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Charity Jokes

132 charity jokes and hilarious charity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about charity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your next charity event more fun and light-hearted with these hilarious charity jokes. Get the crowd in a good mood with some charity shop puns, charity auctioneer jokes, or even jokes about charity donations and charity cases. Whether you're having a yearly charity event or working for a charity like Oxfam, this article is sure to get everyone in the fundraising spirit and get the donations rolling in!

Funniest Charity Short Jokes

Short charity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The charity humour may include short charitable jokes also.

  1. If I won 298 million, I'd give a quarter of it to charity. ...I'm not sure what I'd do with the other $297,999,999.75 though.
  2. If I won $1.28B, I'd give a quarter of it to charity. Not sure what I'd do with the other $1,279,999,999.75 though.
  3. I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
  4. I won $1M in the lottery I gave a quarter of it to charity, and put the other $999,999.75 in the bank.
  5. My husband has been missing for six days now Police said to prepare for the worst.
    So I went to the charity shop to get his clothes back
  6. Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?
  7. I like to think I'm a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. But when she's not working I give it to Destiny.
  8. I am starting a charity to teach short people maths. It's called making the little things count.
  9. Never give a donation to someone collecting for a charity marathon. They'll take the money and run.
  10. I won $10,000,000 in the lottery and donated a quarter to charity Now I have $9,999,999.75!

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Charity One Liners

Which charity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with charity? I can suggest the ones about kindness and donation.

  1. I like to give a percentage of my earnings to Charity.... ......and other strippers.
  2. What do you call an atheist charity? A non-prophet organisation.
  3. Why didn't Jesus start a charity? Cuz they're not for prophets.
  4. I met an atheist who worked for a charity It was a non-prophet organization
  5. I donated $100 to a charity for blind children Not like the kids will ever see any of it.
  6. I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane. Gonna call it "Fundamental"
  7. What do you call an islamophobic charity organization? A non-prophet.
  8. Why don't clams donate to charity? They're shellfish.
  9. My dad says he donates to the African water charities Because he's got a well paying job.
  10. Buying Muhammed dolls for charity, all prophets go to kids in need.
  11. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they're shellfish!
  12. What do you call a charity that gives bread to the poor? A naan-profit!
  13. I raised money for charity by dressing up as Cruella De Ville. I had 101 donations.
  14. Did you hear the one about the atheist charity? It's a non-prophet.
  15. I donate to a charity called OnlyFans Because those girls can't even afford clothes!

Charity Donation Jokes

Here is a list of funny charity donation jokes and even better charity donation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I won $3,000,000 from a lottery and donated one quarter of it to charity Now I have $2,999,999.75
  • I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity. He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.
  • I won $3 Million and decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75
  • If I won the Mega Millions valued at 750 million today, I would donate a quarter to charity. Not sure what I would do with the other 749,999,999.75 dollars though.
  • How to make a charity 1. find someone in need
    2. Create an organization and donate all revenue to said someone
    3. ???
    4. nonprofit
  • I won 1 Million in a lottery and decided to donate a quater to charity Now I have $999,999.75
  • Was solicited by a charity to donate my used clothing to starving people around the world. I said No Way!! Anyone that could fit into my clothing, is NOT starving!!
  • Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status. He now goes by Mill Gates.
  • I just won a million dollars and I donated a quarter to charity! I now have $999999.75 left.
  • If I had $20 million, I would donate a quarter of it to charity.... I'm not sure what I would do with the remaining 19,999,999.75

Charity Shop Jokes

Here is a list of funny charity shop jokes and even better charity shop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The wife has been missing for a week. Police said I should now prepare for the worst.... So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back....
  • The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
  • A week after my wife went missing, the police told me that I should expect the worst case scenario. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes.
  • My wife has been in a coma for two weeks now, and the doctor told me to expect the worst. So I had to go to all the charity shops and get her clothes back.
  • The fuse had blown on a lamp I was throwing away and my mother suggested I give it to a charity shop I told her I couldn't do that, they'd only re-fuse it
  • The missus has been missing for a week now. The police have told me to prepare for the worst... So I have been back to the charity shop to get all her clothes back!
  • News has leaked of the title of Bruce Willis' next film, where he wears a nun's outfit he bought from a charity shop. Old habits die hard.
  • A local charity shop has a unicycle on sale for £30 For a price like that, you can't fall off!
  • What did the c**... say when he saw the bull standing outside the charity shop? That's an ox, fam.
Charity joke, What did the c**... say when he saw the bull standing outside the charity shop?

Profits Charity Jokes

Here is a list of funny profits charity jokes and even better profits charity puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Do you guys wanna donate to my charity? It's a non profit organization called "Caw Caw Caw Caw"
    It's four good caws
  • Why should you back an Indian charity? Because they are all naan profit.

Charity Auctioneer Jokes

Here is a list of funny charity auctioneer jokes and even better charity auctioneer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in charity auctions for pride month They've been going left for years
Charity joke, We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in cha

Giggle-Inducing Charity Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about charity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean good deed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make charity pranks.

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: p**..., 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up

A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome

...and call it Touch Downs.

I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.

That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.

A Comedian Walks onto A Stage and Says...

I did a gig recently where I got booed off stage for saying that I live at home with my parents. As soon as I said it the whole audience starts shouting: Booooo! That's the last time I do a charity gig for an orphanage

I, too, went to a mixed religion seminar...

...But in the hopes of learning more about charity. First I asked a Buddhist monk: "How do you decide what to give away and what to keep for yourself?" "Child's play", he said. "I draw a small circle in the ground, throw my money into the air, and what falls outside of the circle I give to Buddha". Next I asked a catholic priest. "Easy my son", he told me. "All I do is draw a small circle in earth, throw my money to the heavens, and what falls into the circle I give to God". Finally, I asked a Rabbi. "Simple!" he answered. "I throw my money into the air and what god wants, he takes!"

My cousins asked me to sponsor them in a charity race.

Boy did they give me a run for my money.

I've decided to run a marathon for charity.

I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning.

I said "My, what big eyes you have!"

Followed by "My, what big hands you have!"
And then "My what big teeth you have!"
My charity gig for children with disabilities did not start out well.

I just won $1,000,000, and I've decided to give a quarter to charity.

Now I have $999,999.75.

I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa. Well, I think it is a scam.

Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving.

I am hosting a charity event for people who fail to reach c**... during s**...

If you can't come, let me know

What do you call it when a group of atheists come together to help people?

A Non-prophet Charity

In an attempt to help the less fortunate, I want to start a charity where people can donate their lightly used weaponry, whether they be guns, knives, tanks, etc so that the poor and disabled can have a sense of security while living on the streets at an affordable price

It could be called the Goodkill

I wanted to see if I could become invisible to others

So I stood in the doorway of a supermarket holding a charity tin.

I used to work at a charity where nobody was allowed to mention Jesus

It was a non-prophet

I bought one of those anti-bullying charity wrist bands the other day

I say bought, I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

My wife sorted out some clothes she no longer wears, I said what are you going to do with them? she replied give them to charity, I said why don't you just throw them away, she replied, there are a lot of starving women out there that will appreciate them.

I replied, anyone that fits into your clothes are definitely not starving.

Why don't c**... donate to charity?

They're shellfish penny pinchers.

I wasn't sure about doing a charity marathon but...

I realised it was for disabled people so I thought I had a good chance of winning

I found out my friend was running a charity for atheism.

He said it was a non-prophet organization.

Husband doing crossword with wife..

Husband : emphatic no, five letters
 
Wife : never
H : p**..., three letters
 
W : gun
H : disgust, three letters
 
W : ugh
H : charity, four letters
 
W : give
H : female sheep, three letters
 
W : ewe
H : Pixar movie, two letters
 
W : Up

I just won 10 million dollars from a lottery ticket. I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

Those were the proudest 25 cents I ever donated.

Everytime I go out to dinner, I pay for someone else's meal too. Some call it charity...

But that's not my wife's name.

If I win the lottery, I'm going to give all the money to charity.

After all, she's my favourite dancer down at the Jiggly Hut.

If I won the $51 million powerball jackpot, I'd give a quarter to charity.

Not sure what I would do with the other $50,999,999.75 though...

A group of charity workers are sent to africa to see how their program is working.

They are walking down a street and see a crocodile with mans head in its mouth. When they get home and are asked about how their trip went one of them says "we can cut all funding, they got Lacoste sleeping bags"

I got booed off stage for saying I still live with my mum...

Never doing a charity gig for an orphanage again...

I get a lot of solicitors at my house, salespeople, charity seekers, Jehovah's Witnesses, I've seen them all. But today I got someone at my door asking if I eat enough vegetables

I wasn't expecting some sort of spinach inquisition!

A rabbi and a priest are asking for charity outside of a church...

They are standing one next to the other as the congregation is exiting mass. They look at the Rabbi with disdain and give more money to the priest.
Until o**... sees the rabbi hasn't collected any money and decides to help him out Rabbi, why don't you try asking for charity outside of a synagogue?
The rabbi turns to the priest Moshe, this guy wants to teach us marketing

A husband is doing crosswords with his wife.

**Husband:** Emphatic no; five letters.
**Wife:** Never.
**H:** p**...; three letters.
**W:** Gun.
**H:** Disgust; three letters.
**W:** Ugh.
**H:** Charity; four letters.
**W:** Give.
**H:** Female sheep; three letters.
**W:** Ewe.
**H:** Pixar movie; two letters.
**W:** Up.

My mate asked me to do a charity 5 mile run... I said no.

He then told me it was for blind and disabled people.
I then thought.. I could actually win this.

If I won a million dollars, I'd give a quarter of it to charity.

Not sure what I'd do with the other $999,999.75

I won $3 million in the lottery last night, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity....

Now I have $2,999,999.75.

A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I was interested in taking part in a marathon.

I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties. I thought "d**..., I might actually win this".

Pavlov's dogs have started a charity for the holiday...

It's called "The Salivation Army"

I just won $1,000,000 from the lottery and I'm donating a quarter to charity!

Not sure what I'm going to do with the left over $999,999.75 though.

I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze.

But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.

An old rabbi wins the lottery

The man wins $3,000,000.00
A reporter from the local TV station comes to interview him at his house
She asks him, "Congratulations on your winning! What do you plan to do with the money?"
The old rabbi answers, "I'm giving $1,000,000 to a Jewish charity, $1,000,000 to my family, and $1,000,000 to the n**...."
The reporter, stunned beyond belief, asks the old Jewish rabbi, "Why on earth would you give money to the n**...?"
The old rabbi lifts up his sleeve, exposing his arm and says, "They gave me my lucky numbers."

If I ever win the lottery I'll give some of the money to charity.

.....And if she isn't dancing that night I'll give some Destiny

I donated $100 to a blind children's charity...

Too bad they won't ever see a penny of it.

A gigantic gas e**... in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity.

After all, it was only *miner* injuries.

I recently flew to africa to do some charity work.

It was an eye-opening, shocking experience.
The poverty, the starvation, the fighting.... the *smell*, the noise....
I am never flying economy again.

If I ever win the lottery Im giving all my money to charity

If shes not dancing that night Im giving it all to Destiny

So I was doing crossword with my girlfriend,

Me: Emphatic no, five letters.
She: **Never**
Me: p**..., 3 letters.
She: **Gun**
Me: Disgust, 3 letters.
She: **Ugh**
Me: Charity, 4 letters.
She: **Give**
Me: Female sheep, 3 letters
She: **Ewe**
Me: Pixar movie, 2 letters
She: **Up**

Last month, I gave half of my salary to charity.

That's probably why my wife found out about her.

A man stopped me in my path and waved his charity bucket at me.

"You!" he said. "Do you wish to change the lives of those that are starving?"
I stopped and said, "Do you?"
"Do I?" he hesitated. "Of course I do!"
I said, "Please move, then. I want to buy my lunch."

My Wife.

My wife sorted out some clothes she no longer wears, I said what are you going to do with them? she replied give them to charity, I said why don't you just throw them away, she replied, there are a lot of starving women out there that will appreciate them.
I replied, anyone that fits into your clothes are definitely not starving.

People act like PETA is the only charity that has an 85% death rate.

But what about Make-A-Wish?

A Crow wanted me to donate to his charity.

When I asked him what it was called he screams: "CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW!"
Not knowing what he meant I stared him down until he explains that it's "four good caws".

If I had a dollar for every time Amber Heard lied in court

I'd have enough money to fulfil her charity pledge.

My coworker is asking for donations for his charity marathon

But I'm afraid he's just going to take the money and run

Charity joke, My coworker is asking for donations for his charity marathon

jokes about charity