changed Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious changed stories

What are the best Changed puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Changed? Well here is a complete list of Changed dad jokes:

Don't Read If You're A Trump Supporter

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.
Trump says, Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?

The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.

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My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code

Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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My girlfriend really changed after she became a vegan.

It's like I've never seen herbivore.

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Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot has changed...

like my name, phone number, address, etc.

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I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

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When I was younger, I always felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body.

Thankfully, it all changed when I was born.

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the homeless woman

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

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HARLEY DAVIDSON MEETS GOD

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed ! way too close to the exhaust.
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

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A Japanese man on vacation in america...

Went to a bank near his hotel to exchange his yen for dollars. He hands the teller 1,000 yen and he gets 10 dollars. The next day he goes to the same bank and hands the teller 1,000 yen only this time he gets back 8 dollars. When the Japanese man asks why, the teller replies "Because fluctuations." the Japanese man says "Oh yeah? Well fuck you Americans too!"

-edit. changed 100 yen to 1,000.

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I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.

The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

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Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, everything in my life has changed.

My phone number, my address, my name.
Everything.

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I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...

It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing sex that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...

I am now banned from babysitting.

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Overheard this one from some old guys getting changed at my local gym.

"So I go to the pharmacy and ask the guy if they have any Viagara. The guy there says yes, so I ask if they work and he replies 'you bet'. So next I ask "can I get it over the counter" to which he replies 'if you take two' "

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I heard Alabama changed the drinking age to 32.

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

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A blonde comes home from school and says

"Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can only count to 10 but I can count to 20. Is it because I'm blonde?"

Her mother replies:
"Yes dear, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the blonde comes home from school and says:
"Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can't recite the alphabet, but I can. Is it because I'm blonde?"

"Yes dear, it's because you're blonde"

The next day she comes home and says:
"Mummy, mummy, today we were getting changed for gym class and all the other girls had flat chests but I had these."

She points to her breasts.
"Is it because I'm blonde?

"No dear, it's because you're 25."

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Who's the most 'merican...

Shortly after 9/11, Achmed and Abdul were terrified with what Muslim men had done to their adopted country.


The shaved their beards, changed into western clothes, and made a pact to meet in a years time, and see who had the most "american life".


So a year goes by, and the two men meet at a bar, and they began to discuss the events of the past year.


"I married a white woman, bought a Ram pick up truck, joined a softball team, and converted to Christianity... do you think you can be more American than that?" Abdul challenged.


"Fuck you, towel head!" Achmed responded.

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neil diamond........

Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal, he changed his name when the pressure got to him.

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A joke about hell

A man from Michigan, sick of the cold, decides he wants to take a break and go to Florida for a few days. His wife happens to be on a business trip and will arrive later. After the man arrives, he decides to send his wife a quick email to let her know he arrived safely. His wife had recently changed her email address, and because the man had not memorized the address well enough, he got one letter wrong and sent the email to an elderly woman whose husband, a former pastor, had passed away the other day. The elderly woman was reading her emails when she read the one from the Michigan man, shrieked, and fainted. Her family rushed in to see what had happened and saw the email on the screen, which read:

Dearest wife, just checked in, everything is set for your arrival tommorow. P.S, it's burning down here

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Two black guys walking down the street

They walk past a store that is advertising a new machine that will turn anyone into a white person.

"Aw man. We gotta do that!," says first black man.

"The sign says it costs $10. I only got $5," says the second black man.

"Alright, I got a $20. I'll go in first and then I'll give you the change."

So the first black man goes in and after a few minutes he comes out completely changed into a white man.

"No way, dawg! It worked! Give me your change and I'll go in!," exclaimed the second black man.

The now white man looks at his friend for a few seconds, then says, "Get a job nigger!"

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how many 9s does it take to change a lightbulb?

11.

9 11 changed everything.

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Rihanna's take on the meteor

A massive meteor has hit Russia injuring hundreds, Rihanna insist that the meteor has changed and deserves a second chance.

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A girl went to Thailand for a week...

And came back a changed man.

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A dystopian future

Mr. and Mrs. Thyme are two people living in a dystopian future where babies are assigned a random combination of letters and numbers for a name, such as DL-6 or UR-1. However, due to a large amount of protesters, the law has been changed so that parents can choose their own name if they run to the city hall to change the name in 30 minutes after the baby is born.

Mrs. Thyme was pregnant, and her water had broken that morning. However Mr. Thyme had to work for the day, and he had an important meeting that he couldn't miss. He arrived at the hospital 15 minutes after the birth, and Mrs. Thyme said "Hello, dear! Isn't our baby precious?" Mr. Thyme nodded in approval. He suddenly remembered the law, and exclaimed "I have to go to the city hall!" and ran off.

20 minutes later, Mr. Thyme came back. "Did you name our son?" Mrs. Thyme asked. "Yes," Mr. Thyme responded, "Justin Thyme."

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Saw a beautiful lady out the other night...

...so I went up to her I asked what her name was and she said "Carmen Gold."
I said, "What a beautiful name! What nationality is the last name 'Gold?'"
"Oh no, I changed my name to reflect what I really love. I love cars, men, and gold jewelry. So what's your name again?"
"My name's BJ TitsnBeer."

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After decades of intense research, scientists have finally figured out what a woman wants

Unfortunately, she's since changed her mind.

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changed my voice settings to Spanish on my gps

it told me i didn't have enough people in the car

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One clear morning, a man wakes up early to go fishing...

... he got out of bed quietly so that he didn't wake his wife, put on his fishing clothes, grabbed his gear, hopped into his truck, and headed out towards the lake.

About halfway to the lake, the weather completely changed. It started to rain very hard, and there was even some thunder and lightning. The man said,

"Gee, this is awful weather to go fishing in. I might as well just go back home."

So the man drove back to house, put away his fishing gear, took off his clothes and crawled back into bed with his wife.

As soon as he entered the bed, his wife said to him, "Can you believe my husband is out fishing in this weather?"

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My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago.

The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed.

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Sort of clean joke

Amanda Bynes changed her name to Da Bynes because she's an independent woman who don't need Aman

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Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms.

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Chinese Immigrants

Three Chinese brothers tried to migrate into America. The first brother was name Bu, the second was name Chu and the third was called Fu. Bu changed his name to Buck, Chu changed his name to Chuck and Fu got sent back to China.

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Chuck Norris

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris. It was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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LAPD Sent to Train Iraqi Police, Find Weapons of Mass Destruction

Within 2 months of being in Iraq to help train Iraqi Police recruits the LAPD sent the following message up to Army command:


It's over. We have weapons of mass destruction, need guidance on who we are supposed to find them on.


Edit* changed were to are

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You know what they say about retro games?

They haven't changed a bit.

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The drinking age in Alabama has changed to 25

Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school

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What did Mary say the first time she changed Jesus' diaper?

Holy shit.

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Just out of curiosity, does anyone here use RES?

Because I'm really wishing that they'd changed the 'Hide Child Comments' button for the Chris Hansen AMA.

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You guys ever hear the one about little tyrome?

so little tyrome is in the locker room getting changed for gym class. He notices that he has the biggest penis in his class and from the looks of it the whole third grade. He goes home that day and asks his dad, "hey dad, ive got the biggest penis in the third grade. is it because im black?" His dad replies, "no tyrone its because your eighteen"

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A 54 year old woman had a heart atack.

She was taken to the hospital for surgery. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up yet?" God said, "No, you have another 34 years to live". Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, and changed her hair color. Finally she was released from the hospital. While crossing the road on her way home she was killed by a truck. Arriving in front of God in heaven she asked "You said I had another 34 years to live, why didn't you save me from the truck?" God said "I could not recognize you"

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Facebook Genius,

Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'.

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I changed my mind

Wife: I changed my mind...

Husband: Does the new one work?

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My girlfriend has really changed since she became a vegetarian...

...sometimes I feel like I've never seen herbefore.

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A professor turned up to the class with two rats in a cage..

The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.
The rat was in the middle of the cage.
Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on side and kept a female rat on the other side.
The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.
Then, the professor changed the cake and kept some bread.
The male rat ran towards the bread.
This experiment went... on with the professor changing the food every time.
And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.
Professor said:
This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction.

Then, one of the students from the back rows said:-

"Sir, why don't you change the female rat....?

She may be his wife!!"

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Scientists have found out what a woman wants.

But she had already changed her mind.

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A girl went to Thailand...

And came back a changed man.

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John regrets getting a brain transplant.

I guess he changed his mind.

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Alabama has changed its drinking age to 28

Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school

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This morning I...

changed a lightbulb, then I walked across the street so I could walk into a bar, and then is suddenly realized: my life is a joke.

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What do politicians and diapers have in common?

They both should be changed regularly, for the same reason! *ba dum tssh*

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Ugly Child Joke

A woman had an ugly child. One fine afternoon she was travelling on a bus, when suddenly the driver sees her child. The driver goes " Oh that is one ugly looking child."
Mother obviously was angry. She cursed at the driver and changed her seat. The whole time she sat on a different seat she kept mumbling.
A guy gets in the bus at the next bus stop. He noticed the lady was obviously angry at something but couldnt figure what. He went to the lady and asked why she was so angry and if he could help. The lady told her the driver was rude to her.
The guy said "Well, if I were you I would go punch him in the face."
The woman said, " you are right, maybe I should do that too."

The guy then says,"why dont you go punch that driver in the face and in the time being let me hold that monkey for you."

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best changed jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about changed. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty changed gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these changed jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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