The Best 18 Cellmate Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cellmate jokes. There are some cellmate jail jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cellmate convict puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cellmate Jokes and Puns

Prisoners attempt to escape from jail.

The first one throws a rope to the top of the fence, and quietly climbs to the top. But before his cellmate can do the same, the rope breaks.

"How will I get out now?" The unfortunate prisoner asks. The other one pulls out a flashlight.

"Don't worry," he replied, "I'll shine the light down and you can climb up the beam of light."

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" He asked, "You'll turn it off when I'm halfway to the top!"

Did you hear about the guy who was sent to prison for poor grammar?

His cellmate put his semi in his colon.

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

"I'm stumped."

Cellmate joke, What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

My cell-mate had nick name for me...

Mitochondria.

My new years resolution is to have more sex!

I Haven't told my cellmate yet though


My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight.

Why does he care about how I spend my money?

In the Soviet Union, you could tell a joke three times . . .

Once to your friend, once to the judge, and once to your cellmate

Cellmate joke, In the Soviet Union, you could tell a joke three times . . .

A man goes to prison for the first time

A young man goes to prison for the first time, upon arriving in his cell, his cellmate, a towering monster of a human being says to him: "There is one rule in this cell, you can play the mamma or you can play the daddy. Since this is your first day, I will let you pick." The young man says: "Ok, I will be the daddy." The towering monster then says: "Alright, now come over here and give mamma some head."

An inmate went messing, and his cellmate, a cannibal, claimed he had eaten him

The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration.

What's another word for cellmate?

"Pen"-pal.

A guy gets taken to his cell on his first day of prison...

...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'

The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'

The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and suck mommy's cock'.

You can explore cellmate jailhouse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cellmate scrawny dad jokes. There are also cellmate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A cannibal was in prison.

One day, he ate his cellmate. The warden did not believe he had eaten the man. The cannibal threw up his hands in frustration.

Who is the only person over 60kg to ride a Melbourne Cup winner?

Chris Munce's cellmate.

One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody

I know my cellmate loves it

Cellmate: what are you in here for?

Me: (snuggling) my bunk is cold

As they were taking Amy Ashumer into jail.

She held her fist up in defiance. Later that night, her cellmate held her fist up in Amy.

Cellmate joke, As they were taking Amy Ashumer into jail.

Only 7 sleeps until Christmas!.

For Bill Cosby's cellmate.

What does a single brain cell need?

A cellmate

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cellmate mitochondria jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cellmate penitentiary piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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