The Best 58 Century Jokes

Following is our collection of Century jokes which are very funny. There are some century millenia jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these century millennia puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Century Jokes and Puns

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"

I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

The plastic straw bans now happening in many cities were predicted by a 16th Century prophet.

His name was No-straw-damus.

Why is the rate of unemployed black people higher than in the 20th century?

Because synthetic cotton is more popular.

I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury...

I guess you could say they were baroque.

In the 18th century, a hopeful Asian laborer landed in America and went straight to the employment office.

He didn't speak a word of English, and the men at the employment office couldn't figure out where he was from. They took a vote to see if he was Chinese or Japanese.

It was a Thai.


Why does the Buick Century have that name?

It's the average age of someone who drives one.

The Hot-Headed Doctor (a 4th century joke taken from the oldest recorded joke book, The Philogelos).

Consulting a hotheaded doctor, a fellow says, "Professor, I'm unable to lie down or stand up; I can't even sit down!" The doctor responds: "I guess the only thing left is to hang yourself."

In the 1700s, Muslims invented the first condoms. They used goat intestines.

Then in the next century, Europeans took the invention to the next level. They took the intestines out of the goat.

What do you call a racist 19th century artist?

Oppressionist

21st Century

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century, old man," he said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad."

I can tell you, that friggin' fly never knew what hit it ...

19th century monarchy humor, anyone?

So Otto von Habsburg walks into a sports bar, sees a game on, and asks the bartender who's playing. "Austria and Hungary," he replies. Otto: "Yeah, who are they playing against?"

Related Topics

You can explore century fifties reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean century renaissance dad jokes. There are also century puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What hangs at a man's thigh and is meant to be stuck into a hole all the time?

A key.

----------

This joke was found to have been made in *tenth century England.*

Condom origins

Did you know the condom was invented in a small village in wales in the 12th century. They thought it would be a good idea to use the lower intestine of a sheep to stop their wives becoming pregnant.

Of course, in the 1350's, the English improved on the idea. They took the lower intestine out of the sheep before they used it.

Oldest known British Joke from 10th century AD.

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key

Where does a 19th century Russian imperialist get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

Islam IS a RACE

to the 7th century.

There's a special running course around the White House.

Every president does this before they leave office, and records their times in a special book dating back to the early 19th century. Obama recently completed it, knowing he had to get it done before January. He did 9:25 and was quite pleased with it. He wondered if he had set the record, but then he found out that Bush did 9:11.

What's the difference between a 19th century slave and a 21st century unpaid intern?

No, seriously, I want to know.

The Arabs invented a time machine.

It's called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century.


My girlfriend made me watch a movie with her about how women struggled during their menstrual cycles in the 18th century.

It was a period piece

In the 18th century it was common practice to ignore negative numbers

People stopped at nothing to avoid them

In the 15th century the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In the 18th century the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ...

... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century.

I was visiting my daughter last night and asked if I could borrow the newspaper...

"This is the 21st Century". She said

"We don't waste money on newspapers, here use this iPad."

All I can tell you is this.

That fly never knew what hit him.

People call me the most disoriented U-boat captain of the 20th century...

Oops wrong sub.

Which is the shortest century?

The twenty-second century.

Turning water into wine is so first century.

If Jesus wants my attention now, he'd do better turning my liberal arts degree into something useful.

Sunny day with my gf.

I ask honey if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," she said. We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad."

She is right, I kill the son of b* in one shot.

I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

The concept of drilling for oil was ridiculous in the mid 19th century.

Now we just see it as groundbreaking.

Why do 19th century western women insist on staying in the kitchen?

It's easier to control the arsenic.

A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...

...and as you can see, they were Wright

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole it has often poked before?

**A key**.

--
*Not OC. Rumored to be first joke recorded in 10th century A.D.*

A wealthy gentleman began to chat with a poor woman on the streets of 17th century London

He asked how many children she had.

Six, she answered.

Here is a sixpence for them, he responded, handing her a coin.

No, sir, she said proudly, I will not sell my children.

The most difficult, complex, confusing, controversial, enraging, emotional, and thought provoking question of the 21st century....

Are you male or female?

I asked my dad to borrow a newspaper. "We don't waste paper in the 21st century, here use my iPad" he said

I can tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him...

What was the most popular form of piracy in the 17th century?

Pier-to-pier

I've decided to join Anytime Fitness

Because I like to dress up as a 12th century Viking Warrior when I work out.

A young man is picking the petals of the flower...

19th century:
"She loves me, she loves me not..."
20th century:
"She'll sleep with me, she won't..."
21st century:
"I'm a man, I'm a woman..."

What do you call a 15th century Renaissance painter who is also a crab?

Leonardo da Pinci

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

Answer: A key.

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key!

This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry.

18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work

A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.

Did you hear about the plant in Baton Rouge Louisiana thats been producing spanish food since the 11th century?

It's a bayou tapas-tree.

A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle's house.

A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle's house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century! The boy sagged in relief: Oh, good that it wasn't new.

Why didn't 18th century composer George Frideric Handel go shopping while he lived in London?

Because he was Baroque.

What would you call a famous president in the 17th century?

Baroque Obama.

17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender asks how are you going to pay for that?
Peter Paul Rubens says put it on my tab. I'm baroque.

Decade: 10 years

Century: 100 years

Millennium: 1000 years

Together forever: 8 months!!!!!!

I was going to tell a joke about 18th century philosophers...

But I just Kant.

One for the classical music fans [OC]

For those who aren't, Herbert von Karajan was an acclaimed symphony conductor in the 20th century. You need to know that his name is pronounced approximately "KAHRY-on."

Not many people know it, but the maestro actually had a second career outside of music, he was a successful luggage designer.

I mean, surely you've heard of...Karajan Luggage?

In honor of Father's day, a dad joke

There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.

He'll be Bach

What's the difference between pirates in the 17th century and pirates in the 21st century?

The pirates back then got booty

My pet fox died...

It's no wonder, 'cause he was a 20th Century Fox.

I asked my son if I could have the phone book. He laughed, shook his head: "You're so last century!", and handed me his mobile.

Long story short: the spider is now dead, son's phone is smashed and son is distraught.

I used to think that Boris Johnson getting corona must be the irony of the century.

However, it just got trumped.

What did the 18th century European say when he checked his bank account?

"Oh no! I'm baroque!"

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he was going to attend the 18th century composer costume party.

He said, Yes, I'll be Bach .

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the century era jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working century occident piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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