The Best 29 Chalk Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Chalk jokes. There are some chalk class jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chalk protractor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Chalk Jokes and Puns
Did you hear about the fractal that was murdered in the street?
It took police forever to draw the chalk outline.
"What Did?" by Shel Silverstein
What did the carrot say to the wheat?
'Lettuce' rest, I'm feeling 'beet.'
What did the paper say to the pen?
I feel quite all 'write,' my friend.
What did the teapot say to the chalk?
Nothing, you silly . . . teapots can't talk!
Teacher and her 3 boy students:
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 1: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: You are punished to stay out of school for one week.
Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 2: I saw your bra straps.
Teacher: You are punished to stay out of school for one month.
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: Why are you leaving?
Boy 3: I think my school days are over.
Teacher: why did you laugh?
Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.
Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.
Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:
boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.
Teacher: jony, why you are going out?
Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.
My favorite drawings at the Muhammad cartoon festival in Texas were the two chalk outlines out front.
Credit Evan Sayet.
How do two black boards settle their dispute?
They chalk it out
I may have witnessed the exact moment my high school became racist.
It's when they changed all the blackboards into whiteboards. There's no way they could just chalk it up.
A child was recently forced to write on the chalk board until he died
He was sentenced to death
Mrs. Johnson wrote on the chalk board, I ain't had no fun all summer.
So, George, she said. What should I do to correct this?
Get a boyfriend, George answered.
Why did the piece of chalk cross the road?
There was treasure buried underneath.
I write out all my jokes in chalk because it helps me refine them...
But this one is going nowhere so it's back to the drawing board.
You can explore chalk marker reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chalk cursive dad jokes. There are also chalk puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Help With The Dishes
After dinner my wife asked me if I could clear the table… … I'll try, but I'll need some chalk for my cue.
My trigonometry teacher was just removed from class...
He was caught writing really graphic things on the chalk board.
Archaeologists have uncovered the remains of an ancient civilisation of chalk people.
They are now determining when they were wiped out.
What did one piece of limestone say to the other?
"I think we need to chalk..."
How to blackboards communicate?
They chalk to each other
The Furious Teacher (NSFW)
Teacher: "Why are you giggling?
Boy: "I saw a strap of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come back for a week!
Another boy laughs...
Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy: "I saw both straps of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for a month!"
The teacher bends to pick a chalk, and little Johnny starts walking out of the class.
Teacher: "And where do you think YOU'RE going?"
Johnny: "With what I saw, I think my school days are over."
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek, with Einstein seeking. As he counts down, Pascal goes and hides in the bushes but Newton stands in front of him, takes out a piece of chalk, and draws a square around himself on the ground. When Einstein reaches 0, he looks up and sees Newton and declares, "I've found Newton!"
Newton replies, "No you haven't. You've found one Newton over a square meter. You've found Pascal!"
Imagine living in a giant bouncy castle.
I'm sure the rent would be insanely expensive but I would chalk that up to inflation.
They laughed at my crayon drawings...
I laughed at their chalk outlines.
I like to draw shapes in the sidewalk with chalk...
But the street is where I draw the line
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
It's Einstein's turn. He counts till ten and opens up his eyes.
Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein with a chalk in his hand. He's sitting on a box he's drawn, one metre a side.
Einstein: Newton you're terrible, I can see you!
Newton: No No Einy, you've found one Newton per square metre. You've found Pascal!
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek.
Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand.
He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"
Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per square meter.
You've found Pascal!"
Newton, Einstein and Pascal meet in Heaven.
They're bored, so Einstein suggests they play hide and seek. Einstein starts counting to 10. Pascal runs to find a good hiding spot, Newton on the other hand stays in place. He draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square with chalk on the ground and stands in it. Einstein finished counting, turns around, notices Newton and says: Ha, gotcha Newton! , but Newton just replies: Nah man, you got Pascal.
Johnny learns fast…
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 1: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: Please stay out of school for one week.
Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 2: I saw both your bra straps.
Teacher: Suspended from school for one month.
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Little Johnny started walking out of the class…
Teacher: Why are you leaving?
Little Johnny: I think my school days are over.
Yo mamma so fat... if she was murdered her chalk outline would be a circle..
I know it's not mine. But just heard it for the first time the other day. Made me smile. What is your favorite yo mamma jokes? Would love to read them
My Son asked me to explain how Government work
So I told him. They measure with a micrometer, mark with chalk and cut with Axe.
What is a chalkboards favorite treat?
Chalk-o-late
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chalk crayon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working chalk limestone piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.