Chapstick Jokes
38 chapstick jokes and hilarious chapstick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chapstick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chapstick Short Jokes
Short chapstick jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chapstick humour may include short mascara jokes also.
- My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick? Put it on my bill
- I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick... She's still not talking to me :(
- I replaced my friend's chapstick with a tube of glue. So far, he hasn't said anything about it.
- A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Gimme some Chapstick... ...and put it on my bill."
- I accidentally handed my wife a gluestick instead of her chapstick. She hasn't talked to me since.
- Yesterday I accidentally gave my wife glue stick instead of Chapstick She still isn't talking to me
- I gave my buddy, Steve, a glue stick instead of chapstick... ...he's not currently speaking to me.
- What do these things have in common; chapstick, pencils, pens, hair ties, nail clippers, and socks? They all almost never lose a game of hide and seek.
- A son asks his father A son asks his father, "Dad, how is Burt's Bees chapstick made?" The father looks at him and says, "Well son, let me tell you a story about the Burts and the Bees."
- A company testing on animals just got sued for testing a chapstick on horses that made their lips burn off. They called it neigh-balm.
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Chapstick One Liners
Which chapstick one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chapstick? I can suggest the ones about sunscreen and lipstick.
- What's one thing every gay british man wants? Their chapstick.
- What do you call and Englishman's walking cane? A ChapStick
- What do you call a tree that wears chapstick? A balm tree
- This chapstick... Is the balm.
- A man finishes a tube of chapstick... ...just kidding.
- What do you call chapstick made by President Barack Obama A lip oBALMa
- Why did the peruvian shepherd stockpile chapstick? To prepare for the Alpaca-lypse.
- Why is Chapstick so popular? Cause it's the balm baby!
- Saw somebody rubbing some Chapstick on their lips today. Lucky chap.
- Are you wearing Chapstick? 'cause my lips hurt real bad.
- If Chapelle used chapstick, he'd just be Elle.
- Is that ChapStick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Chapstick Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about chapstick you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean platypus jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chapstick pranks.
If brand slogans were honest...
Hallmark: When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by
a corporation.
Ritz crackers: Tiny, edible plates.
CliffsNotes: They're still going to know you didn't read the book.
Gillette: We're just going to keep adding blades.
ChapStick: You'll misplace it before the tube's empty.
Hot Pockets: Every bite is a different temperature.
A duck walks into a store
A duck walks into a store, picks up a tube of Chapstick and places it on the counter. The clerk asks him, "Will that be cash or credit?" The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."
My wife said I put chapstick on like a serial killer. I asked her "How do you know?"
She said "I don't know. It's just weird, like, you're trying too hard to look like you're not putting on lipstick"
"Oh... Okay. I was worried you found something in the basement."
I buy chapstick..
in order to make the tube of chapstick I lost appear in my pocket when stuffing the receipt for it in there while walking out of the store.
So a duck walks into an apothecary
He buys some chapstick and tells the clerk to put it on his bill
Have my buddy, Brian, a glue stick instead of chapstick...
...he has stopped talking to me
Why can't you get Chapstick through overnight delivery?
You can't put any balm on a plane.
