Cellphone Jokes
52 cellphone jokes and hilarious cellphone puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cellphone that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cellphone Short Jokes
Short cellphone jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cellphone humour may include short cell phone jokes also.
- It was announced yesterday that the 2020 summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones. Well, they're going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.
- Did you guys hear about the two cellphone towers that got married? It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*
- As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking Are you my tinder date?
- Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars
- Try your luck! Want to win a new cellphone for Christmas?
Scratch below with a nail.
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Good luck!!! - The cellphone goes off in class... Bully: "Aww, Is your Mommy calling you?"
The class emerges in snickers.
You: "Nope. Yours is."
The class becomes silent. - I tried to buy a phone at the store the other day, but wasn't able to Turns out it was a cellphone, not a buy phone
- I sat at the cafe today.
No cellphone.
No tablet.
No laptop.
I just sat there.
Drinking coffee.
Like a Psychopath. - My cellphone got wet, so I put it in rice, but I don't think it's working. The soy sauce just made things worse.
- What impresses me the most about Tour de France athletes is that they can go for five hours without looking at their cellphones.
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Cellphone One Liners
Which cellphone one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cellphone? I can suggest the ones about mobile phone and smartphone.
- My roommate's cellphone broke He wants me to let you guys know he's vegan
- Did you hear about the guy who traded his car for an old cellphone? Now he's got Nokia
- How do you talk with bacteria? By cellphone.
- Why I don't trust photos taken from a cellphone camera They seem...phony
- What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power? Cher-Mobile
- How do cells communicate with each other? Cellphones!
- I like my women like I like my cellphone plan... Free on nights and weekends.
- Can I borrow your cellphone? I need to call animal control cause I just saw a fox!
- what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels
- What is the diffrent between a girl and a cellphone... You can put a selfone on silent.
- A cellphone with 3% battery walks into a bar. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
- The cellphone company invited me to their party but there turned out to be no reception.
- How does broccoli use a cellphone? He cauliflower.
- Why do cellphones have no mitochondria? Its called powerbank, not powerhouse! :P
- A random woman asked for my cellphone. She stole my wallet too.
Cheeky Cellphone Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about cellphone you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean telephone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cellphone pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you drop your cellphone in water put it in a bowl of rice...
It will attract an Asian who will fix it for you. (just heard from buddy of mine)
These days people treat their cellphones like its a baby...
..except I never laugh when I drop my cellphone
A gender studies major gets mugged
A gender studies major is walking through Central Park on her way back to campus, when a mugger jumps her. He takes her wallet and purse, but lets her keep her cellphone.
She immediately calls the police. "Was it a man or a woman?" the cop asks once he got there.
"I don't know," she says. "I didn't get to ask."
A boy loses his cellphone
A boy loses his precious cellphone and asks his dad if he had seen it anywhere. His dad asks the boy
"Why don't you call it?"
"I left it on silent"
"Well you know what they say"
"What?"
"If you like it then you should've put a ring on it"
Cellphone Anger Management
Some people get angry when their cell phone runs out of power: they just need to find an outlet.
An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work...
... when his wife rings him on his cellphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now; some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a C++ function and a cellphone activated s**... bomber have in common?
Both are executed when they're called.
Wife and husband are in the living room.
She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.
"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend's cellphone service s**...!
Eight days ago when she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's
gone straight to voicemail ever since.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I always wondered why I don't see any food pictures on Instagram from third world country children
Then it hit me, silly me they probably can't afford cellphones
I do not follow any order!
\+ Your cellphone battery is at 5%. Connect your charger.
\- Ok.
When I was in college...
I liked a girl very much but I was afraid to approach her.One day my friend suggested to write my cellphone number on dollar bill and give it to her. I did likewise and told her it was dropped from her wallet.
The girl took it and went straight to the college cafe. She bought a burger and gave that money to the guy in the burger shop.
Now that guy from the burger shop texted me for a year asking how was the burger and when I'm coming next to the cafe.
A politicians promise
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.
Things to expect when you're expecting
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a bit, his cellphone rings and he answers it to hear his pregnant wife on the line out of breath and panting loudly. "Where are you!" she moans. "I'm down at the bar," the guy replies. "I think the baby is coming!" she gasps. "Well he won't get in," the guy says. "He's underage."
A joke my girlfriend told me
Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance
"See that over there? What is that?" Says the first crow
The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it"
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?" Replies the first crow
"Look at it's hand. No cellphone" says the second crow
