chant Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious chant puns

If I owned a race horse, I would name it My Face

Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! COME ON MY FACE!"

"...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!"

-Credit goes to my mother
-

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A guy walks past a mental hospital

A guy is walking past a mental hospital with a high privacy fence, and can hear some kind of chant going on. As he gets closer, he hears them chanting, "sixteen! Sixteen! Sixteen!"Curious as to what is going on, he notices a small hole in the fence. He walks over and presses his face to it to try and see in, only to get poked in the eyes. The chant continues, "Seventeen! Seventeen! Seventeen!"

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10 Blondes and a Puzzle Box

One blonde walked into a tavern one day and asked for a table that will sit 10 and a for a pint. She received her beer and a table that would sit 10. Later 2 more blondes walked in and ask for a pint a piece and sat by the blonde from before. More and more blondes came in until 9 sat at the table. The 10th one walked in with child's puzzle box with a huge grin. She asked for a pint, walked to the table and slammed the box into the center of the table. All 10 blondes began to drink hard and chant "51 days!!" The other customers became mad and asked the barkeep to stop their chanting. The barkeep walked up to the blonde that brought the puzzle box and asked, "Before I kick you out, tell me one thing, why are you chanting?" The blonde grinned and said, "Well us blondes have be racially descriminated for so long that my friends and I decided to prove everyone wrong. This puzzle box says 2-4 years and we solved it in 51 days!!"

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A man is walking on a sidewalk past...

An insane asylum. He hears voices on the inside chanting "thirteen,thirteen, thirteen".
He is curious why they are chanting that. He looks around and finds a hole that allows himself to look inside the fence. As he puts his eye on the hole a stick jabs him in the eye. And the chant changes to "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen".

My dad tells this joke all the time.

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I'm sat at my desk repeating "I'm gonna stick my pen in your eye, I'm gonna stick my pen in your eye." I'm saying it quietly, though.

I don't want my colleagues to find out I have a pen chant for violence.

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Chantelle has 756 friends on Facebook. She adds 122, what does she have?

Huge tits.

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Death or Boogaloo ?

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.

The chief walks to the men and says, What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo? The first man thinks for a second and replies, I choose Boogaloo .

The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo . The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up the ***.

The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, You must choose, Death or Boogaloo ?

The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, I choose death .

The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, Death by boogaloo!!!

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Death by roo-roo

Three men are walking through the Africa jungle when they are captured by a tribe of natives. The men are in three separate cages sitting around a campfire with the tribe. The chief walks over to the first guy and says, "You have two choices, death or roo-roo!" The man thinks about it and says, "well I dont want to die..i'll take roo-roo!" At this point the whole tribe gets on their feet and chant, "roo-roo! roo-roo!" so they take the man out of his cage and fuck him in the ass until he dies.
The chief walks over to the second guy and says, "Death or roo-roo!" the man thinks to himself, "well even if they fuck me I may live..I'll take roo-roo!" Again the tribe gets up and chats, "roo-roo! roo-roo!" so they all take turns fucking the guy in the ass until he dies.
The chief walks over to the third guy sitting in the cage. The chief asks the man, "Death or roo-roo!" The man looks into the chiefs eyes and says, "I wont give you the satisfaction of fucking me you scum sucker, I'll take death!"
The Chief says, "very well, Death by Roo-Roo!"

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Outback church healing..

Small church in the outback and the congregation are getting excited and filled with healing power. The priest asks the congregation for anyone with an illness to come forward. He holds his hands on the persons head and says, 'Pray with me people, let the healing power of the Lord prevail!'
The congregation chant and pray feverishly and the person walks away full of Jesus.
Then it's little Johnie's turn, a local aboriginal boy.
'Tell me Johnie', says the priest 'what is problem?' Johnie says, 'it's my hearing mister'. So the priest places both hands over Johnie's ears and the whole congregation chant and pray. After a few moments the priest releases his hands and says loudly, 'So Johnie, have we fixed your hearing?' Johnie says, 'How the fuck would I know, it's not till next week'.

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What do vegan white nationalists chant at rallies?

Sieg-Kale, Sieg-Kale!

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The Alzheimer's Support Society chant...

What do we want?

We don't know!

When do we want it?

What?

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There is a tribe over in Africa

There is a tribe over in Africa called the fuckrwe. Every member stands at a height of only two feet tall and the grass they hunt their pray is 5 foot tall. As they run through the tall grass they chant their name "We're the fuckrwe!, We're the fuckrwe!"

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Insane asylum

on his short walk from work to home Jared has to pass by a mental institution. Although it is completely blocked off by a brickwall he sometimes hears the patients enjoying their time outside.
One day while passing the asylum Jared heare a slow steady chant from the inmates.
"Four.. four.. four..four..four..four.."
Both suprise and curious Jared starts searching the brick wall for a crack so he can see why they are chanting when by luck he finds a decent sized hole in the wall.
He bends down, closes one eye, leans forward to peer inside, and a finger comes out and pokes him right in his eye!
He falls back in suprise and pain and the inmates start chanting "Five..five..five..five".

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He looked like a winner

Until the crowd started to chant his name
"Kim Yu Suk"

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I don't get Trump's hate on Mexicans...

... They'll chant "You, ese!" just as well as any other person in this country!

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Picketing Prostitutes

What did the picketing prostitutes chant?


"Hell no, we won't blow!"

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What did the monks chant during the electric boogie danceoff?

Ohm.

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What did OU SAE's get right in their chant?

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Chant at a pro-sexual consent rally.

"What do we want?"

*-- Consensual intercorse!*

"When do we want it?"

*-- Not right now!*

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What did the blonde Buddhist say when she finished her 88th prayer?

"I literally chant even..."

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What do white supremacist loaves of bread chant?

White Flour! White Flour! White Flour!

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Zombie chant: What do we want? Braaaaiiins. When do we want them?

Braaaaiiiiins

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What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

"THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!"

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There are two kinds of cultists.

Those who can lead the rituals, and those who chant.

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What do patriotic nerds chant?

USB! USB! USB!

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Chant at a pro-sexual consent rally.

"What do we want?"

*-- Consensual intercourse!*

"When do we want it?"

*-- Not right now!*

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Thousands of Russians in Moscow chant "Russia without Putin!"

Thousands of Canadians Horrified

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What did the communists chant when they decided to eat the rich?

Down with the Vourgeoisie!

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What are the most funny Chant jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Chant? Well, here are the best Chant dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Chant pick up lines to share with friends.

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