Amusing & Witty Chairman Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
The chairman of Perdue Chicken goes to the Vatican to meet the pope.
Jim Perdue, CEO of Perdue Chicken, goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. He says "Pope Francis, it is an honor to meet you. As you know, I am a devoted Catholic, and I'm bringing a generous donation today - 2 million dollars - and in return I simply ask you hear a proposal."
Pope Francis says, "yes, of course."
Jim Perdue says "I propose you change all references of bread to chicken. For example, 'Give us this day out daily chicken.' And instead of bread-based Eucharist, you could give chicken nuggets."
Pope Francis says, "sir, that is really not a feasible proposal."
Perdue says, "tell you what, I'll donate the $2 million no strings attached, but if you implement my proposal, I'll donate another $20 million."
The Pope merely thanks him and leaves the room.
The next day, at a meeting with his cardinals, the pope says, "Exalted cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church... we need to discuss the Wonderbread account."
The Soviet chairman asks a high ranking party member about potato supplies
Chairman: How does our potato supply look?
Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.
Chairman: But God does not exist.
Party member: Neither do the potatoes.
What did it say on the former chairman of the Hypochondriac Association's tombstone?
Told you!
The Life and Times of Chairman Pao
I told my cat all about Chairman Mao this morning
Now she won't shut up about him!
Why did Hillary Clinton had her campaign chairman John Podesta send the crowd home from the Clinton HQ?
She 'accidently' deleted the email with her consession speech.
Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.
he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.
Who was the sweetest dictator?
Chairman Maoam
Stephen Hawking
If Stephen hawking started a company, What would his position in the company be?
The Chairman
The chairman of the FCC...
Why is everyone criticising Aji Pai?
I've only ever known Aji Pai as an American attorney as the Chairman of United States FCC who makes the best decisions. Aji Pai has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).
You can explore chairman fcc reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chairman slander dad jokes. There are also chairman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm the FCC chairman and the man hoping to abolish net neutrality. I am Ajit Pai, AMA
Perhaps we should start throwing small potatoes at FCC Chairman Pai to express our displeasure and to annoy him.
It would make him Ajit-tatered.
(disclaimer, do not throw potatoes at people, duh)
I like to think of my willpower as being like a bunch of people.
When it's time to go to bed, my people tell me to go to bed and I stay up late. When it's time to get up, my people tell me to get up and I stay in bed.
If I get any better at going against the will of my people, I could qualify for FCC chairman.
Why does the FCC Chairman have the last name "Pai"?
Because he is irrational...
What does the chairman of the FCC eat for dessert?
Samsung's chairman has been freed from jail
Sources say he couldn't be charged, but when he went outside he was greeted with an excellent reception.
Stalin loses his pipe...
...he tells the KGB chairman to find Stalin's pipe.
Three days later, Stalin finds his pipe under a sofa. He calls the chairman to tell him that he can call off the search.
Upon telling him the news, the chairman said: "But that's impossible! Three people have already confessed to stealing the pipe!"
Who would win in a table tennis match: the President of the United States of America or the Chairman of the Worker's Party of Korea?
Kim. Jong. Kim. Jong. Kim. Jong. Kim. Jong.
Why did the board outvote the chairman with vertigo?
Because the balance of power had shifted away from the person who had lost his power of balance.
Why was Kim Jong-Un so desperate to sit down with president Trump and have a serious talk?
Because he's a chairman
Technically, Carpenter is
The Chairman.
I accidentally joined an organization...
I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.
When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.
The chairman of the FCC is starting a new business.
It's going to be called PaiPal.
Kim Jung Un: Pshhhhh. Walking on the moon? I can walk on the sun!
Kin Jung Un's Advisor: Uh...Um....Mr-Mr Chairman? The sun is too hot you cannot go walk on the sun
Kim Jung Un: Then I'll go at night!!
Trump watching this on Tv: He is such an idiot. There is no sun at night!
Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?
Chairman Meow
The Russian Potato Crop The Agricultural managers always have to report the yearly crop numbers to the Chairman, and they always lie a little to make themselves look good. But one year the potato crop is very bad.
The potatoes are small, and there aren't very many of them. But the managers tell the Chairman, "There are so many potatoes! We have made a huge mountain of them, that reaches all the way up to God." the Chairman says, "Don't be silly now, you know God doesn't really exist." The managers look at each other and then one of them says "Neither do the potatoes."
Bill Gates is hanging out with GM's Chairman...
Gates is in a taunting mood. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But, Bill, would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
