Chanting Jokes
57 chanting jokes and hilarious chanting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chanting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Chanting Short Jokes
Short chanting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chanting humour may include short screaming jokes also.
- If I owned a race horse, I would name it My Face Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! COME ON MY FACE!"
"...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!"
-Credit goes to my mother
- - Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
- A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
- A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
What do we want?
Hearing aids!
When do we want them?
Hearing aids! - What does the Freudian monk chant while meditating? MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
(Sorry if repost, I just thought of this, but I can't be the first) - If you play a Coldplay song backwards, you'll hear a lot of creepy, Satanic chanting in Latin But if you play a coldplay song the normal way, you'll hear something much worse. A Coldplay song.
- The Alzheimer's Support Society chant... What do we want?
We don't know!
When do we want it?
What? - A group of linguists at the key note of a conference They started chanting "Speech! Speech! Speech! ..."
- Today, someone asked me if there's a possibility that I know anything about Medieval music. I said, "not a Gregorian chants".
- What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery? Give me one more chants!
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Chanting One Liners
Which chanting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chanting? I can suggest the ones about wailing and shouts.
- I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk... ...but I never got the chants.
- I was considering becoming a monk. But I never got the chants.
- What do vegan white nationalists chant at rallies? Sieg-Kale, Sieg-Kale!
- He looked like a winner Until the crowd started to chant his name
"Kim Yu Suk" - What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening.
- What did the monks chant during the electric boogie danceoff? Ohm.
- There are two kinds of cultists. Those who can lead the rituals, and those who chant.
- If Santa Clause was into chanting he would sing hoooooooooooouuummm
- What do patriotic nerds chant? USB! USB! USB!
- What does the very friendly monk do at the ball game? Gregarian chanting
- I witnessed some suspicious activity at the local football club. No racist chants.
- Zombie chant: What do we want? Braaaaiiins. When do we want them? Braaaaiiiiins
- What did OU SAE's get right in their chant?
Share Hilarious Chanting Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about chanting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make chanting pranks.
One day a brunette walked into a bar filled with blondes.
Everyone was chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Then two more blondes walked in and joined in chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Confused, the brunette asked blonde bartender, "Why is everyone chanting 'Fifty-one days'?" The bartender answered, "Our bar patrons over there finished a puzzle in only fifty-one days, even though the box said 'two to four years'!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Judge, angrily: Excuse me father, did you just say that it was all those kids' fault and not yours?
Father: Yes, everytime they saw me they would just start chanting frantically j**... us'.
A man goes for a walk...
and as he walks he approaches the local mental institution, on the other side of the wall he can hear the patients chanting "3! 3! 3! 3!". His curiosity has been piqued by all the commotion coming from within so he decides to take a glimpse through a hole he sees in the wall, as he bends down and peers through the wall silence falls over the yard and a long stick gets shoved through the hole and pokes him in the eye
"4! 4! 4! 4! 4!"
A group of blondes are chanting "31 days" in a bar...
so after awhile the bartender gets curious and asks one of the blondes "why are you ladies chanting 31 days?". The group parts and the blonde responds "you see this puzzle here?? we finished it in 31 days! and the box says 2-4 years"
A man was passing by a small courtyard when he starting hearing...
...voices and murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said, "NIL."
White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity and The Blessed Emptiness.
The man turned to a white-robed observer beside him and asked, "Is Nothing Sacred?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The shortest tribe in the world
The Fuckawee tribe....In the long grass you can hear their chant...Where the Fuckawee!
A man is walking on a sidewalk past...
An insane asylum. He hears voices on the inside chanting "thirteen,thirteen, thirteen".
He is curious why they are chanting that. He looks around and finds a hole that allows himself to look inside the fence. As he puts his eye on the hole a stick jabs him in the eye. And the chant changes to "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen".
My dad tells this joke all the time.
Inmates Running the Asylum
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy was born without a body
A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.
So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him the pub for his first pint. He takes a sip and BOOM - his body pops out. "Take another sip!" everyone shouts, then BOOM - his arms pop out. "Another!" everyone chants, so he takes another sip and his legs pop out.
The boy is really happy and he runs outside in excitement and he'**... by an oncoming truck and killed instantly.
"What a shame" his dad said.
"He should have quit while he was ahead"
Insane Asylum
A man was walking down the street next to the Insane Aslyum.
As he was walking he heard voices over the wall chanting 21. Curiosity took over and he found a hole in the wall and looked through it.
When he looked all the sudden a stick poked him in the eye and the people behind the wall started chanting 22.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To whom was Shia LaBeouf chanting "*He will not divide us*" after he got arrested yesterday?
His b**....
A group of blondes walk into a bar
A group of blondes walk into a bar celebrating and chanting "28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!"
Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a bartender goes up and asks "What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??"
All the blondes say "We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!"
A guy walks past a mental hospital
A guy is walking past a mental hospital with a high privacy fence, and can hear some kind of chant going on. As he gets closer, he hears them chanting, "sixteen! Sixteen! Sixteen!"Curious as to what is going on, he notices a small hole in the fence. He walks over and presses his face to it to try and see in, only to get poked in the eyes. The chant continues, "Seventeen! Seventeen! Seventeen!"
I was working hard in the operating room during a heart transplant when the nurse asks me "What are you doing?"
I just keep chanting "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"
What's the difference between chance and chants?
The English will have some chants in Russia.
Three men from the same country enter a competition to see who has the most children.
As they enter the stadium, the enormous crowd starts cheering in excitement. The first man comes up, and his family of 20 accompanies him on stage. The second man comes up, revealing his enormous family of 60 members. The third man comes up on the stage, but nobody comes up with him. The crowd then starts chanting:
DADDY! DADDY! DADDY...
There is a group of protestors chanting about fat acceptance.
There is a group of protestors chanting about fat acceptance. A married couple watched from a bench.
The husband told his wife, "it looks like there's fifty protestors over there!"
"I only counted ten." responded his wife.
The husband turned back to her, "I said it *looks* like fifty."
As the group of people finished their demonic chanting...
they stabbed an object, lying on the table, feeding it to someone.
♫ Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you ♫
Here is an ancient gypsy blessing meant to give good fortune.
You must chant the words about a dozen times, slowly at first and then more and more quickly as you go on.
Eye sow hand lie can itty oat toot hay.
A Christian,Muslim and Hindu had a fight on a plane
It was decided they would all try to make other passenger stand by chanting their spiritual words. The person who made most people stand up is the winner.
There were 40 passengers on board
Christian : Bless us Jesus Christ
5 passengers stand up
Hindu : Jai Mata Di
3 passengers stand up
Muslim : Allah hu Akbar
37 passengers Stand Up.
.
.
.
.
.
And jumped out of the plane.
I just read a story about songs in history and the pitches in which they were sung.
For example, a march to battle was sung around middle D. Gregorian chants were sung from low D to middle G.
It seems that most, if not all, pirate shanties were sung on the high C's.
Curiosity killed the cat
One day I was walking by a tall fence. On the other side I could hear a group of people chanting, "12! 12! 12! 12!" Confused, I tried to jump up and see over the fence, to see what's going on but the fence was too tall. A little further up, I saw a small hole in the fence. I walked up to it and peeked through. As soon as I looked, I was poked in the eye by a stick. They all started chanting, "13! 13! 13! 13!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How I learned to mind my own business
I was walking past a mental hospital the other day.
And the patients were shouting 13, 13, 13.. the fence was too high high to see over. But there was a small gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what's going on….
…
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick
And the next thing I hear from over the fence is all the patients chanting 14……14…..14….
The numbers game
A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. 'Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!' goes the noise from within the mental hospital's wards.
The man's curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It's not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye.
As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues:
'Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!'
43 days!
A group of blondes walks into a bar with a picture of Elmo. They set the picture on a table and order several bottles of champagne. As the waiter returns with their champagne, the blondes are chanting, " " Intrigued, the waiter asks them what is going on. One of the blondes explains, "The box said 3 to 5 years, but we put together this Elmo puzzle in just 43 days,."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's it called when a group of drunk footballers in a pub start chanting 'OY OY OY'?
an ***Oy-ing.***
A blonde girl sets out to prove blonde aren't dumb
A blonde girl rents out a stadium and invites as many blondes as she can and sure enough 80,000 blondes fill the stadium and she films it all on live television. She invites a little 4 year old girl out in front of everyone and asks her what's 2+2? The little girl shivers and squeaks out T-three? The crowd erupts yelling Give her another chance! So they do and ask her again what's 2+2? The girl stands there for a moment before answering is it 4? The crowd starts chanting once again Give her another chance!
I was walking past a mental asylum and heard chanting coming from behind the fence.
I stopped to listen and they were chanting "eight, eight, eight eight".
I found a hole in the fence to see through and a finger poked me right in the eye.
Then they began chanting "nine, nine, nine, nine".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sam: Hey Dave, I saw something really weird last night in the woods.
Dave: Oh yeah? What'd you see?
Sam: We'll it's kinda hard to explain, except it looked like a group of older women gathered around a fire, doing these weird chants and they started to get n**..... I mean that could only mean one thing..
Dave: Which is?
Sam: Exactly
