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Cement Jokes

70 cement jokes and hilarious cement puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cement that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a laugh? Check out this collection of cement jokes that range from cement finishers and concrete eaters to gravel and plaster. Whether you are a cement truck or mixer, you'll find something to bring a smile in this selection of jokes.

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Funniest Cement Short Jokes

Short cement jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cement humour may include short concrete jokes also.

  1. Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway, Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals
  2. I have a story for you. A guy pours cement all over a plot of land... and then the plot thickens.
  3. A prison van crashed into a cement mixer this morning... Police are currently on the lookout for half a dozen hardened criminals.
  4. What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement? A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.
  5. I was trying to expose the cement company for using cheap materials But I couldn't find any concrete evidence
  6. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
  7. A Car full of bank robbers has crashed into a cement truck yesterday while evading police … The police are now searching for hardened criminals.
  8. What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? Dam.
    What did the dam say to the fish?
    Dumb bass.
  9. A cement truck smashed into a prison van... Police are telling people to be on the lookout for 8 hardened criminals.
  10. Archaeologists say that Roman cement was stronger than it is in modern times... I need to see some concrete evidence

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Cement One Liners

Which cement one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cement? I can suggest the ones about glue and clay.

  1. What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? Dam.
  2. I'm dating an Italian bricklayer. It's cement to be.
  3. I'd be very scared if I swallowed a cup of cement I'd be shittin' brick
  4. What do you get when you put a duck in a cement mixer? Quacks in the pavement
  5. Someone fell into wet cement Currently there is no concrete evidence of who fell
  6. A cement mixer collided with a prison van Be sure to look out for 10 hardened criminals.
  7. What do you get when you pour cement on a burglar? a hardened criminal.
  8. What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement? Not enough cement
  9. Why shouldnt u push donald trump into a bag of cement? That would set a bad precedent
  10. A prison van and a cement truck collided Several hardened criminals escaped
  11. A thief tripped and fell into wet cement... He became a hardened criminal.
  12. I ate a lot. It tasted like cement.
  13. What did the sidewalk say when it fell in love? It was cement to be.
  14. What did the cement say to the sign? I'll keep you posted
  15. I used to date a Bricklayers daughter.. Cement the world to me.

Cement Mixer Jokes

Here is a list of funny cement mixer jokes and even better cement mixer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Cement Mixer A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass.
    Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
  • I was stuck driving behind a cement mixer for 1/2 an hour It had a "Do not overtake turning vehicle" sign.
  • This just in: A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway. The police warn that these are really heavy criminals.
  • A prison bus crashed into a cement mixer You should be on the lookout for hardened criminals.
  • The manager of my power drill company was doing so well I promoted him to head of the cement mixer division. One good turn deserves another.
  • *Police Alert* Two men wanted for stealing a cement mixer. Caution is advised. They are hardened criminals.
  • This just in: a cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway. The prisoners tried to escape across the river, but they were wearing cement overshoes.
  • This just in: a cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway. The police had to let all the prisoners go, because they were statues of limitations.
  • What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A brick layer.
  • What do you call a midget in a cement mixer A wee hard man

Concrete Cement Jokes

Here is a list of funny concrete cement jokes and even better concrete cement puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend uses concrete and asphalt interchangeably He says it's just a matter of cementics
  • As seen on a masonry truck Cement shop robbed, police investigators find no concrete evidence
  • Did you hear about the truck that spilt concrete across the road? It wasn't cement to happen.
  • How do you call a cement foundation? A concrete base.
  • What do you call 12 lawyers buried up to their chins in cement? Not enough concrete.
Cement joke, What do you call 12 lawyers buried up to their chins in cement?

Cement Truck Jokes

Here is a list of funny cement truck jokes and even better cement truck puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the cement truck that crashed in a cemetery and spilled into an open grave? ... The plot thickens ...
Cement joke, Did you hear about the cement truck that crashed in a cemetery and spilled into an open grave?

Cheerful Cement Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about cement you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flour jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cement pranks.

What do you call an apple filled with cement?

h**....

How do you make a song better using cement?

By remixing it.

As a man of Jewish descent

As a man of Jewish descent I don't like jokes about us Jews.
I think they often cement prejudices and misinterpretations of the Jewish people and culture.
But every now and then even I enjoy a good laugh and feel that I shouldn't be so serious about everything.
So I have a very good joke about the holocaust here if anyone wants to buy it?

You hear about the p**... wagon that collided with cement mixer Ed?

12 hardened criminals escaped.

Three men are building a house.

The first walks out of the car saying I got paint! . The second walks out and says i got cement! . The third one walks out n**... and says I got wood!

What did the fish say after swimming into a cement wall?

d**....

I put cement in my friends food

He s**... a brick when he found out

Cement joke, I put cement in my friends food

jokes about cement