Cells Jokes

What are some Cells jokes?

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab, the results...

... speak for themselves

I failed my biology test today.

Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."

[Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant.

TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".

I guess you can call it a typo.

I failed a biology test today, they had asked me what was commonly found in cells

Apparently black people was not the answer.

I asked my friend about his time in prison.

"I have mixed feelings. On one hand I was surrounded by the worst society had to offer. I shared cells with thieves, murderers, and rapists. On the other hand the prison library was filled with the best collection of literature that I've ever seen. I don't know. It has its prose and cons."

In biology class my teacher asked "What is most commonly found in cells?"

Apparently "black people" was not the right answer

I missed a question on my biology exam today.

The question was "what are commonly found in cells?" I guess "black people" wasn't the right answer.

Liberals declared leukemia to be racist

There's too many white cells.

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

I asked my biology teacher how he makes his class so interesting

He told me: Sex cells.

Two red blood cells met and fell in love

but alas, it was in vein.

So I took a biology test the other day...

One of the questions was, "name two things commonly found in cells."

Apparently, young blacks and latinos was not the right answer.

I was asked on a biology test "what is most commonly found in cells"

Black people was the wrong answer...

I failed my AP Biology test...

They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"

Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer

I took my Biology exam last Friday

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

I failed my biology test today.

The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"

Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.

A man is walking by a prison....

...when he sees a midget climbing out one of the cells at the top of the prison. The midget is climbing down a rope when he turns around and sees the man on the street. The midget flips off the men and continues to climb down the rope.

The man says to himself, "Wow, that's a little condescending."

Last week I took my grandma to the spa

For 20 bucks they have this tiny fish that eat off your dead cells. It was way cheaper than funeral

At a contest, I was asked to name one thing that is found in cells

Apparently 'Mexicans' was not the right answer

Today I Failed my Biology Test.

One of the questions asked. What are normally found inside cells?

Apparently, 'Black People' was not the correct answer.

A Pole, a German and a Russian go to prison...

A Pole, a German and a Russian are sent to prison. They each receive a 50-year sentence with no parole. The guard, when putting them in their cells, shows mercy on them and offers to give each of them a small supply of their favourite things to occupy their times. The Pole picks a collection of books by his favourite author, the German picks a case of strong beer, and the Russian picks a huge pack of cigarettes. After the 50 years pass, the guard checks on his prisoners. The Pole thanks the guard for allowing him to gain knowledge in his time, the German complains that he ran out of alcohol a week into his sentence, and the Russian asks the guard for a lighter.

Did you know that yeast cells are incestuous?

They're in-bread.

My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today...

I asked if they were very sure of them cells.

how did the gamete get rich?

because sex cells... Thank you thank you i'll be here all week.

Three Russian prisoners sit in neighboring cells in the Gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."

Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"

"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."

I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"

I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.

How many sperm cells do virgins have at any given time?

Ohh.. About a handful.

Why are gametes so popular?

Because sex cells!

Companies should use chromosomes in advertising

Because sex cells.

Why will people click on any link with sperm or eggs in the headline?

Hey, sex cells.

Why did the biology magazine put a picture of gametes on their cover?

Because sex cells.

My prison name

If I ever went to prison, my prison name would be The Mitochondria, because I'll be the powerhouse of the cells.

In biology they ask us what we find in cells

Apparently black people wasn't the right answer.

I'll see myself out.

I'm making a movie about meiosis

It's going to be rated R
Why?
Because sex cells.

I like my women how I like the borders of my Excel cells

With a thick bottom

Crappy biology bar joke

A few cells enter a bar. They sit in a corner and talk amongst themselves, drink moderately and don't pick up a fight with anyone. They leave the bar quietly.




Because they were cultured cells..

Why are prisons banned from using Comcast Xfinity?

Because then their cells would have no bars.

Homework.

A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."

A joke that has been circulating around for a while...

Two blood cells fell in love, but it was all in vein.

Don Draper and Meiosis get together for an advertisement meeting. They agree on one thing.

Sex Cells.

I'm thinking about starting up my own brand and naming it Gametes...

Because sex cells.

Why are Gametes good at marketing?

Sex cells!

How do bread cells divide?

They sbread apart through mitoastis

Kudos if you get the joke

A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician each have their respective problem-solving skills tested by a group of researchers. They are each placed in separate locked 4x4 cells with walls made of cement and given a can of food. They are told to open the cans and get the food out using no other outside materials. The researchers leave the three to their own devices, then come back after an hour.

The physicist is first to be checked on. The researchers find him mouthing out complicated formulas in his head. After a moment, he swings his can into a wall with the proper amount of force and at the correct angle to split the can open.

The engineer is next. His cell is covered in dents, and he is eating from the remnants of a banged-up and broken can when the researchers find him.

Finally, the researchers visit the mathematician's cell. They find him huddled in a corner, cradling the can in his arms, and muttering, "Assume a can opener, assume a can opener, assume a can opener..."

Why do gametes make great advertisers?

Because sex cells

So my biology teacher asked me what are in cells...

I said "black people" and somehow that wasn't right

Why are gametes best suited to advertising careers?

Because sex cells.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead escape from their cells on a prison island...

... They sneak past the guards and make it to the shoreline. The mainland is a kilometre away, through dangerous waters.


The brunette, being the bravest, leaves first. She swims as hard as she can, but after only a few hundred meters she becomes exhausted and drowns.


The redhead leaves second. She is smarter and swims more slowly, but just as she passed half way a shark eats her.


The blonde, a natural athlete, embarks on her perilous swim. Miraculously, she avoids all sharks and swims until she is only 50m from the shoreline!
Exhausted, she says, "It's too far, I can't make it!", and swims back.

Using chromosomes for advertising

Because you know,sex cells.

How do blondes' brain cells die?

Alone

I've started using gametes in my advertising campaign.

You know, sex cells.

Why did the marketer use gametes in his ads?

Because sex cells.

The Online Biology Class

I almost got expelled in an Online Biology crash course earlier. They asked me what the major constituent of cells are.

Turns out, "black people" is NOT a good answer.

What did the prostitute biology teacher say?

Sex cells.

So the police arrested this old battery...

They said they had DNA evidence placed him at a crime scene.




They tested his cells and decided they couldn't charge him.

I was told I could talk about gametes here and get gold..

But I don't really know if sex cells

Why did the company use gametes in their commerical?

Because sex cells.


Thought of this joke while doing biology homework, is it any good?

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