The Best 35 Chairs Tables Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chairs Tables jokes. There are some chairs tables jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chairs tables puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chairs Tables Jokes and Puns

Too Shy!!!

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.

"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."

"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."

In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?"

"Put them on the chair, on top of mine.

A blind man walks into a bar...

and a table... and a chair.

How was your job interview yesterday?

Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....

He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...

He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...

So I took the laptop and left...

Left... ?? Then what ??

Nothing...

30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....

So I asked him:

Will you buy it ??

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye.

The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: Dear, breakfast is made. I've gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!

He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there's breakfast. Joe, he says to his son, what happened last night?

You came home soused and got that black eye tripping over a chair.

So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?

Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take off your clothes, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"


The Priest and the Politician

A priest and a politician arrived at Heaven's gate one day together. And St. Peter, after doing all the necessary formalities, took them to show them where their quarters would be.

First, he took them to a small, single room with a bed, a chair, and a table and said this was for the priest. And the politician was a little worried about what might be in store for him. And he couldn't believe it then when St. Peter stopped in front of a beautiful mansion with lovely grounds, many servants, and told him that these would be his quarters.

And he couldn't help but ask, he said, "But wait, howβ€”there's something wrongβ€”how do I get this mansion while that good and holy man only gets a single room?" And St. Peter said, "You have to understand how things are up here. We've got thousands upon thousands of priests. You're the first politician who ever made it.

It's my cake day or something, Here's a dad joke :)

A blind man walks into a bar,


And then a table,


And then a chair.

Helen Keler walked into a bar

then a table.....then a chair.

I literally just last week realized there is no such thing as "the heavy end" 🀦

I am a 28 year old male, and for as long as I can remember every time me and my dad move something, such as a chair, or a couch, or a coffee table, he said "alright I'll get the heavy end" and idk why I always just assumed he was being nice and getting the heavier side.

And it literally just occurred to me within the last few weeks when we picked something up, there's no heavy end. They're both the same weight 😭😭😭

The most beautiful woman I've ever seen came up to my table in a restaurant and asked me if I'm single...

I happily replied,

"Yess..."

She took away the extra chair in front of me.

A blind guy walks into a bar...

...then a table, then a chair, then another chair...

You can explore chairs tables reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chairs tables dad jokes. There are also chairs tables puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Instagram user walks into a bar...

A Instagram user walks into a #bar #pub #brewery #happyhour #bigplace #beer #night #party #fun #photography #conceptual #art #drink #peperoni #olives #lights #table #chair #followme

Stevie Wonder walks into a bar...

And a table, and a chair.

A girl went to a doctor for a checkup....

During her annual checkup, the attractive woman was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. Doctor… she replied shyly, I feel uncomfortable undressing in front of you. All right, said the physician, I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're done. A few moments later her voice called out from the darkness, Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with all my clothes? Put them on the chair, on top of mine.

A blind man walks into a bar

Three tables, two chairs and the wall

I was at a restaurant...

A girl came over to me and asked "are you single? So I excitedly replied "Yes!"

So she took the extra chair from my table.

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants?

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants?

Ferniture.

A blind man walks into a bar

Then into the priest, the rabbi, the minister, then into a table and into a chair.

A blind man walks into a bar...

...and a table

...and a chair

...and people


Hellen Keller walks into a bar

And a chair. And a table. And a wall.

A blind man walked into a bar..

Then a table...then a chair

Three blind priests walks into a bar

And then the tables. And then the chairs...

Three friends throw darts for high scores at a pub...

The first dude hits the 20 three times and calls: "SIXTY!"

The second one hits two darts in the 20 and one in the triple 20 and shouts: "ONE HUNDRED!"

When the third guy takes his turn, after throwing a 20 and a triple 20 the third dart deflects off the board and hits a nun sitting at the table next to it right at the temple. The woman immediately drops off her chair and the player goes: "ONE NUN DEAD AND EIGHTY!"

So Helen Keller walks into a Bar

And a table, and a chair

A person with multiple sclerosis walks into a bar...

and a chair....

and a table...

and the wall...

...you get it.

An alcoholic walks into a candy store...

then a table, then a chair, floor.

What do you call an Irishman who makes outdoor tables and chairs?

Patty O'furniture.

I'm not clumsy

It's just that the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the wall gets in the way.

Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!

I was sitting in a restaurant. A girl came to me and asked me if I was single...

I smiled and happily answered "yes I am!

So she took the chair that was in front of me and went back to her table with it..."

A gost walks into a bar

Then through a wall, and a chair, and a table.

Not sure if this is a repost but I thought of it myself

Why is the table always stoic?

Because there was no chair attached.

What's in common between a chair and a table?

They are both not hummus

A friend told me this joke and I almost died...

"Dad, could you lend me your chair? I'm fixing the table."

"Sorry, son. I'm not feeling particularly chairitable today."

so my parents were pointing around the house and they said disa chair, disa table, disa fridge....

Then they pointed at me and said disappointment

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chairs tables jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chairs tables piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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