One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.
They're about to get fucked
None. They only *talk* about change.
A reptile dysfunction.
None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
(
Why must it be a group activity?
None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.
*Ben is in a hurry.*
*Ben is in a coma.*
Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.
Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch
becomes
Jimmy went to school and ate his colon
The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."
I want everyone to know I'm the powerhouse of the cell.
Turns out, all it does is just change the color of the baby.
One. Because we are efficient and not very funny.
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
One. We are efficient and dont have humour.
Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!
They both change your ring tone
For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma."
"Let's eat punctuation"
There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"
I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it.
when do I get my adult supervision?
who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"
Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'
Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."
A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.
" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"
" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."
" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"
" - Gold, obviously!"
" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."
No one knows. They never get to keep the house.
Example:
I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.
I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making farting engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing
Or was Snoop Lyin'?
You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.
For example:
Ben is in a hurry.
Ben is in a coma.
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Change? Well, here are the best Change dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Change pick up lines to share with friends.