chandelier Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious chandelier puns

One day, the wife welcomes her lover...

...but before they start their adulterous activites, the wife says:

'Honey! Let's put a blanket on the parrot's cage, because last time he almost busted us!'

So they put a blanket on the parrot's cage. However, before they start, the lover comes up with a new idea:

'Honey! I just invented a new position! You'll go on all fours, I'll jump up on the chandelier, swing in, and I'll penetrate with a deep thrust from behind!'

To which they hear the parrot's voice:

'You can cut out my tongue for all I care, but I wanna see **that**!'


A girl is visiting her boyfriend's parents for the first time ...

and as soon as she enters the home she farts. To mask that she points at the lamp on the table and tells the parents "You have such a beautiful lamp!". The dad in response says "I bet you will shit yourself when you see our living room chandelier".


A man walks into a store..

So a man walks into a pretty exclusive store that sells expensive furniture, lamps, and such things. He's dressed pretty casually, especially considering he's actually a millionaire. He sees a very nice crystal chandelier that he fancies. So he asks one of the snotty shop keepers how much it costs. The shop keeper sneers at the man and tells him "Well, I don't think you could afford it. Perhaps you'd like to see some of our less expensive wares?".

The man is a little irritated and says to the shop keeper "Don't worry about money, I just want to know how much it costs, so can you please tell me?". The shop keeper looks at the man from head to toe, then back up, and says "Really, SIR, I don't think this is an affordable item for you. Like I said, you're more welcome to see our less expensive wares".

The man then takes a hold of the chandelier and rips it to the ground, it smashes everywhere and makes a huge mess. The man then asks the shop keeper "Now then, can you tell me how much it costs?"


My sister just smacked her head on our low hanging chandelier..

I told her she hasnt seen the light


How do you say goodbye to someone who sings Chandelier way too much?

"Sia, wouldn't wanna be ya!"


There's a new book about having sex in strange places around the house. It's on the shelves today,

And hanging from the chandelier tomorrow.


What's black and crispy, and hangs from a chandelier?

An amateur electrician


What are the most funny Chandelier jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Chandelier? Well, here are the best Chandelier dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Chandelier pick up lines to share with friends.


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