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Celsius Jokes

37 celsius jokes and hilarious celsius puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about celsius that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Celsius Short Jokes

Short celsius jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The celsius humour may include short kelvin jokes also.

  1. Kelvin and Celsius had a job interview but only one of them got the job. It was Celsius because he had a degree.
  2. If the average world temperature rises 2 degrees Celsius, mankind is doomed. That is why America measures temperature in Fahrenheit.
  3. So do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? "So do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit?"
    "I use Melvin."
    "You mean Kelvin?"
    "Nah mate. Melvin. YO MELVIN! IS IT COLD OUTSIDE!?"
  4. Anders Celsius died when he was 43 years old although his rival Farenheit was convinced he was 109
  5. -40° outside sounds brutally cold, Fahrenheit or Celsius. My friend Kelvin just rolled his eyes.
  6. So I just realized I left my pop in the car… And it's -20 Celsius out. I guess it's a *pop*-sicle now.
  7. How can you tell that an ice cube didn't graduate from college in the US? Because it has 0 degrees.
    Also because it uses the Celsius scale.
  8. I don't like Fahrenheit. I don't like Celsius. I don't like Kelvin. I prefer to measure my degrees in Radians.
  9. Getting old is like the Celsius scale Anything in the 20's is great.
    30-35 starts to get uncomfortable.
    35-40 most people can't handle it
    and 40+ you might as well be dead.
  10. What did the man with mercury poisoning say? It's 83 degrees Fahrenheit and 28 degrees Celsius.

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Celsius One Liners

Which celsius one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with celsius? I can suggest the ones about radius and lukewarm.

  1. You Know What Really Makes My Blood Boil? Temperatures Of Over 100 Degrees Celsius.
  2. If you cool your body down to -273,16 degrees celsius.. ..you'd be 0K
  3. What's a chemist's favorite fast food restaurant? K(elvin) F(ahrenheit) C(elsius)!
  4. 180 degree Celsius = pi radian Celsius
  5. I'm so ill, my body temperature is 39° celsius One more celsius and I'm votka!
  6. Celsius be like On a scale of 0-100, how hot is this water?
  7. What did the physicist say when he found out the temperature was -273 degrees Celsius? 0K
  8. I froze myself to -210 degrees Celsius It was beyond cool
  9. What do you call an extremist group of water at 0 Degrees Celsius? ISIS
  10. If the USA went from Fahrenheit to Celsius There would be a heated debate
  11. My friend tells me he graduated from Europe with a Celsius in Engineering.
  12. You know what makes my blood boil? Temperatures above 100 degrees celsius.

Degrees Celsius Jokes

Here is a list of funny degrees celsius jokes and even better degrees celsius puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Kelvin say to his son Celsius after he broke his 273 college degrees? You have hit Absolute Zero, son...
  • Why don't they make condoms out of steel? Because steel doesn't become cementite until it reaches 750 degrees Celsius.
  • The sun would be a great meteorologist... He has millions of Celsius and Fahrenheit degrees.
Celsius joke, The sun would be a great meteorologist...

Hilarious Fun Celsius Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about celsius you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean climate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make celsius pranks.

Two scientists were walking around in Russia during winter

Scientist one: It's really cold outside, how many degrees?
Scientist two: it's -40°
Scientist one: Celsius or Fahrenheit?
Scientist two: Yes.

A huge crab walks into a bar...

...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"

The wife of Korean immigrant was bed ridden with a high fever.

She hadn't had consciousness for a while and she was a burning 40 degrees Celsius. Worried, the husband tries to call for an ambulance, using his broken English.
"911 emergency, how can we help you."
"Wife in bed. She so hot."
"Okay... good for you."

My dad said It was Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit and Anders Celsius to create the terms used for thermometer scales

I replied: Don't you think it's egocentric to name everything after yourself?
He said: well, to be fair they both worked hard for their degrees!

Surgeon's joke.

There used to be a rule that in order to get into anesthesia, applicants had to have an IQ greater than their body temp. For a while they couldn't get any new anesthesia trainees because nobody would pass.
Then they decided to switch from farenheit to celsius, and now there's a lot of them.

Celsius joke, What did Kelvin say to his son Celsius after he broke his 273 college degrees?