The Best 80 Chan Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Chan jokes. There are some chan chang jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chan jackie chan puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Chan Jokes and Puns
Tried to change my password to Twilight...
...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :(
The chancellor of the university is complaining to the dean of physics...
"We need to cut costs!" He says. "All this complex technology you guys use! Why can't you be more like the Maths department? All they need is pencils, paper and wastebaskets!"
"Better still," says the dean of physics, "we could be like the philosophy department. All they need is the pencils and paper."
Let's change things up a bit.
I thought I found a quarter inside one of my shoes. That would have been strange enough on its own, but it turned out to be a nickel, which made even less cents.
Chancellor Angela Merkel visits Athens.
Angela Merkel arrives at the Athens airport & stops by the immigration check.
"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?" he asks.
"No, just visiting for a few days."
"Could we change the topic, please?"
Two german friends chat and soon they come to the topic of the Holocaust. One of them then looks very sad and asks his friend: "Could we change the topic, please? I've never told you, but my grandpa died in Ausschwitz."
The other responds: "Sure, man, no problem. But may I ask you, how did your grandfather die?"
"Well, one day he got really drunk, fell from a watchtower and broke his neck..."
changed my voice settings to Spanish on my gps
it told me i didn't have enough people in the car
There were 3 Chinese men...
Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.
Can't take that chance
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker
told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man
thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and
you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take
that chance."
I changed my mind
Wife: I changed my mind...
Husband: Does the new one work?
I'm going to change my Facebook username to NOBODY.
So when people make crappy posts and I like them, it will say "NOBODY likes this."
I tried to change the colour of my monk's costume so I could reuse it
but I guess old habits dye hard.
You can explore chan wong reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chan yan dad jokes. There are also chan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I tried changing my password to "Twilight".
It said "Error: contains too many useless characters"
Change is hard.
I mean, have you ever tried to bend a quarter?
I changed my iPod's name to "The Titanic".
It's synching.
"I've changed my mind."
"Thank God! Does it work better now?"
I changed my password to "incorrect"
So when I forget it my computer will tell me "your password is incorrect"
How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?
Intersect it with a plane.
Change is hard
So don't throw coins.
If I ever had the chance to name a new road, I'd call it "Skin Road".
Just so I could laugh at the people living at number 4
I had to change the battery in my clock.
It was about time.
I just changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic"
I just changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic" and plugged it in.
It's syncing now.
What happens when U change position too fast?
You get an unpleasant vowel movement.
What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?
My newt.
Why do they want to change the faces on dollar bills but not on coins?
Because the only constant is change.
Tried changing my password to "14days"
but it was two week
For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"
Sorry, did that not make any sense?
How about -
>"A dozen, a gross, and a score,
>
>plus three times the square root of four,
>
>divided by seven,
>
>plus five times eleven,
>
>is nine squared and not a bit more."
Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?
Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby...
My name, address and telephone number.
I tried changing my password to "Goku"
But facebook said it was too weak.
I was changing some fuses at Buzzfeed...
... Number 14 shocked me.
Just changed my Facebook name to 'benefits'
so when you add me it says 'You are now friends with benefits'.
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby.
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
After I changed sex, my daughter has been ignoring me..
It seems like I'm transparent
We changed our dog's name to Dad.
Because he kept running away
Others change, but you should be yourself!
said one corn to another in the digestive tract
They changed the power of my favourite light bulbs
And they're just not watt they used to be
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
(As told by "Jackie chan" while cooking my lunch on the hibachi grill)
Change is inevitable...
Except from a vending machine.
I had a chance to buy a couple of haunted houses and turn them into rental properties...
but I said no, because who wants to be the lessor of two evils?
I have a 50% chance to get laid tonight.
I mean, if 1 out of 2 persons wants it, that's 50%, right?
I've changed so much since my GF told me she's pregnant
For example my name, address and even phone number
I tried to change my password to Beefstew1
But they said it wasn't stroganoff
Name change
Did you hear about the guy who legally changed his name to 'Username'? When he died, all the headlines read: "Username checks out!"
With all these celebrities getting outed for molesting kids, it's only a matter of time before Jackie Chan is exposed.
Like, do you have any idea how many times he told Jaden Smith to jacket off in the karate kid?
I just tried changing my password to Beefstew1
But the site said that it was not stroganoff.
Given the chance, I would probably have sex with a clock.
But only if time permits...
I changed my last name to 'Batman' the day before my wedding
My Father-in-Law didn't enjoy the wedding of Dan and Anna BATMAN.
What did they change the name of the Ford Bronco to when O.J. Simpson got acquitted?
The Ford Escape!
I changed the name of my printer to George R. R. Martin
It's old, works slow, has issues finishing jobs, and constantly disappoints me.
Just tried to change my password to..
Just tried to change my password to.. 'The_Last_Jedi,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there are too many useless characters.
Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
- 50 cent.
"What are the chances of me dying?" I asked my skydiving instructor, moments before jumping.
"Very high," he said. "My wife just left me."
What are the chances you win the lottery?
1/2 because your either win or you don't.
What does changing a password and my wife have in common?
They both keep saying "the input provided does not meet the minimum length requirements."
Change your WiFi password to 2444666668888888
So when someone asks for it, you can say 12345678
Me :well, you know, change is inedible
Her : I think you mean inevitable
Me : *spitting out nickels* nope
What are the chances that a gorilla would jump on a lion?
Anyways I lost my job at the zoo today.
I just changed my car engine to France.
Gonna have tons of revolutions now!
I want to change my hair like everybody during this quarantine.
I think I'll grow my bald spot out!
Change comes from within
But you have to insert a dollar first
I tried changing up the way I use the bathroom, so I wiped with my left hand today!
I really wish I used toilet paper instead, though.
They are changing the occupation title of mailmen so it is less gender bias
They will now be called personmen
Your chances of meeting a unicorn are extremely low.
But they are still higher than the chance of you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend
Change for a $15 bill
An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.
He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his phoney money for real cash.
He travels to a small town and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"
The old man replies, "I sure do...How would you like that? An eight and a seven or two sixes and a three?"
I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet..
But the thyme is cumin
They say "Be the change you want to see in others"
So I've decided to get big breast transplant tomorrow
I had a chance to buy an ant that had been on a recent trip to the ISS...
But it was too exorbitant for an ex-orbit ant.
I changed my name to Trump in Among Us
No one has voted me since
Change of career, I'm now an aspiring cameraman...
For onlyfans.
The chances of a bomb being on your plane is one in 300 million, but the chances of two bombs being on your plane is one in 60 billion...
which is why, when I fly, I always carry a bomb.
They're now changing the name of America to america
They don't deserve the capitol.
Is that chandelier heavy ?
Or is it pretty light ?
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby
For instance, my name, address, telephone number..
If I ever had the chance to meet Indian mathematician Brahmagupta
I'd tell him, thanks for nothing.
How can I change my Reddit username?
I'm finally off the cakepops!
They should change the spelling of "Cyclops" to "Ciclops"
Then it would only have 1 'i'
A Change
An old couple is ready to go to sleep.
The old man lies on the bed, but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, Why are you going to sleep on the floor?
The old woman says, Because I want to feel something hard for a change.
To what would you change the name of a kid named Hunter if he becomes a vegetarian?
….Gatherer
How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds it up and the world revolves around her.
How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chan choi jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chan chung piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.