The Best 7 Certainty Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Certainty jokes. There are some certainty confidently jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these certainty antonyms puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Certainty Jokes and Puns

Flat Earth theory debunked

We can say with certainty that the Earth is not flat because if it was cats would have tossed everything off the edge already.

A plane is going to crash...

The passengers on board know they only have a few minutes left to live and one woman stands up from her chair and calls out to everyone. "We're all going to die...but before we do, is there anyone on board who can make me feel like a woman?"
A young handsome man rises up from his seat with a look of strong determination and nods with certainty. "Of course, I can!" And he pulls his shirt off at once.
He holds it out to her and says "Here, iron this!"

We now know with 100% certainty that Ted Cruz is not the biological father to his children.

He always pulls out when it gets hard.

A walk to the zoo.

A man walks for four days to visit a zoo.

The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

The dog looks like a St. Bernard, but the man is steadfast in his belief that it is, with certainty, a Shih Tzu.

How can you tell with 100% certainty that a parent is treating their kid right?

The kids cage is cleaned regularly.


Have you heard about all the decapitations happening in the Middle East right now?

I certainty won't beheading their anytime soon!

-wink-

What is the difference between Baroque and Rococo?

Nobody can say with certainty, the only sure thing is if you start doing a lot of Rococo you're going to end up Baroque.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the certainty uncertain jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working certainty qualities piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes