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Change My Mind Jokes

101 change my mind jokes and hilarious change my mind puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about change my mind that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Change My Mind Short Jokes

Short change my mind jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The change my mind humour may include short change your mind jokes also.

  1. how many Irish mammies does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Don't mind me, I'll sit in the dark. You kids go have your fun.
  2. My Girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed... I told her if she ever changes her mind, all she has to do is phone and I'll come straight away.
  3. My girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed. I told her, If you change your mind, call me. I'll come right away.
  4. .. my sister told me onions are the only vegetable that make you cry ...so I threw a pumpkin at her head. She soon changed her mind
  5. ‪watching the US government deal with the Coronavirus is like watching the Ministry of Magic deal with Voldemort's return. change my mind.
  6. I heard they can do brain transplants now! I was all set to do it.... ...but my local doctor changed my mind.
  7. The scientists have finally found out what a woman wants. But she has already changed her mind.
  8. People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future. Just wait until we develop the technology. They'll change their minds.
  9. After decades of intense research, scientists have finally figured out what a woman wants Unfortunately, she's since changed her mind.
  10. Did you hear about the brain surgeon who was thinking of performing a brain transplant on himself? He ended up having a change of mind.

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Change My Mind One Liners

Which change my mind one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with change my mind? I can suggest the ones about changing mind and blow mind.

  1. At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant then I changed her mind
  2. I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.
  3. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind
  4. Brain transplants will never be possible. Change my mind.
  5. I was going to sue my neurosurgeon. But he changed my mind.
  6. Why Is A Man's Mind Dirtier Than A Woman's? A woman changes hers more often.
  7. I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind
  8. I tried to tell the doctor that I didn't want a brain transplant. But he changed my mind.
  9. I told my doctor I didn't want a brain transplant. But he changed my mind.
  10. I just read a great joke about how women always change their mind nvm it's not that good.
  11. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's, she changes it more often.
  12. I always thought a brain transplant was far too risky. Then I changed my mind...
  13. Why don't women have dirty minds? Because they're constantly changing them...
  14. I decided that I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind
  15. Initially I didn't want to have the brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.

Change My Mind Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about change my mind you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mind thinking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make change my mind pranks.

A mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.

Trump says, Are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you r**...?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.

I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...

It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing s**... that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...
I am now banned from babysitting.

How many passive-aggressive people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark...

I changed my mind

Wife: I changed my mind...
Husband: Does the new one work?

John regrets getting a brain transplant.

I guess he changed his mind.

"I've changed my mind."

"Thank God! Does it work better now?"

Scientists have discovered what a woman wants.

But she changed her mind the next second.

I asked a German the other day if he wanted to hear a joke...

I had the classic "How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb" joke in mind.... But before I got to tell it,
He responded, "Nine"... How did he know?!?!

The local f**... in my area was going to retire this week

but he's changed his mind and is going to stick it out till Christmas.

You know, Nikola Tesla was famous for changing his mind.

In fact, when his colleagues would ask his opinion on a subject he would often just reply, "Oh, I don't know. My thoughts on the matter are alternating currently."

I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind

At that moment I received a text message that said "Well, that's too bad"

God's race

One day a black kid and a white kid were debating whether god was black or white. Their debate was turning heated when suddenly the heavens opened and a booming voice and God said "I am what I am!"
Upon hearing this, the black kid gave up his argument and agreed that God is white. The white kid was puzzled and asked the black kid why he changed his mind. The black kid said, "God just said 'I am what I am' if he was black he would've said 'I is what I is'"

A drunk staggered up to the h**...

A drunk staggered up to the hotel reception desk and demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."

Was gonna get a brain transplant

I changed my mind

I was bored with my life, and wanted to change something.

I changed my mind.

At first people think i should be grateful when I say my wife made me a millionaire

They change their minds when i tell them I was a billionaire before i got married.

A woman goes to the doctor

A woman goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pains. After a series of tests, the doctor walks back in and says to the lady, "Well, hope you don't mind changing diapers!"
Stunned, she replies, "Oh my God I'm pregnant? I can't be pregnant!"
The doctor looks at her and says, "No, you have bowel cancer"

Little Mary is at her first wedding.

When it's over, she asks her mother, 'Why did the lady change her mind?'
'What do you mean?' asks mother.
'Well,' replies Mary.
'She went down the aisle with one man and came back with another.

Two Puns

Man, I was going to eat a clock, but then I thought, that's to time consuming.
Man, I was ganna get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.
You guys might aswell call me re"pun"sul. I'm way to punny.
(Sorry if I make you cringe)

My local park doesn't allow wheeled vehicles inside.

Today a group of people are protesting this rule by driving a huge cart through the park. At first I didn't like the idea but I changed my mind and jumped on the banned wagon.

I used to be close-minded to other beliefs until I learned about reincarnation.

It changed my life.

I was thinking of getting a brain transplant

I changed my mind

I think I can read minds

because I always know a BMW is changing lanes before they use their blinker

A man sees a woman in a bar...

A man sees a woman in a bar and asks, "Ma'am, would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
The woman is startled at first, but replies, "My goodness! Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course..."
The man turns away from her and says, "I've changed my mind. Would you sleep with me for five dollars?"
The woman then says, "Of course not! What kind of woman do you think I am?"
The man says, "Madam, we've already established that. Now we're just negotiating.

Tommy Wiseau was considering casting Dumbo as a lead actor

He changed his mind because nobody would talk about the elephant in the room.

Why do conservative politicians have dirty minds?

They hardly ever change their mind.

My friends always told me I was average

I bet they'll change their minds when I tell them I got an 100 on my IQ test

Did you hear about the f**... who was thinking of cleaning up his act?

He changed his mind and decided to stick it out another year.

Two guys go into a diner...

The waitress comes up and says, "What'll ya have."
The first man says, I'll have a hamburger.
The waitress lifts one arm, pulls a patty out of her armpit, lifts the arm and pulls a bun out of the other armpit.
She turns to the second guy, "What'll you have?"
The second guy says, "I was thinking of having a hot dog but I've changed my mind."

People don't find me very good-looking until I tell them I used to be 200 pounds heavier.

It's not true, but it sure changes their minds.

Music is very powerful,

like that Kars 4 Kids commercial. Before I saw that commercial I wanted to donate a car to kids, but that song changed my mind.

An economist goes up to a girl he fancies at a bar.

He asks her, "I'll give you a million dollars if you will have s**... at me."
The woman, taken back by the offer, sizes up the economist and agrees.
Now the economist adds, "Actually, I changed my mind. I'd rather do it with you in turn for a hundred dollars."
The woman being insulted, retorted, "What am I, some p**...?"
"Oh, we already established that. Now we're just negotiating price. "

I used to put coins on my patients' heads, but my boss thought it was unethical.

When he gave me his two cents on the subject, I changed my mind.

I need a brain transplant

Change my mind.

A Man Walks Up To A Woman At A Bar...

He flirts with her. He makes small talk, but the woman insists she isn't going home with him.
The man says, "What if I gave you a million dollars to sleep with me?"
The woman gives his offer considerable thought and agrees.
The guy changes his mind and says, "How about a dollar?"
She's like, "what kind of woman do you think I am?"
He replies, "We already figured that out."

Someone once told me it's okay to change your mind in light of new facts.

I told him I used to think that.

i went to a r**... barbers to day,

sat down in the chair then quickly changed my mind got up and walked away.
Think i may have dodged the mullet on this one.

Bill: "Did you hear about Zack having a brain transplant?"

John: "Yes, but didn't he change his mind in the end?"

Did you hear about the guy who was scheduled to get a brain transplant?

He changed his mind.

a miracle

A rabbi walks through a Jewish town and then he spots a fat guy who is eating pork. The rabbi is upset and prays, whishing for the fat guy to be sick from eating this "un-clean" food.
After few minutes the rabbi changes his mind: he realized he was too strict: so he prays, prays very hard to undo his previous prayer.
And lo, there was a miracle: nothing happened to the fat man.

At our world famous clinic, many worried, afflicted and mentally unstable people come for assistance. I know it may sound ridiculous, but we start by suggesting they try one of our brain transplant procedures.

They always reject the offer at first, but eventually we change their minds.

I went in to get a brain transplant..

..thankfully the surgeon managed to change my mind.

How many Nigerians does it take to change a light bulb?

Never mind, I forgot there was no electricity in Nigeria.

James Dean had a tiring day at work

James Dean had a long and tiring day at work, so he decided to stop at a pub on the way home. He ordered a pint of Coors Light and some whiskey. Before the drinks were poured he changed his mind - instead of the pint he asked for a can of Red Bull. He was getting a Red Bull without a Coors!

Only s**... people never change their minds

That's what I've always said.

A particularly open-minded flat-earther started out on a journey, and decided he wouldn't stop traveling until he found evidence to convince him to change his worldview.

And eventually he came around.

I told my doctor I didn't want a brain surgery...

But he changed my mind anyway.

Old soviet man is lying on his deathbed...

...as his end is nearing, he surprises everyone by inviting communist party secretary instead of priest, saying he wants to join the communist party before he dies.
"Why did you invite me here? Your whole life you didn't want to join, what changed your mind now?" wonders the communist official.
Old man replies: "If someone has to die, it must be a communist!"

There are two types of people.

Some people only see black and white and refuse to acknowledge shades and complex non-straightforward situations, and the others... no, wait, I've changed my mind.

I'm an Anti-vax and I don't care what you think.

I'm sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.
I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you say to convince me. I've been s**... into that trap before!
They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!

My mother-in-law says she's thinking of throwing herself in the canal, I hope she doesn't do anything s**....

Like changing her mind.

The doctor too me…

The doctor told me I needed a brain transplant.
I don't want it.
But he changed my mind.

I didn't want a brain Transplant

But then they changed my mind

On the Sherrifs Wife's Death Bed

On her death bed, the Sheriff's wife confesses that she cheated on him three times, but swears it was always for a good reason. He asks what happened, and she says, "Well, the first time, remember when Dr. Smith said he we couldn't afford the operation, and then he changed his mind and did it for free?" He says yes, and forgives her. "And the second time, do you remember when our boy got a DUI, and the judge let him off with probation?" He says yes, and forgives her. "And last, do you remember when the polls had you about a hundred votes shy of winning the election for Sheriff?"

I was going to get a brain transplant

But I changed my mind.

A surgeon told me I was in grave need of a brain transplant.

I refused, telling her she wouldn't change my mind.

I walked into the pub and asked for a water...

The barman said, "Still water?"
I said, "Yes mate, I haven't changed my mind".

The mind of a fool is immune to change, and who can think it strange? The reasons clear for all to know...

A fool has no mind to change.