Celibate Jokes
10 celibate jokes and hilarious celibate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about celibate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Celibate Jokes
What is a good celibate joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How do single people honor valentine's day?
By Celibating!
A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books.
The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement. They ask him what is wrong and he says "the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"
I was celibate for 25 years...
then I got divorced...
A rabbi & a Catholic priest met at an interfaith conference
They decided to take a break for lunch together. While reading the menu, the priest asked a question.
"From what I know of your people Rabbi, you are not supposed to eat pork. Have you ever actually tried it?"
"Well, yes" said the rabbi "A couple of times. Now tell ME, Father- I've heard that your people are supposed to be celibate. So have YOU ever...?"
"um" the priest stumbled "in my youth, once or twice..."
"Better than pork, isn't it?!"
An InCel is someone who is involuntarily celibate. What do you call someone who is voluntarily celibate?
Married.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've never had s**... before
It's nothing to celibate though
The celibate butcher is pretty successful in his occupations.
Nothing beats his meat!
Why are nuns celibate?
It's hard to get out of the habit.
Why did Jesus decide to become celibate?
He was tired of his girlfriend's yelling his dad's name.
When Catholic priests and nuns take their vows, do they throw a party?
We should call that celibating.
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