The Best 85 Ceremony Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Ceremony jokes. There are some ceremony aerials jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ceremony wedding ceremony puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Ceremony Jokes and Puns
Why did the orange fleshed melon have to have a traditional marriage ceremony?
Obviously because it Cantelope.
For anyone attending Stan Lee's funeral...
Make sure you stay after the ceremony is finished.
I proposed my Russian girlfriend and she said Yes!
For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.
It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind.
Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people were waiting to get a fruity drink from a bowl.
As we passed, they all said in unison, "You may now kiss the bride!" My wife got giddy and gave me a big kiss, which I of course returned.
As we walked away I asked, "Why did *they* tell us to kiss and not the priest?"
My wife answered,
"In Soviet Russia, the punchline tells you!"
Antenna's Wedding
Two antennas got married. The ceremony was awful but the reception was awesome.
I can't describe how disappointed I am...
...that the Congo weren't in single file in the Olympic Opening Ceremony
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
The ceremony was alright, but the reception was fantastic!
Two satellite dishes met on a roof...
They hit it off and decided to get married. The ceremony was boring but the reception was great!
A boy sees that his pet turtle isn't moving...
"Mommy, my turtle is dead," wailed the little boy to his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.
His mom said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in a tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a lovely burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for a yummy big ice cream, and then get you a great new pet, like a puppy!" Just then, she noticed the turtle move. "Look! Your turtle isn't dead after all!"
"Oh," said the little boy, "can we kill it?"
Two antennas got married.
The ceremony was nothing to write home about, but the reception was outstanding.
After performing a marriage ceremony, the Rabbi gave some advice to the newlyweds.
"The first ten years are always the hardest," said the Rabbi.
"How many years have you been married?" They asked.
"Ten years," the Rabbi replied.
A couple of TV antennas...
got married, the ceremony was a little boring, but the reception was great!
You can explore ceremony inauguration reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ceremony celebratory dad jokes. There are also ceremony puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
i went to a wedding for two antennae
The ceremony was pretty bad, but the reception was amazing
Did you hear about the two radio antennae who fell in love and decided to get married?
The ceremony was okay, but the reception was excellent.
Two antennas met on a rooftop...
...they fell in love and got married. I heard the ceremony was pretty average... but the reception was excellent!
Two TV antennas were just married.
The ceremony was nothing special, but the reception was great.
Why did the farmer get nominated for an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony?
Because he was out standing in his field.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?
I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
If grandmas had an award ceremony, what would it be called?
The Grammy's
A bit different, this isn't a joke, but I have an idea for a joke
Basically, in the joke, there's a bride and a groom, and they are planning their wedding. The bride leaves the groom at the altar, and the ceremony goes off *without a hitch*
How can I word this joke to make it the most effective?
How do people finish graduating from a Journalist school? They have to answer one last question. That question is "how do you do an excellent article?"
And the graduate answers "well, I think you press ctrl-c."
"Yes, go on," says the teacher.
"Then you press ctrl-v," says the graduate.
Five minutes later it's the graduation ceremony.
Two antennas meet on a roof and fall in love...
They date for awhile, get engaged, and then get married. The wedding ceremony itself wasn't that great, but the reception was amazing!
Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy?
They wanted to give credit where credit was due.
Two aerials (antennas) meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
What do you call an award ceremony for the latest and greatest software developments?
The Programmys
I once went to a Japanese Tea ceremony...
It was steeped in tradition.
Two antennas met on a roof...
they fell in love, and decided to get married. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was excellent.
Right now, my wife has a smoking hot bod...
The ash scattering ceremony starts at 2:00 PM.
Two antennas decided to get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A man passes away...
A man passes away and his funeral is set to be held in his hometown where one of his sons lives. The other, a wealthy businessman, unfortunately can't make it to the ceremony so instead he offers to pay for the entire thing. A few months later, the businessman is looking over his finances and notices a recurring bill of $120 a month. Confused, he called up his brother and asks him if he knows anything about it.
"Oh yeah" the brother replies. "Dad always wanted to go out in style so we rented him a tuxedo"
My son said he was touched by the priest at todays religious service
I was there too, it was a beautiful ceremony
Two antennas met on a roof...
After a while they fell in love and in a few years time the antennas got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was great!
Mr. Smith is on vacation with his wife and mother-in-law in Jerusalem
One day, his mother-in-law dies quite suddenly. An undertaker proposes to bury the deceased there in Jerusalem.
'No, thank you,' says Mr. Smith. 'I'd rather have the body shipped back to New York.'
'But why not?' asks the undertaker. 'Shipping a body is expensive, and I could organise a beautiful ceremony here...'
'Look, sir! We're talking about my mother-in-law... Two thousand years ago, they buried a young man here who was resurrected three days later; I'm not taking any chances!'
Four nuns about to take their vows..
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.
Dressed in their white gowns, they entered the chapel for their symbolic marriage to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."
Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said, "I am so honored you want to share this experience with us. May I ask why you came?"
"We're from the groom's family."
The inauguration ceremony should be like the olympics.
They can play the US national anthem, then the Russian one.
Donald Trump had a record amount of religious leaders participate in his inaugural ceremony including: a priest, a deacon, and....
one hundred million people saying "god help us"
Two antennas get married . . .
. . . the ceremony was average but the reception was outstanding
Hear about the two antennae that got married?
The ceremony was awful
But the reception was out of this world.
Credit to my 13yr old for that one
Reception
-An antenna and a satellite dish meet on a roof. The get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
Ceremony presenter: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...."
The audience, in unison: "DID YOU JUST ASSUME OUR GENDERS?!"
I made my wife's dreams come true and we were married in a castle.
But you sure wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around during the ceremony.
Why is the bride on the left in a wedding ceremony?
Because after the marriage she is always right.
Two antennas got married
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
2 antennas met on a roof.
They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible!
"I do." "I know."
The priest cleared his throat disapprovingly:
"Mister Solo, you need to say the words so we can end the ceremony."
I was at a scholarship ceremony, and after listening to awards given for diversity, I left the room, crying. When someone asked me if I was okay, I responded....
"I'm all-white."
Two antennas got married. Wedding ceremony was a disaster.
But reception was really good.
What did renowned Little Shop of Horrors fan, Queen Elizabeth, say to Patrick Stewart at his knighting ceremony?
Kneel, Patrick Stewart.
I had my wedding under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great but the reception was excellent.
Why do melons hold the traditional ceremony of marriage in such high regard?
Because they can't elope.
Millions of people tuned in attentively to the world's best music last night.
And everyone at the Grammy's were able to too after the ceremony was over.
What did the South Korean flag holder say to the North Korean holder after the ceremony?
Hey, let's grab some lunch! I bet you're starving!
TIL There's a huge, televised award ceremony for coke dealers held every year...
They call it the grammies
Two antennas sat next to each other on a roof for years
They fall in love and decide to get married.
The ceremony was not very good.
The reception was *fantastic*.
Two Antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, and decide to get married
The ceremony wasn't much. But the the RECEPTION was amazing!
A cyber security conference hired Céline Dion to perform at their opening ceremony.
She sang her new song... "Can beauty come out of hashes"
I sat next to an insurance salesman during Robbie Williams performance at the World Cup opening ceremony
And through it all, he offered me protection.
Two melons are sitting in a field, talking about how much they love each other...
The first melon talks about how it wants a great big wedding, and how all their fruit and vegetable friends will be there to celebrate. The other melon wants them to run away together and have a 4-H judge do a quick ceremony. They argue passionately back and forth, when exasperated the second melon asks, "why do we even need to have a wedding?" The first melon replies, "don't be silly honey, we cantaloupe."
Hopefully I will win the Biggest Improvement award at the anger management ceremony.
The competition is fierce.
Did you guys hear about the two cellphone towers that got married?
It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*
I went to the marriage of two satellites last night
The ceremony was dull, but the reception was great.
On the day I got married, at the ceremony, I stood up and tapped my glass for everyone to be silent.
I held up a fruit and said nothing, scanning the crowd for any sign of pleasure.
All I got was a series of blank expressions, and I could feel my animosity growing as I searched each person, then the next.
"What's wrong with you all?" I finally shouted. "I thought you guys would love my wedding's peach!"
Why didn't the flat-earther accept his award at the ceremony?
He didn't believe in golden globes.
Did you hear about the antenna that got married?
The ceremony wasnt much but the reception was amazing!
Two Irishmen leave a funeral
One says to the other, "It was a beautiful ceremony." "Twas", says the other. First says, "When I pass, would you pour a bottle of good Irish whiskey over my grave?" "Of course", says the second, "but would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?"
After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back and earned her very first diploma...
...I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends.
A joke that only Jews will get.
A Jewish man is getting married to a nonreligious woman. His religion is important to him so she agrees to have a Jewish wedding. The ceremony goes well, and all that's left is for the groom to break the glass. He steps on the glass, and it breaks in such a way that it slices his foot right through the shoe. He's bleeding badly.
The bride screams "Oh no he's hurt! Is anyone here a doctor?"
The Queen of England had a gift for a man who would soon be knighted. She insisted that he be given the gift at the ceremony but told her staff to keep it a secret.
She wanted it to be a Sir Prize.
My ex wife is getting remarried and they invited me to be in the wedding ceremony...
They want me to be the worst man.
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
The ceremony wasn't anything special, but the reception was incredible!
Two antennas met on a roof...
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
True Rosh Hashanah story
This is an actual conversation between my non-Jewish friend and his Jewish wife many years ago, before his first time going to High Holiday services:
Husband: So, can you tell me what to expect at Rosh Hashanah services?
Wife: It's a great ceremony. The best part is when they blow the shofar!
H: I'll drive.
Probably 30 years later and it still makes me laugh. And they're still together.
Don't let this election distract you...
From the fact that Slytherin blew a 472 to 312 point lead to Gryffindor for the House Cup during the trophy presentation ceremony at Hogwarts back in 1992.
Two antennae get married on a roof
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was *amazing*!
Did you hear about the swear word ranking ceremony?
Shit went down
Two antennas
Two antennas got married.
The ceremony was Ok, but the reception was amazing.
Chester was really happy, he was about to meet the Queen.
He had been a physics prodigy hailing from a small town in England, and had just been selected to be Knighted by the Queen of England.
After the ceremony, his best friend remarked to him:
"Man, Chester, you Knighted!"
Two professors were at an award ceremony.
An interviewer approached them.
"Sorry to ask but everyone has been wondering, which one of you is cleverer?"
The first professor smiled modestly.
"I don't want to boast. But i also don't want to be dishonest...."
The second professor interrupted
"And yet you've managed to do both!"
Why cant you trust Italians at an award ceremony?
They've been known to rig a Tony
I'm not in favor of sex before marriage
disrupts the ceremony
Two antennas fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was amazing.
A big bar chain opened a bar on Mount Everest.
Naturally a lot of people were really excited to be able to have a few drinks in the highest place in the world.
There was a lot of buzz and excitement about this new bar but when it came to opening day. The opening ceremony was poor, the drinks tasted bad and the service was terrible.
Everyone was bitterly disappointed that the bar did meet their expectations.
A lesson was learnt that day by the owners of the Everest Bar.
Don't set the bar so high.
A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
Did you hear about the two antennas who got married?
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was amazing.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ceremony invitation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working ceremony eulogy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.