The Best 45 Cellphone Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cellphone jokes. There are some cellphone battery jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cellphone telephone puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Cellphone Jokes and Puns
I sat at the cafe today.
No cellphone.
No tablet.
No laptop.
I just sat there.
Drinking coffee.
Like a Psychopath.
what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common?
They both die in tunnels
If you drop your cellphone in water put it in a bowl of rice...
It will attract an Asian who will fix it for you. (just heard from buddy of mine)
Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone?
**Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone?
**Him**: What about the other one?
**Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet.
An elderly couple is taking a Sunday drive on I-80
when the wife gets a call on her new-fangled cell-phone. Her daughter is frantic, "Mom, there is a lunatic driving the wrong way down the road on I-80 near your house!"
The wife turns to her husband and says, "Did you hear that? Some maniac is driving down the wrong side of the road!"
The husband screams, "One lunatic?! There are hundreds of them!"
These days people treat their cellphones like its a baby...
..except I never laugh when I drop my cellphone
A man visits the doctor to get treatment for his asthma.
The doctor recommends that having better ventilation within the man's house could potentially cure his condition, and tells him to sleep with his windows open.
A few days later, he visits the doctor again.
"Ah, I see you're back. How's your asthma? Is it gone?"
The man shakes his head and replies:
"No, but my TV, cellphone, and my laptop are."
Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?
He heard the reception was going to be terrible...
A random woman asked for my cellphone.
She stole my wallet too.
A gender studies major gets mugged
A gender studies major is walking through Central Park on her way back to campus, when a mugger jumps her. He takes her wallet and purse, but lets her keep her cellphone.
She immediately calls the police. "Was it a man or a woman?" the cop asks once he got there.
"I don't know," she says. "I didn't get to ask."
So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now.
Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved
You can explore cellphone daffy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cellphone cell dad jokes. There are also cellphone puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A boy loses his cellphone
A boy loses his precious cellphone and asks his dad if he had seen it anywhere. His dad asks the boy
"Why don't you call it?"
"I left it on silent"
"Well you know what they say"
"What?"
"If you like it then you should've put a ring on it"
I like my women like I like my cellphone plan...
Free on nights and weekends.
Cellphone Anger Management
Some people get angry when their cell phone runs out of power: they just need to find an outlet.
An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work...
... when his wife rings him on his cellphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now; some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"
Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin
Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars
The cellphone company invited me to their party
but there turned out to be no reception.
What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power?
Cher-Mobile
What does a C++ function and a cellphone activated suicide bomber have in common?
Both are executed when they're called.
A cellphone with 3% battery walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
Wife and husband are in the living room.
She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.
"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."
I tried to buy a phone at the store the other day, but wasn't able to
Turns out it was a cellphone, not a buy phone
My nephew had a cellphone wedding...
The ceremony was great but the reception was terrible.
Ba dum tss
I went in for a job interview today...
The manager, looking for a great salesperson, picked up a laptop and said "sell me this laptop".
I proceeded to stick it under my armpit and walk out.
A few minutes later, the manager called my cellphone upset saying "bring it back!!!"
I said "i'll sell it to you for $200 bucks!"
The cellphone goes off in class...
Bully: "Aww, Is your Mommy calling you?"
The class emerges in snickers.
You: "Nope. Yours is."
The class becomes silent.
Why I don't trust photos taken from a cellphone camera
They seem...phony
I get angry when my cellphone battery dies
My therapist suggested that I find an outlet.
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls on the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his cellphone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator "I THINK MY FRIEND IS DEAD, WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!"
The operator responds in a calm, soothing voice "Everything will be ok, first we should make sure he's dead."
After a long silence, the operator hears a shot.
"Ok" Says the hunter "what now?"
As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking
Are you my tinder date?
My roommate's cellphone broke
He wants me to let you guys know he's vegan
One time, a detective solved a crime by shattering his cellphone cover
I guess you could say he really cracked the case.
My girlfriend's cellphone service sucks!
Eight days ago when she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's
gone straight to voicemail ever since.
Did you guys hear about the two cellphone towers that got married?
It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*
Why do cellphones have no mitochondria?
Its called powerbank, not powerhouse! :P
I do not follow any order!
\+ Your cellphone battery is at 5%. Connect your charger.
\- Ok.
When I was in college...
I liked a girl very much but I was afraid to approach her.One day my friend suggested to write my cellphone number on dollar bill and give it to her. I did likewise and told her it was dropped from her wallet.
The girl took it and went straight to the college cafe. She bought a burger and gave that money to the guy in the burger shop.
Now that guy from the burger shop texted me for a year asking how was the burger and when I'm coming next to the cafe.
A politicians promise
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.
A politician visited a village in India..
A politician visited an Indian village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in the village.
A politician visited a small remote rural town and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the Town Mayor. "First, we have a clinic but no doctors."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, "I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cell phone reception at all in our town.
Politicians these days.
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
We have two big needs, said the village headman. First, we have a hospital but no doctor.
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?
We have no cellphone reception at all in our village.
A POLITICIAN visited a village and asked what their needs were
We have 2 basic needs, sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's not the doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.
"I'll do whatever I can for my constituents"
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the village headman. "First, we have a hospital but no doctor."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while, and then said, "I have it sorted out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cellphone reception at all in our village."
Try your luck!
Want to win a new cellphone for Christmas?
Scratch below with a nail.
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Good luck!!!
My cellphone got wet, so I put it in rice, but I don't think it's working.
The soy sauce just made things worse.
Today i donated $1000
My headphones, cellphone and my watch to a needy. You have no idea how awesome it feels to see someone put his gun back in his pocket...
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cellphone plug jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cellphone antenna piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.