to be a philanthropod.
I found this cool charity that lets you donate brined salmon to those in need.
Lox of Love
My wife sorted out some clothes she no longer wears, I said what are you going to do with them? she replied give them to charity, I said why don't you just throw them away, she replied, there are a lot of starving women out there that will appreciate them.
I replied, anyone that fits into your clothes are definitely not starving.
A middle-aged housewife decides to donate her old clothes to charity
Wife: "I've gathered up some old clothes and I need you to drop them off at the church charity."
Husband: *Groaning* " Why not just throw them out? It's easier that way."
Wife: "Because there are people out there who are poor and starving that need these clothes."
Husband: "Darling, anyone who fits into your clothes is not starving."
I wasn't sure about doing a charity marathon but...
I realised it was for disabled people so I thought I had a good chance of winning
Charity Marathons....
... They sure give you a run for your money...
My wife said I am giving all of the clothes I no longer wear to charity, I said just chuck them, she replied there are a lot of starving people in the world that can benefit from them, I replied.
Anyone that fits your clothes are definitely not starving.
Friends do crosswords
Friend 1: emphatic NO, five letters
Friend 2: Never
Friend 1: firearm, three letters
Friend 2: Gun
Friend 1: disgust, three letters
Friend 2: ugh
Friend 1: form of charity, four letters
Friend 2: give
Friend 1: female sheep, three letters
Friend 2: ewe
Friend 1: Pixar movie, two letters
Friend 2: up
Everytime I go out to dinner, I pay for someone else's meal too. Some call it charity...
But that's not my wife's name.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I would not say that i am ugly
But women have s**... with me because it can be deducted on the taxes as charity
If I win the lottery, I'm going to give all the money to charity.
After all, she's my favourite dancer down at the Jiggly Hut.
My wife is angry at me for giving money to Charity
My wife looks after our finances. She asked "Honey where this check of 1000$ every month goes to "
Me "It's for Charity"
After few months She asked me about what work this charity does.
Me it's better to show you than tell.
I don't know why she shouted and created a scene. So what if Charity is a Stripper. Charity is still a person with feelings and values. How can my wife be so insensitive
A group of charity workers are sent to africa to see how their program is working.
They are walking down a street and see a crocodile with mans head in its mouth. When they get home and are asked about how their trip went one of them says "we can cut all funding, they got Lacoste sleeping bags"
I get a lot of solicitors at my house, salespeople, charity seekers, Jehovah's Witnesses, I've seen them all. But today I got someone at my door asking if I eat enough vegetables
I wasn't expecting some sort of spinach inquisition!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A rabbi and a priest are asking for charity outside of a church...
They are standing one next to the other as the congregation is exiting mass. They look at the Rabbi with disdain and give more money to the priest.
Until o**... sees the rabbi hasn't collected any money and decides to help him out Rabbi, why don't you try asking for charity outside of a synagogue?
The rabbi turns to the priest Moshe, this guy wants to teach us marketing
My mate asked me to do a charity 5 mile run... I said no.
He then told me it was for blind and disabled people.
I then thought.. I could actually win this.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I donate to a charity called OnlyFans
Because those girls can't even afford clothes!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I was interested in taking part in a marathon.
I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties. I thought "d**..., I might actually win this".
I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze.
But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old rabbi wins the lottery
The man wins $3,000,000.00
A reporter from the local TV station comes to interview him at his house
She asks him, "Congratulations on your winning! What do you plan to do with the money?"
The old rabbi answers, "I'm giving $1,000,000 to a Jewish charity, $1,000,000 to my family, and $1,000,000 to the n**...."
The reporter, stunned beyond belief, asks the old Jewish rabbi, "Why on earth would you give money to the n**...?"
The old rabbi lifts up his sleeve, exposing his arm and says, "They gave me my lucky numbers."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A gigantic gas e**... in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity.
After all, it was only *miner* injuries.
I recently flew to africa to do some charity work.
It was an eye-opening, shocking experience.
The poverty, the starvation, the fighting.... the *smell*, the noise....
I am never flying economy again.
Last month, I gave half of my salary to charity.
That's probably why my wife found out about her.
A man stopped me in my path and waved his charity bucket at me.
"You!" he said. "Do you wish to change the lives of those that are starving?"
I stopped and said, "Do you?"
"Do I?" he hesitated. "Of course I do!"
I said, "Please move, then. I want to buy my lunch."
My Wife.
My wife sorted out some clothes she no longer wears, I said what are you going to do with them? she replied give them to charity, I said why don't you just throw them away, she replied, there are a lot of starving women out there that will appreciate them.
I replied, anyone that fits into your clothes are definitely not starving.
People act like PETA is the only charity that has an 85% death rate.
But what about Make-A-Wish?
A Crow wanted me to donate to his charity.
When I asked him what it was called he screams: "CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW!"
Not knowing what he meant I stared him down until he explains that it's "four good caws".
