The Best 22 Chainsaw Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chainsaw jokes. There are some chainsaw hacksaw jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chainsaw maple puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chainsaw Jokes and Puns

The racist chainsaw

when you turn it on it will roar out "RUNNN-niggernigger!"

What do you get when you cut a hooker in half with a chainsaw?

an erection

Man goes into a hardware store...

Says to the shopkeeper, "Can I have a roll of masking tape and some zip ties"

Shopkeeper smiles knowingly, "I'm sorry, thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray film we're out of stock"

The man winces and replies, "OK, just give me a chainsaw and some bin bags"

Chainsaw joke, Man goes into a hardware store...

What is big, vibrates and makes a woman scream when put inside her?

A chainsaw.

All my chainsaws broke last night...

I guess you can call it a chainsaw massacre.

I'll walk my self out now...


What do you call a round table with women sitting around it?

... A Chainsaw

told by my 8 year old cousin

Two guys are cutting down trees

Two guys are cutting down trees. The guy cuts down 3 trees and is tired. After work he meets his friend and asks him: "How many trees did you cut down?"
His friend says: "Around 20."
He can't believe so he asks: "How could you possibly cut down 20 trees?"

"Well, it's nothing special. You take a chainsaw, turn it on and start cutting."

"Wait! You turn it on?!"

Chainsaw joke, Two guys are cutting down trees

Confucius on Friendship...

"It takes more than just a chainsaw to chop of both of your arms what you really need is.....a friend"-Confucious

how to keep all your work you've typed up in microsoft word.

you need a paper clip and a chainsaw to tell clippy to stop telling me to turn all caps.

A woman on her period is like a chainsaw

yank on the string and she'll make alot of noise

A guy accidentally cut himself with a chainsaw

He'll Stihl be feeling that in the morning.

You can explore chainsaw oak reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chainsaw viola dad jokes. There are also chainsaw puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was NOT an accurate depiction of what really happened.

They used different chainsaws.

What's a mutuality between a woman and a chainsaw?

One slip and your finger is gone.

I will never understand why my neighbors complain about my chainsaw waking them up at 2am.

It's a chainSAW not a chainHEARD.

The New Lumberjack

A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working fine.

The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"

Somebody attacked Bill Clinton's vice president with a chainsaw.

Witnesses described a mess of blood and Gore.

Chainsaw joke, Somebody attacked Bill Clinton's vice president with a chainsaw.

How many Saudies does it take to change a light bulb?

15, and a chainsaw for some reason.

What noise does Captain Morgan's chainsaw make?

RUMMRUMRUMRUMRUMRUMRUMRUM

Why can Jack Sparrow never find a chainsaw?

Because the rum is always gone


A man goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The server sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it will cut through over 100 trees in one day.

The man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees but after working for hours he only cuts down two trees.

How can I cut for hours and hours and only finish two trees? he asks himself.

Next day the man brings the chainsaw back to the store and says it doesn't work properly.

Hmm, it looks okay, says the server, and starts the chainsaw.

The man jumps back in shock and cries, What's that noise?

What's the difference between a depressed criminal and a cat cutting down a gumtree with a chainsaw?

One's a felon feeling glum, and the other is a feline felling gum.

"Look Ma, no hands!"

"Well, didn't I warn you about playing with the chainsaw?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chainsaw lumberjack jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chainsaw bonsai piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes