Cent Jokes
168 cent jokes and hilarious cent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the power of a 5 cent, 2 cent, 25 cent, and 30 cent joke! Read about the funniest jokes in recent years and find out why counterfeit money is key in the punchlines. Get ready to laugh!
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- Short Cent Jokes
- Cent One Liners
- 50 Cent Jokes
- 25 Cent Jokes
- 5 Cent Jokes
- 2 Cent Jokes
- More Cent Jokes
Funniest Cent Short Jokes
Short cent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cent humour may include short corner jokes also.
- A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
- I believe that it is time for all the world's countries to come together and create one universal currency I mean it's just common cents
- My girlfriend was telling me all about the gender wage gap... It was really informative. I thanked her for her 1.56 cents.
- Russian Ruble is now worth less than 1 U.S. Cent after SWIFT Bank Sanctions I think it's time we start calling the Ruble for what really is: Rubble
- There are 4 quarters in the Superbowl And that's why they brought out 50 Cent at halftime.
- What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas? Gee, you knit?
- For every Dollar a man makes a woman makes 70 cents. That's really unfair. That only leaves the man with 30c.
- Once I had a machine that made counterfeit pennies. I regret it now, but it made a lot of cents at the time.
- If I had a penny for every time a girl asked me out.. I'd have 5 cents.
She said if I came back inside her house a sixth time she would call the cops. - Did you hear there is a coin shortage in America? We're running out of common cents
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Cent One Liners
Which cent one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cent? I can suggest the ones about pent and median.
- What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
- If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I'd have $ 6.30 now
- What does 50 Cent call himself in Russia? 50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 rubles
- What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback
Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion - Why did 50 cent play at half time? Because it's after 2 quarters.
- I really love 50 Cent... ...Or as we call him here in Zimbabwe, '200 million dollars'.
- My favorite rapper is 50 cent Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.
- I asked 50 Cent for some advice Now he is 48 Cent
- What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of sock? Gee, you knit?
- What's one nickel minus one nickel? Wait never mind that makes no cents.
- If I had 50 cents for every time I got a math problem wrong... Id have $1.74
- Which president is least guilty? Abraham Lincoln. He is in a cent
- Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl? Inflation is real
- If I had a nickel for every gender... I would have 10 cents and a lot of counterfeits.
- If I had a nickel for every time some didn't understand me I'd make more cents.
50 Cent Jokes
Here is a list of funny 50 cent jokes and even better 50 cent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If I had 50 cents for every math exam I failed in college... I would be up to about $6.30 now.
- What concert can you go to for 45 cents? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback
- What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 cent with Nickleback
- What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day? G u knit?
- So I ordered the 50 cent at the bar last night... The bartender gave me 9 shots and took all my money
- What concert can you see for 45 cents? 50 cent, featuring Nickleback.
- My daughter asked if she could go to a 50 Cent concert... I gave her a dollar, and told her to take her brother, too.
- Who's your favorite artist? UN: "Who's your favorite artist?"
Israel: "Netta!"
UK: "Dua Lipa!"
Zimbabwe: "Fifty trillion Zimbabwean Dollars!"
UN: "What?"
Zimbabwe: "I'm sorry! 50 Cent, for you!" - I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert He said yeah sure, here's a dollar. Take your sister too.
- 50 Cent Or as he's known in Zimbabwe, 400,000,000 dollars.
25 Cent Jokes
Here is a list of funny 25 cent jokes and even better 25 cent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents. Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.
- If I had 25 cents for every time I failed my math test I'd have $5.13
- I just won 10 million dollars from a lottery ticket. I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Those were the proudest 25 cents I ever donated.
- As the United States reopens, the federal government has issued a rapid coronavirus test that's just 25 cents. Heads is positive. Tails is negative.
- I won 300 million dollars in the lottery and decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. They sent me a letter saying "thank you for your 25 cent donation".
- If I had 25 cents I could've been your father But there was a guy in front of me who had pocket change.
- Why couldn't Robert Plant play the 25 cent slot machine? No quarter
- Yo mama is like a laundromat... 25 cents per load.
- Buy a prepaid gift card from Starbucks or another store for $25. Then use it for yourself till it only has 25 cents left on it. Present it as a gift to your fool.
- 50 Cent's new album is on sale For 25 cents
5 Cent Jokes
Here is a list of funny 5 cent jokes and even better 5 cent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If i had a pound for every 'Brexit' joke on here... I'd still only have about 5 cents.
- A joke I made for my fellow Nick's out there : Don't ask me for 5 cents anytime soon...
because I'm Nicholas. - Santa paid 5 cents to go to a concert... ...now all he wants for Christmas is his Nickel-Back
- How is your mom like a Coke bottle? Both say "Hi, me 5 cents".
- I bought c**... music for 5 cents today, but the guy ripped me off. As he ran off, I yelled "Hey, I want my nickel back!"
2 Cent Jokes
Here is a list of funny 2 cent jokes and even better 2 cent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A tempting offer I was tempted by an offer which read, Sausage Biscuits 2 for $1.00".
"How much is it for one? I asked.
"75 cents , she replied.
"Ok, I'll have the other one". - If an opinion is worth 2 cents, how many cents is an argument worth? It really just depends on how much cents it makes.
- I once heard that if you listen to Nickelback with only one headphone in, you get 2½ cents back. But in point of fact, if you listen to Nickelback you don't have any sense.
- I just bought tickets to see Eminem, Fifty Cent and 2Pac in concert Only kidding. 2Pac is dead.
But I did just buy 2 packets of m&m's for 50 cents - I think the UK should've stayed in the EU. But that's just my 2 cents (£12.73)
- You have 2 coins that make 30 cents, one is not a nickle... One is a Quarter and the other is a nickle.
I'll see myself out... - I always carry 2 nickels and 2 pennies So that way I'll never be so poor that I don't have 2 nickels to rub together, and I gain always put my 2 cents in on a situation.
- Poor people can't have an opinion They don't have 2 cents
- What do you get when you mix 50 Cent and 2 Chainz? A wierd cheap necklace
- 2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cent? Man that's Ludacris
Laughter Cent Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about cent you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cent pranks.
What concert can you get in with just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Fiddy Cent just had a kid.
They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.
Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book.
Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
What concert is worth 45 cents?
50 cent with nickelback
Sam walks into his boss's office.
Sir, I'll be straight with you, I know the economy isn't great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5 per cent raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.
By the way , asks the boss as Sam is getting up, which three companies are after you?
The electric company, water company, and phone company , Sam replied.
What did 50 cent say to his grandma after she crocheted him a sweater?
G! You knit!
Have you guys heard the secret about butter?
I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
BONUS:
What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback
*BUHDUMCHHH*
I hear there's a huge 50 Cent fanbase in Zimbabwe...
Or as they call him there, 400 Million Dollars.
The police break into Abraham Lincolns house...
When they find him, he says "Don't arrest me, I'm in a cent!"
What concert can you see for 45 cents?
50 Cent ft. Nickelback.
Why do Central Americans hop the U.S. Border in groups of 4 or more?
Because the sign says no tres-passing.
Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?
Because he was always in a cent.
Did you know Zimbabwe loves the rapper 50 Cent?
Or as he's known there, 400 billion dollars.
50 cent declares bankrupcy...
he hasnt got a dollar to his name
50 cent
is only a quarter of what he used to be.
What's 16 centimetres long and makes every girl happy?
A €500 bill.
I'm a big fan of 50 cent
Or as he's known in Zimbabwe, 10 billion dollars
I asked my local store why they don't round the 99 cent price tags to a dollar
They said that there's no cents in the change
There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.
But how did they get this name?..
Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...
Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...
''Where the Fakawi?''
I'm a little sick and tired of people always saying that at one time or another, every single American president is guilty of something...
I mean, what about Lincoln?! After all, he's in a cent...
What's at the centre of No Man's sky universe?
A refund.
credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)
What's 50 Cents name in Zimbabwe?
400 Million Dollars
What does Dr. Dre say to 50 cent when he gives him a sweater?
Gee, you knit?
I think 50 Cent should run for President in 2020
He's change we can believe in
What is the center of a gay apple's life?
Décor.
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny
Judge: What?
Lawyer: He's in a cent
Judge: You're going to jail with him
^^^^Totally ^^^^my ^^^^own ^^^^work ^^^^and ^^^^not ^^^^a ^^^^repost ^^^^by ^^^^any ^^^^mean
How much in royalties did 50 Cent get paid by Republicans?
It's obviously a cover of Get Rich or Die Tryin'
If 50 cent were a woman.. would her name be 35 cent?
Credit : twitter @the_anastasia
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...
...and as you can see, they were Wright
What did the rapper, The Game, say when 50 cent gifted him a sweater?
Gee, you knit?
Attorney: My client is trapped in a penny
Judge: What?
Attorney: He's in a cent.
I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars...
... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.
What did 50 Cent say when Lloyd Banks gave him a new sweater?
Gee, you knit?
Do you know which president has the cleanest record
Lincoln, he was in a cent
What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was falesly accused of a crime?
"I'm in a cent"
I always leave a penny on the toilet lid after I take a dump
Just so that a cent is covering the odor
What do they call 50 Cent in Zimbabwe?
The 400 million dollar man.
What concert only costs 45cents ?
50 cent, featuring nickel back
Everyone is self centred.
But it's the radius that counts.
What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she gave him a homemade scarf?
"Gee, You Knit?"
What do you call a female rapper?
35 Cent
My Client Is Not Guilty.
Lawyer: My Client Is Trapped In A Penny
Judge: What Do You Mean?
Lawyer: He's In A Cent.
If I get 15 cents for every time I failed a math test
I would have $8.12
Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
- 50 cent.
50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.
At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".
If I got 50 cents for every math test I've failed
I'd have about $12.30 by now
What was 50 Cents called after he gave his opinion of Eminem?
48 Cents.
First Date
A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne...the works. Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."
What do they call 50 Cent in Zimbabwe?
6 trillion
5 penny joke
Place the first penny on the table..."Can you smell that....that's a scent."
Place the second penny...."Can you see any fruit....that's a pair"
Place the third penny...."Can you see any cars? Three Lincolns."
Place the fourth down..."Can you see any snakes? Four copperheads.
Place the fifth down..."Can you see any p**...?"
Scoop them all up..."Not for five cents you can't."
A guy prays really hard, and appears in front of God.
God: What do you want ? Ask me anything.
Guy: God how much 1 million years mean to you ?
God: A second.
Guy: God how much 1 million dollars means to you ?
God: A cent.
Guy: I'm not asking much, just give me a cent !
God: why not ? It's at bottom of my pocket, just a sec.
What kind of concert costs 45 cents?
A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback
What did 50 cent do when he was hungry?
58
So 50 cent was angry with his german girlfriend
He was about to hit her and she screamed 59!!!!!!!!!
A man found God one day
He asked: "God, what is one millions years to you?"
God said : "It's like one second to me"
The man said: "What about one millions dollars?"
God said: "it's like one cent to me"
After a while the man asked: "God, can you give me one cent?:
God said: "Of course, just give me a second"
What concert is $0.45?
50 Cent and Nickleback
What's Kanye West's brilliant economic plan as president?
To put 50 cent into the Treasury
If I had 50 cents from every time I failed a maths test
I'd have $8.32
Are you the Center Of Disease Control?
Cuz theres nothing flat about your curves.
(seriously we have a real problem this virus is getting worse)
A Man meets God and asks
Man: God, how much is a 100 years for you?
God: Its nothing more than a second son
Man: How much is a million dollars for you?
God: Nothing more than a cent son
Man: Could you please give me a cent?
God: Just a sec !!
Do you know what 50 cents did when he got hungry?
58
An American and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar
The American says to the Zimbabwean, You know, we have a few good rappers in America. My favourite would have to be Eminem, have you got a favourite?
The Zimbabwean thinks for about 5 seconds and says, Well yes, of course. My favourite would have to be 50 cent, or as we call him, 400 billion dollars.
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent? ' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel" the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
Did you hear the one about the man who was unjustly trapped inside of a penny?
He yelled, "Let me outta here. I'm in a cent!"
Centuries later, key US government buildings still accurately represent the people inside them
They're mostly old and white.
