Cellphone Jokes
53 cellphone jokes and hilarious cellphone puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cellphone that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cellphone Short Jokes
Short cellphone jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cellphone humour may include short cell phone jokes also.
- It was announced yesterday that the 2020 summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones. Well, they're going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.
- Did you guys hear about the two cellphone towers that got married? It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*
- As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking Are you my tinder date?
- Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars
- Try your luck! Want to win a new cellphone for Christmas?
Scratch below with a nail.
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Good luck!!! - The cellphone goes off in class... Bully: "Aww, Is your Mommy calling you?"
The class emerges in snickers.
You: "Nope. Yours is."
The class becomes silent. - I tried to buy a phone at the store the other day, but wasn't able to Turns out it was a cellphone, not a buy phone
- I sat at the cafe today.
No cellphone.
No tablet.
No laptop.
I just sat there.
Drinking coffee.
Like a Psychopath. - If you drop your cellphone in water put it in a bowl of rice... It will attract an Asian who will fix it for you. (just heard from buddy of mine)
- My cellphone got wet, so I put it in rice, but I don't think it's working. The soy sauce just made things worse.
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Cellphone One Liners
Which cellphone one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cellphone? I can suggest the ones about mobile phone and smartphone.
- My roommate's cellphone broke He wants me to let you guys know he's vegan
- Did you hear about the guy who traded his car for an old cellphone? Now he's got Nokia
- How do you talk with bacteria? By cellphone.
- I get angry when my cellphone battery dies My therapist suggested that I find an outlet.
- Why I don't trust photos taken from a cellphone camera They seem...phony
- What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power? Cher-Mobile
- How do cells communicate with each other? Cellphones!
- I like my women like I like my cellphone plan... Free on nights and weekends.
- Can I borrow your cellphone? I need to call animal control cause I just saw a fox!
- How do prisoners communicate? CELL-phones
- what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels
- What is the diffrent between a girl and a cellphone... You can put a selfone on silent.
- A cellphone with 3% battery walks into a bar. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
- The cellphone company invited me to their party but there turned out to be no reception.
- How does broccoli use a cellphone? He cauliflower.
Cheeky Cellphone Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about cellphone you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean telephone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cellphone pranks.
Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone?
**Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone?
**Him**: What about the other one?
**Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet.
An elderly couple is taking a Sunday drive on I-80
when the wife gets a call on her new-fangled cell-phone. Her daughter is frantic, "Mom, there is a lunatic driving the wrong way down the road on I-80 near your house!"
The wife turns to her husband and says, "Did you hear that? Some maniac is driving down the wrong side of the road!"
The husband screams, "One lunatic?! There are hundreds of them!"
A gender studies major gets mugged
A gender studies major is walking through Central Park on her way back to campus, when a mugger jumps her. He takes her wallet and purse, but lets her keep her cellphone.
She immediately calls the police. "Was it a man or a woman?" the cop asks once he got there.
"I don't know," she says. "I didn't get to ask."
A boy loses his cellphone
A boy loses his precious cellphone and asks his dad if he had seen it anywhere. His dad asks the boy
"Why don't you call it?"
"I left it on silent"
"Well you know what they say"
"What?"
"If you like it then you should've put a ring on it"
An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work...
... when his wife rings him on his cellphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now; some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"
How are children like cellphones?
If you've lost one and haven't found it in a couple days, chances are it's probably dead.
Wife and husband are in the living room.
She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.
"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."
I went in for a job interview today...
The manager, looking for a great salesperson, picked up a laptop and said "sell me this laptop".
I proceeded to stick it under my armpit and walk out.
A few minutes later, the manager called my cellphone upset saying "bring it back!!!"
I said "i'll sell it to you for $200 bucks!"
What impresses me the most about Tour de France athletes is that they can go for five hours
without looking at their cellphones.
My girlfriend's cellphone service s**...!
Eight days ago when she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's
gone straight to voicemail ever since.
A politicians promise
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.
A politician visited a village in India..
A politician visited an Indian village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in the village.
A politician visited a small remote rural town and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the Town Mayor. "First, we have a clinic but no doctors."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, "I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cell phone reception at all in our town.
Politicians these days.
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
We have two big needs, said the village headman. First, we have a hospital but no doctor.
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?
We have no cellphone reception at all in our village.
A POLITICIAN visited a village and asked what their needs were
We have 2 basic needs, sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's not the doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.
"I'll do whatever I can for my constituents"
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the village headman. "First, we have a hospital but no doctor."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while, and then said, "I have it sorted out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cellphone reception at all in our village."
Today i donated $1000
My headphones, cellphone and my watch to a needy. You have no idea how awesome it feels to see someone put his gun back in his pocket...
Things to expect when you're expecting
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a bit, his cellphone rings and he answers it to hear his pregnant wife on the line out of breath and panting loudly. "Where are you!" she moans. "I'm down at the bar," the guy replies. "I think the baby is coming!" she gasps. "Well he won't get in," the guy says. "He's underage."
A joke my girlfriend told me
Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance
"See that over there? What is that?" Says the first crow
The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it"
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?" Replies the first crow
"Look at it's hand. No cellphone" says the second crow
