Cellmate Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cellmate jokes. Read cellmate jail jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cellmate convict puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Cellmate Jokes with Friends.

Prisoners attempt to escape from jail.

The first one throws a rope to the top of the fence, and quietly climbs to the top. But before his cellmate can do the same, the rope breaks.

"How will I get out now?" The unfortunate prisoner asks. The other one pulls out a flashlight.

"Don't worry," he replied, "I'll shine the light down and you can climb up the beam of light."

"Do you really think I'm that s**...?" He asked, "You'll turn it off when I'm halfway to the top!"

Did you hear about the guy who was sent to prison for poor grammar?

His cellmate put his semi in his colon.

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

"I'm stumped."

My cell-mate had nick name for me...


My new years resolution is to have more s**...!

I Haven't told my cellmate yet though

My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight.

Why does he care about how I spend my money?

In the Soviet Union, you could tell a joke three times . . .

Once to your friend, once to the judge, and once to your cellmate

Cellmate joke, In the Soviet Union, you could tell a joke three times . . .

A man goes to prison for the first time

A young man goes to prison for the first time, upon arriving in his cell, his cellmate, a towering monster of a human being says to him: "There is one rule in this cell, you can play the mamma or you can play the daddy. Since this is your first day, I will let you pick." The young man says: "Ok, I will be the daddy." The towering monster then says: "Alright, now come over here and give mamma some head."

An inmate went messing, and his cellmate, a cannibal, claimed he had eaten him

The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration.

What's another word for cellmate?


A guy gets taken to his cell on his first day of prison...

...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'

The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'

The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and s**... mommy's c**...'.

You can explore cellmate jailhouse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cellmate scrawny dad jokes. There are also cellmate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A cannibal was in prison.

One day, he ate his cellmate. The warden did not believe he had eaten the man. The cannibal threw up his hands in frustration.

Who is the only person over 60kg to ride a Melbourne Cup winner?

Chris Munce's cellmate.

One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody

I know my cellmate loves it

Cellmate: what are you in here for?

Me: (snuggling) my bunk is cold

As they were taking Amy Ashumer into jail.

She held her fist up in defiance. Later that night, her cellmate held her fist up in Amy.

Cellmate joke, As they were taking Amy Ashumer into jail.

Only 7 sleeps until Christmas!.

For Bill Cosby's cellmate.

What does a single brain cell need?

A cellmate

A guy is spending his first night in prison

He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.

Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.

"46!" and everyone loses their minds.

He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"

"Well we've all been here so long we remember all the jokes by heart. To save time we just give them numbers and tell those instead."

"Oh I think I understand. Let me try. 63!"

There's dead silence.

The new guy says "What's wrong, is that one not funny?"

"Nah, it's a good one. Some people just don't know how tell a joke."

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the cellmate mitochondria puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working cellmate penitentiary piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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