The Best 52 Cement Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cement jokes. There are some cement sand jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cement soil puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cement Jokes and Puns

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall?

Dam.

What did the dam say to the fish?
Dumb bass.

What do you call an apple filled with cement?

Hardcore.

Cement joke, What do you call an apple filled with cement?

What does a mobster buried in cement eventually become?

A hardened criminal.

I ate a lot.

It tasted like cement.


Which is heavier; 50kg of feather or 50kg of cement?

It's a question of parameters and thinking outside the box. Before you answer, look at the question carefully.

As seen on a masonry truck

Cement shop robbed, police investigators find no concrete evidence

Cement joke, As seen on a masonry truck

What's grey, has four legs, howls at the moon, and eats cement?

A wolf. I threw in the cement to make it hard.

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer.

The manager of my power drill company was doing so well I promoted him to head of the cement mixer division.

One good turn deserves another.

How do you make a song better using cement?

By remixing it.

You can explore cement plaster reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cement grout dad jokes. There are also cement puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Got the job of putting cement into size 14 boots, last person could do 100 in an hour.

I've got some big shoes to fill.

A thief tripped and fell into wet cement...

He became a hardened criminal.

As a man of Jewish descent

As a man of Jewish descent I don't like jokes about us Jews.
I think they often cement prejudices and misinterpretations of the Jewish people and culture.
But every now and then even I enjoy a good laugh and feel that I shouldn't be so serious about everything.

So I have a very good joke about the holocaust here if anyone wants to buy it?

How do you call a cement foundation?

A concrete base.

What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Dam.

Cement joke, What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Did you hear about the truck that spilt concrete across the road?

It wasn't cement to happen.

I used to date a Bricklayers daughter..

Cement the world to me.

North Korea VS Malaysia

In Malaysia cement will kill you


I'd be very scared if I swallowed a cup of cement

I'd be shittin' bricks

I'm dating an Italian bricklayer.

It's cement to be.

Did you hear about the cement truck that crashed in a cemetery and spilled into an open grave?

... The plot thickens ...

A prison bus crashed into a cement mixer

You should be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

I have a story for you. A guy pours cement all over a plot of land...

and then the plot thickens.

A prison van and a cement truck collided

Several hardened criminals escaped

Who called it cement shop and not

Displacement.

A prison van crashed into a cement mixer this morning...

Police are currently on the lookout for half a dozen hardened criminals.

Archaeologists say that Roman cement was stronger than it is in modern times...

I need to see some concrete evidence

A fish runs into a cement wall and says dam.

I was trying to expose the cement company for using cheap materials

But I couldn't find any concrete evidence

Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway,

Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals

This just in: a cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway.

The police had to let all the prisoners go, because they were statues of limitations.

This just in: a cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway.

The prisoners tried to escape across the river, but they were wearing cement overshoes.

This just in: A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway.

The police warn that these are really heavy criminals.

How do you save a drowning antivax mom?

Take off her cement shoes.

What do you have when your Mother in Law is up to her neck in cement?

Not enough cement

*Police Alert* Two men wanted for stealing a cement mixer.

Caution is advised. They are hardened criminals.

You hear about the paddy wagon that collided with cement mixer Ed?

12 hardened criminals escaped.

A cement truck smashed into a prison van...

Police are telling people to be on the lookout for 8 hardened criminals.

What did the cement say to the sign?

I'll keep you posted

Three men are building a house.

The first walks out of the car saying I got paint! . The second walks out and says i got cement! . The third one walks out naked and says I got wood!

A cement mixer collided with a prison van

Be sure to look out for 10 hardened criminals.

Why shouldnt u push donald trump into a bag of cement?

That would set a bad precedent

What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement?

A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van.

Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

What did the sidewalk say when it fell in love?

It was cement to be.

Cement Mixer

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass.


Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

I was stuck driving behind a cement mixer for 1/2 an hour

It had a "Do not overtake turning vehicle" sign.

A Car full of bank robbers has crashed into a cement truck yesterday while evading police …

The police are now searching for hardened criminals.

What did the fish say after swimming into a cement wall?

Damn.

What do you get when you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement

What do you get when you pour cement on a burglar?

a hardened criminal.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cement asphalt jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cement displacement piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes