Ceos Jokes
27 ceos jokes and hilarious ceos puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ceos that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ceos Short Jokes
Short ceos jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ceos humour may include short executive jokes also.
- What do you call an i**... Italian immigrant? an imPASTA!
- Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines ceo Oscar Munoz has stated... "Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".
- The CEO of Pepsi was fired this morning. They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.
*I have to be factually correct. - I asked 7 CEOs what's the secret to your success? , and they all said the same thing: How did you get in my house?
- I saw on the news that the CEOs of T-mobile and Sprint got married last weekend. Great wedding, terrible reception.
- My dad works for a company that focuses on the health of the lower 3/4 of the body, and yesterday he just became the CEO. Now he's the Head of Shoulders, Knees, and Toes!
- CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading... You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.
This could turn into a total Meltdown. - CEO asks the VP: Hey, have you been boning my new secretary? VP says: No! .
CEO: Good, then YOU fire her. - An unhinged neurosurgeon, a tech CEO, and a Southern baptist preacher walk into a bar... they all ask for your vote
- McDonald's fired CEO Steve Easterbrook has already got a new job at Old McDonalds farm He's their CIEIO
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Ceos One Liners
Which ceos one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ceos? I can suggest the ones about miller and corporate.
- CEO of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden He is currently assembling his cabinet.
- What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie Total recall
- Jeff Bezos stepped down as CEO of Amazon. Quit when he was in his Prime.
- The CEO of AT&T just got married... The service was okay, but the reception was terrible.
- What does the CEO of Keurig have in common with ISIS? They both hate the French press
- Did you hear the CEO of Honda wont be back next year? He's leaving of his own accord.
- What's the title of audi CEO? Lord of the Rings.
- What kind of piano songs does the Nike CEO play? Just duets
- The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies They are always so twisted.
- The CEO of Comcast dies and goes to heaven...
- Why was the vampire removed as CEO? He couldn't appeal to the stakeholders.
- If the Amazon CEO had a pill addiction, what should his nickname be? Jeff Benzos
- I quit my job as CEO at the pc fan factory They needed a cooler master
- Mr. CEO, how many people work at your company?? Mehhh...on a good day? About half.
- What is Apple's CEO's favourite TV show? Lost
Uproarious Ceos Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about ceos you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spokesperson jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ceos pranks.
Four CEOs of beer companies are having a meeting and they decide to get a drink.
The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?
He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."
The employees play basketball or soccer
Department directors play tennis. CEOs play golf!
The higher the position, the smaller the balls...
Annual Brewers Convention
The CEOs of Budweiser, Heineken and Guinness meet at the annual Brewers Convention. They decide to go for drinks afterwards.
They go to a bar and sit down at a table. The CEO of Budweiser says, "First round is on me!" and orders three Budweisers. They drink and chat, and after a while the CEO of Heineken says, "My turn!" and orders three Heineken.
They drink and talk a bit more, until the CEO of Guinness says, "My turn!" and orders three Dr. Pepper. The others look at him, surprised, and ask him if he doesn't want to drink beer. He replies, "Well, YOU didn't order any beer either, so I thought YOU didn't want to..."
How many startup CEOs does it take to change a light bulb?
Change a light bulb? Pfft! We are game changers.
Another Irish joke involving beer
While attending the World Beer Conference, the CEOs of Anhueser-Busch, Coors, and Guiness went out to eat together. When the waitress asked them what they would like to drink, the CEO of Anhueser-Busch replied, "Get me a Budweiser, the king of beers!" Not to be outdone, the Coors CEO told her, "I want a Coors. It's as refreshing as a Rocky Mountain spring!" The waitress turned to the Guiness CEO, who ordered a Diet Coke. Surprised, his companions asked why he hadn't ordered a Guiness. Smiling, he told them, "I figured if you fellows weren't going to have a beer, I shouldn't either."
What do people hate about CEOs of big internet companies?
They act too paowerful
Four CEOs meet up at a bar
Its the CEO of Budweiser, CEO of Heineken, CEO of Carlsberg and CEO of Guinness. The CEO from Budweiser orders a Bud and says "the best selling beer in america" and enjoys a sip. The CEO of Heineken orders him a Heineken, says "the best selling beer in Europe" and takes a sip. The CEO of Carlsberg takes a bottle of Carlsberg, takes a sip and say "probably the best beer in the world". The CEO of Guinness askes the bartender if he can have pepsi, all the other CEO's spits out their beer and start laughing at him and asks why he don't order a beer. The CEO of Guiness shrugs and said "if you girls ain't ordering beer, then neither am I."
The CEOs of Budweiser, Coors, Killian's, and Guinness walk into a bar....
...and the bartender takes orders. The CEO of Budweiser says "I'll take a Bud Light. It's crisp, refreshing, and doesn't hurt the budget!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Coors says "I'll take a Coors light. It's colder, even more refreshing, and won't give you a beer gut!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Killian's says "These guys are amateurs, give me a Killian's Irish Red. It's smooth, flavorful, and distinct!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Guinness says "I'll have a water."
The others give a confused look. The bartender says "but... why aren't you ordering a beer?"
He responds, "well, nobody else did."
Beer CEOs walk into a bar...
The CEOs of Budweiser, Guinness, Coors, and Miller all walk into a bar after a beer-tasting contest. The CEO of Budweiser steps up to the bar and says: "I'll have a Budweiser, the King of Beers!" The Coors CEO says: "I'll have a Coors, the beer as cool as the Rockies!" The Miller CEO says, in turn: "I'll have the good ol' taste of a triple-hops brewed Miller!" The CEO of Guinness ponders for a moment and says to the bartender: "Oh, I'll just have a Coke." Bewildered, the other 3 CEOs stare and ask why he didn't order a beer. The Guinness CEO shrugged and said "Well, if you weren't ordering beer, I didn't think I would either".
