The Best 89 Changed Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Changed jokes. There are some changed hassel jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these changed transform puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Changed Jokes and Puns

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.

Trump says, Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?

The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.

My girlfriend really changed after she became a vegan.

It's like I've never seen herbivore.

Half full, Half empty.

Now you might think that the glass is half full, and you might think that the glass is half empty, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be.

Politicians, on the other hand, have assured me that the glass would be more empty if the opposition were in charge,

While surrealists think that the glass is half of a slowly rotting lemon.

Physicists happen to know that you can never know how much water is in the glass because just by measuring it you've changed the outcome.

Neutralists decline to comment.

Changed joke, Half full, Half empty.

I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...

It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing sex that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...

I am now banned from babysitting.

Rihanna's take on the meteor

A massive meteor has hit Russia injuring hundreds, Rihanna insist that the meteor has changed and deserves a second chance.


Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot has changed...

like my name, phone number, address, etc.

When I was younger, I always felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body.

Thankfully, it all changed when I was born.

Changed joke, When I was younger, I always felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body.

neil diamond........

Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal, he changed his name when the pressure got to him.

Saw a beautiful lady out the other night...

...so I went up to her I asked what her name was and she said "Carmen Gold."
I said, "What a beautiful name! What nationality is the last name 'Gold?'"
"Oh no, I changed my name to reflect what I really love. I love cars, men, and gold jewelry. So what's your name again?"
"My name's BJ TitsnBeer."

changed my voice settings to Spanish on my gps

it told me i didn't have enough people in the car

Why do you make more money?

A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?"

The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is running."

You can explore changed tekashi reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean changed how things change dad jokes. There are also changed puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago.

The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed.

After decades of intense research, scientists have finally figured out what a woman wants

Unfortunately, she's since changed her mind.

Overheard this one from some old guys getting changed at my local gym.

"So I go to the pharmacy and ask the guy if they have any Viagara. The guy there says yes, so I ask if they work and he replies 'you bet'. So next I ask "can I get it over the counter" to which he replies 'if you take two' "

I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

I married an amputee last week

She single handedly changed my life

Changed joke, I married an amputee last week

The scientists have finally found out what a woman wants.

But she has already changed her mind.

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.

I changed my password to "incorrect"

So when I forget it my computer will tell me "your password is incorrect"


What do politicians and diapers have in common?

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

"Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately."

"Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."

My friend Victor changed his last name to "E". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery.

Alabama changed the drinking age to 34

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant

but then I changed my mind

I met a pretty girl.

Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.

The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.

I thought about getting a brain transplant

But then i changed my mind

You know the times have changed...

When Portugal leaves Brazil without taking any Gold.

I asked a beautiful homeless girl if I could taker her home with me.

She said, "Yes!" With a big smile... But that quickly changed when I walked away with the cardboard box that she lived in.

My mum showed my girlfriend my baby photos.

"You haven't changed at all," said my girlfriend.

"Alright mum," I said, "that's enough of the naked ones."

I found out a friend was a vegan and it completely changed how I thought about her.

It was like I didn't know herbivore.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby...

My name, address and telephone number.

"Mr. Trump, have you changed your plans for mass deportation?"

"No, I have not. I will deport 11 million undocumented immigrants and two dogs."

"Why the two dogs?"

"See? Nobody cares about the immigrants!"

The day my wife found out she was pregnant, everything changed...

My name, my phone number, my address, and my country of residence.

My friend really changed onced she decided to be a vegetarian

It's like I've never known herbivore

Just had the following conversation in court

Judge: State your name.

Me: Not Guilty

Judge: What?

Me: I had it legally changed.

Judge: You're Not Guilty?

Me: Thanks, I'm outta here

After I changed sex, my daughter has been ignoring me..

It seems like I'm transparent

I crossed the road, walked into the bar and changed a lightbulb.

It was at that moment I realised my life was a joke.

How five Jews changed the way we see the world:

Moses: "The Law is everything"

Jesus: "Love is everything"

Marx: "Money is everything"

Freud: "Sex is everything"

Einstein: "Everything is relative"

I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening...

One of the perks of being self-employed.

So I told Hitler about 9/11

I told him about the carnage and the aftermath, and how the state of America was changed forever, but he was confused.

So, I told him about the backstory, and how Bin Laden began to plan this in the 90s, but he was still confused.

Then, I told him about the numerous connections and the conspirators who trained to fly the planes.

I saw the look on his face.

"What's the confusion?"

Hitler: "But why no eleven?"

I left my husband after he changed his name to "John Cena".

I just couldn't see him anymore.

I named my first son Ready

On his first birthday, I changed his name to Freddy. Nowadays, people ask him, "Are you ready, Freddy?" And he replies, "I was born Ready."

A friend just called me to tell me he has changed his name to 'Spinal Column'.

I asked if I could call him Back.

When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed.

Things like, my job, my phone number and my address

How many Republicans does it take to change a light-bulb?

None.

Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.

My local park doesn't allow wheeled vehicles inside.

Today a group of people are protesting this rule by driving a huge cart through the park. At first I didn't like the idea but I changed my mind and jumped on the banned wagon.

One of my friends told me that ever since they changed genders, their kids won't even look at them anymore..

It's almost as if they have become trans-parent.

My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I have the body of 20 year old

Her opinion changed when I opened the freezer

I've changed so much since my GF told me she's pregnant

For example my name, address and even phone number

My friend changed a lot when she became a vegetarian

...it's like I've never seen herbivore.

Two days ago, I named my WiFi to "Hack it if you can"

Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted"

A man sees a woman in a bar...

A man sees a woman in a bar and asks, "Ma'am, would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"

The woman is startled at first, but replies, "My goodness! Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course..."

The man turns away from her and says, "I've changed my mind. Would you sleep with me for five dollars?"

The woman then says, "Of course not! What kind of woman do you think I am?"

The man says, "Madam, we've already established that. Now we're just negotiating.

If it wasn't for my wife, I'd probably be writing depressive Facebook messages all day.

But she changed my password.

My wife walked in on me masturbating...

I tried to hide what I was doing and quickly changed the TV channel but it switched to a programme about disfigured babies. She saw what I was doing and saw what was on TV, so now she thinks I get turned on by disfigured babies. I mean, how unlucky is that? The same programme being on at the same time on two different channels!

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown....

...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

I was giving my girlfriend...[NSFW]

...oral sex. She wanted to get in on the act so we started to 69.

...changed my hole perspective.

When my wife got pregnant everything changed

My name, my address and my phone number

My girlfriend told me she was pregnant and it changed everything...

My name, my phone number, my address.....

I changed the name of my printer to George R. R. Martin

It's old, works slow, has issues finishing jobs, and constantly disappoints me.

I tried to tell the doctor that I didn't want a brain transplant.

But he changed my mind.

I was going to sue my neurosurgeon.

But he changed my mind.

Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.

One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.

At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant

then I changed her mind

A man was sobbing next to his ex-wife in the hospital who had just been hit by a bus..

He kept saying "It should have been me... it should have been me" over and over, with tears flowing out of his eyes.

The nurse tried to console him, telling him "Don't be too harsh on yourself. For all you know you couldn't have changed it, even had you been there"

To which he replied : "I guess you're right. After all, I don't even know how to drive a bus"

If Facebook buys Gmail....

If Facebook buys Gmail then the 'mark as seen' option would be changed to 'Mark has seen'.

One day I changed a lightbulb, crossed the road, and walked into a bar.

Then I realized my whole life was a joke.

My parents changed sex

Since both my parents changed sex, I can't see them any more. They became transparents.

My girlfriend changed a lot since becoming a vegan

It's like I've never seen herbivore.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home..

 I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home.

She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

Imagine if the rest of the world changed from Kilograms to Pounds overnight

There would be a mass confusion

When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag

Good thing it changed, since "pound metoo" would've been sending the wrong message

Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed.

Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?

Man 2: I prefer the ladder.

Man 1: ok, step stool it is.

I heard they can do brain transplants now! I was all set to do it....

...but my local doctor changed my mind.

I asked a pretty, young, homeless girl if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes.

Her expression changed, however when I walked away with her cardboard box.

How would you write I changed a light bulb on your resume?

Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet..

But the thyme is cumin

When my parents were growing up it was pound not hashtag

Good thing it changed too because otherwise pound metoo would have sent a wrong message

I changed my name to Trump in Among Us

No one has voted me since

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."

I told my doctor I didn't want a brain transplant.

But he changed my mind.

My Friend really changed once she become a vegetarian...

It's like I've never seen herbivore.

In 1862, Australia implemented a telegraph system that stretched from south Australia to Indonesia and beyond. Effectively becoming Australia's first internet.

And the speed of communication hasn't changed since.

I remember the time my cousin completely lost it and threw a giant fit at her 12th birthday party. After she changed her outfit she was fine...

It was a post dramatic dress

Looking Good

Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks.

At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you haven't changed in 20 years."


"Oh," said Mom, horrified. "I hope I didn't look like this 20 years ago."

There are two types of people.

Some people only see black and white and refuse to acknowledge shades and complex non-straightforward situations, and the others... no, wait, I've changed my mind.

What do you call a table whose design can be changed at anytime?

Editable.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby

For instance, my name, address, telephone number..

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, many things in my life changed.

Such as my address, name, phone number, etc.

Lifting weights changed my life. I dropped 25 pounds...

Right on my big toe. It's broken now I can hardly walk

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the changed alter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working changed vary piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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