The Best 25 Chained Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Chained jokes. There are some chained chain sex jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these chained leather puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Chained Jokes and Puns

Three women and ducks

Three women die in a car accident and go to heaven when they are at the gate god tells them that there is only one rule and that is that you may not step on a duck. They women enter and do their best to enjoy heaven while being cautious about where they step for there are ducks everywhere. After about a week one of the three women steps on a duck and suddenly this old, smelly, repulsive and hairy man is chained to her for life. This only makes the other women more careful and another month passes by when a second of the three women steps on a duck. Then chained to her is a man more repulsive then the first. The third woman becomes ever so cautious and make it a whole year without treading upon a duck. Chained to her is a handsom, muscular and wonderful gentleman. She says to him "What happened to you?" he replies " I stepped on a duck..."

How many bullets do you need to kill a jew?

Just one if they're all chained up.


Three women die in an accident and go to Heaven. There Saint Peter says, 'We only have one rule - don't step on the ducks!' They enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks everywhere. In fact, it's almost impossible not to step on a duck, and the first woman accidently steps on one straight away. Saint Peter comes along with the ugliest man the woman has ever seen and chains them together saying, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' The next day, the second woman steps on a duck and she too is chained to an incredibly ugly man. The third woman is very, very careful with the ducks and manages to avoid stepping on any of them. One day Saint Peter comes along and chains her to an incredibly handsome man. The woman is delighted but wonders why she's been blessed. She gets on her knees and prays aloud, 'Oh Lord, what have I done to deserve this bounty?' The man says, 'I don't know about you, lady, but I trod on a duck.'

Chained joke, Ducks

slave Leia

A man comes home to his girlfriend who is in a slave Leia costume, chained to the bed and stretched out seductively. The man gets angry and says "I'm not that fat!"

I like my women how I like my bicycles,

chained up in the garage.

I chained up my trophy wife in the basement...

She's atrophy wife now.

I like my women how I like my old bike...

... chained up in the shed.

Chained joke, I like my women how I like my old bike...

I don't understand why banks keep their pens chained to the counter

If I trust you with my money, then you should trust me with your pen!

Why did Princess Leia get a job at Cinnabon?

She has experience chained to heaps of fatty rolls.

Saw a black man run down the street with a flatscreen under his arm

At first i thought it was mine,
but then i remembered that mine was chained in my backyard picking cotton

I like my women like I like my bikes.

Chained up and locked down in my garage.

You can explore chained laced reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean chained ugliest dad jokes. There are also chained puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start

What had 8 legs and lives in the ocean?

4 bodys chained to a brick.

...also, octopi

I saw a black guy riding a bike down the street

I thought it was mine, so I checked my garage and it was still chained up, begging for food.

I once chained my bike to a large Pole...

... he was very upset!

Today I saw a kid riding a bike and thought it was mine

Then I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food

Chained joke, Today I saw a kid riding a bike and thought it was mine

I saw a black guy riding a bike near my house yesterday

I thought it was mine. So I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food.

When I was walking home

When I was walking home, I saw a child riding a bike. It looked remarkably like mine, so I hurried home to make sure. When I got there, I saw it was still chained up in my garage asking for food

I saw a black man riding a bike...

I quickly ran back to my garage to check if it was mine. There it was still chained up and asking for food.

Bike is short for Bichael

So yesterday i was sitting on my front porch and i saw a black guy riding a bike, i thought it was mine so i checked my shed but it was still there chained up and asking for food

Amongst the usual queue of studded leather, chained piercings and rubber appendages, the S&M club doorman was surprised to see a bespectacled man in a shirt and tie standing patiently, a calculator in one hand. "Who are you, are you lost?" asked the doorman.

"Oh, I'm the statistician" came the reply.
"Then...what are you here for?"
With an unsettling grin, the statistician produced a pencil from his back pocket.
"Just standard deviation."

i saw a black man on a bike yesterday

i thought it was mine so i went and checked my garage, turns out my one was still chained up begging for food

I was driving down the road yesterday and I saw a black guy on a bike that looked like mine.

I went home and luckily it was still chained up asking for food.

I saw a black guy riding a bike this morning

I thought it looked like mine, but when I looked in my garage, it was still chained up, asking for food.

Today I saw a guy with bicycle, I thought that was mine

But mine was chained up in basement asking for food

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the chained hideous jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working chained duck piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes