The Best 83 Cent Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cent jokes. There are some cent nickle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cent eminem puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cent Jokes and Puns

What concert can you get in with just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

Fiddy Cent just had a kid.

They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.

The US post office announced today that they'll be releasing a new stamp commemorating prostitution.

It's a ten cent stamp, but if you wanna lick it, it's a quarter.

Cent joke, The US post office announced today that they'll be releasing a new stamp commemorating prostitution.

What concert is worth 45 cents?

50 cent with Nickelback

Sam walks into his boss's office.

Sir, I'll be straight with you, I know the economy isn't great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.

After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5 per cent raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.

By the way , asks the boss as Sam is getting up, which three companies are after you?

The electric company, water company, and phone company , Sam replied.


What concert can you see for 45 cents?

50 cent, featuring Nickleback.

50 Cent

Or as he's known in Zimbabwe, 400,000,000 dollars.

Cent joke, 50 Cent

Have you guys heard the secret about butter?

I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...

BONUS:

What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback

*BUHDUMCHHH*

I hear there's a huge 50 Cent fanbase in Zimbabwe...

Or as they call him there, 400 Million Dollars.

The police break into Abraham Lincolns house...

When they find him, he says "Don't arrest me, I'm in a cent!"

What concert can you see for 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback.

You can explore cent dollar reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cent nickleback dad jokes. There are also cent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do Central Americans hop the U.S. Border in groups of 4 or more?

Because the sign says no tres-passing.

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?

Gee, you knit?

What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas?

Gee, you knit?

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

Because he was always in a cent.

50 cent declares bankrupcy...

he hasnt got a dollar to his name

Cent joke, 50 cent declares bankrupcy...

50 cent

is only a quarter of what he used to be.

What's 16 centimetres long and makes every girl happy?

A €500 bill.

I'm a big fan of 50 cent

Or as he's known in Zimbabwe, 10 billion dollars


So I ordered the 50 cent at the bar last night...

The bartender gave me 9 shots and took all my money

What concert can you go to for 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

I asked my local store why they don't round the 99 cent price tags to a dollar

They said that there's no cents in the change

If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam,

I'd have $ 6.30 now

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback

Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion

There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.

But how did they get this name?..

Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...

Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...

''Where the Fakawi?''

What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund.

credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

What's 50 Cents name in Zimbabwe?

400 Million Dollars

If I had 50 cents for every time I got a math problem wrong...

Id have $1.74

If I had 25 cents for every time I failed my math test

I'd have $5.13

I think 50 Cent should run for President in 2020

He's change we can believe in

What is the center of a gay apple's life?

DΓ©cor.

Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny

Judge: What?

Lawyer: He's in a cent

Judge: You're going to jail with him

^^^^Totally ^^^^my ^^^^own ^^^^work ^^^^and ^^^^not ^^^^a ^^^^repost ^^^^by ^^^^any ^^^^mean

If 50 cent were a woman.. would her name be 35 cent?

Credit : twitter @the_anastasia

A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...

...and as you can see, they were Wright

I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert

He said yeah sure, here's a dollar. Take your sister too.

I really love 50 Cent...

...Or as we call him here in Zimbabwe, '200 million dollars'.

What did the rapper, The Game, say when 50 cent gifted him a sweater?

Gee, you knit?

Attorney: My client is trapped in a penny

Judge: What?

Attorney: He's in a cent.

What did 50 Cent say when Lloyd Banks gave him a new sweater?

Gee, you knit?

Do you know which president has the cleanest record

Lincoln, he was in a cent

What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was falesly accused of a crime?

"I'm in a cent"

I always leave a penny on the toilet lid after I take a dump

Just so that a cent is covering the odor

Everyone is self centred.

But it's the radius that counts.

If I had 50 cents for every math exam I failed in college...

I would be up to about $6.30 now.

What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she gave him a homemade scarf?

"Gee, You Knit?"

My Client Is Not Guilty.

Lawyer: My Client Is Trapped In A Penny

Judge: What Do You Mean?

Lawyer: He's In A Cent.

If I get 15 cents for every time I failed a math test

I would have $8.12

Which president is least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln. He is in a cent

If I got 50 cents for every math test I've failed

I'd have about $12.30 by now

What was 50 Cents called after he gave his opinion of Eminem?

48 Cents.

What do they call 50 Cent in Zimbabwe?

6 trillion

5 penny joke

Place the first penny on the table..."Can you smell that....that's a scent."
Place the second penny...."Can you see any fruit....that's a pair"
Place the third penny...."Can you see any cars? Three Lincolns."
Place the fourth down..."Can you see any snakes? Four copperheads.
Place the fifth down..."Can you see any pussy?"
Scoop them all up..."Not for five cents you can't."

A guy prays really hard, and appears in front of God.

God: What do you want ? Ask me anything.

Guy: God how much 1 million years mean to you ?

God: A second.

Guy: God how much 1 million dollars means to you ?

God: A cent.

Guy: I'm not asking much, just give me a cent !

God: why not ? It's at bottom of my pocket, just a sec.

What kind of concert costs 45 cents?

A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback

What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

If I had 50 cents from every time I failed a maths test

I'd have $8.32

A Man meets God and asks

Man: God, how much is a 100 years for you?

God: Its nothing more than a second son

Man: How much is a million dollars for you?

God: Nothing more than a cent son

Man: Could you please give me a cent?

God: Just a sec !!

Do you know what 50 cents did when he got hungry?

58

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent? ' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel" the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

Centuries later, key US government buildings still accurately represent the people inside them

They're mostly old and white.

What do they call the rapper "50 Cent" in Venezuela?

$1,554,270.59

What's a noodle that only costs one cent?

Penne

A man asked God: "what's a million years to you?"

God replied: "to me it's only a minute"

"And what's a million dollars?"

"To me, it's only a cent"

"So... can I have one of your cents?"

"Sure, just give me a minute."

What happens when 50 Cent eats his food?

58.

Fifty ate.


Okay I'll just see myself out.. sorry.

A Centaur walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him "So, why the long face?"

I'm half horse...the wrong half.

Apparently there's a concert that only costs 45 cents

50 Cent featuring Nickelback

Nickel & Dime Dining

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied:
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl?

Inflation is real

I asked 50 Cent for some advice

Now he is 48 Cent

If I had 50 cents for every time I'd read a 50 cent joke today...

I'd have about tree fiddy.

What concert is only 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback

I wasn't surprised to see 50 Cent in the Superbowl Halftime show.

After all, two quarters equals 50 Cent.

There are 4 quarters in the Superbowl

And that's why they brought out 50 Cent at halftime.

Why did 50 cent play at half time?

Because it's after 2 quarters.

What does 50 Cent call himself in Russia?

50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 rubles

Russian Ruble is now worth less than 1 U.S. Cent after SWIFT Bank Sanctions

I think it's time we start calling the Ruble for what really is: Rubble

What's a Russian's favourite rapper?

50 Cent

Or as they say in Russia, 10 million rubles

Putin once said: I really like 50 cent

Or as we call him in Russia, 4 million ruble .

I asked 50 Cent for advice…

He is now called 48 Cent.

A lot of people were surprised to see 50 Cent at the Super Bowl halftime show, but not me.

Who else would you expect after two quarters?

It made perfect cents to me.

What concert costs $0.45?

Fifty Cent featuring Nickleback.

My daughter asked if she could go to a 50 Cent concert...

I gave her a dollar, and told her to take her brother, too.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cent dime jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cent pence piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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