The Best 35 Chaos Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chaos jokes. There are some chaos havoc jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chaos doom puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chaos Jokes and Puns

Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.

It was otter chaos.

An economist, a chaos theorist, and a statistician are trying to shoot a deer for dinner with a bow and arrow...

The economist assumes no wind, and misses five feet to the left. He hands over the bow to the chaos theorist, who overestimates the effect of the wind, and misses five feet to the right. The statistician pumps his fist in the air and exclaims: "We got him!".

An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.

The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.

"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."

"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."

The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"

Chaos joke, An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.

I really like oxymorons. Phrases like jumbo shrimp, organized chaos, open secret

Or United States of America.

A rabbi, a lawyer, and a priest are on a cruise ship as it starts to sink...

As chaos ensues and people are running around frantically, the three men huddle together and try to make a grave decision.

The rabbi says, "we must save the children!"

The lawyer says, "no, screw the children!"

Then the priest says, "do we really have time to screw the children?"


The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.

One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!

A rabbi and a priest are discussing their dreams

"I dreamt of the jewish heaven the other night" says the priest "It was horrible, a slum overflowing with people! It was chaos, I tell you, all the people talking and walking around! And making so much noise... Thank God I woke up from that nightmare!"

"Interesting" says the rabbi "The other night I dreamt of the christian heaven. It was the perfect neighbourhood, every house was impeccable, with well-kept lawns and streets!"

"And how were the people?" asks the priest

"People?"

Chaos joke, A rabbi and a priest are discussing their dreams

Below our Southern border is filled with chaos, violence, and corruption. The government is in shambles and the people are always fighting amongst themselves.

Thank god I live in Canada.

A doctor, an engineer, and a politician we're arguing over the oldest profession

The doctor said "in the Bible, Eve was made from Adam's rib, so the first profession was a surgeon." The engineer said, "God made the earth from chaos in 7 days, so engineering is the first profession." The politician said, "who do you think you made the chaos?"

poor teacher

A teacher was teaching a class, when the students started creating chaos.

The teacher shouted "Whoever is standing will be declared as stupid"

Everyone went back to their seats except for one.

"So you admit you're stupid?" said the teacher,

"No, but i didnt want you to be alone"

Total chaos would ensue.

What would happen if the fly on the wall told the elephant in the room about the skeleton in the closet?

You can explore chaos confusion reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chaos profound dad jokes. There are also chaos puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There are 50 states of chaos...

Also known as the USA

To be fair Theresa May warned of a coalition of chaos propped up by extremist terrorist sympathisers

She just didn't say she'd be leading it

What do you call it when you're milking a cow, and the milk goes everywhere but in the bucket?

Udder chaos

I've been married three times. The second marrige was very turbulent and ended in total chaos.

It was a bad case of mid-wife crisis.

Did you hear that some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo?

It was otter chaos!

Chaos joke, Did you hear that some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo?

I'm proud to be a Asian descent, with my family name Chao. When we have family gatherings…

It's completely Chaos!

Breaking news: Amidst all the chaos, Eminem just got kicked out of a very high end bar.

Apparantly he asked the bartender for 4 shots but the bartender refused service and said you only get one shot.

The US recently got its 51st state!!

The state of chaos


A Teacher taught a very hyperactive class

The class had students from many parts of the world. One day the teacher was late and when she came to the class, it was pure chaos in there. Americans were constantly quarrelling, Australians were standing on their head, Italians were making pasta. But the Spanish kid was surprisingly quiet and was in his seat.

Nobody expects the Spanish in position

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo?

It was otter chaos

What happened when the cows escaped from the paddock?

Udder Chaos!

There were three unruly kids in detention

Their names were Zip, Willie and Pee. The teacher briefly left the room and the three kids saw this as an opportunity to have some fun. Zip jumped up onto a table and started dancing. Willie went into the teachers cupboard and Pee started running around.

The teacher shortly came back, saw the chaos and said:

'Zip down, Willie out, Pee in the corner!'

A few months ago, a time traveller ran up to someone and shouts "I need you to say the 9th letter of the alphabet and the German founder of the philosophical doctrine of transcendental idealism, or the world will fall into chaos!"

...I Kant

And out of the chaos, a voice spoke; "Smile and be happy, for it can always be worse"

And I smiled, and I was happy, and it did get worse.

I went to the zoo today....

only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.

It was otter chaos.

My mate from up North owns a pub.

He was telling me other night that he's been having trouble with a famous Spanish actor who keeps coming into his pub and causing chaos.

Javier Bardem? I asked

I've tried," he replied, but he just keeps comin' back.

What does a jihadist cow cause?

Udder Chaos!

A hearse is driving up the street...

A hearse is driving up a very steep street and once it gets near the top, the back door opens up and the coffin comes shooting out of the hearse and rolls down the street.

People are diving out of the way, cars are swerving, it's chaos! By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it has picked up a lot of speed and crashes into a wall surrounded by people.

The door pops open, the body sits up and says Do you have anything to stop this coughin?

What's the difference between Switzerland 70 years ago and Switzerland now?

They are completely avoiding events in Europe that could or could not lead to chaos worldwide.

Did you hear about the chaos at a Networking manufacturer?

It was Panic at the Cisco.

In the beginning there was only Chaos.

Then God blessed it and said: "Be fruitful and multiply."

Why did the anarchy club disband?

Their meetings were always full of disorder and chaos.

Ever seen two female cows fighting?

It is utter chaos._.

]=(:)

In light of all this recent controversy and chaos, thought this slightly racy joke would cheer people up!

Q: How do you starve a (race variable) man?

A: Put his food stamps in his work boots!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chaos turmoil jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chaos bravery piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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