chamber Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious chamber puns

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo

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Have you heard of the sexual maneuver called the "Reverse Hitler"?

It's where you ejaculate inside of an anus. i.e. create 6 million lives in a gas chamber.

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A man walks into a bar with a gun..

A guy walked into a local bar, waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.


A voice from the back of the room called out, You need more ammo!

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A man with a gun walks in to a bar...

He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"

A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"

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I got Inside a vacuum chamber once.

It was breath taking.

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Why don't Jewish men eat pussy?

Because it's too close to the gas chamber.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew?

you have to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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A cucumber, a pickle and a penis are talking...

Cucumber goes: "man, when I get big, fat and juicy, they cut me up and put me in the salad"

Pickle goes: "Shit, when I get big, fat and juicy, they put me in vinegar an onions for a month!"

Penis goes: "Well, when I get big, fat and juicy, they put a bag all over me, put me in a dark, wet chamber, then bang me against a wall for 30 seconds to 7 minutes, then I throw up all over myself and pass out"

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What's the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter

Warning: Offensive

Harry got out of the chamber.

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The Russian Mafia...

Catches up to a man who had stolen a suitcase filled with a million dollars from them years ago. he was held in a torture chamber for days, until he was ready to talk. There was one catch though... he was deaf and only knew sign language.

Thus the mafia brought in a "translator" and began asking questions.

The mafia boss asks, "Where's the money?" and the translator does his thing.

The reply comes back *"I don't know.."* and the translator relays the information.


The mafia boss cocks his gun and says, "If you don't tell me right, fucking now, where the suitcase is, I will put a bullet in your head."

The translator once more completes the hand signals.

This time the deaf man replies, *"Okay, okay. It's buried under the food shed by my house."*

The translator turns to the boss and says, "He says you don't have the balls to pull that trigger."

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So I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's chamber with Marijuana

He's a High priest now

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A man walks into a bar with a gun.

A man walks into a bar with a gun and yells out loud, "I have a 1911 with 7 rounds and 1 in the chamber! I heard the man who was sleeping with my wife hangs out here! Where is he!?" From the back of the bar a man shouts out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"

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Why is Harry Potter better than Jews?

He made it out of the chamber.

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Short gun story

A man walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a colt 45 model 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who is sleeping with my wife!"

A voice yelled from the back of the bar, "You're gonna need more ammo!"

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A man walks into a bar waving his gun around

A man walks into the bar waving his gun around yelling, "I have 45 calibre Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!" A voice from the back of the room called out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Bullet?

The Bullet leaves the chamber.

Courtesy of my comrade Ivo

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Why don't Jewish guys give oral sex?

It's too close to the gas chamber.

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Why don't Jewish men go down on their wife?

Because it's too close to the gas chamber

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A Zebra Dies and Goes to Heaven

When he reaches the pearly gates he is stopped by Saint Peter.

"Welcome to Heaven" says Saint Peter, "you may now ask God one question".

The Zebra says, "oh good, I'm going to ask him if I'm a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes!"

So the Zebra enters Gods' chamber and says, "God, am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?"

God simply replies, "You are what You are".

Disappointed the Zebra returns to Saint Peter. "What did he say?" Asks Saint Peter.

"He said. 'You are what you are'" replied the Zebra sadly.

"Oh," said Saint Peter, "that means you're a white horse".

"How do you know that?" asked the Zebra.

"Well," explains Saint Peter, "if you were a black horse He would have said, 'You is what You is'".

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I HATE being stuck in a vacuum chamber

Makes my blood boil

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Two Jewish brothers go to see the Pope...

This was the last joke told by my great grandfather before he died.

Two Jewish brothers who owned a very successful bakery, Rosen's, went to see the Pope.

They got through to his chamber, and the Pope asked what he could do for them. They said, "We have an offer for you. We will pay you 1 million dollars if you change two words of the Lord's prayer."

The Pope replied that he could not do that.

The brothers offered 5 million dollars.

The Pope said that he still could not do that.

The brothers made their final offer - 10 million dollars.

The Pope, exasperated at this point tells them that he does not have the authority to change the Lord's prayer.

The brothers seem to understand, and so begin to leave. Before they exit, though, the Pope calls out to them.

"Just out of curiosity, what two words did you want to change?"

"We just wanted you to change 'daily bread' to 'Rosen's rye'."

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Help! I'm stuck in this gas chamber.

If I don't get out now I'll die from all this oxygen and nitrogen in 70 years!

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Why don't Jews like to give rim jobs?

Because it's too close to the gas chamber.

I'll show myself out

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Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber.

It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization.

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My Favorite Anti

Why was the Black Jew mad?


He had to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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A elastic band is thrown into a torture chamber,

A man comes up to him grabs him and stretches the elastic band out until he is just about to break,

The man stares the rubber band in the eyes,
You have so much potential

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A fiery demon, clad in sleigh bells, entered the chamber.

Gandalf immediately froze in fear. It was what he had feared since entering Moria.

With each horrific step, the bells jangled damnation.

That's the jingle bell, muttered Gandalf.

Step.

That's the jingle bell.

Step.

That's the jingle Balrog.

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What's the difference between a jew and a bullet?[NSFW]

A bullet actually comes out of a chamber.

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Man, black Jews must've had it rough...

They had to sit in the back of the gas chamber.

(I'm so sorry)

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A Guy Walks Into a Bar with a Loaded Six Shooter with 1 in the Chamber

And yells "Who slept with my wife!? I'm gunna shoot that motherfuc***!"

A guy in the back yells back

"You're gunna need more ammo!"

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Why couldn't the Germans make a good vacuum chamber?

There was too much gas in them.

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I asked my friend if he knew the difference between a chamber pot and a pan


He said 'no'

Needless to say, I stopped eating at his place

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Roulette

A meeting wraps up amongst delegates in Russia. The Russian minister says to his fellow delegates, "After meetings like this, its Russian policy to drink vodka and play a round of Russian Roulette."

The Nigerian delegate asks what Russian Roulette is.

"Well I take this revolver, place a round in it, spin the chamber and fire at my temple. Then I pass it around. Each of you spins the chamber and repeats. If you die, it means you didn't have honest intentions in the meeting."

They each take their turn and live, at which point the meetings adjourn. A few months later the same group meets in Nigeria.

After their meetings the Nigerian Ambassador says "After a successful meeting in this country we like to drink Ogogoro and play a round of Nigerian Roulette."

"How do you play?" The Russian asks.

"Well I bring in 4 beautiful women. You must choose to sleep with one of them unprotected."

"That's not so bad," the Russian says "Is there a catch?"

"One of the 4 of them is HIV positive"

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An American and a Russian freeze themselves for a 100 years

....taking a bet whose country will be doing better in the future. So they enter the cryo chamber and go to sleep. When they wake up, they buy a newspaper. The Russian takes it and as he reads the headline, he starts smiling.
"The communist party wins the U.S. Elections for the fifth time in a row"

Furious, the American grabs the paper and skims through. Suddenly he starts laughing, so the Russian asks "what could you find? I obviously won!"

The American hands him the paper and points to an article which reads

"Repeated conflicts on the Chinese-Polish border"

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A man is in the confession chamber.

Father - he says - I've sinned.

What have you done, my child? answers the priest.

I raped a kid and I have blasphemed and cursed during the act.

Yeah no wonder, they never stay still.

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What are the most funny Chamber jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Chamber? Well, here are the best Chamber dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Chamber pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes