The Best 35 Cell Phone Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cell Phone jokes. There are some cell phone phone jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cell phone mobile phone puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cell Phone Jokes and Puns

As she watches the news, an elderly woman calls her husband in concern.

She knows he is driving home, so she calls his cell phone.

"Dear, please be careful on the road today! I just heard on the radio that there is a driver going the wrong way down the highway."

Her husband replies, "Oh, it's not just one. There are hundreds of them!"

How is a toddler like a cell phone?

If you can't find it in three days it's probably dead.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "My dear husband, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 10. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said the husband, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Cell Phone joke, As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

A old man was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.

"Herbert, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herbert, "It's hundreds of them!"

Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.


My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.

The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.

A couple of Blondes are out in the woods hunting.......

When one of them falls to the ground and her eyes close. The other blonde whips out her cell phone and calls 911. She gasps to the operator, Help! Help! My friend Holly is dead! What should I do? The operator, in a calm voice, says, Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure she's really dead.


After a brief silence, a shot rings out, then the blonde's voice comes back on the line. OK, now what?

Cell Phone joke, A couple of Blondes are out in the woods hunting.......

A worried elderly lady calls her husband on his cell phone...

"Please be careful," she tells him worriedly. "I heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway."

To which he replies, "It's not just one car, it's all of them!"

Why was the cell phone wearing glasses?

He had lost his contacts!

How is a toddler like a cell phone?

If you can't find it within three days, you can presume it's dead.

How many NSA agents does it take to change a light bulb?

I've just been informed that the NSA no longer has the capability to change a light bulb, but if we give them access to everyone's email and cell phone communications they will hopefully intercept a message that will crack this lightbulb case wide open.

You can explore cell phone phones reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cell phone sim card dad jokes. There are also cell phone puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I called my girlfriends cell phone and some other guy answered the phone...

He told me that my phone number was no longer in service and to call the phone company to pay my bill.

First she cheats on me and then she tells him about my financial troubles!

Women Think Differently

Husband's Text Message by cell phone:

"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.

Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:

"Who's Paula?"

I get bitterly angry every time my cell phone dies.

My therapist suggested I find an outlet.

People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about.

It's your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about....



....it's been collecting dirt on you for years.

An old man goes in to town...

An old man decides to go into town one day to run some errands. On the way back, his wife calls his cell phone.

"Look out honey, I just saw on the news that there's a car driving the wrong way on the interstate."

"Not just one car, they all are!"

Cell Phone joke, An old man goes in to town...

Why did the cell phone need glasses?

Because it ran out of contacts.

What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?

1/6 G

My 8 year old son came up with this one.

!!BAD DRIVERS!!

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "**David, be careful!** I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"

David says, "I know, but there isn't just one, **there are hundreds!**"


The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$65,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: **"Anyone know whose phone this is?"**

An elderly couple is taking a Sunday drive on I-80

when the wife gets a call on her new-fangled cell-phone. Her daughter is frantic, "Mom, there is a lunatic driving the wrong way down the road on I-80 near your house!"

The wife turns to her husband and says, "Did you hear that? Some maniac is driving down the wrong side of the road!"

The husband screams, "One lunatic?! There are hundreds of them!"

What do AMC and Robinhood have in common?

Like AMC, Robinhood is asking their patrons to please turn their cell phones off as they are disturbing its customers.

You're lost in the middle of the woods at night, alone. The sky is cloudy, there are no trails, no map, no cell phone and no GPS. No sign of a city in any direction. How do you get back to civilization?

You tell an old joke out loud, wait a couple of minutes and follow any of the angry redditors shouting "repost!" back to civilization.

An elderly woman called 911...

An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.

"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"

The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.

Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.

"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."

He's a good boy.

A teenage girl is having a heated argument with her mother about her boyfriend, whom the mother does not like at all. "You can ground me, you can take my cell phone, but I am still seeing Roger". "I don't think he's any good" said mom. "He is too a good boy, why else would he be doing 200 hours of community service?".

I got a new cell phone for my wife...

Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!

While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.

I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.

While I was driving I saw a someone driving while talking on a cell phone.

I got so mad I threw my beer at him.

Yo momma is so fat, shes got more "coverage" than my cell phone provider

We went to see a movie the other night.

I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do, as it feels a little roomier.

Just as the movie was about to start, a blonde from the centre of the row got up and started making her way out, saying, "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, got to hurry, oops, excuse me."

By the time she got to me, I was pretty annoyed with her and asked, "Could you have not done this a little earlier?"

"No", she whispered loudly to me, "The 'TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE' message just came up on the screen, and mine is in the car."

I told my wife I deserve to be knighted after I fixed her dying phone.

I saved a damn cell in distress.

Notice at a religious place

Do not leave your cell phone,wallet,hand bags,gifts, un-attended; others may think they found an answer to their prayers!

If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation

You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer"

A young grandson is talking to his grandfather.

"You know grandpa. Our generation is so much better then yours. We have video games, the internet, cell phones and so much cool technology. Your generation didn't have any of that!"

His grandfather replies;
"You're right, we didn't have any of those things around. That's why we had to invent them!"

Why was the Italians cell phone bill so high?

He was always Roman.

I'm sorry.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cell phone handset jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cell phone dialing piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes