The Best 35 Charged Murder Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Charged Murder jokes. There are some charged murder jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these charged murder puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Charged Murder Jokes and Puns

A falling battery killed a man today.

It was charged with murder.

A crow was caught recently breaking quarantine laws.

They charged him with attempted murder.

I was arrested for killing a black man

I thought I would be charged with murder, but instead I was charged with impersonating a police officer.

Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges.

If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days.

Three crows planned a meeting and only two of them showed up

They were charged for attempted murder


A man is charged with first-degree murder and is on the stand, being questioned by the prosecution.

Did you commit the crime?

No sir, I did not.

I remind you that you are under oath. Do you know the penalty for perjury?

Yes sir, and it's a darn sight less than the penalty for murder.

Sandpaper

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.

Gosh, I only intended to rough him up a bit.

I've been charged with murdering a man with sandpaper.

But, to be honest, I just intended to rough him up a bit.

The inventor if the anti-virus software has been charged with murder.

They expect the trial to last 30 days

Did you hear about the crow who got arrested for trying to start a social club?

He was charged with attempted murder... I'll see myself out

My barrister

You have to tell me the truth," my barrister said. "It doesn't matter to me if you're guilty or not, I just don't want to be surprised in court."

"Ok, I raped and murdered those prostitutes." I admitted.

"Interesting, but can we get back to this shoplifting charge please?"

You can explore charged murder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean charged murder dad jokes. There are also charged murder puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty to the charge of premeditated murder

Frankly I don't think he's got a leg to stand on.

Why should you never kill someone at the circus?

Because you'll be charged with murder within tent...

What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden?

Being a first-person shooter

A bunch of crows live in our neighborhood so I am constantly making jokes about "(attempted) murder."

It's not that funny anymore and it's driving my wife insane, but I'm just setting up a big laugh for when the judge reads the charges against her.

I heard two crows got arrested

The charge was attempted murder

A serial killer plead guilty to homicide

after being asked by the judge why he would kill, the serial killer responded,

"It fills me with energy."

He was charged with murder.

A yoga instructor killed a student before class started

He's being charged with pre-meditation murder.

Why did the robot kill someone with its empty battery?

So it would get charged with murder.


Two IT pros are being held on charges for murder

The local hospital's life support machine was acting up, so they turned it off and back on again.

The police break into a blender's apartment.

The police point their guns at the blender and say "Freeze! You've been charged with first degree murder!".
The blender frantically responds " Wait officers, this is a big mix-up!

A woman was recently taken into custody for strangling her husband with a necklace...

...but she was only charged with accessory to murder.

A house was charged with murder...

Personally I think it was framed.

Bogo the clown killed two people

but was only charged with one count of murder.

Did you hear about the Woodstock Killer?

He was charged for murder within tents.

Have you heard about those new "murder hornets" that have been found in North America for the first time ever?

A friend of mine is a good lawyer and can get the charges reduced to manslaughter hornet

They call me the battery

Because I'm charged with 17 accounts of murder, 67 accounts of kidnapping and 326 accounts of aggravated and first degree arson.

My grandma was nearly charged with attempted murder.

But my parents dropped the claim when I came out of my food coma.

Where does a hypebeast go after he is charged with murder?

The Supreme Court

Apparently Kevin Bacon was killed last night. . .

And they're charging the shooter with 6th degree murder. . .

I killed a duck that had been bothering me recently.

The judge charged me with murder most fowl.

A paranoid schizophrenic was arrested for killing 17 pigeons in a local park.

He wasn't arrested for murder, or animal cruelty.



His actual charge was for the destruction of government property.

A scarf was recently arrested...

and charged as a fashion accessory to murder.

I've murdered many

Even my iPod,

Never been charged.

A Parrot was charged with murder

A parrot was charged with murder in Iran with an owl as an accomplice. Two birds, one stoned.

/u/samuelmolt

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the charged murder jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working charged murder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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