Chapter Jokes
70 chapter jokes and hilarious chapter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chapter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Did you ever think you could get to laugh from a chapter? Check this article to find the funniest jokes about chapters and authors. Whether it's page numbers, preface, or chapter 11, you're sure to find something to laugh about!
Funniest Chapter Short Jokes
Short chapter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chapter humour may include short paragraph jokes also.
- My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion. I said "yeah it's pretty straightforward"
- Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene? Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D
I came up with this myself. I'm so proud. - "Your case is quite complicated." Patient: Why doctor? What happened?
Doc: You have a disease from the chapter I skipped during my studies. - Just finished the art of the deal by Donald trump. Great book. You can find the secret to his tremendous success in.... Chapter 11
- I was surprised to see that the first chapter of the otherwise English novel was written entirely in Spanish But then again, no one expects the Spanish exposition.
- What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.
- You know that I can tell Donald Trump has never finished a novel... He can't get past chapter 11
- Isn't it funny how many building engineers won't include a thirteenth floor Yet book publishers don't seem afraid to have a chapter eleven...
- Donald has written a lot of books about business, but there's an interesting characteristic they all share... They all seem to end at Chapter 11.
Credit (to my dismay): HRC - I bought one of Donald Trump's books on how to run a business ...but for some reason, it just ends at Chapter 11.
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Chapter One Liners
Which chapter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chapter? I can suggest the ones about article and section.
- Why was "Art of the Deal" so long? It had six Chapter 11s.
- Why hasn't Donald Trump ever finished a book? Because he always gets stuck at Chapter 11
- I bought a mayfly's autobiography. Chapter 1: The end.
- What's a Brazillian's least favorite math chapter to do? 7-1
- Why is Donald Trump's biography so long? It has four Chapter 11s.
- I asked a fraternity member for an pamphlet about his chapter. He said, "Bro, sure."
- I kept reading a book about Gawker... But every page kept going back to Chapter 11
- Michael Cohen's new book ends the same way as Trump's stories. At chapter 11.
- Twitter management's favorite part of a book is always Chapter 11
- If Toys R Us had a book, Chapter 11 would be named "bankruptcy"
- I downloaded a book on Ethics from the PirateBay I hadn't gotten to that chapter yet
- Page If multiple people named "paige" hung out together would it called a chapter?
- What's the only book with four chapter 11s? *The Art of The Deal*
- I tried to read Hillary Clinton's Memoir But chapters 10, 11, and 15 were deleted.
- News flash: Chapters truck caught speeding Police reported, "It was really booking it!"
Chapter 11 Jokes
Here is a list of funny chapter 11 jokes and even better chapter 11 puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't know why people say Donald Trump doesn't read books... He always gets to chapter 11.
- Canada and the US are finalizing negotiations for dairy tariffs and Chapter 19 re: NAFTA which is bad news for Trump... He only understands Chapter 11
- Just the other day I was reading The Art of the Deal Good book, but the book abruptly ended at Chapter 11
- Sports Authority must be a publisher now... ..All I hear now are discussions about Chapter 7 and Chapter 11!
- Micheal Cohen's latest book wasn't as long as I expected ...(Spoiler) It abruptly ended at Chapter 11
- Trump is such a good businessman that he literally wrote the book on business! Everyone should read it! Its too bad that it only goes up to chapter 11 though...
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Chapter Jokes
What funny jokes about chapter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean verse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chapter pranks.
Studying for MCAT when I heard this Joke!
I was studying for the MCAT while listening to an audiobook for a chapter on the endocrine system. Anyways, at the end of the audiobook the guy signs of saying: "Hey John, how do you make a hormone anyway?"... "That's easy Jordan, you just don't pay her." Loled so hard!
A preacher is reaching....
...the end of his sermon. He tells the congregation "Now for next week, I need everyone to read Leviticus chapter 28. It ties into my sermon" A week passes. The preacher reached the pulpit and asked "How many of you read Leviticus chapter 28?" Everyone raised their hands. The preacher looked and said "Ladies and gentlemen, there is no 28th chapter to Leviticus. Now let me start my sermon on lying."
A teacher assigns her students to read a chapter of a book.
"Class, I want you to read chapter 31 of the book I assigned you. Understood?"
The entire class agreed. "Okay. Class is dismissed. Remember to read it."
Skip to the next day in the classroom. "Okay, so whoever read chapter 31, please stand up."
Every student stood up. "Now, all of you go to the principals office."
Every student is shocked and confused.
"Why, you ask? There isn't any chapter 31!".
Question about The Catcher in the Rye
In chapter 5, I didn't understand why the bus driver made Caulfield get rid of his snowball. He was just...Holden it.
Liars
A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, Next Sunday, I'm going to preach on the subject of Liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark 17.
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, Last week I asked you all to read Mark 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand. Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Smiling, the preacher said, You are the very people I want to talk to. Mark only has 16 Chapters.
What did the author say when he added a chapter about flour to a story about soup?
The plot thickens!
Why did the old pirate decide to give up a-plunderin?
He just wanted to move on, start a new chapter in his life. Sometimes things happen like this, and it's a nice reminder that we are all capable of change. Sure it's tough, some people in your life might move on from how they used to be - but this doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. The pirate may stop a-plunderin, but he's still the same person. He's still your friend. He'll always be there for you.
Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians...
Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs?
Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.
A priest started his Sunday sermon by saying...
... "Today's sermon is going to be about 'liars'. How many of you have read the 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew? "
Nearly everyone raised their hands.
"You are exactly the people I want speak to. There is no 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew."
Lost Chapter In Genesis
Adam had been moping around all day in the Garden of Eden and God finally said, "Adam, what's up with all this moping?"
Adam told God that he was lonely. God said He could fix that, no problem.
In short order he could make a partner for Adam, and she would be called a "woman."
God told Adam that the woman would collect his food, cook it for him, and care for all his needs and wants. She would also agree with all his decisions and not question his authority as head of the family.
God also said that she would bear his offspring and and not bother him in the middle of the night if the kids woke up and started crying.
She would never nag him and would admit when she was wrong. She would also freely give him love and passion whenever he needed it.
Adam said, "Wow, that's a great partner! What is this woman-person going to cost me?"
And God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Adam thought for a minute, then asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Geek b**...... Fan Fiction
You're totally fan-fic worthy. I think someone's about to make an
appearance in Kirk's quarters next chapter.
My friend tells me she's sitting on the board of the local chapter of Rotory Club.
I just hope they have good cushions..
Donald Trump has written several books on business...
and they all end in chapter eleven.
In lieu of recent event, J.K. Rowling must have left the last chapter of Harry Potter on top of her fridge.
She is jumping to conclusions.
Doctor and the Patient
Dr.- your case is quite complicated.
Patient- why doctor? What has happened?
Dr.- You got a disease from the chapter which I left for option during my studies...
In the book of Mark, Chapter 12, Verse 25 the jesus says, "In heaven there is no marriage." No men, no women, only angels...
Sooooooo, it's like Berkley?
I was talking to John 3:16, it was telling me that it really wished it was in any chapter other than chapter 3. I asked, Oh, do you not like chapter 3?
And John 3:16 said Yeah, I'm averse to that chapter.
Your typical rock band
In my history of Rock and Roll class, chapter 13 focused on the early rock artists post punk era. At the very beginning of the chapter the band King Crimson is briefly mentioned, they seemed to have qualities that later artist would adopt and were quite popular, with songs such as 21 century schizoid boy, I talk to the wind, and In the court of King Crimson (my favorite by the band). However they didn't blow up as much as later rock artists such as Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and AC/DC. They're more so seen as a footnote of that era because of this. I suppose King Crimson was ahead of their time in that regards, but only by like 10 seconds.
Reality vs LinkedIn
Reality:
I got my driving license
Linkedin:
I am honored and thrilled to announce that I have been selected among the top 5 applicants who participated in professional and the most-respected exam which evaluates the skills and ability to operate fuel-based vehicles. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter holds, and I cannot express my appreciation to the ministry of transportation, Wendy's, Google, NASA, my neighbors who supported me during this difficult journey.
My final work dad joke
I always include a dad joke on the schedule for my employees (which this sub helps out with when I can't think of one, thank you). Next Friday is my last day, and this is the last schedule I'm sending to them. We work in a bookstore, and my final, cringe inducing joke to them is:
After careful consideration, I've decided to leave my job at the bookstore.
_It's time to turn the page to a new chapter in my life_
Pretty bad even by my standards, but it felt right.
