A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"
A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"
It was breath taking.
you have to sit at the back of the gas chamber.
Warning: Offensive
Harry got out of the chamber.
He's a High priest now
A guy walks into a crowded bar holding a pistol and yells I have a 45 caliber colt 1911 with one in the chamber and I wanna know who's been sleeping with my wife .
A voice from the back of the room yells
You're going to need more ammo
A man walks into a bar with a gun and yells out loud, "I have a 1911 with 7 rounds and 1 in the chamber! I heard the man who was sleeping with my wife hangs out here! Where is he!?" From the back of the bar a man shouts out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
He made it out of the chamber.
A man walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a colt 45 model 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who is sleeping with my wife!"
A voice yelled from the back of the bar, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
The Bullet leaves the chamber.
Courtesy of my comrade Ivo
It's too close to the gas chamber.
When he reaches the pearly gates he is stopped by Saint Peter.
"Welcome to Heaven" says Saint Peter, "you may now ask God one question".
The Zebra says, "oh good, I'm going to ask him if I'm a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes!"
So the Zebra enters Gods' chamber and says, "God, am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?"
God simply replies, "You are what You are".
Disappointed the Zebra returns to Saint Peter. "What did he say?" Asks Saint Peter.
"He said. 'You are what you are'" replied the Zebra sadly.
"Oh," said Saint Peter, "that means you're a white horse".
"How do you know that?" asked the Zebra.
"Well," explains Saint Peter, "if you were a black horse He would have said, 'You is what You is'".
Makes my blood boil
This was the last joke told by my great grandfather before he died.
Two Jewish brothers who owned a very successful bakery, Rosen's, went to see the Pope.
They got through to his chamber, and the Pope asked what he could do for them. They said, "We have an offer for you. We will pay you 1 million dollars if you change two words of the Lord's prayer."
The Pope replied that he could not do that.
The brothers offered 5 million dollars.
The Pope said that he still could not do that.
The brothers made their final offer - 10 million dollars.
The Pope, exasperated at this point tells them that he does not have the authority to change the Lord's prayer.
The brothers seem to understand, and so begin to leave. Before they exit, though, the Pope calls out to them.
"Just out of curiosity, what two words did you want to change?"
"We just wanted you to change 'daily bread' to 'Rosen's rye'."
If I don't get out now I'll die from all this oxygen and nitrogen in 70 years!
Because it's too close to the gas chamber.
I'll show myself out
It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization.
Why was the Black Jew mad?
He had to sit at the back of the gas chamber.
Gandalf immediately froze in fear. It was what he had feared since entering Moria.
With each horrific step, the bells jangled damnation.
That's the jingle bell, muttered Gandalf.
Step.
That's the jingle bell.
Step.
That's the jingle Balrog.
A man comes up to him grabs him and stretches the elastic band out until he is just about to break,
The man stares the rubber band in the eyes,
You have so much potential
A bullet actually comes out of a chamber.
They had to sit in the back of the gas chamber.
(I'm so sorry)
And yells "Who slept with my wife!? I'm gunna shoot that motherfuc***!"
A guy in the back yells back
"You're gunna need more ammo!"
There was too much gas in them.
A meeting wraps up amongst delegates in Russia. The Russian minister says to his fellow delegates, "After meetings like this, its Russian policy to drink vodka and play a round of Russian Roulette."
The Nigerian delegate asks what Russian Roulette is.
"Well I take this revolver, place a round in it, spin the chamber and fire at my temple. Then I pass it around. Each of you spins the chamber and repeats. If you die, it means you didn't have honest intentions in the meeting."
They each take their turn and live, at which point the meetings adjourn. A few months later the same group meets in Nigeria.
After their meetings the Nigerian Ambassador says "After a successful meeting in this country we like to drink Ogogoro and play a round of Nigerian Roulette."
"How do you play?" The Russian asks.
"Well I bring in 4 beautiful women. You must choose to sleep with one of them unprotected."
"That's not so bad," the Russian says "Is there a catch?"
"One of the 4 of them is HIV positive"
....taking a bet whose country will be doing better in the future. So they enter the cryo chamber and go to sleep. When they wake up, they buy a newspaper. The Russian takes it and as he reads the headline, he starts smiling.
"The communist party wins the U.S. Elections for the fifth time in a row"
Furious, the American grabs the paper and skims through. Suddenly he starts laughing, so the Russian asks "what could you find? I obviously won!"
The American hands him the paper and points to an article which reads
"Repeated conflicts on the Chinese-Polish border"
He said 'no'
Needless to say, I stopped eating at his place
Father - he says - I've sinned.
What have you done, my child? answers the priest.
I raped a kid and I have blasphemed and cursed during the act.
Yeah no wonder, they never stay still.
That's why I requested the gas chamber
...he indeed finds her, still asleep, but to his surprise there are already 3 other princes in her chamber apparently taking turns in banging her. He asks what is going on, to which one of them replies "You can join right in, but make sure not to kiss her!"
Archaeologists have found a second mummy inside Tutankhamun's tomb. The mummy appears to be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. Experts believe it is the remains of Pharaoh Rocher.
Because he's the only one who escaped the chamber.
...I've got some really terrible news for you guys.
Last week the laughing gas chamber broke and everyone was exposed, we ended up laughing for 5 hours straight, it was hilarious.
Not funny? Well, i guess you had to be there.
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