The Best 35 Chapstick Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chapstick jokes. There are some chapstick lipstick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chapstick sunblock puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chapstick Jokes and Puns

So a duck walks into a pharmacy...

and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies "Thanks, just put it on my bill!"

I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...

She's still not talking to me :(

What's one thing every gay british man wants?

Their chapstick.

Chapstick joke, What's one thing every gay british man wants?

If Chapelle used chapstick, he'd just be Elle.

A man finishes a tube of chapstick...

...just kidding.


A duck walks into a CVS...

The duck walks up to the counter and says, "I'd like to buy some chapstick." The clerk says, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck says, "I'll just put it on my bill."

What did the duck say when he was buying chapstick?

Put it on my bill.

Chapstick joke, What did the duck say when he was buying chapstick?

Why is Chapstick so popular?

Cause it's the balm baby!

If brand slogans were honest...

Hallmark: When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by 
a corporation.

Ritz crackers: Tiny, edible plates.

CliffsNotes: They're still going to know you didn't read the book.

Gillette: We're just going to keep adding blades.

ChapStick: You'll misplace it before the tube's empty.

Hot Pockets: Every bite is a different temperature.

Women in England are hos!

They've always ready to put some chapstick on their lips.

A duck walks into a bar and says

"Get me some chapstick, and put it on my bill!"

You can explore chapstick sunscreen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chapstick platypus dad jokes. There are also chapstick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A duck walks into a pharmacy

A duck walks into a pharmacy and buys some chapstick. He says to the cashier

"put it on my bill".

So a duck walks into an apothecary

He buys some chapstick and tells the clerk to put it on his bill

A son asks his father

A son asks his father, "Dad, how is Burt's Bees chapstick made?" The father looks at him and says, "Well son, let me tell you a story about the Burts and the Bees."

A company testing on animals just got sued for testing a chapstick on horses that made their lips burn off.

They called it neigh-balm.

A Duck Walks Into a Drugstore

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, That'll be $1.49. The duck replies, Put it on my bill.

Chapstick joke, A Duck Walks Into a Drugstore

This chapstick...

Is the balm.

What do you call a tree that wears chapstick?

A balm tree

What did the duck order from the store?

"Chapstick.. and put it on my bill"


Why did the Peruvian shepherd stockpile chapstick?

To prepare for the Alpaca-lypse.

Why can't you get Chapstick through overnight delivery?

You can't put any balm on a plane.

I buy chapstick..

in order to make the tube of chapstick I lost appear in my pocket when stuffing the receipt for it in there while walking out of the store.

What do these things have in common; chapstick, pencils, pens, hair ties, nail clippers, and socks?

They all almost never lose a game of hide and seek.

A duck walks into a store

A duck walks into a store, picks up a tube of Chapstick and places it on the counter. The clerk asks him, "Will that be cash or credit?" The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."

What did the duck say to the cashier when he bought some chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

Have my buddy, Brian, a glue stick instead of chapstick...

...he has stopped talking to me

I gave my buddy, Steve, a glue stick instead of chapstick...

...he's not currently speaking to me.

What do you call chapstick made by President Barack Obama

A lip oBALMa

A duck walks into a CVS pharmacy and buys chapstick

He tells the clerk, just put it on my bill .

Yesterday I accidentally gave my wife glue stick instead of Chapstick

She still isn't talking to me

I accidentally handed my wife a gluestick instead of her chapstick.

She hasn't talked to me since.

My wife said I put chapstick on like a serial killer. I asked her "How do you know?"

She said "I don't know. It's just weird, like, you're trying too hard to look like you're not putting on lipstick"

"Oh... Okay. I was worried you found something in the basement."

Donald Duck walks into a store and says:

"Get me some chapstick... And put it on my bill!"

My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?

Put it on my bill

I swapped my wife's chapstick with a glue stick.

She still isn't speaking to me.

Credit u/RoboRich444

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chapstick toothpaste jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chapstick superglue piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes